sinovels Chapter 47 Choking
Chapter 47 Choking
"What do you mean being together..." The moment he realized it, He Jingnian's face turned red.
In the past few years, he and Shen Tangfeng have treated each other with respect, they have never had physical contact, even the most common kiss between lovers is just a light touch on the forehead.
He Jingnian was grateful for his tolerance and consideration, and even felt a little guilty.He knew that it wasn't that Shen Tangfeng didn't want to, it was just that considering that he was seriously ill before, he was careful about his mood, for fear of making him feel uncomfortable in the slightest.
They've been dating for so long, and they're getting married soon, it's normal for anything to happen.It's better to say that it's still the same as before, but it's not normal.
He Jingnian lowered his head with red ears, and said in a voice that was almost inaudible: "Should we make preparations first..."
Shen Tangfeng pursed his lips, and asked next to his ear: "What do you want to prepare for every year?"
He Jingnian's face was red, his ears were red, and he was so hot that he was about to emit white smoke, "Take a shower...and brush your teeth..."
As soon as he finished speaking, his body lightened suddenly, Shen Tangfeng hugged him horizontally, rubbed the tip of his tall nose lightly against his warm cheek, and whispered: "I'll help Niannian, okay?"
He Jingnian blushed even more, even his neck was smeared with pink, all the way into the tight collar, making people want to find out what kind of gorgeous face is hidden in the thick cloth. color.
Shen Tangfeng's eyes became darker and darker, like clusters of pitch-black flames.He hugged the person in his arms tightly, the more he was satisfied, the more he longed for it.
He Jingnian is very thin, and his bones can be felt clearly through the thin skin.However, the feeling of hugging him is very good, as light as the fragrance of a bouquet of flowers, and as soft as a cloud, which makes people want to kiss and love him, but also unbearable the dark impulse to bully him to the point of crying.
He Jingnian hung there tremblingly, but he didn't put his arms around Shen Tangfeng's neck, but just held his clothes tightly, "Let me down, I can do it myself."
Shen Tangfeng didn't respond, but hugged him even tighter, and carried him into the bathroom.Hot water was bubbling in the wide bath, and in the mist, Shen Tangfeng hugged his shoulders and gently pushed him back.When He Jingnian reached the wall, a wet feeling spread across his back, sticky and uncomfortable.
"Niannian, you are so pretty." Shen Tangfeng leaned over, touched his cheek with thin lips that smelled like wine, and whispered softly, "What should I do, Niannian, I want you right now."
He Jingnian trembled, before he could speak, Shen Tangfeng went to unbutton his clothes.Such a hot flash environment and such ambiguous movements formed an extremely familiar feeling in his mind, accompanied by sharp memory fragments.
Each piece reflects all the things that happened between him and Yuan Cisheng in the bathroom, pain, sadness, suffocation, and a little bit of pitiful sporadic sweetness.
"Don't...!" He Jingnian held Shen Tangfeng's wrist, and his thin white fingers climbed up, trembling with force. "I, I'm not used to this...will you wait for me?"
Shen Tangfeng held his hand instead, stroking his thin, soft and moist palm with his long fingers, rubbing it once and for all, as if to soften his emotions, but also as if he was thinking about something.
He Jingnian was stared deeply at by those eyes so dark that he couldn't tell the color, his heart trembled weakly, and he begged softly: "I don't want to be here, I'm so...so sorry..."
Shen Tangfeng let go of him, and gently slid his fingertips over his lips, "En."
He Jingnian breathed a sigh of relief, but his heart was still hanging, and he raised it higher and higher and tighter.After he came out, he sat down by the bed in the bedroom, with his hands on his knees, and the fabric was clenched into deep creases.Every inch of the exposed skin was soaked with warm moisture, and then slowly cooled in the air.
"Click."
The sound of the door being opened.
He Jingnian didn't have the courage to raise his head, he could only feel the movement, breathing, footsteps and cloth of Shen Tang when the wind came over.After that, the edge of the bed beside him sank, and the breath of Shen Tangfeng lingered over. The fragrance of the shower gel mixed with his unique warm smell, it smelled so good that it was enough to make people intoxicated.
What's more, it is completely different from the cold and ruthless disinfectant.
"Why are you sitting here?" Shen Tangfeng hugged him into his arms naturally, "Is it cold, huh? Be careful not to catch a cold."
"I'm waiting for you." He Jingnian muttered.
Shen Tangfeng couldn't help laughing, it was jerky with incomprehensible amorous feelings, but it was even cuter, and it stirred up the flames on the tip of his heart even more.
