In front of

Chapter 17

For Shi Kai's sudden words, the only response Pan Xiaozhuo could give was blurting out: "Huh?"

The first reaction in Pan Xiaozhuo's mind was that Shi Kai was joking, but his tone was very serious, and Shi Kai was not someone who would joke about such things.

"Why, why?" Pan Xiaozhuo really didn't understand, and asked Shi Kai stammeringly.

Shi Kai spoke very generously, and replied, "I like you."

"Impossible," Pan Xiaozhuo said with some certainty, frowning slightly, "Why do you like me..."

"Then why do you like me?" Shi Kai asked back.

"That's different," Pan Xiaozhuo felt that it couldn't be compared, "it's completely different."

Shi Kai knew it was over as soon as he heard the tone.

"Are you because of what I just said?" Pan Xiaozhuo even wanted to laugh a little, thinking that this matter was inexplicable, "You don't have to do this, brother Kai."

"I'm afraid you think so." Shi Kai said helplessly, "You just follow my advice."

Pan Xiaozhuo couldn't get over this tendon, and until now he had no sense of substitution for Shi Kai's words, so Pan Xiaozhuo's biggest feeling in Shi Kai's words was "why", and he didn't feel nervous even though he was puzzled.

"Me, if you want to talk about it, I have also talked about it. Junior high school doesn't count, I also talked about it in college. But if you want to talk about love experience, I really don't have much experience. I don't know how others start." Shi Kai put his other hand in his jacket pocket, sitting there feeling a bit at a loss for what to say.

"If you want to say that I like you very much from the very beginning, as if you like me, then it's definitely not." Shi Kai smiled and said, "I didn't lie to you when I said I was straight, I really am."

Pan Xiaozhuo was still in a daze, listening to Shi Kai.

"It may be that we chat like this every day, and I can't do without it. It may also be that talking to you is too comfortable, and you make me feel that you are always there and looking at me. It's not eyes, you Do you know what I mean? I feel like I've been pushed.

"And I can't forget the way you looked at me at that time. When I was a straight man," Shi Kai said with a smile, and continued, "Before I asked you during the Chinese New Year, every time I think of you The look in your eyes feels strange in your heart, and I really want to ask you why you look at me like that. For a while, I can think of it almost every day."

Pan Xiaozhuo began to listen now, and his expression gradually changed from doubt to surprise.

What Shi Kai said was the truth, the beginning of both he and Pan Xiaozhuo came from Pan Xiaozhuo's eyes at that time.It's not that Shi Kai has never been liked by others, nor has he never been confessed to, but Shi Kai was psychologically prepared for any confession in the past.He probably knew what the other party was going to say, and he had already figured out how to say it back.

But Pan Xiaozhuo was in Shi Kai's defenseless state that time.Shi Kai didn't have any psychological defense at all, and Pan Xiaozhuo's calm and tolerant eyes directly hit Shi Kai's eyes.

When being watched by those eyes, even if Pan Xiaozhuo didn't say anything before opening his mouth, the person being watched strongly felt that he was being loved.

"You give me a very different feeling." Shi Kai said, "I've never been with anyone. You make me feel relaxed, and this kind of relaxation is different from when I was with Ji Nanchi and the others. I feel like life has become very... very light."

Pan Xiaozhuo was dumbfounded.

He found every word Shi Kai said unbelievable, unbelievable.But Shi Kai is sincere.

"I really shouldn't say these things today. I wanted to tell you in person. Maybe you can really believe that I'm not joking if you look at me."

Shi Kai paused for a while, then changed his voice: "But I was really angry when I heard what you said today. You still sit down and talk to her. Are you a coward?"

"Such a useless and pitiful person, saying that because I feel that life has become better and it's not that difficult." Shi Kai said, "I feel that I have to say something today."

"Brother Kai..." Pan Xiaozhuo's voice was so low that he was completely confused.

"Hey." Shi Kai responded.

Pan Xiaozhuo frowned slightly, and whispered, "You shouldn't like me."

Shi Kai laughed angrily: "Then what should I do? Find a girlfriend? I like you breaking the law?"

Pan Xiaozhuo remained silent.

Shi Kai asked again: "Will you be my little boyfriend?"

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't answer, but called "Brother Kai" again for a long time.

Shi Kai sighed and said, "All right."

Don't blame Pan Xiaozhuomeng, no one else could react.Things that I didn't dare to think about were suddenly placed in front of my eyes, let alone touch them, and I didn't even dare to look at them.

