paranoid dependence

Chapter 46 Absurd

Shen Nian is about to become an adult, and standing in front of Shen Chongshan is about the same height, Shen Chongshan no longer regards him as a child.

Even though Gu Zhi was only 15 years old, his height was almost equal to that of Shen Nian.

Under such a premise, it is wrong to see two people hugging and sleeping together. Shen Chongshan has never seen two teenagers who are so close at this age.

They even sleep together and hug each other.

For a moment he wanted to speak, or make a little noise to wake them up, to separate.But thinking of Grandma Qin being buried, Shen Nian was in a bad mood, so she dismissed the thought, sighed silently, turned around and left with complicated emotions.

Ever since Grandma Qin left, Shen Nian has hardly had a good night's sleep. He didn't seem obviously sad, but his insomnia became more and more serious. The sleep in Gu Zhi's arms near noon made it rare for Shen Nian to have no dreams. I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, my spirit and mood were relieved a lot.

Gu Zhi was still hugging him, the two of them didn't even change their posture, they were tightly clinging to each other, when Shen Nian turned to look at him, he realized that Gu Zhi was awake, and smiled:

"Are you awake or not asleep?"

"Wake up." Gu Zhi rubbed his neck again: "It's so comfortable to sleep with Nian Nian."

Gu Zhi's hair rubbed against Shen Nian, as if a fox was acting coquettishly on his neck, Shen Nian didn't stop him, and let him rub for a while before patting his head: "Okay, I'm going to the bathroom."

Gu Zhi muttered something dissatisfied, but Shen Nian didn't hear it clearly, but he didn't ask. After a few seconds, Gu Zhi reluctantly let him go.

Shen Nian got out of bed and tidied up his clothes, but Gu Zhi lay lazily on the bed, turned over and lay on the spot where Shen Nian had been lying just now, buried his face in the pillow and squinted at him: "Nian Nian It smells good."

Shen Nian gave him a funny look, and walked away.

After coming out of the bathroom, Shen Nian heard voices coming from the Westinghouse kitchen, so he didn't go back to the room, but took a look inside when he passed by, Gu Zhi was still in the same posture before he left, but seemed to have fallen asleep again.The footsteps of Shen Nian's leaving were a little softer, and he left the north room.

In the kitchen, Shen Chongshan was sitting at the dining table choosing beans, but he didn't know what he was thinking, and he looked distracted.

Shen Nian was full of sleep and was in good spirits. He was ready to help when he had nothing to do. The sound of footsteps disturbed Shen Chongshan. He turned his head and looked over, almost subconsciously thinking of the picture he saw not long ago.

"Dad." Shen Nian walked over and sat next to Shen Chongshan, picked up the beans on the table and chose with Shen Chongshan.

Shen Chongshan looked at Shen Nian blankly as if he didn't hear it. He felt that he should have something to say, but he stayed in the kitchen and thought about it all morning, but he never thought about what to say. How to open this mouth.

Many years ago, he was at a loss when facing his own affairs, and now, many years later, he is even more so about his son.

He wasn't worried about what was going on between Gu Zhi and Shen Nian, even Shen Chongshan could tell their frankness, they had nothing to do, but not now, what about in the future?

Shen Chongshan was also worried about what would happen in the future.

Shen Nian noticed that Shen Chongshan was a bit different from before. When he saw him coming to help before, he always said no, and when he saw that he insisted, he would chat with him with a smile. It won't be like today, looking at myself as if I have something to say, but I dare not say it.

"Dad." Shen Nian called out again: "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh." Shen Chongshan came back to his senses and responded, and smiled almost in a panic: "It's okay, it's okay."

As he spoke, he turned his eyes away and didn't look at Shen Nian again. Even though Shen Nian felt strange, he didn't ask any more questions, he didn't have the habit of asking the bottom line.

But Shen Nian didn't ask, Shen Chongshan opened his mouth after being silent for a while: "Are you in a better mood? I saw you shaking when your grandma Qin was buried in the morning."

Mentioning Grandma Qin, Shen Nian's mood inevitably dropped a bit, but thinking of what Gu Zhi said to him, Shen Nian felt that it was okay. There are indeed many partings to go through in this world, but fortunately he has A stubbornness that will never leave itself.

"Accept it slowly." Shen Nian said, "Perhaps it will be fine after a long time."

Shen Chongshan responded: "Grandma Qin has liked you since she was a child, not to mention Jianjiaxiang, and even the entire village in the city has no child who loves her more than you. You and your Grandma Qin are really destined. "

Thinking of those little things of being loved, Shen Nian's heart softened, and she nodded: "Yes."

"Your grandparents left early, and there is no such thing as a second-generation kiss. Fortunately, you have your grandma Qin." Shen Chongshan smiled silently for a few seconds: "It can be regarded as making up for some regrets."

Shen Nian raised his head and glanced at Shen Chongshan, he didn't say anything, he didn't know if it was his own illusion, he always felt that what Shen Chongshan wanted to tell him was not these things, not about Grandma Qin.

When Chen Nian chose the beans and took them to wash under the faucet, Shen Chongshan also came over, took a head of garlic and peeled it beside him, and asked casually:

"Where's Xiao Zhi? Still sleeping?"

