messed up

Chapter 16

"I can't help it." Xu Baiyu said as he walked, "I don't want to do this either, but," he thought carefully for a while, "Those girls are not suitable for me."

Yu Jing smiled helplessly: "Is everything inappropriate? Your vision is a little too high."

"No." Xu Baiyu walked towards the bus stop, and blurted out, "I'm because..."

I like men.

Xu Baiyu stopped abruptly, only then did he realize that he had just almost revealed what he had kept on his mind for many years.He was so frightened that he stood in the cold winter wind and sweated profusely.

Yu Jing on the other end of the phone didn't know why, and then asked, "Because of what?"

"Mr. Yu, the bus from my side is coming, let's not talk about it." But in just a few minutes, Xu Baiyu lied again and hung up the phone quickly.

Xu Baiyu knew that in terms of acquaintance, Yu Jing was obviously not comparable to Pei Yunning, who had been his brother and brother for many years, and in terms of closeness, Yu Jing could not be compared with his grandmother and sister-in-law who were related by blood.But for some reason, when facing those people, Xu Baiyu never had the intention of coming out, but just today, like a crack in a cold pool that had been frozen for a long time, he suddenly had the idea that he no longer wanted to hide it.

He stood under the stop sign and waited for a few minutes. This time the bus really came.Xu Baiyu put in coins, found a seat by the window and sat down, dazed all the way.

Two days later, early in the morning, when Xu Baiyu was about to put on his white coat, Pei Yunning walked over: "Xiao Xu, have you been busy lately?"

"No." Xu Baiyu looked at him, "What's wrong?"

"I've got something to do at home, I'm going to save up my off-duty work." Pei Yuning took a sip from his water glass: "I'm taking turns off this weekend, shall we switch shifts?"

"Okay," Xu Baiyu smiled, "Speaking of which, I just took a break two days ago."

"Sure, then it's settled, let's hand in the application form when we have time." Pei Yuning said and changed her clothes: "I'm going to check the ward first."

Hearing this, Xu Baiyu waved at him.Being able to give him the weekend rotation, Xu Baiyu felt that Pei Yunning really treated him kindly.He thought about it carefully in his heart, thinking that during this period of time, he and Mr. Yu Jing had been in touch with each other by mobile phone, and the occasional meeting was when he went to make rounds to see patients to say hello in a hurry, and he hadn't gone out seriously for a long time.

This weekend.Xu Baiyu thought, Yu Jing was also off duty at that time, should I ask him to go out together?

He thought about this all morning, put down his chopsticks after lunch, opened WeChat and sent Yu Jing a message: Mr. Yu, are you free this weekend?

Yu Jing was probably eating too, and she returned to him after a while: I'm free, what's the matter?

Just as Xu Baiyu was about to reply, Pei Yunning who was sitting opposite suddenly stood up: "Is it snowing?"

Xu Baiyu turned his head and glanced out the window, only to see that the sky was gloomy, and snowflakes were fluttering and falling between the sky and the earth.He quickly lowered his head and wrote in the input box: I am off duty this weekend and want to go for a walk by the lake.After the news was sent out, he felt that he couldn't get enough of it, so he added: It's snowing today. Although there are no lotus flowers in winter, the snow in the garden is very comfortable.

It didn't take long for Yu Jing to reply the message, and it was Xu Baiyu's expected sentence: good.

Xu Baiyu got up early on weekends and waited for Yu Jing at the agreed place at the gate of the park.He came much earlier than the appointed time, so Yu Jing came over after standing and waiting for a while.

The falling snow in Yaocheng can't survive, and it won't take long for it to melt, so Xu Baiyu felt a little disappointed at this time, because there was hardly any snow in the garden.The sky is still cloudy with heavy clouds. Although the snow that fell a few days ago did not stay in people's sight for a long time, it can be regarded as the beginning of the low temperature in the middle of winter.Wrapped in a scarf, Xu Baiyu stood there smiling and looking at Yu Jing who was walking towards him.

Strange to say, although the sky was very cloudy at this time, it was far from windy and snowy.But Xu Baiyu looked at Yu Jing walking this way, but there was only one word left in his heart: through the wind and through the snow.

"Xiao Xu." Yu Jing approached, and patted Xu Baiyu's shoulder with a smile: "Have you been waiting for a long time?"

"It's okay." Xu Baiyu walked in together with him: "By the way, I remember you said before that you studied at the Polytechnic University?"

"Yes," Yu Jing replied, "What's wrong?"

Xu Baiyu smiled and said, "I've never been to Polytechnic University, so there must be a lot of snow in winter, right?"

"Of course, it's still the kind that lasts forever." Yu Jing also smiled: "I have been at the Polytechnic University for six full years, and I remember that every winter there will be a special snow removal vehicle to clean the school road." He recalled carefully: "The coldest time is about minus [-] degrees, and the snow can't melt at all." After hearing Xu Baiyu's description of "walking through the wind and snow", Yu Jing shook her head: "When you really go there, you will know that this is nothing. Good words. I'm not new to walking through snowstorms, it's hard when the wind is against you."

"What does that feel like?" Xu Baiyu continued to ask.

