our town

Chapter 39: Heart

Reconciliation, after all, reconciliation, but I betrayed my beliefs and became infinitely pathetic.

I bowed my head twice, and I lost everything.

On the first night when Sanbao and I reconciled, we didn't do anything. I was immersed in grievances and sniffled. Sanbao was annoyed by my crying and asked me if I had cried enough.

I'm not crying about your cheating, I'm crying about myself, how humble I am.

I thought I'd break your heart by crying, and you'd only be unhappy.

Sanbao had a good talk with me, and said that reconciliation is fine, but I must write a letter of guarantee to guarantee that I will not make trouble for no reason in the future, that I will not go crazy with troubles, that I am not allowed to interfere with him, and that I can only love him alone.He will come back after writing.

I watched his back as he closed the door, and started to pick up my pen.

It is also a mistake to never feel that the words are good.

Guaranteed to write it once, he came back to read it and was not satisfied, so he asked me to rewrite it.Enduring great humiliation, I spread out a pen and paper and continued to write this flustered letter of guarantee.

I wrote all my dignity and confidence into the letter of guarantee. I wrote five or six times just to apologize, and I wrote more than a dozen times just to love you. An extremely absurd treaty.

The three blank sheets of paper were full and soaked with my tears.

Sanbao chose to turn a blind eye and only said that my writing was so-so and barely qualified.

Sambo accepted my apology and reassurance, and came back to live with me.

The seemingly peaceful days are full of depression.He didn't care about me at first, ordered me casually, scolded me whenever he wanted, didn't hug me at night, and almost didn't engage in any kind of activities.I followed him tremblingly, and even when I went out, I was attacked and ridiculed by him. He started flirting in front of others, showing no respect for me.

I timidly followed him, not daring to speak, not daring to speak, for fear of offending him if I made a mistake.

I was the most humble during that time.

One night, because of a small matter, I provoked him again. He didn't do anything, and asked me to stand by the wall as punishment. I was full of grievances, but I dared not refuse. When I stood facing the wall, I almost shed tears in shame. Seeing that it was almost time for me to be punished, Sanbao called me over and hugged me. This made me feel the warmth that I hadn't seen for a long time, and I yearned for such a hug.

My love is humble enough, if I touch the truth first, I lose first.

It's very boring at home. I borrowed my cousin's computer to use, play games, and watch dramas, which also shared a lot of my attention.

One unknown afternoon, Sanbao and I quarreled over a trivial matter. I didn't dare to let Sanbao go, so I ran out by myself.

When I came back again, Sambo was not there, and neither was the computer. I called frantically, and Sambo said he would be back soon, and he was back soon. He came back empty-handed. Sambo sold my cousin’s computer for 2000 yuan. , I bought the entire computer for my cousin for [-] yuan, and he sold it for [-] yuan. Why, this is my cousin’s computer. I am very angry, really angry, but angry In any way, I have chosen this person, so I have to accept all his imperfections and all his badness.

Facts have proved that the Three Jewels are bad.

Three Treasures is also famously called, let you quarrel with me, let you run outside, I will sell your computer, what can you do to me.

I looked at his rogue face, helpless.

Yes, I have become so humbled by love.

After this incident, Sanbao began to smoke in public. Although I knew about it before, I always turned a blind eye to it. This is also the reason for his long and short married life in the early stage.

Being greedy for his body and causing him to suck d is also an important reason between us. Sometimes I don't understand whether he is for me or for himself.After all, we are all here to enjoy.

If you add a reason to something, even if it doesn't seem so reliable, as long as it is conducive to human comfort, the human brain will persuade it, accept it, and make the conditions stand.

This should be the result of the survival of the fittest and natural selection in the process of human evolution. Simply put, it is that people who can lie down will never sit, and those who can sit will never stand.

We are just ordinary people, we have no throne to inherit, we have chosen the most suitable state for human existence, we are lazy, and we have found various excuses for our laziness.

Both Sanbao and I succumbed to this kind of "laziness", he dragged me, I dragged him, entangled each other, fell into each other, and got deeper and deeper.

I am fine, and you are fine, but when we meet together, it becomes bad.

This is fate, this is the reincarnation of fate, this is what we owed each other in the previous life, this is what you and I repay in this life, you take love, and I take half my life.

I once said to Sambo: "I love you, the kind that can block bullets for you, without hesitation, without complaint or regret."

See, it's not just half life, I can give him my whole life, no complaints or regrets.

But Sanbao didn't believe it, and always felt that there was a crack in the love between us. The crack started from Li Jiao, from Xiao Yan, from my series of friends, he felt uneasy, from me to my classmates, he felt that he was inferior.

He began to suppress me, hit me, and trample me, thinking that by stepping on my soul, he can control me from a higher level, and he can become noble and nobler than me, so that our relationship will be right. Wait, he can have no scruples, he can laugh.

In the final analysis, he is timid, and I don't understand.

I met Sambo at an age when I didn't understand love.It was the first time I experienced being cared for, cared for, and imprisoned by others. My little heart began to take root and sprout. Before I grew into a big tree, the tree planter felt that I could not grow freely. I'm afraid that if I grow taller, he won't be able to see or reach me if I'm so tall.

The inferiority of human beings is at work again. He wants to destroy this sapling, let it grow in his own way, and grow into a small tree that he can appreciate and irrigate alone. He loves it, but the method is distorted. .

He doesn't understand that to love someone is to fulfill him, to grow together, to sprout together.

Companionship of mutual encouragement.

Always have the support behind you.

The greatest spiritual comfort.

each other's soul space.

This is the highest state of loving and being loved. Unfortunately, Sambo doesn't understand it, and neither do I.

