Yes or no

Chapter 48 The Middle Past 47

An Ning felt that she had fallen into emptiness and chaos, and she needed someone to help her escape to the shore, no matter which shore it was, otherwise she would drown in this illusory loneliness.But she has nothing, no one.All she has is emptiness and chaos, boundless.

She can't find her, she can't tell her about herself, she doesn't want her sympathy or pity, she just wants her to be happy, and she wants to be at ease.In the final analysis, An Ning is just using something to torture herself and the people around her.

She couldn't bear it alone.

An Ning walks around every day, twisting her nose and gnashing her teeth, doing all the things she despises, despises, and fears; she goes to meet different women, even men, and does the same things with them.She couldn't spare a moment to herself.In order to escape loneliness, she re-constructed another piece of emptiness and loneliness with the body, drugs and vague desires, and sank into it.

There seemed to be hundreds of messages from Liu Huaiyu, but An Ning didn't reply.When receiving a call from Liu Huaiyu, An Ning turned off the phone, turned over and got dressed, she rushed over again, An Ning dodged away, and cursed viciously.An Ning ran away without saying a word.

When walking at night, An Ning really felt like a wild dog, pitiful.

"Deserved it," she told herself.

Trees are planted in the streets and alleys, and the narrow roads are hooked together by branches standing on both sides.An Ning was walking in the middle of the road, and occasionally a speeding car made an awkward turn around An Ning, cursing loudly, "Damn you! I'm sick!"

An Ning got sick.The medicine is in the bag and needs to be taken once a day.An Ning never ate.

Liu Huaiyu was standing in front of the door.The trousers were straight, and he was leaning against the wall, his shadow being dragged by the street lamp strangely.The suit jacket was draped over his shoulders, and he looked down at the road, not knowing how long he had been waiting.He was much thinner than before, but he was still in high spirits, with a smile on his face, almost blooming.

Before An Ning ran up, she let go of her hair pinned behind her ears to cover the corners of her eyes, then hugged his arm enthusiastically, and asked, "Have you been waiting for a long time? Why didn't you go in?"

Liu Huaiyu was startled by the sudden enthusiasm.Carefully look at the person in front of her to make sure she is peaceful.She wore a bold red baseball jacket with shorts that came up above the knee.When we met for the second time after graduation, she seemed to be more beautiful. At the same time, Liu Huaiyu felt that she didn't look like An Ning anymore.There was no light in her eyes, and there was too much smile on her face.See you in two years, Liu Huaiyu can't feel the joy of reunion, and there seems to be no one in front of him.

Being dragged over the wall into the yard, unlocked and opened the door, An Ning's movements were done in one go.The light in the living room was on, and a delicate woman was sitting on a chair, seeing two people coming in, trembling with anger.

"You don't come back until what time is it? Look at what the hell you look like! It's not enough to mess around outside, and you dare to bring a man back and you want to piss me off?" Du Yun growled.

An Ning pulled Liu Huaiyu straight upstairs, "You want to see me bring a woman back" slowly.

"If you do this again, get out! Get out and don't come back!"

After hearing this, An Ning turned around and ran to Du Yun, and said word by word, "Even if I die, I will die in this house, so you can just bury me under that tree." Turn around and push Liu Huaiyu into the door.

Du Yun was speechless at the original place, his whole body trembling.

"Your brother... is still studying?" Liu Huaiyu sat on the window sill.The house is a mess, clothes, books, quilts and pillows are thrown everywhere, but there is a neat pile of cigarette butts on the other side of the window sill, and there is a small fish tank next to it, full of water, but there are no fish .

The Anning window faces the cherry tree in the yard, which is luxuriantly branched and leafy.

"Well, it's time to graduate. He seems to be suitable for studying." An Ning came over and closed the curtains, her body leaned over, and there was a ostentatious smell of perfume.It shouldn't be hers.

"Has your relationship with your mother always been like this?"

"No." She lay down on the bed and reached for the pillow at the head of the bed. Her curves were just shown in front of her eyes, which was not real at all.She was real, and her body even more so.The little beast on Liu Huaiyu's body was about to move.

"You're not doing well at home." Liu Huaiyu lit a cigarette, as if asking, but also as if drawing conclusions, then took out another one and handed it to her.

