sorry i left

Chapter 9

We are all actors, playing different roles.Under the shining lights, in the passion of the soundtrack, with lines that don't belong to you, you can't cry when you are sad, and you can't laugh when you are happy. The plot of the script has already been arranged for you, so even if you are heartbroken, you have to force your face Laughing, so happy that she squeezed tears to cover up.

Too many things happened today, in the hospital, at home, and now something like this happened again, Han Wei's not-so-stupid head also half-understood.The reason why she stood at the door without saying a word, she just wanted to figure out everything, she couldn't figure out why An Jiayue reacted so strongly when she heard that Qiu Yuqing was at her house, and why did she react so much when she got to Anjia At the door of Yue's bedroom, you will see the expressions of the two of them.In the conversation that happened later, Han Wei almost understood the general idea, but there were still some doubts lingering in her heart.Later, after Qiu Yuqing slapped An Jiayue, she couldn't bear it anymore. She was angry at Qiu Yuqing's attack without warning, because An Jiayue clearly saw it but didn't run away, and even more so. I'm angry that the two of them knew each other three years ago, and I didn't even know it. Standing there is like a superfluous.She wanted to know so much, wanted to care about that person named An Jiayue, but she didn't even know that they had known each other for a long time.

An Jiayue, do you need this?Why are you wrapping your heart so tightly?Am I not treating you well?Um?It's been three years, if you don't count the time in primary school, it's been three years. During these three years, I have tried my best to treat you well, to care for you, protect you, and take care of you. Even my mother, I can't do it wholeheartedly. , am I still unworthy of your trust?Why do you have to keep everyone away thousands of miles away?I know you have low self-esteem, you are introverted, and you dare not overestimate your position in other people's hearts.But, even a block of ice should melt, you can't trust me just once, put all your pressure on me, why are you so tired?Why can't you trust me, what do you want me to do!

Han Wei felt that she was going crazy and was going to be mad by someone, and that "□□" was standing in front of her with a "Five Fingers Mountain" on it, motionless.

Sometimes, love is also a kind of hurt.Cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

Ten minutes later, the two of them had passed 10 minutes since Qiu Yuqing left, and neither of them spoke.

Ten minutes later, Han Wei's gaze suddenly changed, and her eyes fell on the diary that An Jiayue had discarded on the desk with a disapproving attitude. The eyes were no longer the simple anger just now, but In the midst of anger, he added a bit of firmness.Directly bypassing An Jiayue, walked to the table, picked up the diary and flipped through the first page. The owner of the diary did not stop him, and turned a blind eye to Han Wei's actions, still standing there blankly.

For An Jiayue, her most important people already knew everything, and she didn't care that more people would know about her past. Since that was the case, there was no need to continue to hide it.

To Han Wei, An Jiayue was like a puzzle, a very, very, very tricky puzzle.Her past, her past, how many times Han Wei wanted to enter the inner world of this puzzle to spy on everything about her, but was ruthlessly rejected and turned away.She thought that An Jiayue's inferiority complex had just flared up, she hadn't fully understood herself, she didn't know what kind of person Han Wei was, and she was unreliable.Therefore, she thought that as long as she was good to her, took care of her in everything, chatted with her when she was free, and treated her as well as she could, she would definitely walk into this girl's heart.When she understands and believes in herself, she will definitely tell herself everything, good, bad, sad, and sad.At least, Han Wei thought so.However, one year, two years, three years, until now, she only knows that there is one person living in her heart, and she doesn't know anything about the rest.Han Wei felt that she had worked very hard to treat An Jiayue well, but she still couldn't get a trace of trust from her. An Jiayue still chose to bear everything by herself, and was not going to show her sincerity to anyone. show.

If today's series of events hadn't happened, Han Wei would have waited until An Jiayue could let go of her defenses and tell her everything.But no need now, all the truth is in front of her eyes, in the diary in Han Wei's hands, she can know everything about An Jiayue with just a move of her hand, she doesn't have to wait any longer, she doesn't have to be like Waiting blindly like being sentenced to life imprisonment, the final result may not be what she wants.

