go the same way

Chapter 18

Nie Xunqiu was born on a boat, and traveled the last mile in a small boat.

For a person like him who is alone and not cared about, turning into a lonely bone in this secluded landscape, it can be regarded as returning to the roots.

This is a happy ending, not dying of violence, not dying for others, but of one's own choice.

He never took control of his own life, but on the eve of the end, he became his own master and gained freedom.

Everything is enough.

"Is that so..." Li Pei felt relieved when he heard that Li Cong and Zhu Fengjin were still living together. He squeezed the mineral water bottle, and a small hole was sunk in the plastic shell, and he couldn't return to the original state. "There is one more thing. I'm curious, is your name Nie Xunqiu before, or did you get it here?"

Nie Xunqiu thought for a while: "I didn't have a name when I was a child. I was called Everardo when I was still in Colombia. I came up with my own surname. Because I had never seen snow at that time, I named Nieba as a surname derived from Xue. I went with Mr. Li and learned Chinese for the convenience of communication. He asked me to choose my own name. At that time, I wanted to call it Nie Xunqiu, but I didn’t want to explain too much to him, so I took it out of the word Xunqiu. And, there's no ingenuity in dismantling it, but no one will care."

The first time Li Pei heard him mention his past, it was not about dryly reciting fake information, but about the real Nie Xunqiu, unveiling his ordinary and mysterious veil.

He remembered that he had asked Li Yan about his name when he was young, but his eldest brother couldn't come up with anything specific, so he took him by the hand to find his mother.

Dai Qianchun squatted in front of the flowerbed, heard the words and cut off a flower branch, and drew fine marks on the wet sand: "You two are named water, Xiaoyan means long flowing water, Xiaopei means swift, grand, and slow." It’s just a perfect complement to each other. The name is chosen in the hope that Xiao Yan will always love his younger brother, and Xiao Pei will also go forward to catch up with his elder brother.”

At that time, Li Pei seemed to understand but half understood. Seeing his mother's sincere and gentle expression, even if he only listened to the second half of the sentence, he still felt relieved and remembered it until now.

The name is just a symbol and not very important, but Li Pei feels that the time when the parents think hard and give meaning and hope to a simple word is the proof that the person is expected to come.

His birth into this family was a joyful and long-awaited event, and what his mother and elder brother gave him were also very good.I used to naively feel that everyone's life should be like this.

He knew that Cunhe had no family members, but he didn't expect that they never even gave this person a name.

He also thought that Cunhe's name was strange, thinking that it was fabricated casually to cover up his identity, but he didn't expect that there was such a meaning in it.

never seen snow...

He recalled the first snow in the first year, when the bodyguard squatted in front of the snow-covered flowerbed, the subtle movements that Li Pei saw through the wide back, Cunhe really picked up a small handful of snow, a bit like a People who are far away from the world must sniff and taste when exploring all new things.

It turned out that he had never seen it.

Li Pei has been unable to figure out how true or false Cun He's actions and words were in the past few years, so he simply regarded them as deceit and perfunctory, but never thought that he might not be playing with himself, but I really can't receive the love, hate, sorrow and joy that ordinary people should have.

He asked thoughtfully, "What does snow taste like?"

Nie Xunqiu was startled, and he squeezed the plastic bottle in his hand, making a "click" sound.

He searched for a while: "It's cold and sticky to the tongue, probably because it was picked up from the grass, and it smells of grass."

Recalling the experience a long time ago, Nie Xunqiu continued: "I only tasted a small amount, and I haven't tried it again. I thought you were not sober when I saw you that time, so I threw wine from upstairs. bottle."

"You're drunk, but you're still conscious," Li Pei said, "I felt weird, so I wanted to see what was in your hand. I poked it out, but my hand didn't hold it steady, and the bottle fell and shattered."

The conversation seemed to be at a dead end, Li Pei shook the toe of his shoes, and said calmly: "Actually, putting aside those grievances, you were a bodyguard at the beginning, and you were very conscientious. When I held a gun to my head, Li Huisheng said He saved you, so you obeyed him just to repay your kindness?"