"It seems to be" she also seemed to be asking, took the cigarette casually, without looking at it, lit it directly, then leaned against the head of the bed and sat on the ground.Her denim shorts were worn white with holes, and one or two scars on her thighs could be vaguely seen.She sat on the ground with her legs propped up, the legs that she once yearned for but never had the time to appreciate in detail were almost directly displayed in front of Liu Huaiyu.Liu Huaiyu swallowed secretly.

Liu Huaiyu discovered that after so many years, her attraction to him is still so strong.Even after knowing so many things about her, her curiosity about her still continued unabated.She has short hair in a mess at the moment, and she habitually stretches out her obstructive hair behind her ears.There are a few more ear holes on the earlobe, which are empty.The neck was long and slender, and there was a red spot like a bead of blood near the shoulder. Liu Huaiyu felt countless ants crawling around in his heart.

Thinking back carefully, Liu Huaiyu almost still remembered that feeling, the feeling of her body.Back then, drunk was drunk, but my senses were more sensitive than before.

Now she was here, again.

"You still have no plans, why don't you come to my place..." Liu Huaiyu sincerely wanted to save her from leaving, and also save herself.

She was silent, as if weighing. "We need to torture each other"

Liu Huaiyu didn't understand at first, but it took a long time to realize that we are not ourselves here.

She looked towards the curtain, "You still haven't changed, how are you doing?"

"You have changed so much that you are almost unrecognizable," Liu Huaiyu didn't say.It was only after looking carefully that she noticed that the corners of her eyes seemed to be turning blue.If you look closely, there are several bruises of different shades on the face and arms. "What did you do?" Liu Huaiyu walked up to An Ning, reaching out to touch the wound on her eye, but An Ning grabbed her hand, her hand was so cold.

"It's okay." She lowered her head, as if she didn't care.

Liu Huaiyu sat on the bed beside her.

"How is everyone doing?"

"The hero has also gone abroad." Liu Huaiyu turned to look at her, and then said, "The class leader has entered the school, and I am really tired for him. Why should he keep his mouth shut!"

She smiled.

"When did you and that little girlfriend break up?" An Ning fiddled with her messy hair.

"It hasn't been long. I have things I want to do, and I don't have time to fall in love. Besides, I said it a long time ago, falling in love with them is just to prove that the function is not aging..." Liu Huaiyu flicked the ashes into the ashtray, An empty beer can.

"It's pretty good too." An Ning leaned her head on the bed.

"Hmm." Liu Huaiyu lay on the bed on her back, leaning against her hair.In the past, she always had a fresh smell of grass and trees, and he stopped talking, as if he was recalling.

Neither of them mentioned the accident that happened last time.Liu Huaiyu couldn't help thinking, would she miss it?

An Ning knew early on that he and her would not last long.I heard him talk about that girl, and I have seen her before. She is like a photo. She is good and her beauty is clear.But what he likes is a poem, the backside of words, digging, and the process.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" An Ning asked.

"Two years."

"So fast?" An Ning asked in surprise.

"Well, yes." He replied flatly.

I met once two years ago, but I haven't contacted for almost two years.Liu Huaiyu told herself why her dissatisfaction could be dragged on for so long because of responsibility.Oh, responsibility, another bluffing trick.

"It's not easy to take a taxi at night, so you can stay with me." Saying that, An Ning got up and rummaged through the closet for the sheets and quilts.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Liu Huaiyu asked, and stood by the window sill again.With a crack open, the lights downstairs were still on, and the cherry tree stood upright in the yard, without saying a word.The fish tank on the window sill didn't have any waves.

The answer of "no" is categorical, and her relationship with them is very simple. "Close the curtains! Don't open the curtains at night!" She suddenly became nervous.

"How about I stay in your brother's room?" Liu Huaiyu didn't expect the sudden change of mood.

"I don't have his house key, and he doesn't like other people sleeping in his bed. Hehe, he likes sleeping in someone else's bed." An Ning changed the sheets again, and spread out a thick quilt on the floor next to the bed , The debris on the ground was kicked behind the door and piled up into a hill.

The only word that came to Liu Huaiyu's head was "we".This scene has been like a dream countless times, and now it is just like this.

Jumping forward is the only thought a man should have.

"On the right side of the bathroom, I don't have pajamas, so I'll be wronged and come out wrapped in a towel." An Ning instructed.