"En." Shen Nian responded lightly: "Let him sleep for a while, he hasn't slept well in the past two days."

Shen Nian did not lie about this, if it is said that Shen Nian suffered from insomnia and loneliness these two days because of Grandma Qin's affairs, Gu Zhi could only be worse than himself, but it was not because of Grandma Qin's death, but because of himself.

When he was suffering from insomnia, Gu Zhi was afraid that he would be thinking wildly and would not fall asleep with him. When he woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and opened his eyes, Gu Zhi was already comforting himself softly. He carefully took care of every trace of Shen Nian's emotions, For this reason, it seems that I have not slept at all.

But it was also because of Gu Zhi that Shen Nian didn't fall into an emotional dead end and couldn't get out, so he accepted such a sad thing so quickly.

He was supported by someone behind him, so he didn't fall.

This is the down-to-earth Shen Nian said at the beginning.Gu Zhi gave him this kind of steadfastness.

No one understands Shen Nian's sadness over Grandma Qin's death better than Gu Zhi, but no one understands better than Shen Nian that Gu Zhi is an antidote to his grief.

Maybe even he has to admit that Gu Zhi is more important to him than he is to Gu Zhi.

"If you haven't slept well, you should sleep well. You can sleep more comfortably when you go back to your own bed. How old are you all? Are you over 1.7 meters tall now? Xiaozhi is about the same size. The two older children sleep together , the bed is too small."

"Dad saw it?" Shen Nian asked indifferently: "We don't do this often, Gu Zhi just felt that I was in a bad mood today, so he comforted me."

"That's not too good." Shen Chongshan smiled, trying to speak casually: "I haven't seen any two young men like you."

Because Shen Chongshan said 'not very good', Shen Nian paused while washing the vegetables, and looked at Shen Chongshan.

If it wasn't for Shen Chongshan's eyes dodging when he looked over, if it wasn't for his obviously abnormal expression, Shen Nian might not have thought too much, and he wouldn't have thought too much at all.

He and Gu Zhi just hugged each other and slept on the same bed, this happens between them often, it's not a big deal.When he was in a bad mood, Gu Zhi hugged him to comfort him, when it rained and thundered, Shen Nian hugged Gu Zhi and told him not to be afraid.

This is normal for them, they depend on each other, trust each other, and entrust each other.

But Shen Chongshan's current expression was undoubtedly telling himself that Shen Chongshan was thinking too much.

What do you want?Shen Nian didn't understand.

Before Shen Nian understood, Shen Chongshan didn't care about his emotions, and asked Shen Nian another question:

"I'm almost 18, I'm going to be an adult soon, does Xiao Nian have a girl he likes in school?"

In a trance, Shen Nian seemed to understand something.

Shen Chongshan is indeed the head of the family in this family, but it may be because he is away from home all the year round, or he believes in Shen Nian's sensibleness, so he almost never asks about his and Gu Zhi's study and life.

Shen Chongshan, who doesn't ask questions about study and life, now asks Shen Nian a very personal question, which doesn't fit Shen Chongshan's personality, and it's hard not to make Shen Nian think too much.

Although Shen Nian was still indifferent to other things in the past two years except in front of Gu Zhi, he didn't miss anything. For example, who in the class had a puppy love, who secretly kissed whom, these rumors Shen Nian had heard Not a lot.

Does Shen Chongshan mean this?Is he doubting himself and Gu Zhi?It should be, otherwise I said before that it is not good for them to hug each other, and now I ask myself if I am in a relationship, it will not be for fun, there is always a connection.

And all that can be thought of when these two questions are connected, other than making Shen Nian feel that Shen Chongshan thinks of himself and Gu Zhi... He didn't continue to think about it. When this thought flooded into his mind, Shen Nian almost subconsciously frowned. , he felt a little disgusted for no reason.

"dad……"

Shen Nian wanted to say something, but Shen Chongshan didn't give him this chance, and said directly:

"It's okay to tell dad, dad won't stop you from falling in love, everyone is young and frivolous, if you have a girl you like, tell dad, I won't get involved, and I will give you more money every month Some living expenses, buy some gifts for girls, boys can't be too stingy."

Shen Nian seemed to be holding back a fire, he hadn't been so angry for a long time, had such clear emotions, subconsciously wanted to say something, but before he could say it, he heard the sound of opening the door from the north room , Gu Zhi probably woke up, without him by his side, he couldn't sleep for too long.

"Dad, you know what Gu Zhi is like." Shen Nian suppressed his emotions and looked at Shen Chongshan: "Don't say this in front of him."

Shen Chongshan stopped the movements in his hands and looked at Shen Nian, but Shen Nian had already lowered his head and continued to wash the beans, as if the conversation just now didn't exist at all, Shen Chongshan opened his mouth to say something, but there were more and more words in his ears. The sound of approaching footsteps and Gu Zhi's 'Nian Nian', he put all the words in his heart and didn't say any more.

Gu Zhi entered the kitchen, saw Shen Nian and smiled, walked over and stood beside him, and asked him with a smile, "What's for lunch?"