He was not in a hurry to unwrap the clothes that tightly wrapped this thin body like gift paper, but first lowered his face, approached the slender neck, and gently sniffed the fragrance emanating from the smooth and warm skin.
He Jingnian closed his eyes, grasped the bed sheet tightly, and told himself that what was happening and what was about to happen were all normal things between lovers.Moreover, Shen Tangfeng is such a gentle person, even every time he holds his hand, he is so gentle and precious, as if he is afraid of hurting himself.So, just leave everything to him and don't have to worry about anything.
Sensing his nervousness, Shen Tangfeng gently stroked his back to comfort him, while pushing him into the thick and soft mattress.
He Jingnian raised his face, in the dim light of the night lamp, Shen Tangfeng's figure crouching above him formed a dark silhouette.
It's all like this, I should be emotional, He Jingnian thought so, but found that he was so stiff that he couldn't even lift a finger.In a daze, Shen Tangfeng held the back of his head and confessed in a low voice: "Niannian, I love you."
It was obviously a very common confession between lovers, but my heart felt like being stabbed suddenly.All that comes to mind is...
Someone else.
Except him and only him.
He Jingnian twitched his eyelashes, and all he could see was that person's face.He saw his eyes, seared by the fire of pain, and the jewels turned to brittle glass, which could be shattered by tears.
—I love you, I really love you.
——I love you so much, I am willing to do anything you ask me to do.
—You want me to die, right?As soon as you say I love you, I will die immediately.
I love you countless times.I love you who can't respond.
Say it once, it is a precious confession; repeat it countless times, it is a curse that cannot be dispelled.
He Jingnian moved his lips, and said to the lingering phantom: I don't love you.
Why, even at this time, he can come to disturb his heart.
He Jingnian felt that he was about to be torn in two. His body was with this man, but inside was everything left by another man.
Not only can't it be cleaned up, but it has taken root and sprouted, surreptitiously growing secretly, polluting him, and torturing him.
The phone on the bedside table buzzed and vibrated, and the screen showed a gap in the night.
He Jingnian finally seemed to have a reason, he immediately struggled and stretched his arms to answer the call.But Shen Tang was leaning on him, saw the caller ID earlier than he did, pressed his wrist, and said in a hoarse voice: "Don't worry about it."
"In case there is something urgent..." He Jingnian's fingertips froze.Then, he saw Shen Tangfeng take the phone over, slide down the answer button, and said coldly: "Yuan Cisheng, please stop harassing my fiancée, he doesn't want to hear your voice again."
Before He Jingnian could hear what the original voice said, Shen Tangfeng hung up the phone.
"Okay, it's all right." Shen Tangfeng whispered comfortingly, slipped his hands into the hem of his pajamas, and just about to clasp his thin and flexible waistline with his fingers, He Jingnian suddenly curled up to avoid it, pushed him, nothing happened. Let him touch himself.
He doesn't know why he's doing it, or even realizes what he's doing.
Shen Tangfeng stopped moving, and in the darkness, they looked at each other silently.
After an unknown amount of time, Shen Tangfeng quietly said, "Why?"
He Jingnian moved his lips, "What...why?"
The phone vibrated again reluctantly.This time, Shen Tangfeng slid down the answer button and handed it over.He Jingnian curled his fingertips and shook his head.However, Shen Tangfeng grabbed his hand and stuffed the phone into his palm.
From the loudspeaker, the voice of the original speech was heard, mixed with a little whistling wind.In such a cold day, in such a late night, what would he do outside, wouldn't he be afraid of freezing?
"Niannian, is that you? Are you listening?" Yuan Ci's voice was thick nasal, whether it was cold or choked up. "Niannian, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. I want to say Merry Christmas to you personally. I really want to see you."
He Jingnian remained silent. Through the screen, he could feel the tears in Yuanci's voice, it was hot; there was also the cold wind that kept blowing, it was cold.Heat and cold are intertwined, and the voice on the phone seems to be covered with water vapor, damp.
"Niannian, just go to the window and let me take a look at you, okay? Today...I really want to see you."
He Jingnian twitched his eyelashes, what is this?Romeo and Juliet?It's a pity that they don't have a heart-to-heart relationship, and the more they meet, the more pain they will suffer, and they don't even deserve a tragic ending, they can only have a beginning without an end.
"You..." Just as He Jingnian wanted him to go back, his wrist suddenly hurt, and he couldn't help but let out a "huh".The original speech must have been heard, and asked anxiously: "Niannian, what's wrong with you?"