When Liu Huaiyu came out of the bathroom again, Du Yun was walking downstairs, still furious.Liu Huaiyu wanted to explain, but An Ning yelled lazily behind her, "Come in! Why is it taking so long~" Liu Huaiyu heard the reputation and looked around. She was naked and leaned against the door without any shyness. Instead, it was more like a show.Du Yun stopped and immediately went downstairs quickly.

Standing in the hut again, Liu Huaiyu felt embarrassed.

"Where's your fish?" Liu Huaiyu asked questions to try to ease the atmosphere.

"Dead." An Ning put on a vest and shorts behind the door.The shorts were really short, they couldn't cover the scars on her legs, and the color was lighter than the skin itself.But the wound must have been deep at the time, so you could see the bulge and even the shadow.The old scar on the leg was not of the same period as the new one on the face, nor was it caused by the same cause.

Yes, of course he died.

"How to cultivate water directly?"

"No." An Ning stopped the movement, and then resumed.

"Accept me as an apprentice," Liu Huaiyu blurted out.

"Your six roots are not clean, so you are not suitable for cultivation."

There was a similar conversation between the two many years ago.At that time, she was lonely and resolute, like a deer; he was humorous and free, like a gust of wind.But now the wind gathers into clouds, and the deer loses its soul.

"What about you?" Liu Huaiyu didn't want to ask such a question.

An Ning lay on the bed with her arms pillowed on her back, not speaking.

Liu Huaiyu was lying on the ground next to An Ning's bed, also with her face up.The ceiling is not high, and the dim lights hang in the middle, making the room even smaller.Being suppressed in such a cramped environment, even good people will get sick.

"You and An Nannan really haven't been in touch anymore," Liu Huaiyu asked.

"Um"

"She seems to be doing okay."

"Do you still like women?" Liu Huaiyu asked "female", not "her".

An Ning snorted, but didn't think about it.

"She has been abroad for half a year, it seems to be quite hard." Liu Huaiyu continued.

"Hmph" An Ning didn't know how to answer.The most conspicuous place on the desk was the books that An Nannan had sent back.The last page of each book will be signed with a mood, and there is a sentence "LOVE YOU". Does An Ning flip through and touch those gifts, as if re-absorbing her light, but never dares to contact her.An Ning needs a result, preferably happiness, but An Nannan can't promise, not even happiness.

People are really greedy.At the beginning, An Ning didn't think about anything, as if she was content with being by her side.But after knowing her intentions, An Ning felt aggrieved instead, so she wanted more.If she is not greedy, just like at the beginning, she may be relying on another her at this moment.

"Are you a pig, keep humming." Liu Huaiyu reached out to the bed and yelled at her.

She laughed on the bed.

He reached out to touch her hand and squeezed it in. Her hand was as cold as if it had been frozen.

She had laughed enough and stopped, her hands still cold.She grabbed Liu Huaiyu's wrist with her backhand and felt his pulse. He was healthy, energetic and full of life.An Ning is not afraid of him, nor does she find him annoying, he is different from those men, he is as clean as water.

"My dad is getting married again. He is not a few years older than me. He looks good with a protruding front and a curvy back." Liu Huaiyu said suddenly, "He is going to be 60 years old, and I really admire him. He even led him around in front of my mother. , do you know what my mother said after watching it?"

"say what"

"She just spat and didn't say anything. She didn't bother to bother anymore, probably because she was old. It should be old, we are all getting old..."

"Are you sad?" An Ning asked while lying on her side.

"My mother doesn't seem to be sad. Her only wish is to stop having anything to do with my father. After they divorced, according to her own words, every day is New Year's Eve." Liu Huaiyu smiled.

"What about you?" An Ning asked.

"Their divorce is also a good thing for me. Usually, if I get into trouble, I must be beaten severely. After the divorce, my mother and my father stopped beating... They think it is because of them that I deliberately caused trouble... Just like you now In this way "Liu Huaiyu rested her arm on the pillow, and let her hold the other hand.

"Did you do it on purpose?" An Ning continued to ask.

Liu Huaiyu didn't speak.

An Ning used to give Liu Huaiyu the prescription to drive away pain and avoid harm, and her mind was paralyzed, and she repeatedly emphasized to her brain that the bad things that happened were all fake, they were dreams.Liu Huaiyu asked, "Your method has failed? I feel that your current state is very bad."

