paranoid dependence

Chapter 47 Acting

Shen Nian had to go back to study by himself at night, so even though it was rare for Shen Chongshan to come back, Shen Nian and Gu Zhi still had to go back to the rental house. Before leaving, Shen Chongshan, who had stayed in the room all afternoon, came out to see them to the door with a normal expression on his face Unnatural, but the look in Shen Nian and Gu Zhi's eyes is not the same as before.

He didn't decide what they had, but was clearly worried about what they had.

Such eyes made Shen Nian very uncomfortable, as long as he met his eyes, he would subconsciously think of his speculation about the relationship between himself and Gu Zhi.

Shen Nian was very uncomfortable and disgusted.

For the first time in these years, he was so disgusted with one thing.

He didn't even want to talk to Shen Chongshan, but Shen Nian still spoke, there was no particular reason, he just didn't want to make the atmosphere between himself and Shen Chongshan too obvious, he didn't want Gu Zhi to take it too seriously, so he whitewashed the peace, Pretend everything is fine:

"Tell us when you run a sports car again, a person should also pay attention to his body."

Shen Chongshan nodded with a smile: "Dad will, and you will be fine too."

Shen Nian responded, retracted his gaze, and almost subconsciously wanted to grab Gu Zhi's waist. He had done this action hundreds of times in the past two years, but this time Shen Nian hesitated.

He really disliked Shen Chongshan's conjectures, but he couldn't deny that those words had some influence on him, and his usual natural movements began to seem to be hindered, especially in front of Shen Chongshan, for fear that he would doubt anything.

They are frank and frank, but hide their positions in other people's guesses.

Gu Zhi seemed to be waiting for Shen Nian to hug him, before turning around to look at him, Shen Nian noticed his gaze and pretended to adjust the position of the schoolbag, then hugged him like before, he could feel Shen Chongshan With this movement, Shen Nian's eyes shifted to his hands, but Shen Nian didn't care, and he couldn't care, he couldn't let Gu Zhi notice anything, so he patted Gu Zhi's waist as before, and said:

"gone."

Gu Zhi said 'OK' and rode the bike out. Shen Chongshan stood at the door and told them: "Don't ride too fast, pay attention to safety."

But no one answered him.

Today's temperature is very high, but it's not uncomfortable to be blown by the wind, Gu Zhi rides the bicycle fast and steady, Shen Nian temporarily puts aside those unpleasant feelings in the sunshine and wind.

After returning to the rental house, Gu Zhi started to tidy up the room. Although he hadn't come back for three or four days, Gu Zhi knew that Shen Nian was a bit of a clean freak, and the sheets he hadn't slept in for a few days were To replace it with a new one, the desk also needs to be wiped.

Gu Zhi has no obsession with cleanliness, but he is willing to live according to Shen Nian's preferences and take care of him.

Even if he is the youngest of the two.

Shen Nian also helped, and the two quickly tidied up the room. When tidying up Gu Zhi's bed, Gu Zhi easily put his pillow and quilt on Shen Nian's bed, and did not move away after tidying up. :

"Sleeping with you at noon is so comfortable, I will sleep with you tonight."

There are two single beds in the room, but they have squeezed into one bed quite a few times in the past six months, Gu Zhi's request can almost be called common, and Shen Nian should smile as before and say: "casual."

But this time Shen Nian didn't say anything, to be precise, he hesitated before opening his mouth.

Shen Nian felt the power of Shen Chongshan's words in the gap of silence.

He may not have said those words to himself clearly enough, but it was enough for Shen Nian to understand what he meant, and it was enough to plant an uncomfortable seed in his heart. Every time he and Gu Zhi were intimate, he raised Shen Chongshan's doubts in front of him.

It's one thing for them to be innocent, it's another to be disgusted by those suspicions.

No one wants to live in nausea, so even if there are some things to do, Shen Nian will think about them.

And even if you do, you may not be able to concentrate as before.

Fortunately, when Shen Nian was in a daze, Gu Zhi went to the bathroom and stuffed the sheets into the washing machine. He didn't notice anything strange about him, so he came back and sat beside him and asked him, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

Shen Nian thought for a few seconds: "Let's make braised noodles."

"Spicy pepper stew? Or scrambled eggs with tomato?"

Shen Nian saw that Gu Zhi didn't speak, Gu Zhi understood and smiled: "Okay, do both."

After saying that, he got up and went to the kitchen, Shen Nian breathed a sigh of relief silently, he didn't know how his acting skills were, but he could clearly feel his exhaustion.

Shen Nian maintained such a tense acting state in front of Gu Zhi for several days, Shen Chongshan's words, the eyes that looked at them weighed on him, and he couldn't even sleep well at night.

Even Shen Nian himself did not expect that this matter would affect him so much and deeply.

After all, he and Gu Zhi didn't sleep in the same bed. The room without air-conditioning in summer is a good excuse. The first day Gu Zhi climbed into Shen Nian's bed, Shen Nian chased him away. Everyone is well.

That night after the two of them turned off the lights, they lay on the bed talking for a while, when Gu Zhi urged Shen Nian to go to bed quickly. No one knows how hard Shen Nian worked after the third year of high school better than Gu Zhi, so he also understands his struggles better. exhausted.

