Yes or no

Chapter 39 The Middle Past 38

During the summer vacation of her junior year, An Ning rented a small apartment outside, only three stops away from the company where she was doing her internship.The room faces the sun, so the morning in this room starts earlier than others.The curtains only separate people and do not block light, which leads to An Ning always waking up very early.Not needing to get up early to buy meals for An Nannan did save a lot of time, but the extra time is peaceful and there is no place to squander it. On the contrary, I miss the busyness of running around in the cafeteria, dormitory and classrooms in the morning.The best plan for a day is in the morning. The park is not far from the community. At 05:30 in the morning, you can vaguely hear the music of the old people practicing Tai Chi sword, which is soothing and unhurried.Originally, children and the elderly are the least anxious.For children, all directions are ahead, and there is no difference between being anxious or not; elderly people in their 70s and 40s do not want to be in a hurry, because the terminal is ahead, and everyone wants to sit for a while.The hurried people I met on the road were all under [-] years old, rushing to make contributions, thinking about success and fame.For the elderly, fame and money are meaningless, and it is practical to live a few more years in a healthy and comfortable way.

Even though I get up early every day, Anning still has to eat breakfast in a hurry. Pancakes, fruit or soy milk are eaten directly on the way to the subway. Anyway, I am just in my early twenties, and it is normal to be in a hurry every day.When crowded in the crowded and impatient crowd, An Ning was very envious of those slow-moving old people. They lived peacefully to the twilight years of their lives, had endless stories to talk about, and were truly indifferent to any choice or thing.Compared with death, other things are nothing.

An Nannan decides to take the postgraduate entrance examination, spends time in the library from early to late, when she is free, she takes the bus and subway and squeezes into An Ning's small house, cooks delicious food in different ways to reward An Ning, and of course herself.

Seeing her busy in the small kitchen, with the smell of food wafting from the pot, An Ning suddenly realized that this is real life, this kind of ordinary reality is the happiness that An Ning dreams of.Firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea have only been together for a few decades. Compared with time, nothing is difficult.With her there is a beautiful scene in the world, and this small house seems to come alive, with some dust from fireworks.Can really grasp live.

In the past, I always felt that time passed slowly, like a blindfolded donkey circling around the millstone day and night, with no direction and purpose of walking, just walking forward.When it was the last year of university, time suddenly jumped up, racing against the clock to sprint, and still moving forward.Those in a class, those who go abroad, those who take the postgraduate entrance examination, and work, seem to be too busy.The squad leader made a lot of plans to get together several times, but the people were always not neatly organized, and it was fine to come and go.

Ever since I confessed to Liu Huaiyu, I still meet him from time to time, mostly after class, or after the thesis group meeting, we will sit together for a while and chat casually.There are only three or five classes a week, and every time we meet, he greets and chats as usual, which makes An Ning hardly notice the slight change in attitude. It seems that the rainy night between the two of them never happened, and it becomes a tacit understanding between each other. secret.Tranquility always has secrets.

He still spoke seriously in front of An Ning, but he was more cautious when joking.An Nannan's attitude towards Liu Huaiyu has also become more and more relaxed, and if he doesn't meet again, he will argue with him. After three years, he is considered safe.From An Nannan's point of view, if Liu Huaiyu is a little bit better, it is the change he brought to An Ning.An Ning is completely different from before.

"Whoever marries you, I guess the whole family will eat vegetarian food and recite Buddha's kindness from now on. Our family is small, so we don't mind eating vegetarian food and reciting Buddha's name. Why don't you just come to my house..." An Ning leaned against the door, gnawing The fresh apples she brought, she didn't dare to look through the apron, pretending to be careless.

After getting acquainted with An Ning for a long time, An Nannan heard more and more "sweet love words" from her mouth, most of which were influenced by Liu Huaiyu.

Without turning her head, An Nannan said, "Look at what it means, marrying me to eat vegetarian food and recite Buddha's name seems like punishment. I don't want you to be vegetarian every day. I'd better harm other people."The current An Ning is completely different from the freshman's indifferent face who stood on the podium and cherished words like gold.

"I have three days off on October [-]. I'll take you out to play! Do you want to take a vacation too?" An Ning took another bite of the apple, put aside the previous topic, and secretly imagined a play scene.

"You have a date and asked me to be a light bulb." An Nannan turned her head and asked, "Don't eat, I won't be able to eat later."

"It's just the two of us, if you want to be a date." An Ning put down half an apple in response, "Will you go, will you go!" An Nannan didn't agree for a long time. Shaking her arm like a child begging for candy.

An Nannan felt that An Ning must be growing in reverse.Normally, she will become more mature with time and experience, but she is good, but she becomes childish when she gets older.If you don't agree to her, An Ning will pester her all night long.Heh, Liu Huaiyu must have spoiled her.Strange to say, the relationship between An Ning and Liu Huaiyu has always been tepid, closer than friends, and a little less sweet than lovers.Although An Nannan didn't like Liu Huaiyu, she sincerely hoped that An Ning could meet a perfect man, spoil her, love her, and take care of her.

The lights are in full bloom, and the lights in the house can't shut out the light outside the window.The two girls lay on their backs on the bed, with a little space between them for a grown cat.An Nannan persuaded An Ning more than once to get a puppy or a kitten, at least to have a companion.She doesn't listen to what she said, and it's okay to think about it. When An Ning is alone, she must just let it go, and she doesn't take care of herself. How can she have the energy to take care of a little thing? I don't know how she lived for so many years.