But, why, after reading a few pages, Han Wei's eyes were red, and after a while, tears came out of her eyes in an orderly manner like broken beads. more and more.Until the last page I wrote, Han Wei had already cried into tears, with tears all over her face, weeping silently, turning her head mechanically, looking at An Jiayue, who was standing upright like a pine and cypress, feeling uncomfortable, sad, Distressed, all kinds of negative emotions were unreservedly displayed in Han Wei's eyes.Now she finally understands, she knows the story from three years ago, she understands what An Jiayue did, and she understands the pain that this girl who is so skinny as if she is malnourished cannot or cannot be expressed in her heart.I'm afraid even an adult or a boy can't do these things in the notebook. How did she persist?Moreover, she hasn't said a single word to herself, everything is carried by herself named An Jiayue, she does everything by herself, even if she can't bear it, she will grit her teeth and hold on.

An Jiayue, you can be cowardly, really, no one will blame you, because what you have done is good enough.

So good, no one else can be as good as you.

"An Jiayue, can you cry a bit?" A slightly hoarse female voice sounded in the room, causing the listener's body to tremble, but he didn't make any expression, and still stood there motionless.

In fact, sometimes, you don't have to be brave, you don't have to lie, people who know you will naturally know your original appearance.

An Jiayue did not expect such a scene.She thought that her feelings for Qiu Yuqing were a taboo, a mistake, and would not be recognized by others.She thought that after Han Wei read her diary, she would throw it on the ground in disdain, and then call herself a pervert and a piece of shit. According to her fiery personality and temper, adding some action movies didn't violate the harmony at all. feel.Then she would walk out of the room and tell the whole world what kind of person An Jiayue was, what stupid things she had done, and finally she was slapped and slapped at home like she had lost her soul. Ridiculous, how ridiculous.This was one of the reasons why An Jiayue kept her head down and didn't dare to look at her, and it was also the reason why her body trembled after hearing what Han Wei said to her.Although An Jiayue still lowered her head, she had already imagined Han Wei's appearance in her heart.She herself couldn't believe it. After reading the diary, Han Wei not only didn't mean to satirize her, but made such a cynical person cry, and said such a sad sentence to herself.

An Jiayue is not a piece of wood without feelings. In the past few years, Han Wei has treated her well and cared for her all in her eyes and in her heart.She also knew that Han Wei had always wanted to know about her past, and wanted to hear it from her.Before that, how many times did An Jiayue want to tell Han Wei that she didn't need to be so kind to herself, that she wasn't that fragile.Besides, since she was sensible, she was used to this kind of life where no one cares about her, and she couldn't adapt to the sudden emergence of a person who cared for her in every possible way.But every time the words came to her lips, seeing Han Wei's heartless smiling face, she couldn't bear to say it out. After this, it would be three years.In three years, An Jiayue has already moved Han Wei from the position of ordinary friends to the "key area".However, it is still difficult for an introverted person like her who is used to loneliness to show all her scars to another person, even a person who has been very good to her for a long time.

Hey, Han Wei, it's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that I seem to wrap my heart so tightly that I can't even go in, go in and see what I think.

A few minutes after Han Wei finished speaking, the other party did something that she couldn't even think of.

An Jiayue actually knelt upright in front of her, in front of Han Wei.

"You, what are you doing?" Han Wei obviously didn't expect the sudden move of the other party, and even forgot to help the person in front of her.

"She didn't see it." A voice even hoarse than Han Wei spread in the room, making the latter a little puzzled, and could only look at the person kneeling in front of him with puzzled eyes.

As if feeling Han Wei's ignorance, An Jiayue continued to explain to her.However, her explanation successfully ignited all the anger of the latter.

"When I took the book from her hand, I saw that I had only turned over the first few pages, and I thought she didn't read the rest of it. So, I beg you, don't let her know about the rest of it. " An Jiayue stated these words calmly, without any emotional ups and downs, her head drooped, and she stared at the floor so that she couldn't see Han Wei's anger.

"An Jiayue!" As if suppressed for a long time, a harsh voice sounded next to An Jiayue's ears. Immediately afterwards, her body was lifted up by a force that she could not resist, and her hands held her tightly He was forced to raise his head, looking at Han Wei's dry tears, replaced by an angry face.

She only did these things to Han Wei in the hospital, and now, hehe, it's really a turn of events.

Looking at the other party's eyes as quiet as death, expressionless, and being picked up by herself without struggling, Han Wei's emotions that had been relieved a little were provoked again, and tears fell to the ground uncontrollably.

