sinovels Chapter 50 Love Story
Chapter 50 Love Story
When a love story ends, it always exudes a kind of calm misery.
I failed to do what Jun wanted, and I failed to complete my studies at MODA.The reason is that my roommate found me almost in shock when I went back to bed after self-study one day, my left arm was bleeding, and my right hand was holding a blade.This incident alarmed the school, and they forcibly sent me to a mental hospital, and asked my family members to sign me before I could be released from the hospital.Brother Jun had no choice but to call my mother.
After being forced to take sedatives day and night and fell asleep for nearly a week, my mother appeared in front of my eyes.At that time, her eyes were bloodshot, and she was standing at the door staring at me. Brother Jun explained to her, pointing at me and scolding me, telling me to come and see my mother.My mother didn't say a word to me, she just interrupted Brother Jun and asked, how do I get out of the hospital?
What followed was nothing more than buying air tickets, going through hospital discharge procedures, quitting school procedures, and signing endlessly. I often felt like I was dreaming. After a series of ups and downs, I had long forgotten that life was made up of these trivial things.I can’t remember a day after returning to China. I only know that I will always be on my way to the hospital, seeing a doctor, queuing up, and getting medicine.
"Your bullshit medicine doesn't work." One day, I said frankly to the doctor, "You can do me a favor and give me an electric shock."
The price of this sentence was that I was forced to stay in the hospital for another ten days, and I also failed to receive electric shock therapy as I wished.The hospitalization experience is actually not bad. The hospital forms a protective screen, and being in it is no different from dreaming.The hardest thing was that on the day I was discharged from the hospital, when I returned to my life, I found that everything was still muddy.
Strange to say, I thought I used to be a sad and good-tempered person, but now I have become angry and reckless. Others seem to be a little bit broken, but I just feel relaxed, and the tension is finally broken. Don't worry about it either.
There are no people around me who speak ill of me. On the contrary, to express their understanding, people often say things like "it's not your fault" and "it's okay, start over"; I am a victim and want to be convinced that I am a victim.It was hard for me to accept the fact that I left home and went to Beijing alone at the end of the year.
Life in Beijing was not bad, and certainly not good. I made some unnecessary friends and found a job to make ends meet. At the beginning, my mother would come to visit me. Later, when I saw that my condition gradually stabilized, she went to see me. Departed and flew back to Myanmar.Jing Jinhan lives not far from me, and we meet occasionally when we are free.As the days go by, it seems like there is nothing, but only I know that my heart has long been a hole. This kind of life is no torture for me. Every day, people choke their necks and put their feet on their feet. The feeling of suffocation It became stronger day by day, and I slowly pulled away from the state of anger.My mother thought that my condition was stable, but it was not at all. I just gave up struggling and waited quietly for that moment to come.
In the second year, I called Jing Jinhan out for dinner, and while he was eating chicken legs, I told him that I was going to fly to Moscow this Thursday.Before he had time to chew a mouthful of meat, he slipped into his throat, his eyes were red with choking, and his heart was beating. He stared at me, but couldn't say a word.
He came to see me off on Thursday, stood at the security checkpoint and kept staring at me crying. I was irritated by his crying, so I quickly pulled him aside: "Why are you crying like this, I'm not going to die!"
"Who dares to say that!" He scolded violently, "Think about why you came back to China! Your mother will get sick from anger when she finds out!"
"Hey," I coaxed in a low voice, "so don't let my mother know. In case something happens, you know my bank card password anyway..."
He cried out in surprise and rushed to slap my mouth. I laughed and hugged him tightly, and then went to Moscow with a light satchel.
It was already evening when I arrived in Moscow, I left my luggage at the hotel and started to walk around.In fact, I haven't grown much in the past few years, and I rarely have the opportunity to recall those past events. Due to taking medicine and physical distance, I don't have too much emotional fluctuation even when I think of Russia.However, at this moment, when I really set foot on this land, I just feel that every step I take in Moscow makes me tremble with fear.
