flawed

Chapter 101 You Are Miserable

"Of course men like men, you don't even know that."

"I do not know."

"What do you want to eat?"

The last time Jiang Yu raised his question, Zhang Xiaoqiang changed his mind and did not answer immediately, but asked Jiang Yu to come out on the weekend and tell him slowly.

"casual."

"The money you gave me for the hot pot last time, I will treat you this time." Zhang Xiaoqiang brought Jiang Yu into the best hot pot restaurant in Hongcheng.

The store was steaming and noisy.Normally, Jiang Yu might have a good appetite.But today, he was troubled by those troubles, and at the same time, he also knew that Zhang Xiaoqiang deliberately hung his appetite.But there is no way, at this time he can't just walk away, only this once hated guy in front of him may be able to untie his knot.

Zhang Xiaoqiang handed him the menu: "Order whatever you want."

"I can do it, you order."

Zhang Xiaoqiang picked up the menu and ordered some.After ordering food, the waiter asked him if he wanted drinks.

He asked for two bottles of beer at first, then took a look at Jiang Yu, and then changed his words: "One bottle of beer, one can of Coke. He is still in school, so he is not suitable for drinking."

Seeing Jiang Yu's lack of interest, Zhang Xiaoqiang brought the topic back to his point of interest: "In this world, besides men who like women, there are also men who like men. Besides women who like men, there are also men who like women woman.

"You know, no matter men or women, there are people who like people of the same gender as you. This is called homosexuality." Speaking of something unfamiliar to Jiang Yu, Zhang Xiaoqiang said with a little complacent tone, "Homosexuality, do you know?"

Jiang Yu shook his head.

"You really only know how to study hard, but you don't know anything about it."

"I like... homosexuals of the same gender as me, are there many?"

"Keep your voice down." Zhang Xiaoqiang stretched out a finger and lowered his voice, "One in a hundred, not many, but not too few."

"So you are also one percent?"

"Yes, you can say that." Zhang Xiaoqiang took the cooked dishes to Jiang Yu first, "Why do you ask these?"

Jiang Yu lowered his head, eating slowly and thoughtfully.

"Could it be that you think you're gay too?" Zhang Xiaoqiang couldn't hide the excitement in his tone.

Jiang Yu raised his head, his eyes were clear and a little dazed, looking very ignorant and innocent.

Zhang Xiaoqiang's heart trembled suddenly.

Ever since he was a child, Jiang Yu always showed such an expression from time to time, as if he was weak and pitiful, making people want to get close to him.But when you really get close, you will find that he is actually indifferent and tough, repelling people thousands of miles away, and there is no way to start.However, the more this is the case, the more itchy and unbearable.

Zhang Xiaoqiang reached out his hand towards Jiang Yu's face.

Before touching it, he was waved away: "What are you doing?"

Zhang Xiaoqiang withdrew his hand in embarrassment: "It's nothing."

"Do not touch me."

"I just can't help it..." Seeing the disgust in the other party's eyes, Zhang Xiaoqiang changed his words again, "...no more."

After a while of embarrassment, Jiang Yu asked, "How can I know if I'm gay?"

"The person you like is a man, then you are. Do you have someone you like? Is he a man?"

Jiang Yu didn't speak.

He was thinking, does he like Qi Nuliang so much?

There are many kinds of likings, he undoubtedly likes Qi Nuliang, but does his liking fit Zhang Xiaoqiang's homosexual liking?What kind of feelings does he have for Qi Nuliang?

With the death of his mother, his emotional connection with everyone was severed.The two years of wandering can be said to be an emotional blank period. In addition to the physical hunger and cold, even the emotions are completely numb.It was a kind of self-protection of the brain, which made him not feel painful about the situation at that time subjectively.This kind of numbness is like anesthesia during surgery, which allows people to survive the great pain.

Until Qi Nuliang appeared, they had a connection, he felt warm, those ashes-like emotional experiences gradually recovered, and all of them were projected on Qi Nuliang.

He relies on Qi Nuliang, likes him, cares about him, and cannot live without him.But is this what everyone calls "like" and "love"?Is it the love of a man and a woman?Is it Qi Nuliang's love for his mother?

At such moments, he couldn't figure it out.The complex emotions of human beings, after being simplified by the thinness of language, become inaccurate things.

Seeing Jiang Yu's troubled appearance, Zhang Xiaoqiang couldn't help feeling a little sympathetic. He sighed softly: "It's normal for you to not understand now. Everyone around you likes female classmates. Everyone is looking at which girl is beautiful and has big breasts. And you alone like men, look at the men's chest muscles, and... In short, you will feel that you are a neuropathy."

Zhang Xiaoqiang picked up a glass of beer and drank it down: "So I acted like a fucking psycho in front of you back then. Speaking of which, I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble.