"Why? As long as you tell her everything behind, she will definitely forgive you. She will know that you are not a betrayer, you have not betrayed her, why do you let others misunderstand you so much!" Han Wei's The voice was trembling out of shape.An Jiayue, you are really stupid if you say you are stupid, does it feel good to let others misunderstand you?No one will appreciate you, you know that?If you don't say anything for the rest of your life, you will be a sinner for the rest of your life in Qiu Yuqing's heart!

That's right, as long as you tell her the truth, all problems will be solved. As long as you tell her, she will definitely understand, and she will definitely understand all the things I have done for her in the future.

However, Han Wei, we can't live in our own world forever, we have to face this realistic society and the indifferent people's hearts after all.And, the fate that no one can change.

"I can't repeat it again and again. I really don't have the qualifications to ask for her forgiveness."

Quiet, it's really quiet, so quiet, I don't know what to do.What can I do to make this room lively, full of laughter, what can I do to make the people in front of Han Wei cheer up and stop being decadent?

Okay, good job, you are not qualified to ask for her forgiveness anymore, An Jiayue, I really admire you, you are really not an ordinary person, because I have never seen such a stupid ordinary person.

"sure?"

"Hmm." Is there anything you can't be sure about?One can let go of anything as long as one no longer wants it.

"Okay, I promise you."

An Jiayue, as I said, as long as it is what you want to do, except for hurting yourself, I will support you.Now that I did it, I hope you can too, without hurting yourself.

"Thank you." Thank you for taking care of me for the past three years, thank you for helping me keep the secret, thank you for appearing by my side, thank you for being willing to stay with me after knowing the difference between me and you, thank you you……

Han Wei was just about to say something, but the person in front of her fainted as if all her strength had been taken away. Han Wei panicked, shaking her body and shouting her name, but that person didn't want to wake up at all. The meaning of coming.

"An Jiayue! An Jiayue! Hey! Damn it!" Seeing that her actions didn't have any effect, Han Wei scolded and ran downstairs with An Jiayue on her back.

We have given our true hearts to those who cannot be hugged, and since then we are only willing to float on the outside when facing others, like wearing a mask.

It was the same hospital, the same ward, and the same two people from the beginning. An Jiayue was lying on the hospital bed, her face was pale, her eyes were closed tightly, and her right hand, which had been hidden by her all this time, was also seen again.Han Wei stood by the bed, her eyes were red, her face was expressionless, she looked straight at An Jiayue, and the doctor's reproach to her was vivid in his memory.

"Are you the patient's friend? What did you do? A nurse came to round the room in the morning and found that the two of you were not there. Even if there is something big, you should finish the drip. What can be better than your own?" The body is more important? You are her friend, why don't you persuade her? Also, I don't know what happened in these few short hours. After my investigation, people tend to be in extreme fear or sadness The extreme stimulation will cause the rapid flow of the heart, and the rapid movement of the heart requires a lot of blood. If it cannot keep up, it will lead to abnormal blood circulation, causing the brain to replenish insufficient blood, and then leading to fainting. I Judging by your age, you should still be students. Didn’t your teacher tell you about it in class? Forget it, your friend pulled out the needle before finishing the drip, so he bleeds a lot on the back of his hand. Now we I have already cleaned her up and replaced her with a new needle, take good care of her here, and don’t run away again.”

This is what Han Wei came to the hospital with An Jiayue on his back, and a fat male doctor told her. When she saw the dried blood on the back of An Jiayue's hand, Han Wei hated her carelessness for the first time.The blood should have been there when the fainted person pulled out the needle, but I didn't notice it all the way, and let Qiu Yuqing slap her so hard, how much pain must she have?

Extremely frightened or sad and stimulated, Han Wei never thought that one day, she would hear such profound and helpless words when she was not good at studying.

An Jiayue, I, Han Wei, have lived in this world for 16 years. This is the first time I have such an urge to wake someone up. You care so much about her that you faint. Why do you continue to lie?If I were you, I wouldn't be as stupid as you, who foolishly pay for others but still bear the infamy, you are with me almost every day, why can't you follow me and learn to be smarter?

"An Jiayue, you bastard."

A tiny mosquito-like sound echoed in the room, vaguely absent.

The real loneliness is in the crowd. When you face many familiar faces and suddenly lose your words, that is the real loneliness. It is as deep as drowning in the blue ocean, unable to breathe.