Passing through the huge campus, passing the bar where he was beaten to death, passing a group of girls standing on the street, he walked into an empty area without knowing it, and when he looked up, it turned out to be Mikhail's car repair shop not far away. , there was a person sitting inside, whose outline I could recognize from ten meters away.
It was midnight at that time, occasionally two or three trucks galloped by on the main road in front of the garage, and the snow-white lights flashed dazzlingly.I stood on this side of the road, looking at the other side silently.
Seeing him still sitting there, I was startled and frightened, and at the same time suddenly had a great deal of contempt for him.He looked too ordinary, his hair was not as yellow as I remembered, and his body lines were not so impressive; his face was still fair, but it was just typical Russian edges and corners-he didn't seem to have that fascinated power at all.
Rather than being frustrated and confused, I was more at a loss, and the hole in my heart was not filled at all but grew bigger—
I looked up at him again, and this time I felt hopeless.A person so ordinary, so confused, so pathetic, but it doesn't stop me from still feeling sorry for him; I think every time I look at him, I fall in love with him again; and I don't love him because of how perfect he is of.
I think what I have always wanted is the simplest things, but I always fall into the most complicated situations; trauma and strength, suffering and hope, patience and responsibility.But this kind of weird, circular, cursed love, I don't want it anymore.
In the distance, a truck was honking its horn and speeding over, like a train. I think the driver was probably drunk and kept pressing the horn, which is quite common in Russia; Take a few steps.The moment I was swallowed by the snow-white light, I suddenly thought of a sentence and murmured: "Really—the dog died!*"
Valentin was late for work that day, so he stayed on for the evening shift.After the apprentices had left, he turned on the green neon light at the door. The light was second-hand and not in good contact.
In the past few years, he has lived an ordinary life, and it is not an exaggeration to say that he is down and out.After the rent of the house in the city was paid, he moved back to his hometown for a while, and naturally quit his job in the city; later he returned to Moscow and started working for Mikhail again.
There is a sick employment relationship between Valentin and Mikhail. The two deeply loathe each other and will never give each other a chance; however, whenever Valentin is in short supply, he will always come to work for Mikhail again Mikhail also hired him again and again, partly because of Valentin's low price, and another important reason was to be able to insult him constantly; Valentin always returned to Mikhail's shop, perhaps because Because he took Mikhail for the worst, this bottoming out reassured him that he didn't have to worry about worse.
Usually at this point, there are almost no passing vehicles on the road outside. In the past two days, I don’t know if it is because of the nearby high-speed road construction, and there are always large trucks coming and going.Originally it was just an ordinary sound of wheels slamming the road, but a sharp brake sound suddenly exploded in my ears, and the piercing sound of tires reverberated in the air for a long time.
Valentin hadn't been to school for a few days in his life, but the sharp brake sound reminded him of "Anna Karenina", which was one of the few times he had seen.It's a bit shameful if you haven't seen it as a Russian.Valentin didn't like Tolstoy, not because he had the ability to appreciate literature, but because he didn't like the superiority of the old aristocratic man's words.He has lived in hardship since he was a child, and he has a deep-rooted aversion to this kind of superiority.
"Martyrdom, silly woman." He thought of Anna lying on the rails and shook his head.
There were faint shouts in the street, and Valentin heard the owner of the shop next door open the shutter door, and rushed into the street screaming.He stood up from behind the table with a bang, his heart pounding, a sense of fear welled up, and then he strode forward, almost breaking open the door of the shop, and the green neon lights were knocked out.
A lorry hits a person.Dark blood was dripping on the ground, the truck driver was on the phone in a panic, the owner of the shop next door turned the man over, half of his bloody face was bright red by the snow-white headlights, and the few people around squatted down look.Valentin also joined in.
However, when Valentin saw that face clearly, he suddenly yelled, and everyone turned their heads in astonishment, and the great pain had already ignited him like a fire; In an instant, his whole body was rolled into a pool of ashes; then, like a young child, he burst into tears uncontrollably with a trembling voice.
*It is the dog that died: from "The Veil".
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