"Now I can't tell what is true and what is false. It turned out that the child who accompanied me grew up, he did bad things, we quarreled, and he ignored me. Then I met you and An Nannan, and then An Nan Nan ignored me. Then you ignored me...Which one is real or fake? Is it that even you and An Nannan were all thought up by me. Then the pain I am suffering now, Is it also fake?"

An Ning turned sideways to look at Liu Huaiyu on the ground, he was stretching his upper body, his muscles were not as beautiful as before, probably because he hadn't exercised for a long time.The bare skin is fair, and the dark circles under the eyes are heavy after not being in the sun for a while, and I have been staying up late lately.He has been busy.But his smile was still so bright, and An Ning suddenly remembered the big boy who stood on the podium and said that he was willing to lend his birthday, and the regret when he apologized.The one in front of me has already lost its childishness, and life makes us have to mature.An Ning's soft fingers touched his arm and asked, "Say, are you real? Are you real?"

How terrifying would it be if all the beauty and misery experienced were an incomparably real dream.

"Are you real? You used to be real, now what?" An Ning's fingers slid to his face and eyebrows.

Accepting her provocation, Liu Huaiyu turned over and jumped onto the bed as if fully charged, pressed An Ning on the fresh sheets, and asked, "What do you think?" Her smell was fresh fruit, mellow.

Two overlapping shadows were attached to his side, also reflected on the bed sheet.

Many stories can happen between two people who are torn and overlapped, passionate or angry.It's not the first time, there is no shyness and clinging.An Ning is ready, ready to meet.Don't like it, but it's okay.How to say, he is much better than those people, after all, he still has sincerity.He and she still have past memories and nostalgia, and there is a last time.

The most important thing is that An Ning is in her own bed, and more importantly, she is not facing the night alone tonight.

If there is a price, you can bear it, and you must bear it.

An Ning raised her hand and brushed Liu Huaiyu's face, a tough man with sharp edges and corners.To describe him, "Xiao Xiao Su Su, hearty and clear" is also very appropriate.An Ning has met a lot of men, seeing their various ugliness and presumed beauty, An Ning only finds it disgusting.And the him in front of him, there is no pretense, let alone pretentiousness, it can't be more real, so naturally he won't hate it, but it's a pity that he is a man.Of course, the one on the top is An Nannan who is the best.

An Nannan usually just wraps her arms around her side for warmth.

Nothing is out of order.An Ning rested her hand on the stubble of his chin, and felt that every part of his body was as tough and real as him.This time, Liu Huaiyu was not drunk, nor was An Ning.She put her arms around his neck, leaned towards her face, and kissed his short, hard stubble.

He watched her provocation, but he still didn't dare to launch an attack.The blood is rolling and clamoring, just waiting for an order to capture the city.Liu Huaiyu exhaled and left An Ning's body.Her hands rested on his neck.The two of them lay awkwardly on the narrow bed.

"An Ning, can you move your hand away..." Before finishing the second half of the sentence, Liu Huaiyu's adrenaline surged, her voice was obviously suppressed, but it was even more provocative.Men's sexuality is different from women's.

An Ning didn't move, but acted provocatively. His hand continued to walk on his body, and the temperature returned to his hand. "Why?" asked knowingly.

Liu Huaiyu clamped her hands sideways and pressed her legs against hers.Her skin is smooth.Liu Huaiyu looked at this woman seriously again, this is An Ning, she is living in the secular world, playing games in this world, she is completely different from before, but she is still An Ning.

Liu Huaiyu wanted to just accept her provocation, let her submit to her feet, worship and adore her like other women, and serve and look forward to herself like a god.Underneath her, she smiled as pretty as a spring peach, but she was just a silly child.Liu Huaiyu hugged her tightly, kissed her forehead and cheek, and then buried her face in his chest.

"You let go, I can't breathe, hehe" she was still laughing. "Don't you want it?" An Ning couldn't lift her head up, doing evil, doing evil.

"I want it. I want to be happy with each other even more... An Ning, you are playing with fire now..." Liu Huaiyu explained.

"Are you real?" An Ning asked timidly.

"Really, An Ning. It's truer than pearls." Liu Huaiyu smoothed her messy hair with his hands, carefully avoiding the redness and swelling on her face.

"I seem to know my dad's whereabouts." An Ning behaved like a cat, "I'm a little scared... Liu Huaiyu, I want to live well, read this article... It's a little cold, I need the sun... "An Ning is still crying, unable to speak clearly.What should have been said two years ago has dragged two spring and autumn cycles, and it is too late.Liu Huaiyu couldn't understand either, but tried to comfort her with movements.The little beast shrank back in fear and stopped looking around.Facing her, no matter what decision you make, you can't be satisfied.