"Then think about it again?" Shi Kai's voice sounded very gentle, "I was the one who said I was in a hurry."

Shi Kai told him: "Just follow your own heart and don't have to think about it all the time. It's fine if you can figure it out before I go home to find you. It's okay if you don't understand it. Just tell me what you think, it's okay. .”

Pan Xiaozhuo said a lot before, but now he can't say a word.Now Shi Kai is very gentle, Pan Xiaozhuo only feels that his heart is being squeezed, and at the moment when he should be very excited, he feels a little sad.

Shi Kai's impulsive confession came to nothing. He was frozen outside for more than an hour. In the end, Shi Kai didn't eat any rice and came back again.

The colleague who lives with him has already returned and asked Shi Kai what he had eaten.

Shi Kai said he forgot.

Colleagues were all happy: "Forgot? Then why did you go!"

Shi Kai also smiled: "I made a phone call."

"So far?" The colleague looked outside, "It's getting dark."

"It's okay, I'm not very hungry anyway."

Shi Kai took off his coat, tidied up briefly, and after sitting down, he sent a message to Pan Xiaozhuo, asking if he had returned to the dormitory.

Pan Xiaozhuo replied that he had gone back.

Shi Kai told him: Don't worry about it, sleep well at night.

Pan Xiaozhuo: OK.

Shi Kai smiled and sent another message: But you have to think about it in advance and let me know.

Pan Xiaozhuo: Good.

Because Shi Kai didn't take the initiative to find Pan Xiaozhuo for the next two days, for fear of disturbing him.Even though Shi Kai knew that Pan Xiaozhuo liked him so much, Pan Xiaozhuo expressed more than once that he didn't want to be with him.Like and being together are two different things.

Pan Xiaozhuo did not contact Shi Kai as usual.

Shi Kai prepared all the materials needed to go back to the meeting, and took a look at his mobile phone from time to time, but there was no news or phone call.

Colleagues also made fun of him: "Why haven't you called in the past two days? Are you having trouble?"

"It's nothing." Shi Kai said with a smile.

"Then why is no one looking for you?" The colleague pointed at his mobile phone with his chin, "Didn't you always call before?"

"Busy." Shi Kai pretended to be flipping through the materials there, "How can social animals have so much time to make calls."

"You just pretend." The colleague laughed at him, "Going out at night and making such a long phone call, don't let someone quarrel with you?"

"Stop talking about brother," Shi Kai pushed him aside, "I'm busy."

During the two days when Pan Xiaozhuo didn't look for him, Shi Kai looked quite calm, but in fact, he felt vaguely that he was going to be cold.The main reason is that Xiaozhuo's brain circuit is always inconsistent with his, and I'm afraid that after talking over the phone, Pan Xiaozhuo will think about it on his own or think about it.

Xiao Zhuo is actually a very stubborn person, as can be seen from the fact that he has been secretly liking someone for so many years.What he believes is not easy to change. If he decides that Shi Kai shouldn't like him and should find a girlfriend to live a good life, it will be difficult for Shi Kai to change his mind.

However, Pan Xiaozhuo still sent Shi Kai a message before the plane took off.

Zhuo: Brother Kai, are you on the plane today?

Shi Kai originally typed "Yes, boarding the plane soon", then deleted it, and replaced it with a voice, saying with a little smile: "I'm at the airport."

Zhuo: Okay, let me know when you land.

Shi Kai: Received.

Pan Xiaozhuo sent another message a few minutes later: Brother Kai, I've made up my mind.

Shi Kai: What's the answer?

Shi Kai: I'm a little nervous.

However, Pan Xiaozhuo never replied, and Shi Kai waited until the plane took off, so he had to turn on the airplane mode.

On the plane back, my colleagues were watching movies downloaded from their mobile phones, and Shi Kai was sleeping with a blindfold on.He didn't fall asleep much along the way, he couldn't stretch his legs a little bit, and it was very tiring to sit like this.

And Shi Kai couldn't sleep at all.

Pan Xiaozhuo said that he had thought about it, but there was nothing to say.It's not so difficult for him to say yes, but he hesitates when he refuses.

With Pan Xiaozhuo's character, every sentence has to be carefully considered before he can say it, and he has to explain a lot to refuse a sentence.

Ninety percent of this is cold.

As soon as the plane landed, Shi Kai turned off the flight mode. After waiting for a long time, other news came, but Pan Xiaozhuo still didn't send anything.

Shi Kai sent him: It landed.

Pan Xiaozhuo returned quite quickly: "Okay."

