messed up

Chapter 19

Xu Baiyu was in a daze for a moment, staring at Pei Yuning blankly as if he hadn't realized it.Pei Yunning was also dumbfounded, and grabbed Xu Baiyu's arm: "You've been very abnormal recently. Did something happen at home?"

Xu Baiyu didn't answer, but felt a little unsteady, so he quickly supported Pei Yuning with his backhand.Pei Yunning quickly pulled him to sit down: "What's the matter?"

It was difficult for Xu Baiyu to speak at this time, and countless details of the previous time with Yu Jing flooded in his mind: thin body, abnormally small appetite, almost "Buddhist" attitude towards career, and even the fact that the person has been The calmness and modesty since then, but in just a short moment, all kinds of situations that were originally unreasonable for a young man who has just turned 30 have found their home.

Xu Baiyu quickly took out his phone, opened the WeChat chat interface with Yu Jing, and scrolled through each item.Since the beginning of this month, I haven't responded to his messages. Counting carefully, there are more than 20 unanswered words.

Xu Shi really thought that he was too busy during this period, and Yu Jing hadn't contacted him since about a week ago.Xu Baiyu couldn't help thinking, how did that person spend these 20 days?

"Hey!" Pei Yuning had quick eyes and quick hands, and quickly grabbed Xu Baiyu's phone before it fell to the ground.It was only then that Xu Baiyu realized that his hands were trembling.

"Let's go." Pei Yuning sighed: "You've always been like this, and it's useless for others to ask you what you don't want to talk about. Let's go eat something first, and you can take it easy."

"No need." Xu Baiyu finally regained his ability to speak.He looked at Pei Yuning, trying to put on a relaxed smile to him: "Brother, you go first, I still have something to deal with."

"I can go away with peace of mind?" Pei Yuning really wanted to beat this ignorant thing, he tried his best to suppress his anger: "Xu Baiyu, to be honest, since I know you, I haven't seen you like this." When you lose your composure. If there is any difficulty..."

"No." Xu Baiyu smiled at him: "Brother, thank you, see you tomorrow."

After seeing off the angry Pei Yuning, Xu Baiyu sat back on the chair: Pei Yuning was right, since the two of them knew each other, it was the first time that Xu Baiyu hated herself so much.It was only at this time that he realized that the so-called heartbreak was not entirely a myth of the ancients.

He thought to himself, how could I be so stupid?

Wrapped in a scarf, Xu Baiyu walked into the howling wind of a winter night.He didn't go home directly, nor did he go to the inpatient building, but went straight to the underground parking lot of the hospital.

Standing at the entrance of the parking lot, Xu Baiyu repeatedly punished himself by cutting himself into pieces.He was very torn in his heart, thinking whether Yu Jing could forgive himself, but at the same time feeling that a person like himself was really not worthy of forgiveness.But just outside of this entanglement, even he himself didn't know when some different feelings arose in his heart. It was regretful and regretful, but also a little unspeakable distressed.

Xu Baiyu didn't feel hungry, and stood there until after eight o'clock in the evening when Yu Jing came from the inpatient building.Yu Jing didn't expect to meet Xu Baiyu at the entrance of the parking lot, and was taken aback when he stopped her.After a while, he regained his composure and saw the person opposite, and asked in great surprise, "Xiao Xu? Why are you here?"

The weather was fine during the day, and there were not many clouds in the sky at night.At this time, there were not many people at the gate of the parking lot, and the moon shone brightly, covering Yu Jing's body.Across the radiant light, Xu Baiyu looked at Yu Jing, seeing the undisguised joy in the other's eyes, he couldn't help it anymore, and rushed over to hug her tightly.

"What's the matter?" Yu Jing was taken aback, and he took a small step back. After a while, she realized that the person in her arms was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Xiao Xu, it's quite cold, don't cry outside." Yu Jing tried to comfort Xu Baiyu who was emotional, patted the other person's back lightly, and whispered in her ear: "Is it because you have been too tired recently? , come to complain to me?"

Xu Baiyu calmed down, and then let go of Yu Jing.He looked into the other person's eyes, and said with all his sincerity, "I'm sorry."

The night was dim, and the moonlight mixed with the lights of the street lamps made the surroundings not all monotonous darkness.In terms of looks, Xu Baiyu was indeed pleasing to the eye.Xu Baiyu and Yu Jing had teased Senior Brother Pei's "style" during the chat before, but the young man in front of him was so handsome that Yu Jing felt that if it wasn't because of his introverted temperament, this person's chances of having an affair would be no less than Pei Yuning's.Yu Jing looked at him quietly in the night, looking at the man's eyes that had not completely shed tears, suddenly felt a bit distressed.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Xu Baiyu asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What?" Yu Jing was confused by his question: "What did I hide from you?"

"Stomach cancer." As soon as Xu Baiyu said the word, he felt a pain like a needle in his heart. He sighed and looked at Yu Jing in frustration: "You had a stomach cancer operation three years ago, why haven't you heard about it?" mentioned?"

As soon as he said this, Jing was stunned, and after a moment of silence, he opened his mouth to explain: "I told Dr. Pei before, and I thought you knew it too."