"Tomorrow will be fine, An Ning. Go to sleep, it will be fine when you wake up..." Liu Huaiyu patted her on the back, probably because of the alcohol, she really fell asleep immediately.

It was late at night, and the lights were even more dim, Liu Huaiyu let go of An Ning, rubbed his arms and sat at the table.A small jewelry box containing two bodhi seeds, thick and soft.Several foreign language books are neatly placed at hand.Liu Huaiyu frowned and avoided them, and reached out to take down a thick notebook from the bookshelf.A shriveled little red flower lay quietly in the middle of the paper, and the petals that were originally pompom-like now looked like sharp thorns.The handwriting on the paper was light and messy, and the geometric figures drawn casually were almost unreadable.Liu Huaiyu stared at them strenuously, and managed to see a few neatly written contents:

April 8

Liu Huaiyu said, what he misses is, I miss you, so everyone looks like you, but none of them are as good as you.

Today's Chinese Valentine's Day, I miss you too.But you only said that you let him take advantage of the loopholes

Calling every day, he is a fool, he is so stupid, you are also a fool, and I want to be a fool too.

Only fools are happy.

April 8

Drink light wine and listen to the wind and rain.The wind is light and the clouds are light, and the afterglow of the setting sun.

But it's all a lie, not real.Only fools would be fooled!

Until May Thirty one

They say love has to be confessed

My sheep don't know I love you, they just want me to feed them on time

April 8

There is nothing in this world that belongs to me

Even those sheep who don't understand farts

he doesn't belong

not to mention the girl in the green dress

Until May Thirty one

I hate you

Whatever the reason, I don't want to be tortured by things that don't work anymore.Why don't you give me a response and end it quickly

Is it because you regret it or because you dare not?coward.

Of course I'm also a coward.

I dare not do it myself, why ask you

April 8

Seen the little aunt and the uncle, and it was a sad story to hear her tell.She said that I was exactly the same as him, and I looked and behaved more alike.ridiculous.I really don't want to be his daughter, and I don't want to be like him, but why have I become another him unknowingly?

Another nonsense with no results.Let's hope he's not suffocated in another place.

However, how much ability is there to live in the world without leaving a trace.

Or rather, it was just a scam.

An Ning, An Yan, Lin Yanning.Regardless of whether he is pitiful or not, he is a pitiful man after all.

Until May Thirty one

I wish I could see you, touch you, kiss you, hear you say, I love you.

Reluctant to let go, memories are the most seductive and deceiving.

He said no result is the best result.Just pretend it's true.

If only one person can be happy, I hope it's you.

Until May Thirty one

On the second day after returning home, An Yan was preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination.Talking about Lin Yanning to him, the silly boy can still laugh.He said that he had forgotten An Shaolin a long time ago and had no memory at all, so he couldn't hate him, so he thought he was brave.An Yan said, I also hope you are brave.

I also wish I could be braver.

I haven't chatted with my mother in a serious manner for many years. I don't know how to start, so I don't want to talk about it.She would probably be sad to hear about him.

God, if it is possible, really, I hope they can be happy.

April 11

Do evil, do evil, do evil.

12

His hair was all gone, and he couldn't remember who I was.Hehe, is this kind of thing so easy for him to forget? It's ridiculous.

In fact, she no longer hated him that much, and when facing him, she no longer had the idea of ​​revenge.In contrast, what is more hated is not the evildoers, but the ones who turn a blind eye.They are worse than the real evildoers.

April 5

Am I letting go? Can I accept myself? Why can't we be together forever?

Until May Thirty one

What's real, those are my imaginations

I really did those bad things, didn't he?how could be?I've seen him, received his calls, texts, met his eyes face to face, how could he not be real

What else is fake?Is An Nannan a fake?Does Liu Huaiyu not exist?Me too?

how can i believe

Until May Thirty one

It really feels like a failure, and it doesn't make sense.The news is full of big events at home and abroad.Meetings, new technology, new weapons, new president.

When the height is not enough, it will be anxious and entangled, because it is impossible to suddenly see the light.

When I was wrapped up in these things, I suddenly found that I couldn't jump up or crawl.So I had no choice but to fall on the spot and let it go on like this.