"But if you can like female classmates, you can like female classmates. The road of homosexuality is not easy."

Jiang Yu glanced at Zhang Xiaoqiang, he was only two years older than himself, but when he said this, there was a kind of vicissitudes that did not match his age.

"What is homosexuality like?"

Zhang Xiaoqiang snickered self-mockingly: "What else can I do, it's not just two eyes and one nose." He thought for a while, "You're free today, I'll take you somewhere later."

According to Zhang Xiaoqiang, he had to wait until night to go to that place.In the afternoon, Zhang Xiaoqiang took him to the cinema to pass the time.

At this time, there are very few people in the cinema.Perhaps the first thought was not on the movie, Zhang Xiaoqiang chose a back row position.After the lights were dimmed, it was even more empty in the darkness. It seemed that there were only the two of them in the huge theater.

The characters on the big screen fly into the sky and escape from the ground, and the fighting scenes are very exciting.

Jiang Yu watched the movie and remembered that Qi Nuliang had played with him a lot, but the two of them hadn't watched the movie together yet.Watching it in a movie theater and watching it on TV at home is still a lot of difference.When he comes out, the two must watch a movie together.

His attention was on the movie, while Zhang Xiaoqiang's attention was all on him.I didn't expect to be able to get along with Jiang Yu like this one day, it was like a dream.

"Jiang Yu, if I had read well at that time, would it be possible for us to..."

"No."

"..." The expected answer, but in this situation, he couldn't help it, "I really like you... I don't know why, fuck..."

Jiang Yu didn't respond, only Zhang Xiaoqiang talked to himself irritably.

After a while, he couldn't help asking again: "If you are sure that you are really gay, would you like to try with me? I promise to treat you well, and I will give you whatever you want."

Jiang Yu turned his head blankly: "What do you have?"

"what do you want?"

"You don't have anything I want."

"If I have what you want, will you be nice to me?"

"will not."

Knowing that you will be rejected, but when you are really rejected, you will still be a little hurt.Zhang Xiaoqiang knew that he was not qualified, and Jiang Yu would not answer him, but he still couldn't help asking: "You have someone you like, don't you?

"A man?

"Is it your class?

"Does he not know that you like him?"

Zhang Xiaoqiang suddenly laughed twice: "Then you are miserable, you fell in love with a straight man."

Jiang Yu finally turned to look at him.

"Straight men all like women. The worst thing about being gay is falling in love with straight men. I should have known you too, when I..."

Jiang Yu interrupted his fantasy: "Will straight men never like men?"

"No." Zhang Xiaoqiang said firmly, "If you like women, you will always like women. If you like men, you will always like men. It will not change easily. Think about it, did you have a crush on any female classmates since you were young?"

Jiang Yu didn't speak.

"The biggest taboo for gay men is to like straight men, because no matter what you do, no matter how much you give, the other party will never like you. No matter how much you do, it will be a waste of effort, and only you will suffer."

Hearing this, Jiang Yu's expression moved slightly.

According to this theory, Qi Nuliang only likes women, so he is also a straight man.

"Don't be sad, there are many men who like men, you can just pick one of them, like me..."

Before he finished speaking, Jiang Yu turned his head.

But the plot behind the movie never entered his mind again, and he kept thinking about what Zhang Xiaoqiang said just now-straight men will never be tempted by men.

So is it possible that Qi Nuliang will never be tempted by him?

After watching the movie and having dinner, Zhang Xiaoqiang took him to the place mentioned earlier.

After the autumnal equinox, the sky quickly darkened in the evening, and the temperature dropped a lot.Jiang Yu followed Zhang Xiaoqiang and first took the bus for a few stops.After the bus stopped, he continued to walk all the way to the outskirts of the city.

Pedestrians and street lights are gradually thinning out, Jiang Yu suddenly stopped: "Where are you going to take me?"

Zhang Xiaoqiang turned around: "You'll know when you go. Don't you believe me?"

Jiang Yu didn't speak.

"Then we won't go, let's go back."

"go."

After walking for another ten minutes, this place is already far away from the main city of Hongcheng, and the surrounding area is full of new buildings under development.At night, it is even more deserted and there are very few voices.

Zhang Xiaoqiang took Jiang Yu into a park.

Jiang Yu never knew that there was a park in Hongcheng.It's just that at this time, this season, standing outside the door, there is no one inside, only the shadows of trees, which is gloomy.

"It's more lively in summer, and there are people here all night. Now it's cold, and there will be no one later."

"Is there anyone here?"

"Yes." Zhang Xiaoqiang took off the baseball cap on his head and gave it to Jiang Yu, "Put it on and zip it all the way to cover your face."

"why?"

"You don't want people to know you're gay too, do you? If you don't want to, just do as I say."