An Ning doesn't like pets, and children.Mostly jealousy of the ease with which they receive love and patience.Wanting what you want is the source of jealousy.

An Nannan didn't come to An Ning's place for two weeks.In the fourteen days, apart from instant noodles, there were bland takeaways, and every meal An Ning ate was made up.boring.After only two years of spending time with An Nannan day and night, An Ning felt that it was boring to return to a state of being alone.It was the first time in half a month that An Nannan ate the food cooked by An Nannan's own hands again, and An Ning was exhausted.Lying on the bed, I kept rubbing my belly, trying to feel better.

An Ning listened to An Nannan talking about the exam, as well as new things about the school, such as elementary school students, new teaching assistants, and so on.An Ning was a little dazed for a while, An Nannan's tone of voice, the tone of the smile, the gray sheets they were lying on together, the piles of orange quilts under their feet, and even the colorful things outside the window seemed familiar. The scene seems to have happened.Even though she clearly knew it was impossible, An Ning still felt familiar.An Ning was trapped by a strange feeling and couldn't figure it out.

"Huh...Could it be already..." An Nannan stood up sideways, resting her head on her arms, "Quick, I want to hear the details..."

An Ning was asked vaguely about the details

"Liu Huaiyu, are you already that..., hehehe" An Nannan has experienced several relationships that ended without a cause, and she consciously understands the tricks of love.But the feelings for An Ning are another matter.An Ning, An Ning, who does not eat the fireworks of the world, will she be the same as other girls?

"What this, that." An Ning lay still, and her hand that was rubbing her stomach also stopped.Hearing her excitement, An Ning couldn't do anything anymore.

"Cut...don't pretend, be frank and lenient!" An Nannan knew that Liu Huaiyu would not just ignore An Ning for no reason, and her feelings were behind her back!

An Ning seemed to be angry on purpose, and told her all about the kiss with Liu Huaiyu before, even more embellished.The other party didn't notice the narrator's intentions at all, so naturally he didn't show jealousy.Without the expected results, An Ning no longer has the interest to chat.But An Nannan was in full swing.

"Do you think this is love?" An Nannan's elbow touched An Ning's arm.

An Ning can't tell what love is, whether it is the impulsiveness of dry firewood or the sweetness in the ordinary.But whatever love is, attraction is always a part of love.What An Ning understood was that An Nannan's attractiveness was clearly different from other men and women.In fact, An Ning couldn't express this feeling.But not to say, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

"Then, do you feel happy?" An Nannan continued to ask.

How many people have been tortured by this illusory thing, but people just don't want to have a long memory.There are clear examples in old stories, books, and movies, but people can't learn any valuable and meaningful lessons from them. Instead, they seem to be instigated, and they continue to pursue after another, thinking they are brave and fearless.Stupid human beings.

An Ning groped on the bed sheet, reached for her hand, and held it silently.The other party was still chattering, but suddenly stopped, and forgot what he wanted to say.An Ning hugged her sideways, hugged her shoulders, and her hair poked An Ning's heart itchy.Looking straight at the window, the light outside cast a shadow on all the objects in the room, An Ning didn't dare to look at her expression.An Ning tried her best to convey her heart, and wanted her to receive everything, for fear of misunderstanding.On the other hand, I was worried again.If you are not careful, you will never have the chance to get close to her again.Dreams are as illusory and beautiful, and An Ning must firmly grasp this moment.

An Nannan didn't resist, and leaned obediently on An Ning's chest, listening to An Ning's heartbeat speeding up, like a kettle on the stove.An Ning has been by her side for three years, and she knows what she likes better than herself.Tranquility is almost An Nannan's standard for lovers.Those men are always disappointing and regrettable, but An Ning will not.

"It's not so bright this way, isn't it?" An Ning forcefully explained, but the other party just hummed and stopped talking.

The small room was filled with unseasonable light.An Ning felt happy, even though she was ashamed to say it.

If she was a man, then she must have understood her thoughts early on.An Ning didn't dare to ask herself such a question, and she didn't dare to think deeply about it. Once she picked it up, An Ning felt that she was simply a pervert and even evil.An Nannan is like a cat, she should be loved and cared for without reason.

Liu Huaiyu is willing to give up the world of mortals for a woman, and An Ning is also willing to live well in this world of mortals for a woman.All for the same reason.

Whether it was intentional or not, An Nannan wrapped her arms around An Ning's waist.The random thoughts and pessimism just now were swept away, replaced by panic after the excitement.An Ning was terrified. Deep down in her heart, she knew clearly that this beautiful dream was her own wishful thinking. What was even more frightening was that she was just a pastime for her to relieve boredom.Thinking of this, An Ning couldn't help but feel hatred, but immediately, An Ning uprooted her.Whether she intends to or not, she shouldn't be resentful.Love her, and what does it have to do with her.

How to eliminate negative emotions?According to An Ning's experience, divert attention and ignore it.At the moment it doesn't work.She was in his arms, leaning against his soft chest, embracing An Ning's waist like a cat, the distance was equal to nothing, a real skin-to-skin kiss.An Ning gasped for air, trying to find peace.

Can't be calm.

The flesh is the harp of the wildflowers, the winecup that covers the bones.The physical body stood alone and saw fish and birds.Flesh, apart from other mystical brothers, is the only treasure.The flesh is beautiful.

The author has something to say:

The flesh is the harp of the wildflowers, the winecup that covers the bones.The physical body stood alone and saw fish and birds.Flesh, apart from other mystical brothers, is the only treasure.The flesh is beautiful.

A poem from Haizi.