Xu Baiyu shook his head: "Sorry, I just found out this afternoon."

"It's nothing, really." Yu Jing pretended to smile relaxedly: "I discovered this early, and the treatment was timely. Look at me, haven't I been fine all the time." He suddenly remembered something, and hurriedly added: "By the way, don't miss out in front of my dad."

Xu Baiyu nodded quickly, and suddenly he remembered another thing: "Mr. Yu, my aunt had passed away when you were diagnosed with stomach cancer, and Teacher Yu didn't know about it, so you performed the operation and postoperative treatment all by yourself." Did anyone make it through?"

"No," Yu Jing explained, "I hired a nurse in advance. Besides, it's not that there are no other relatives in the family, so I don't have to carry them all by myself."

Yu Jing originally said this to comfort Xu Baiyu, so that he would not be overly worried, but it turned out that this had exactly the opposite effect.Xu Baiyu knew that Yu Jing had good intentions, but the more this person downplayed it, the more he felt sorry for her.He tried his best to control his emotions, but he couldn't help but choked up when he opened his mouth. He asked knowingly: "Then you told Teacher Yu that you would not come the next day, but you actually came for a review?"

"Yes." Yu Jing looked at him: "I go to stay with him for a while every morning before going to work, and the day of the re-examination is not a weekend, so I have to go to the unit as soon as possible after the examination. I am afraid that he will become suspicious if I can't go to the ward. I didn't come anymore, and lied to him that I was too busy with work."

Hearing this person explain himself to him, Xu Baiyu felt more and more that he was nothing at all.It was only then that he realized that since the two of them met, he had been the one who had been questioning Yu Jing, and Yu Jing had basically never said a word about what he had done these days.

Xu Baiyu felt that he should also tell the truth. He organized his words silently, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt that he didn't know how to say it.He raised his eyes to meet Yu Jing's gentle gaze, looked at the man's eyes full of smiles, and suddenly realized that he didn't need to explain anymore, and Yu Jing had never bothered with him.

"It's getting late, don't you go home yet?" Yu Jing asked with a smile: "Although your home is very close to here, if you want me to deliver it, I will be happy to help."

"No need." Xu Baiyu also smiled: "Mr. Yu, I'm really sorry to delay your time."

"How do you say that?" Yu Jing shook her head: "I'm very happy to see you, let's go."

"Mr. Yu!" Just as Yu Jing walked a few steps, Xu Baiyu suddenly called to him and said something he hadn't seen for a long time: "See you tomorrow."

Yu Jing smiled happily and waved at him: "Xiao Xu, see you tomorrow."

Watching Yu Jing into the underground parking lot, Xu Baiyu realized that he was already very hungry.He walked all the way back and bought some bread from the supermarket downstairs for supper.

Xu Baiyu entered the room and turned on the light, sat on the sofa and took out his mobile phone, typing while eating bread: Mr. Yu, I will be on the night shift tomorrow and I am free the day after tomorrow, can we have dinner together tonight?

Yu Jing was probably still on the way, and she returned to him after a while: Yes, you can come to my house and try my handicrafts.

Xu Baiyu replied "Yes", and flipped through the calendar casually, only to find out that the day after tomorrow is Christmas, and he felt a little excited in an instant.

Then Xu Baiyu laughed at himself: The last time he felt a festival so seriously was when he was with his ex many years ago. Don't want to miss one.As for Xu Baiyu himself, if it wasn't for the holiday, he might not even remember the most important Spring Festival.

Originally, he was going to someone else's house for dinner, and it was just in time for Christmas, so Xu Baiyu felt that he couldn't do it empty-handed no matter what.However, he really doesn't know how to choose gifts. During his break at noon the next day, he went to the shopping mall that he hadn't seen for a long time, but in the end he only settled for a pillow.

Pei Yunning was so busy these days that he hardly touched the ground. It was not until the afternoon of Christmas that he noticed Xu Baiyu's change: this person's happiness was clearly written on his face all day long, and he was completely different from the previous few days.Pei Yuning felt that Xu Baiyu would have laughed out loud if it wasn't for the fact that he had to restrain himself a little while working.

After all, people are in good spirits on happy occasions, and after work this day, Pei Yunning deliberately left for a while: Anyway, he has no one to accompany him, so it's better to gossip with Xu Baiyu to find out what good things happened, and have fun.However, before he could ask a few words, Yu Jing who was standing at the door interrupted their conversation with a smile.

"Xiao Xu," Yu Jing was as gentle as usual, with a smile on her face, "Let's go now?"

Xu Baiyu immediately abandoned Pei Yunning, and asked Yu Jing with a smile: "Is Teacher Yu okay?"

"It's okay." Yu Jing said with a smile: "Two days ago, your director said that he was in good condition during this time."

Pei Yuning stared at the two people dumbfounded, feeling that something was wrong, but he couldn't tell exactly what was wrong, so he could only stare blankly.

However, the following conversation between the two made Pei Yuning even more puzzled. He heard Xu Baiyu say: "I always delay your time with the teacher, and I feel very sorry."

***

thousands of miles

It was a bit late today, because I got up early in the morning, but I didn't expect getting up to be angry. . .It directly leads to being depressed all day. . .