He Jingnian couldn't speak, Shen Tangfeng clamped his wrists and pressed them on both sides of the pillow, with unbelievable strength,
On the other end of the phone, Yuan Ci's urgent voice kept coming, and He Jingnian almost suspected that he was going to call the police soon.However, I can only bite my lip tightly, and if I loosen it a little, there will be a cry of pain.
However, it doesn't matter if the wrist bone is pinched, Shen Tangfeng still looks at him with mocking eyes, it is simply a more difficult torture.He Jingnian was shaking all over, like a fish thrown ashore, or a mouse waiting for the scalpel to fall.He was scared and ashamed, looking at his fiancé who was so gentle just now, his heart throbbed with pain.
Shen Tangfeng still restrained him condescendingly. Seeing that he was about to cry or not, the corners of his eyes were red, he pinched his chin hard, wanting to kiss his tightly pursed thin red lips.
He has never kissed He Jingnian before, knowing that he is shy and cowardly, but God knows how many times, the two lips that are as clean as cherry blossoms that he didn't have the heart to touch, were hurt to He Jingnian's body The cruel man was bitten bloody.
He Jingnian couldn't bear it anymore, sobbing in his throat.
At this moment, Yuan Ci's voice seemed to finally understand what was going on, and the other end of the phone was silent for a moment, only heavy breathing, mixed with the rustling sound of electricity.
Shen Tangfeng grabbed the phone, turned it off, looked at He Jingnian, "Why are you crying?"
He Jingnian turned his head away with red eyes, "Why did you do this?"
"Why, what's the problem?" Shen Tangfeng's tone was as calm as ever, as if he really didn't know. "He has been pestering you endlessly. As your fiance, I will help you hang up his phone. Is there something wrong?"
He Jingnian clenched his lips, "You obviously did it on purpose..." He was ashamed to say the rest.
"So what? We're not in a shady relationship. Is there anything abnormal about this kind of thing?"
Shen Tangfeng moved his hands to his waist, and the tiger's mouth was slightly tightened, as if he was measuring the twisted waist.Even through the pajamas, He Jingnian's waist was still very sensitive, trying to struggle to loosen it, but his hands seemed to be struggling to control it even harder.
He Jingnian couldn't take it anymore, and choked up more and more, "You know he...he can hear it, have you ever thought about how I feel?"
"Look, in the final analysis, you still care about him." Shen Tangfeng smiled, an extremely cold smile. "Didn't you realize that something is wrong with you since you returned to China? As long as you encounter something related to him, you won't let go of your soul. Do you really think that others can't see it?"
"I... There is nothing between me and him, I don't even remember him!" He Jingnian argued, and when he opened his mouth, tears welled up in disappointment.
Shen Tangfeng watched him cry, watched the tears wet the long black eyelashes, and gradually wet the pale face that was flushed with excitement, dryness and anger rose at the same time.
He leaned down and approached He Jingnian. Seeing that the other party turned his head to avoid him, he became even more angry. He immediately pinched his sharp jaw, looked at him and said, "Even if you don't remember, you still care about him. If you really don't feel for him , how could it be possible to give him the chance to approach you again and again?"
He Jingnian tremblingly said: "What do you want me to do? I can't really sever the relationship with him. After all, he is Gao Gao's father, and I also want to work hard to get along with him normally."
"Excuses! Are you going to use children to cover up now?"
"I didn't, what I said was true!"
"Then let me ask you, what did you do with him the night we went on vacation and I wasn't there?" Seeing that He Jingnian was at a loss for words, Shen Tangfeng smiled, but there was sourness and pain in his eyes.
"When you left, you still looked back at him. Do you think I didn't notice him standing there and looking at you? He Jingnian, what do you think of me? I am your boyfriend, not an extra third party !"
"I didn't... I really didn't! He came to me that day, but nothing happened between me and him. I made it clear to him and asked him not to come to me again. You believe me, you can ask his!"
He Jingnian kept crying and arguing, and was in so much pain that he couldn't breathe.He didn't do anything, but he was more guilty than he made a mistake; he didn't remember anything, but he was heavier than carrying the memory.
Shen Tangfeng raised his hand and rubbed his cheeks and the corners of his eyes. His palms were warm and moist, and his thin, tender skin slowly turned red.
The man in front of him who was biting his lower lip and sobbing, his unmarried wife, the lover he held in his palm and cared for.
He always felt that he was like a pure snowflake, a little heat from his fingertips could melt him and ooze out crystal clear water.But it was only at this moment that he suddenly felt why such a fragile person seemed to be missing a heart, and why he could be so ruthless without realizing it.
