see you late summer

Chapter 12 I Don't Forgive You, Let's Let It Go.

In the kitchen, Mr. Chi relies on his muscle memory to chop vegetables, and he doesn't think about cooking at all.

He was very happy that Yanyan came to pick him up from get off work, but he could feel the undercurrent of calmness - Xia Chenyan was a little upset.

"Yanyan," asked cautiously on the way home, "Are you unhappy?"

After a long silence, he still told the truth: "I met Yan Zhiyang today."

So he was very considerate and didn't ask again, as usual, even more considerate.

Probably a little jealous, but more distressed.Beautiful jade brilliance, why rub it so hard?

The hug before going to bed this time was longer than usual, and she whispered tenderly into her ear: "Don't be afraid;"

"It's me now."

A goodnight kiss fell on the forehead, soothing a little irritability that was surging.

Three months since the breakup, this was the first time Xia Chenyan dreamed of him.

The beginning of the dream is the scene where the two meet for the first time.

It was only later that he found out that the reason why Yan Zhiyang chased him desperately was entirely a coincidence in the basketball game between the outer court and the School of Economics and Management in his junior year.Mr. Yan, who has always been indomitable among thousands of flowers, was pushed by his teammates. Will he be able to catch up with the most difficult grass in the outer courtyard?

Xia Chenyan has never been in a relationship, not because of his cold nature or self-cleaning, but because the boy who knew his sexual orientation as early as junior high school came out with his family early. His father is a diplomat and his mother is a pianist. Both of them watched Very open, and did not take it too seriously.There are many girls in the outer court, in order to avoid unnecessary trouble, he chose to be a big iceberg who doesn't understand the style.

Strictly speaking, Yan Zhiyang is the first person he likes in so many years.

Probably first love is always used for pain or regret, and the matter of meeting someone who is not good, regardless of gender, is the same in the world.

When Yan Zhiyang chased him, his posture was extremely fierce, and the methods of a playboy were not something that an innocent boy like Xia Chenyan could parry, no matter how firm his will was, how much he knew the truth, and how tempting he was, it was hard to close his eyes and not see him.

No matter how coldly I ignore him, Yan Zhiyang will always come to him with a stern smile and a smile, holding his favorite drama ticket, with a pair of handsome eyes full of peach blossoms: "Don't be angry Xiao Yan, I told your classmate about me. I'm chasing you, let him call your name, let's go, let's go to a drama."

There was also an outburst when he was entangled until he couldn't bear it: "Yan Zhiyang! Can you stop following me! Don't you think it's embarrassing!"

The muddy boy took the white rose he just bought, and took his hand: "Shameless, what face do I want for chasing my wife?"

In the dream, the scene changed to the appearance of the two together.

A youthful young man, Yan Zhiyang hugged the man he had finally chased after, thinking about how to eat him in his stomach before finishing.

Xia Chenyan accidentally found an ambiguous text message in Yan Zhiyang's mobile phone that he hadn't deleted before, and he got angry. The two had a big fight and neither of them would bow down first. It happened that the school organized a teaching support and was going to a very remote mountain village. He reported it in a fit of anger. Named, and when the train left, Yan Zhiyang found out, damn it, his wife has run away.Angry but angry, worried that he would not be able to eat well or sleep well in that poor place, bought a train ticket to that city with a dark face, got off the train and transferred to a bus, and took a small motorcycle after passing the bus station. Where did I suffer so much, I was dizzy and vomited.When he arrived in the village, he was dumbfounded by the small dilapidated classrooms built with adobe houses.Seeing the disheveled Xia Chenyan, let alone get angry, it's too late to feel distressed.

Hugging him in his arms, Xia Chenyan almost couldn't breathe.For a whole month, Mr. Yan accompanied him in the small earthen hut, huddled with a group of children all day, catching chickens and chasing geese.

That was the first time Yan Zhiyang bowed his head to coax others, and it was also in that month that Xia Chenyan was really sure that he would love him with everything.

Unfortunately, everything turned upside down after graduation.

The young man who covered his stomach in the winter night was still lost in the luxury of life, and he had grown into a person who was not indulging in sensuality.

After graduating, Yan Zhiyang took over his father's company, and was always called out for every word he said. In order for the two of them to have overlapping jobs, Xia Chenyan chose to join a large foreign company.

At that time, the two had been together for almost a year, and the relationship gradually stabilized and became flat. If Yan Zhiyang was willing to live an honest life without being teased by others, he would definitely have a love that others would envy.

But he didn't.

The colorful entertainment, Miaoman's fresh curiosity dazzled him, and the lover he had been chasing crazily gradually turned from a flower in his palm to a tasteless tasteless rib.

So when did the disappointment start?

Is it the words that gradually become perfunctory, the expression of carelessness when we are together, more and more reasons and excuses, the whereabouts that cannot be explained clearly, and the mobile phone that has changed the screensaver and password?

Yan Zhiyang relapsed, but he chose to turn a blind eye.

When did you first wake up?