There are so many major events that happened, and I can't find any relationship with any of them.

No one can save me.

In this world, people are all alone.

April 5

Had an extremely real nightmare, is it a dream? Anyway, it is not at this moment, at this moment, only light is needed!

Even monsters who are accustomed to darkness will yearn for light.It is also the instinct of living things.Need light, need warmth, need a kind call.

At this time, I miss Liu Huaiyu the most, thinking that when he stands under the sun, his whole body is covered with the sun, and when he smiles, he also glows.When he laughed he showed his canine teeth, and when he raised his arm his shirt slid over his arm, showing a section of his wrist.His beautiful hair, and his warm and strong hands.

If he had been chosen in the first place, wouldn't there be so many troubles.

He is so similar to you, but...

April 6

The dog originally wanted a bone, but instead of giving it, he wanted to drive the dog away.Will he regret being bitten to death by a dog just because of this? Anyway, it's too late.

I want light, to live well, preferably to be happy, and now I want you to be happy even more.

April 6

History and the future are both accidental rather than carefully planned.So there are always surprises.Those endings that were supposed to be logical were obliterated, but the most unbelievable reason was the biggest driving force.There are inflection points everywhere, and one inadvertently becomes history and eternity, which is engraved on the stele and passed on by word of mouth.Neither the past nor the future is fair.

Only live today.

The past is a deception, and the future is even more a deception.It doesn't make sense.

Can only live today.

I don't know if the last text was written on June [-] this year or what year it was.Sitting at the table, Liu Huaiyu repeatedly studied the diary that contained her secrets and the past. Thinking of the rumors about An Ning that she heard back then, she seemed to understand why An Ning made such a fool of herself.You can't ask for it, you can't ask for it.An Nannan, the father in the diary, Lin Yanning, the old him, her first love that was not mentioned in the diary, and her mother were the main culprits who caused An Ning to suffer.She is unhappy because she is carrying the debt and pain of the past and refuses to let go.She tortured herself to give herself an excuse, or to prove that she was still alive.

But who lives in this world without the pain of the past? Everyone thinks that they are unhappy, but they are only demanding themselves according to other people's standards.We are blindfolded and cannot see ourselves clearly.We think that what others have is what we want.In the end, it is of course asking for suffering.Living in this world, who is really quiet?

The mediocrity disturbs itself.

Liu Huaiyu closed the notebook and put it back.

She is stuck.

Looking back at the tranquility on the bed, she was lying on her side curled up into a ball, and in her dream she was also trembling, not knowing what she was afraid of.This is the real An Ning University years, the An Ning that exists in the memories has always been firm and brave, detached from things, and ignored everything.At this time, she was trapped in the secular world, like a frightened rabbit, panicking all day long.

Liu Huaiyu turned off the light, and the curtain leaked a crack, feeling that all the movements in the house were being watched by the cherry tree outside.

Liu Huaiyu couldn't help shivering, quickly pulled the curtains tight, lay back beside An Ning, and faced her face to face.This time, Liu Huaiyu really couldn't have any obscene thoughts.An Ning in the dream cried again, and the suppressed crying immediately turned into a low whimper, like a dog being strangled.Out of responsibility, Liu Huaiyu hugged her into his arms.Slowly fell asleep.

It's been a long night.

Liu Huaiyu left, but An Ning didn't see her off.She dressed and packed her things in the house.The light warms the room.Throwing away the old calling card, I once again broke the connection with the past.Like resetting a machine, An Ning made up her mind to start a new life.Leave all the past behind, just think it's a bluffing dream.

For half a month, An Ning went home after get off work every day.Seeing the change in her daughter, Du Yun was surprised but couldn't remember the root of her change.In fact, every time she changed, Du Yun didn't know the root cause.When she was a child, An Ning was naughty and playful like a boy, but suddenly one day she became silent, and the gloomy look on her face was more and more similar to An Shaolin.After what happened in junior high school, she became even more irritable and closed herself off.After college, her temperament became milder again, but she started to degenerate only two years after graduation, and since she lived at home, she has changed her ways to find happiness.Seeing An Ning crawling out of the mud pit at this time, Du Yun felt that it was always good.Although she was her mother, Du Yun was a little afraid of her, and he didn't want to get close to her from the bottom of his heart.There is always another person's shadow swaying around her, Du Yun just thinks of it and feels disgusted and terrible.