Sambo doesn't understand because of his education background, and I don't understand because of my experience.

I am in love, but I don't know how to resist.

If we could have had a good talk at that time, if we had all understood love at that time, would the ending be different.

It's a pity that there is no if. When you meet when you are young, you will meet. Everything that happens is life.

My cousin didn't blame me, but I was very disturbed. Obviously I gave him the computer, and if he said it was gone, it would be gone.The cousin said it was fine, I could see the loneliness on his face, and I thought I would buy him another one if I had more money.

Wu Le is back, this is the happiest thing for me, Sambo began to attack Wu Le more and more obviously, I knew he wanted to isolate me from all social interactions, and he did it.Sanbao and Wu Le finally broke up completely in a big quarrel.Sanbao did it on purpose, but Wu Le was mad at me for helping Sanbao in a daze. I chose Sanbao, and I also chose to betray my friendship.

My relationship with Wu Le is not good.

The bad thing is that no matter what happens between me and Sanbao, Wu Le always looks like he is not interested, and never mentions that we should break up, and never mentions whether Sanbao is right, he knows that it is useless to say it, and I have completely fallen Become a slave of love, if you have to add a master to this slave, it is three treasures.

I love thoroughly, right from wrong.

After school started, my mother called me for tuition fees and asked me if I wanted to pay for living expenses. I pretended to laugh on the phone: "Oh, you don't believe your son, I have a part-time job outside, and I live self-sufficiently. Don't worry, don't worry about it. Transfer the money to me."

I don't know what kind of mentality I was at that time. I was afraid that my mother would know that my life was not good. Every time I called, I would say yes and not let him worry. This may be my last pride.

My mother asked me about Sanbao again, and I said I would think about it.

Sambo is going out of town again, and he has no money. This is the biggest problem for both of us.A friend of Sanbao took over a situation and asked him to help out. Apart from treating me badly, Sanbao still has the ability to work, as we all know.

Without travel expenses, Sanbao sold my bracelet, which was bought for me by my grandma, platinum, more than 4000 yuan, without any pattern, and a round one, which looks really good on my hand.

I was used to the daily companionship of this bracelet, but when it suddenly disappeared, I was inevitably lonely.Sanbao saw the significance of this bracelet to me, and vowed to tell me frankly that if he made money there, he would definitely buy me a new one, which was exactly the same.

I reluctantly agreed.believe him.

Sambo left. We had a quarrel the night before we parted. I don’t remember why. I just remember that he didn’t let me see him off the next morning. He went to the train station alone with his luggage. How dare he take a plane at that time? Ah, so expensive.

I lay in bed thinking about it for a long time, and decided to give it away. Sambo at the waiting station was standing in front of a chair to read the bus information. When he looked up and saw me, his eyes lit up obviously. He couldn't hide his joy, showing his long-lost With a happy smile, he accepted me at that moment. In the turbulent waiting room, in front of the real crowd, he and I blended together in a rare way, and our hearts reflected each other.

We are like lovers of first love, bowing their heads and whispering, talking about the ambiguity that others don't know, happiness is by our side.It’s been a long time since we had such a heartless conversation. At this moment, we are equal and love each other. There is no one who imprisons the other, only Sanbao and Tiantian, who frowned in the early morning.

I'm glad I made the decision to send him off bravely. If I hadn't been brave, I wouldn't have found out that Sambo still needs me.

A change of environment might be good for both of us, good thing is equality, good thing is freedom, good thing we both gave up our identities, only the sweet love of first love.

Mood can affect everything, no matter whether it is sunny or rainy, some people say that the sky in Lijiang is the most beautiful, and some people say that the sky in Tibet is the most beautiful, but I say that the most beautiful thing is not the city, but the person who sees the scenery. When your heart is the most beautiful, you can see the dark clouds is the most beautiful.

I suspect that human dopamine can drift. In the obviously noisy waiting room, I felt the slight intoxication of Ten Miles of Peach Blossom, as if the air was filled with pink bubbles, bursting one by one, and blooming one by one.

We couldn't hear anything around us, only each other, as if we were just in love, talking about the temporary parting words, I suspected that Sambo blushed, and I was a little embarrassed, we touched each other's hands secretly, touching like thieves We separated again, looked up at everyone, and found that no one noticed, we lowered our heads and held each other again. This kind of short-term intimacy outside made us secretive and exciting.

We are like two children, hooking from the big finger to the little finger one by one. The skin has its own body temperature, which can be touched and separated. I can trace the outline of his little finger and the slightly raised fingerprints. , with a body temperature of 36 degrees, rubbed over my heart.

The two fingers look like long-lost lovers, touching, talking, and having fun.

If it wasn't for the station, we would have taken off each other's clothes long ago. I don't think I can play anymore, the touch of my fingers is so good, I can't help but think too much, if I keep hooking, I'm afraid I'll stand up on the spot.

I "coughed" and told Sanbao in a low voice, "I can't do it."

Sanbao looked at my crotch, uttered a dirty word, and started to pinch my neck with a smile. I was pinched slightly by him, and I lost my mind. Seeing that there were not many people, I began to pinch me back.

Happiness among men is as simple as that, you pinch me, I pinch you, and soon there will be trouble.

I struggled to buy water for him, but he said no, he didn't bring anything, it's troublesome.

Sambo loves to eat snacks, I know.

The parting train arrived on time, we were reluctant to say goodbye but we also said goodbye happily, we found the long-lost peace of mind, and parted peacefully from each other.

I set foot on the way home, and Sanbao set foot on the car going far away. The distance between us is getting farther and farther, but our hearts are getting closer...