Perhaps, the true heart that belonged to He Jingnian had long been given to another person.
"Not just this time, every time." Shen Tangfeng stared at him, his voice trembling. "You don't even realize it yourself. As long as he appears, there will be nothing else in your eyes and heart. Why, I have been so kind to you these past few years, but you still can't let him go? Tell me, I How is he inferior to him? It’s not like you didn’t know that you were not good to you before, but now that he shows a little bit of repentance, your heart will soften, right? "
He Jingnian cried and shook his head desperately. He was crying so hard that he was about to suffocate. Every time he took a breath, his chest felt like a tearing pain.
"I didn't... I really didn't...! He is just my daughter's father. There is really nothing between me and him. I never thought of accepting him again. Why don't you believe me?"
"How do you want me to believe you? Don't forget, I am also a man. I can't see the way he treats you, the way you treat him unless I am blind!" Shen Tangfeng raised his voice, anger and pain intertwined , Qingjun's face became distorted and terrifying.
"It's not that I didn't know before, I was deceiving myself and others all the time. I thought it was he who kept pestering you, and I thought you were helpless. I even believed that the three years between us were enough to equal the few months between you and him."
"But it turns out that I was wrong, and it was a big mistake!"
"It's not like this...!" He Jingnian grabbed his sleeve, and made a broken and broken pleading voice with his swollen and sore throat that could no longer cry.
"Don't say such things, okay? I really just regard Yuan Cisheng as a bad dad. No matter what he is, he is a very responsible and good dad. If... If it is not because of the child, I will definitely not There will be a little bit of intersection with him."
Shen Tangfeng lowered his eyes, his eyes were sharp and sharp as needles, as if analyzing all his thoughts.After a long time, until He Jingnian's eyes welled up with tears again, he opened his mouth slowly: "So, in the final analysis, it's because you have a child with him, right?"
He Jingnian lowered his head, just after a slight "hmm", his chin was raised again.Shen Tangfeng stared at him, and said: "Then, you can give me a child too. Once you have a child, your heart will not run wild, and we will become a complete family. Home is the strongest, no one can to destroy it."
He Jingnian was so stunned that he couldn't say a word.Shen Tangfeng had never talked to him so far before, and Zhuang Manyin and Shen Peng didn't seem to care about it at all, they only hoped that he would marry in soon.Even he himself hadn't thought about it.Right now, when Shen Tangfeng suddenly mentioned having a child, he was really caught off guard.
"Seeing that Gao Gao is so cute, I really want to have a child with you." Shen Tang's eyelashes drooped furiously, "Don't you want to?"
"I, I haven't thought about it yet." He Jingnian whispered bitterly with his chapped lips. "The doctor said that I actually have a constitution that is not easy to conceive, so..."
Shen Tangfeng's breathing was visibly disturbed. "It's okay, we'll just work hard together." He interrupted him, showing a smile, as if he had returned to the gentle and friendly young man he was usually.
He picked up the box in the drawer of the bedside table, raised his hand and threw it into the trash can, "Now, I don't need this."
He Jingnian's face was burning like a fire, and the salty tears caused a sharp pain on his skin.He wiped away his tears and his voice was so hoarse that it was frightening. "I promised you that I will... be with you tonight, so... yes."
After speaking, he didn't dare to look at Shen Tangfeng, and immediately closed his eyes.Not a big deal, he thought.Since being pregnant can make her normal, make Shen Tangfeng normal, and bring all abnormal things back to the right track, then, just do whatever you want, whatever is fine.
Already, it doesn't matter anymore.
Just to be right, just to be normal.
Time passed by every minute and every second, but what was expected did not happen.Feeling the soft touch of the fabric on his body, Shen Tangfeng gently wrapped the quilt tightly for him, and then, a warm breath fell on his forehead, followed by a kiss like a superficial kiss.
At that moment, one drop, two drops, the hot liquid fell on his skin, so sore, so helpless.
"Let's...let's call it a day. The engagement is void, just pretend nothing happened."
In the darkness, he heard Shen Tangfeng get up and leave, and there was silence.
From the beginning to the end, He Jingnian did not open his eyes.
After a while, he rolled over, buried his face in the pillow, and began to sob and cry.
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The author has something to say:
My friend said that she could help Niannian raise cakes together, and also said that she also wanted Niannian to give her a baby...
感谢在2022-05-1600:00:00~2022-05-1700:00:00期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~
Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 20 bottles of Sikong Liuli;
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!