Shi Kai laughed, the answer above is no reply?

It's hard for him, I don't know how to struggle these two days.Shi Kai didn't ask him any more, and waited for him to say it himself.

A few colleagues said they wanted to have a meal before going home. Shi Kai was not in the mood and said he was going to pick up the puppy, so he went home first.

But Shi Kai didn't go to pick up the puppy yet, he had to go home to clean up first, otherwise the puppy would be excited for a long time after picking it up, then he wouldn't be able to clean up, and everything he took out would be a mess.

When I came back, I took a shower first, and then put the two clothes in the washing machine for washing. The coat and shoes were packed and waited to be sent to the laundry tomorrow.I went to the door to pick up the courier, put away what should be collected when I came back, and then wiped the floor.

It's actually just passing the time.Although I know that even if Xiao Zhuo really rejects him, there is still something to talk about when he returns home during the Chinese New Year, but I am still somewhat disappointed.

The road is long and difficult.

When Pan Xiaozhuo called, Shi Kai was just about to go out to pick up the puppy.

Seeing that it was Pan Xiaozhuo calling, Shi Kai was quite surprised, because Pan Xiaozhuo sent messages most of the time.

"Hello?" Shi Kai picked it up.

"Brother Kai," Pan Xiaozhuo asked uncertainly, "where are you?"

"At home, what's the matter?" Shi Kai asked.

Pan Xiaozhuo sounded quiet and asked him: "You said you wanted to be with me that day..."

"Ah," Shi Kai asked with a smile, "Do you want to reject me?"

Pan Xiaozhuo sounded a little nervous, and asked softly, "Do you still think about it? Does what you said that day still count?"

"Forget it." Shi Kai replied firmly, "I'm serious."

"Then you..." Pan Xiaozhuo cleared his throat and asked, "Is it convenient for you to come out? Can we meet?"

"Okay." Shi Kai agreed regardless of what Pan Xiaozhuo wanted to say, and quickly passed the time in his mind, and said, "Can you do it tomorrow night? The afternoon after tomorrow at the latest, you will wait for me at school."

"No...you can just come out." Pan Xiaozhuo said, "I'm in Beijing now."

Shi Kai met Pan Xiaozhuo 7 minutes later.

Pan Xiaozhuo, with his schoolbag on his back, walked over from the street alone, looking for landmarks around while using the navigation to check the location.

Shi Kai ran out, panting a little.As soon as Pan Xiaozhuo looked up and saw him, he was stunned for a moment, and then smiled all of a sudden.

The last time they met in summer, Pan Xiaozhuo also laughed when he saw Shi Kai.

Shi Kai hung up the phone and still felt unreal until now, until Pan Xiaozhuo stood in front of him and smiled at him, Shi Kai still felt unreal.

Shi Kai ran in a hurry, and asked him with a breathy voice when he spoke, "How did you get here?"

"I came here by high-speed rail." Pan Xiaozhuo took off the schoolbag strap on one shoulder and unzipped the schoolbag.

Pan Xiaozhuo lowered his head and carefully took things out of his schoolbag, rattling.

Pan Xiaozhuo fiddled with it for a long time, Shi Kai kept looking at him, and then saw him take out a bunch of small flowers from his schoolbag.

"I'm not lying. Every time I said that I didn't want to fall in love with you, I never lied to you. I really never thought about it." Seeing that Pan Xiaozhuo was a little nervous, his breath became unstable, "You said you like me, Thinking I'm in a relationship with you scares me to death. You deserve a better life with someone better."

Pan Xiaozhuo was still smoothing the wrapping paper of the flowers to make them even.It may also be to ease their own cramps.

"But you put such a big gift in front of me that I dare not ask for, I still want it." Pan Xiaozhuo looked into Shi Kai's eyes and said, "I will work harder, and I can also be a better person... I want to try."

Shi Kai didn't say anything, just looked at him deeply in silence.

Pan Xiaozhuo finally straightened the wrapping paper and arranged the petals.

Nine roses, with no other flowers, tied into a simple bouquet in black wrapping paper.Intense, direct and clean.

"Here you are." Pan Xiaozhuo handed the bouquet of small flowers to Shi Kai's hand, and Shi Kai's hand was cold when he touched it.

"You said you don't want to start on the phone, then let's start here..." Pan Xiaozhuo looked at Shi Kai, smiled lightly, was very nervous but said as calmly as possible, "I'm with you, and I'll be your little boyfriend .I can treat you well."