"Bean beans." Shen Nian said, "Can't you see it with your eyes?"

Gu Zhi didn't speak, Shen Nian looked at Shen Chongshan for a few seconds and asked, "What did you say?"

Shen Nian helplessly sighed in his heart, he knew that he couldn't hide it from Gu Zhi.

Gu Zhi is really too sensitive, especially to himself, as long as his emotions are slightly wrong, he will be able to find out immediately, which is a good thing, after all, there are people in this world who understand him and care about him so much.But this is also a bad thing, after all it means that he has no secrets from Gu Zhi.

Gu Zhi's tone was somewhat targeted, he subconsciously felt that Shen Chongshan had said something that caused Shen Nian to have emotional ups and downs, and what he disliked the most was Shen Nian because other people had too vivid emotions.

There was some hostility in the eyes looking at Shen Chongshan.

In the past two years, Gu Zhi and Shen Chongshan can indeed get along peacefully, but Shen Nian is his bottom line, and no one can touch this bottom line.The easing of the relationship between him and Shen Chongshan was just Shen Nian's hope.

Shen Chongshan also felt this, but seeing that Gu Zhi hadn't explained anything, Shen Nian opened his mouth, as if he was afraid that he would say something nonsense:

"Tell me something about Grandma Qin's kindness to me when I was a child."

"Then why is Nian Nian angry?"

"I'm not angry." Shen Nian said.

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian for a few seconds: "Nian Nian, do you think I can't see it?"

Of course Shen Nian knew that he could see it, he just didn't want things to get worse.

He looked at Gu Zhi with a helpless expression and tone: "Be obedient."

Gu Zhi stared at Shen Nian for a few seconds, the unhappiness in his eyes gradually faded away, and then turned into a soft smile.

Even though Shen Chongshan had always known that Gu Zhi listened to Shen Nian very much, it was the first time he had seen such an instant change. He watched Gu Zhi push Shen Nian aside in disbelief, and took over with a smile. After Shen Nian's original job, he said:

"I'll wash."

Gu Zhi really didn't seem to want to know what they were talking about just now, and why Shen Nian was angry again.

He never did this when he was by his side and relied on him.Shen Chongshan thought, he had never seen Gu Zhi like this, like a fox whose fur has been smoothed.

Shen Nian moved away from his seat, his mood was a little messed up, and when he saw Shen Chongshan looking at Gu Zhi, his eyes became even more confused. He wanted to find a quiet place to calm down, but he didn't dare to leave. He was worried that only Shen Chongshan and Gu Zhi would be there. Under the circumstances here, Shen Chongshan would ask Gu Zhi what, and was also worried that Gu Zhi would go crazy.

Gu Zhi just listened to his own words and didn't go crazy in front of him, but that didn't mean Gu Zhi wouldn't go crazy.

Sitting at the dining table, Shen Nian looked at Shen Chongshan who had already withdrawn his gaze from Gu Zhi and continued to work at hand, and couldn't understand why Shen Chongshan had such an idea.

The relationship between him and Gu Zhi is indeed getting closer, but shouldn't Shen Chongshan be the one who knows the whole story the most?After all, he knows what Gu Zhi looks like when he is dependent on a single person, doesn't he?

Moreover, two boys...how could they fall in love?

This is ridiculous.

The absurd Shen Nian didn't even dare to think about it.

Because of what happened before, even though Gu Zhi is obedient and doesn't care about it, the atmosphere at the dinner table is still very strange, but Gu Zhi still picks up food for Shen Nian from time to time as if he didn't feel anything. Very rarely, later Gu Zhi stopped forcing him and ate his own.

Shen Chongshan's scrutinizing eyes kept moving between the two of them. Shen Nian could feel it, and of course Gu Zhi also felt it. Shen Nian cared about Gu Zhi and ignored it, but Gu Zhi was not as considerate of the overall situation as Shen Nian. I don't care whether people look at me or not, but I don't want Shen Nian to be looked at by others.

"Uncle Shen." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Chongshan: "What are you looking at? Is there something on Nian Nian and I's face?"

Shen Chongshan didn't expect Gu Zhi to point it out directly, but this is Gu Zhi, so he was not surprised, shook his head in embarrassment, said 'nothing', hurriedly ate two bites of food and left.

There were only two people left in the kitchen, and the atmosphere was somewhat relaxed, but Shen Nian did not completely relax. Gu Zhi's eyes were always on him, and he recruited before Gu Zhi asked. But it wasn't the answer Gu Zhi wanted to hear.

He said, "Brother Zhi, I don't want to say it yet."

Even though Gu Zhi said that he likes Shen Nian to call himself 'Brother Zhi', he still seldom calls, only on special occasions. As for when it is a special occasion, it is probably like now.

Nian Nian had a secret with himself, Gu Zhi certainly didn't like it, but seeing Shen Nian looking at him softly and begging for mercy, Gu Zhi's dislike didn't seem to be very important.

"Will Nian Nian talk to me in the future?" Gu Zhi still wanted to know, he didn't like that there were things about Shen Nian that he didn't know.

"Yes." Shen Nian said, "I will let you know when I figure it out."