Shen Nian was also really sleepy, but not long after he fell asleep, he dreamed of Shen Chongshan. In the dream, he returned to the day when Grandma Qin was buried. He fell asleep in Gu Zhi's arms after returning home as usual. When he turned his eyes, he saw Shen Chongshan standing by the bed, looking at them with disapproval.

He didn't say a word, but Shen Nian woke up and found that there was no Shen Chongshan standing by the bed, only Gu Zhi who was sitting by the bed and holding his hand.

He was like this every time, he found out that he was having a nightmare earlier than himself, and Shen Nian's suppressed and breathless feeling was better because he was so cared about, and asked him:

"Aren't you sleeping?"

"Can I hug you?" Gu Zhi said, "You're having a nightmare."

Shen Nian wanted to nod and say yes, he used to do this all the time, but this time he hesitated and remembered Shen Chongshan's words, but in the end he still nodded: "Okay."

Gu Zhi laughed, took off his shoes and got on the bed, Shen Nian moved inside, turned sideways and left his back to Gu Zhi.

Like that day, they hugged each other like Shen Nian's dream just now. It was really a little hot, but the heat made people feel comfortable and at ease.

The moon is very bright tonight, and the moonlight sneaked in through the curtains and kissed the two of them mischievously.

"What did you dream about?" Gu Zhi asked him softly.

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds: "I dreamed about Grandma Qin."

Gu Zhi responded without saying anything, as if he had fallen asleep.

But Shen Nian still couldn't fall asleep, he looked at the moonlight on the wall and was silent for a while, then his thoughts returned to him and Gu Zhi.

He realized that he couldn't go on like this. The college entrance examination will be in less than two months. Even if it hasn't affected him, there is no guarantee that it will not be affected if this goes on. Shen Chongshan dumped him despite his upcoming college entrance examination It was a big problem, but Shen Nian didn't dare to joke about his future.

He has worked so hard for so long and just wants to leave.

Those questions that he felt disgusted and avoided when he thought about them, he had to think clearly and thoroughly, and he couldn't let this matter bother him anymore.

If you continue to bother, maybe even Gu Zhi will be affected.He wasn't even sure if Gu Zhi had already seen something.

In fact, he still didn't want to understand why Shen Chongshan had such an idea, would a normal person have such an idea?

It's not been a day or two since he and Gu Zhi got along like this. They also held hands and hugged in front of everyone. The people around, including Liang Qiu, who knew them best, didn't think it was abnormal, and Shen Nian didn't look at it either. No one except Shen Chongshan looked at him with such eyes.

Only Shen Chongshan felt that it was inappropriate, but what was inappropriate about the relationship between him and Gu Zhi?Perhaps it is true that they are closer than other good brothers and friends, but they are a strange combination that accompany each other. Whoever is cold leans on the other person for warmth, and whoever needs it lends his arms to the other person. Hugging and holding hands is just a way for them to comfort and treat, is that okay too?

It's okay, even if it's different from others, but they are two abnormal people, aren't they?

If they could be like everyone else, maybe they wouldn't have to.

As for love, how is it possible?Although he is about to become an adult, he has never thought about it, not before, not now, and there is a high probability that he will never have it in the future. He has never thought about starting a family. He is already afraid of being riddled with holes. home now.

It was even worse for Gu Zhi, how old is he? 15 years old, not to mention whether it is the first love, just because of his temperament, it is impossible for him to be a person who can fall in love. He doesn't even want to have contact with others, so how can he fall in love with so-called, even if he has any thoughts, He will also tell himself frankly.

That's what Gu Zhi would do.

He never said it because he never thought about this matter, just like Shen Nian.

The two of them may not like anyone or form a family with anyone in this life.

They don't even like girls, let alone boys, like the same sex, which is simply a fantasy.

so funny.

Thinking of this, Shen Nian breathed a sigh of relief, there is no problem between him and Gu Zhi, they are just two people who keep each other warm, at best they have a different way of getting along with others, but why should they be the same?They were originally two people who were different from others.

As for why Shen Chongshan thinks this way, and what he will think in the future, whatever he wants is fine.It is impossible for him to influence Shen Chongshan's thoughts, but he can be sure of his own.

He and Gu Zhi are not in love, nor can they be in love.

Neither he nor Gu Zhi had such an idea.

They are indeed close, but this is their mode of getting along, and they are also suitable for this mode. They are just used to giving each other a hug when they are sad, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Shen Nian thought about it, and his mood relaxed, sleepiness slowly swept up, he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep, but he didn't realize that Gu Zhi behind him opened his eyes after he fell asleep, the eyes in those eyes All repressed dissatisfaction.

He knew that Shen Nian was lying, he knew that Shen Nian had something on his mind, he even knew that Shen Nian had been deliberately avoiding his intimacy these days.

He knew it all, but he didn't know why.

Repressed and don't ask, Shen Nian's state doesn't seem to be very good, he can't sleep well, if he still insists on not talking, will it become a new pressure for him.

He is about to pass the college entrance examination.

No matter how crazy Gu Zhi was, he would not dare to do this at this time.

But Shen Chongshan dared to do things that even Gu Zhi, a little lunatic, dared to tell him those things that affected him regardless of Shen Nian's exam.

Maybe he should ask Shen Chongshan.

After all the problem arises from there.