While An Ning was eating, Du Yun silently added vegetables and soup. "When will An Yan come back?" An Ning asked without raising her head.

"I haven't heard him talk about it, he just said he was busy," Du Yun replied.Although he seldom took care of the two of them, his own child, the flesh and blood that fell from his body, still had a clear temper.She took the initiative to speak, Du Yun felt happy.Let's not mention the past.

"Mom, I was in love once when I was in college. I felt that I loved her very much and couldn't live without her." An Ning put down her chopsticks, raised her head, and looked at Du Yun calmly.

Du Yun was startled, and immediately asked, "Why did that boy break up?"

"It's not him. He was also a classmate in college."

The lights in the dining room dangled overhead, as if they were on the verge of falling.The shadows of the two people swayed on the table.

"Oh, I never mentioned it. What kind of person is he?" Du Yun felt guilty, and never gave An Ning and An Yan companionship and care during their growth.If I hadn't been so selfish, maybe there would be no tragedy for her.

"Serious, cheerful, gentle, and beautiful. And sensible." An Ning recalled carefully.

"Why are we not together anymore?" Du Yun asked cautiously.

"I asked her if she wanted to be together, but she didn't answer. Her family would not accept me, and her family was very strict... I know she likes me too, but she was also afraid that there would be no result in the end. She seemed to think clearly I even thought about elopement, and went to the grassland with her to graze sheep, isn't it silly?" After she finished speaking, she smiled sourly.

Du Yun thought of himself back then.History is like a joke, fooling generations of people. "Stupid. He's quite sensible... Don't take responsibility if you can't afford it... This is the best. True love is forbearance, reckless is infatuation. Neither love nor infatuation can be relied on... In life, you have to rely on Only a more solid reason can support it..." Du Yun expressed his feeling.

An Ning nodded, unable to tell if he agreed or denied.

"It seems like she's getting married." An Ning was also surprised that she could say this calmly.

Du Yun silently looked at his daughter's face under the light, as if he had never seen it before. "You have to move forward. You are destined to have nothing to do with each other. Don't be sad..."

"She's a woman." An Ning added some tofu, put it in the bowl, and didn't eat it.

Du Yun was startled.Yes, it seems that the confession in junior high school was not a prank, it was true.

An Ning nodded.After talking about one matter, there is another matter on my heart.

"Mom, do you think it's better to stay together or have it once?"

Her pitch rose, and the ending was drawn out.Du Yun couldn't answer.I originally thought that staying together was the best ending, but I realized how difficult it is for two different people to stay together for a long time after actually living together. People who are tortured by trivialities in life are almost suffocating.Yes, to suffocate.As for the reminiscence, there must be some regrets and reconciliation.

It is said that a man needs at least two women.Marry a red rose, and over time it will become a lump of mosquito blood, while the white one is still "the moonlight in front of the window"; if you choose a white rose, it will become sticky rice on your clothes after a long time, while the red one is still the tip of your heart. Cinnabar nevus on the skin.In fact, it has nothing to do with men and women. Humans just occupy the black, think about the white, live, and feel unsatisfied no matter what.

"Do you know who Lin Yanning is?" An Ning finished her meal, the rice bowl was placed under her nose, and the chopsticks were still in her hands.Du Yun couldn't eat anymore, and pretended to answer that he didn't know.I really didn't expect that she came here specially to make a fuss about the past!

"Did the names of me and An Yan be removed from this name? I found An Shaolin's sister and brother-in-law two years ago. Have you seen that man?" An Ning stopped to see the reaction of the person opposite, "His brother-in-law said that since you He never heard from my dad after he got married. It seems that he misses it quite a bit. Mom, do you really not know who Lin Yanning is? My dad never mentioned it to you"

Du Yun didn't speak, and he couldn't tell if it was anger or fear that were both entangled in his complicated emotions.

"My uncle is Lin Yanning! What a coincidence. That aunt has never had a child. She is so rich, but she is quite pitiful. She is more pitiful than you. At least you still have me and An Yan." An Ning looked at the one who was about to get up and leave Du Yun grabbed her hand, "Don't clean it up, Mom, I'll clean it up later!"

Du Yun knew he couldn't escape.An Ning, who was calm and gentle just now, suddenly became terrifying and ferocious, and even her smile was weird and had other meanings.she is angry