"No," Nie Xunqiu pondered for a moment, "Many people have been kind to me, but none of them had a good result. I used to work as a bodyguard for drug dealers in Colombia, and Mr. Li liked me, so he took me away. He is the same as my former master. It is only natural to work for them. Listening to his words is just what I should do. It just so happened that my former master was killed by the Qing Dynasty, so Mr. Li felt that it was because of him that I escaped. It will be a calamity, but one day it will be his turn, there is no such thing as saving or not. Killing your brother, watching you by your side, except for Zhu Fengjin and Li Cong, I only need to be responsible for carrying out his orders."

He spoke very calmly, as if what he stated were not crimes, but a summary of a machine after its operation.

At this moment, Li Pei seemed to see that Cunhe who was as cold as a rock again.

The doubts and anger he had suppressed for a long time finally broke out, and he asked scoldingly: "Haven't you ever thought that what you did was wrong? You have the physique and the ability to learn, why do you want to work for such a person? How many people have been killed and how many families have been destroyed, do you feel at ease as a shield for those executioners? Since you don't think he is kind to you, why should you bear your life for Li Huisheng? I don't understand, can't you tell what? What is wrong, what is right?"

Unexpectedly, Nie Xunqiu's eyes gradually changed from cold to earnest.

"Yes, Xiao Pei. I really didn't understand before," Nie Xunqiu's throat choked up, trying to force out his true feelings that had been hidden for so many years. Here, all those who treated him kindly will end badly, let him figure out what is right and what is wrong, he can't figure it out, Xiaopei."

The violent criminal who killed the sailor got away with it, the client who sickened the whore was nowhere to be found, restless, restless, but otherwise helpless.He has hidden and escaped before, but the hand of fate refuses to let go.

He could be pulled out, but those who rescued him would not die well.

Ask nothing, think nothing, give up struggling.

Faced with Li Pei's accusation, he accepts that circumstances can affect many people, but none of them is an excuse for collusion.Some people are born in the mud, but they can still shine, to fight and change the past that hurt them.

Instead of deflecting harm onto innocent people.

He used to think that Li Pei was cowardly, but no, he was actually the weakest person.

Li Pei recalled what Nie Xunqiu said at his home before. At that time, he didn't want to listen to it. Heartfelt words.

"...Emotions, anger, sorrow, joy, conscience and pity, I don't understand, but I have learned."

Do you need to learn what you are born with?

These seemingly far-fetched lies turned out to be true.

Li Pei didn't know how to react for a moment.

"During the time I lived with you, I seemed to have learned something, but I was too stupid to figure it out. When you found Li Yan's relic, Mr. Li wanted to give you drugs. I know that the person who got it was What consequences, I have seen you give up drinking, so I asked him to change to sleeping pills, but you still have some bad reactions, so I let you find out, and I also want to end this scam as soon as possible... Mr. Li said to solve it Li Cong and Zhu Fengjin, I am free, he gave me a boat, I originally wanted to go with you. I naively thought that I could really be free, but I didn’t expect you to commit suicide.”

Cun He was too roundabout, he never disobeyed orders, so he settled for the next best thing; he tried to solve the problem, but he couldn't find the root of the problem, and felt that Li Pei was different, and wanted to protect him, but used the wrong method, which catalyzed Li Pei's will to die produced a result that no one wanted to see.

Li Pei didn't have time to digest what Nie Xunqiu said, so he could only answer the last few words. He thought it was ridiculous: "I know I can't kill you, but I can shoot at the murderer behind the scenes and pay for the murder, so I use my own You said that you want to take me away, you want to be free, but the price is the lives of my family and friends, do you think I will go away with you with peace of mind?"

Nie Xunqiu shook his head slowly.

Li Pei felt relieved a lot, not only because he was forgiven by his brother before, but also because he found an excuse for his ignorance in the past - he never saw through Cun He, but only imposed his feelings on the other party. , Inch and do you understand, or if you want it, I didn't ask.Let's just think that what Nie Xunqiu said is true, this person doesn't know the straight and the straight, he doesn't understand love, then it's enough to live again and feel ashamed in his heart, and there is no need to be entangled in matters of love.

Suddenly he didn't hate the man, not at all.

"You said so much, I understand. My elder brother told me not to pursue it. I don't need to bring my grievances here again. There is no room for making up for what happened in the past, so I don't need you to make up for it," Li Pei said frankly. Said, he got up, "Live a good life, Dr. Nie."

The moment he was about to leave, Li Pei felt a warm hand grabbing his wrist.

"I know I can't make up for it," Nie Xunqiu said firmly, "so it's a pursuit."