Yu Jing narrowed her eyes, and said with a light smile, "Although the ice and snow look good, it's really cold. It's not suitable to stay outside for a long time. It's more suitable to eat popsicles in a heated dormitory."

With that said, the two walked to the lake.In summer, the lotus flowers are in full bloom in the lake, and there are almost no gaps between the lotus leaves, but now there are only withered and yellow stems standing on the lake.The lotus leaf stalks are reflected in the water, and the reflection in the water is integrated with the dry stalks on the water. It looks like sharp-edged geometric figures to the human eye. Coupled with the well-proportioned layout, it has the abstraction of a modernist artwork. The beauty makes people have to feel the uncanny craftsmanship of nature.

"Actually, I don't blame your family for urging the marriage." Standing by the lake, Yu Jing looked at each other with a smile.He had chatted with Xu Baiyu for a long time before, reckoning that it would not be considered abrupt for him to bring up such a topic now, so he comforted him in a low voice: "After all, you have reached this age and your job has been settled, shouldn't the next step be getting married?" Did you have a baby?"

"You should be too, right?" Xu Baiyu turned to face Yu Jing: "At Mr. Yu's age, many people even have children. The pressure from your seven aunts and eight aunts to urge marriage is probably not small."

To Xu Baiyu's surprise, Yu Jing shook her head.The man smiled bitterly and said, "It's not like they don't know about my situation, so why would they urge me to get married?"

Right.Xu Baiyu knew that old man Yu's condition was gradually getting worse, Yu Jing was under great physical and mental pressure, and getting married and having children was extremely costly and troublesome. If Yu Jing didn't want to, no one would have the position to urge him.

Xu Baiyu looked into the distance for a moment, and wanted to tell Yu Jing to go for a walk, but by coincidence, he turned his head and met Yu Jing's gaze.For a moment, he felt his heart skip a beat, so that he didn't even say the words that were on his lips.

Yu Jing's eyes are indeed beautiful, this is something he has known for a long time.But at this moment, he found that there was not only the gentleness of its owner in these eyes, but also some vitality and hope.Just like the newly sprouted green grass on the hillside in early spring, after the prairie fire, the spring breeze blows and regenerates; it also looks like a small city with warm lights, roaming in it, every move is a human fireworks in the world of mortals.

Xu Baiyu couldn't help thinking, what would those eyes look like ten years ago when they were reflecting the snow at night in the northern border of the motherland?

Yu Jing noticed that Xu Baiyu was in a daze, so she asked with a smile, "Xiao Xu, what's the matter?"

"I'm thinking," Xu Baiyu came back to his senses, "I want to ask a question. I don't know if Mr. Yu will think I'm presumptuous."

"Just ask," Yu Jing replied, "Tell me everything you know."

"Then I asked," Xu Baiyu said with a smile, "How many predecessors did Mr. Yu have?"

Yu Jing really didn't expect him to ask such a private question, so she couldn't help raising her eyebrows, but she still answered truthfully, "Both of you."

Xu Baiyu nodded: "They are all girlfriends?" Xu Baiyu was taken aback when he said this: he felt that he was not fully prepared to come out with Yu Jing, to be exact, he hadn't. Ready to come out to anyone.He didn't want to be honest with others, but at this moment he just said it.I wanted to say in my heart that with that impulsiveness, my tongue, lips and teeth seemed to be just a tool, and I couldn't stop it.

"Yes." Yu Jing looked at him suspiciously: "Xiao Xu, what do you mean by that?"

"Mr. Yu, let me tell you something. This matter is a secret to me, because no one knows about it except my ex." Xu Baiyu looked up at Yu Jing: "My elders, relatives, classmates, Friends, I didn't even tell Senior Brother Pei."

"Then why did you tell me?" Yu Jing stared at him, then shook her head: "I'm afraid I will betray your trust."

Xu Baiyu smiled suddenly: "My own choice, my own decision, I don't want others to let me down." He spoke very slowly, almost saying it word by word: "Actually, it's nothing at all, nothing more than that I like men. "

Xu Baiyu could clearly see a little astonishment in Yu Jing's eyes the moment he said those words.But that was only for a short moment, and the next moment Yu Jing adjusted her glasses and said to him with a smile: "Why is this a secret?"

"Because it would be very troublesome if you tell others in a big way." Xu Baiyu looked at him: "Not everyone can do it, even if they didn't expect it at first, but they are willing to respect other people's different choices."

"Actually, you don't need to have such a lot of pressure." Yu Jing also looked at him, meeting his gaze: "It is not three or forty years ago, at least many people of our generation will not feel that there is anything wrong. "

Xu Baiyu shook his head, he wanted to tell Yu Jing that he was indeed a bit afraid of trouble: the wind and frost in the world are hard to ignore completely.But the words suddenly changed: "What about you? Do you feel bad?"

"What do you think?" At this moment, the cloud gradually cleared, and Yu Jing stood facing him, her smile was as warm as the sun.Xu Baiyu suddenly realized that the answer was already obvious.

"Thank you." Xu Baiyu also smiled, very happy.

***

thousands of miles

The humble author said, I feel sorry for Xiaoxu 1551. . . PS: There will be a little abuse at the beginning of the next chapter, but the abuse will not last long