Probably picked up a drunk man in a drinking party as usual, did not see anyone in the private room, but heard a conversation between him and his friend in the toilet:

"Mr. Yan, I heard that you have someone by your side, and you chased him after a bet? What? Are you not tired yet?"

At the door of the toilet, Xia Chenyan clenched his fists.

"Tsk, I've caught up, so let's do this first, and then change after playing enough."

The blizzard of the wilderness swept across his body, his lips trembled and his teeth were cold.Stumbled out of the club, but bumped into Chi Lin who came to talk at the door.

Fate likes to joke so much, when Yan Zhiyang said this, he never thought that he would be heard by himself, Xia Chenyan didn't know that the person he bumped into was the best destination for the rest of his life.

And Chi Lin was extremely thankful that he helped Xia Chenyan that day, in exchange for a little chance of meeting happiness.

Yan Zhiyang turned the gears of this fate, and everything was moving forward quietly.

Chi Lin sent him home and sat on the sofa, unable to judge whether what Yan Zhiyang said was true or not.The man who waited until midnight to come home reeked of alcohol and fell unconscious on the bed.

Same bed, different dreams, probably so.

It's not that I didn't give exaggerated words a chance, it's not that I didn't comfort myself and forbear again and again.A strange text message finally pierced the fig leaf of self-deception. He followed the address and found the villa. The group feasted and had a carnival. Yan Zhiyang hugged a little boy. Xia Chen watched them enter the room. The place is ambiguous and dark, and there is this unforgettable first love.

And he is still having fun in the bitterness, at least he knows he will come back, so there is still room for maneuver?It's just that when he turned on the light and was about to change Yan Zhiyang's clothes, the reality was never a good person.

There was a bright red hickey imprinted on the neck, dazzling and disgusting.

From cinnabar moles to mosquito blood, it is only more than 1000 day and night migrations.

From the perspective of the third person in the dream, he doesn't remember how he collapsed and became decadent, from unbelievable to ashamed, for three whole months, Yan Zhiyang didn't notice his abnormality, even though he went to work normally, but only his skin was left. The ashes fall in the sky, the sun cannot shine into the ice cellar of the soul, and his world is snowing heavily.

There is only Chi Lin who has never expressed his love by his side, guarding him, waiting for him to wake up.

Feelings are a self-defeating prisoner's dilemma, unless self-salvation, outsiders are helpless.

Xia Chenyan let go.

The final farewell to the depths of love is to bury all the indignities, find a dull weekend, and leave quietly.

Yan Zhiyang regretted it.

Xia Chenyan looked at him no longer with tenderness in his eyes, such a beautiful and innocent life was killed by his own hands for three years, and it was he who gave him the opportunity to push Chi Lin to Xia Chenyan.

How wonderful it would be if life were just as it was at first sight.

It's just that rotten food can no longer be eaten, and people who have expired don't need it anymore.

When he woke up from the dream, he couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy, and it took him a while to realize that he had already broken up with him.

I opened the curtains and sat by the bed, the moonlight was so clear outside the window, I woke up feeling a bit dazed, and looked at the past as a bystander in my dream, after all, there was no sadness or pain, and no resentment And unwilling, only true and thorough.

Yan Zhiyang, I am serious, I let you go.

The good and bad, pain and sin, lies and deceit, ambiguity and falsehood of these years.

I don't forgive you, let's just leave it at that.

Chi Lin tossed and turned and didn't want to sleep at all. Hearing the movement, he hurriedly opened the bedroom door, and saw this scene: Yanyan was sitting on the bed in pajamas, with a confused and relieved expression, immersed in it, and didn't notice that he had entered the door at all.

"Yanyan, are you having a nightmare?"

"Ah, no, yes, it was a dream." Xia Chenyan apologized slightly as if waking up from a dream: "Did I disturb you?"

"No, I heard it when I got up and went to the toilet." Chi Lin stuffed him into the quilt and twisted the quilt: "There is milk in the refrigerator, I'll go and heat you a cup."

Seeing him rushing to the kitchen, he swallowed back the words that don't bother him.

He heated the milk in a microwave, added a spoonful of honey, and brought it to Xia Chenyan's bed: "I have to finish it, I'll sleep better after drinking it."

All in one drink.

With white milk froth on his mouth, Chi Lin's throat moved, and he quickly rolled his eyes: "Go to sleep, if you still feel uncomfortable and can't sleep, call me."

He picked up the cup and got up to leave, but someone grabbed his wrist.The force was very light, but Chi Lin felt unable to break free.

"It's late, the cups can be washed tomorrow;" Xia Chenyan's paper-thin face was burning hot: "The bed is big enough, do you want to sleep here?"

of course yes.

Chi Lin is like a young boy who has just tasted love, he doesn't dare to go too far for fear of offending his sweetheart, he just holds Xia Chenyan's hand, he is so nervous that he doesn't dare to breathe, and only dares to look closer when his breathing is stable.

With eyes as gentle as water, the boat carrying the sky full of stars, the lake is rippling and clear.

The coir raincoat passenger boat finally got the returnee who wanted to ferry him.