sinovels Chapter 5 05
Chapter 5 05
In his sleep, he heard faint crying.
When I woke up the next day, I saw Makoto sitting by the bed fully dressed.The parents of the two families stood by the bed and looked at themselves.
Everyone's expression is the same dignified.Makoto opened her mouth to say something but stopped talking.
"Xiaoyao. I'm sorry, grandma...she won't come back."
The tears in the corners of Dad's eyes were still wet, and Mom's eyes were red.Looking at the black kimonos on them, Haruka probably understood.
The home has long been decorated as a mourning hall.There is a black and white photo of grandma smiling on the top of the altar, and lotus lanterns, flower baskets and fruits are placed on both sides.The incense was smoky, and grandma's face was blurred.Following the instructions of his parents, he bowed to the photo of grandma, twisted the broken incense in the oatmeal with his hands, brought it between his eyebrows and put it in the incense burner, and prayed with his hands clasped together.
The altar was well furnished.Grandma will be happy when she sees it.
Accepted intellectually, but not emotionally.Yao didn't cry, she was even a little numb.
Even if she cried and rolled all over the floor, grandma...wouldn't come back again, would she?
Crying now will only make your parents suffer.
Grandma, for the first time she lied.
In the afternoon of a week ago, autumn leaves fell all over the stone steps.Parents leave with grandma.
"Will grandma get better after surgery?" Eight-year-old Yao snuggled into grandma's arms and refused to let her go.
"Yes, Xiaoyao must be obedient at Xiaozhenqin's house." The wrinkled and old face forced a smile on Yao, and Yao hugged grandma even tighter. "When the weather is cold, you need to add more clothes, and remember to apply face cream yourself."
"Will grandma be back soon?" Yao's voice became crying.
"Xiaoyao, don't worry about me. If Xiaoyao is obedient, I will bring chocolates from Tokyo to Xiaoyao and Xiao Makoto." Grandma let go of Yao, gave him a loving look, waved her hand, and trembled under the support of her parents Weiwei walked down the stone steps.
"Well, grandma is the best." Yao laughed through tears, because grandma never lied to herself.The autumn wind was bitter, and the shaved cheeks were sore.Usually in this weather, grandma would apply skin cream to Haruka.Haruka is the prettiest child in the Yanyuan area, and grandma has always been proud of it.
He watched the car drive away until it disappeared from sight.
According to the agreement with grandma, Yao obediently adds clothes, puts on face cream every day, and rushes to do housework at Zhenqin's house.He would still receive calls from his parents in the first two days, but he was not allowed to answer the calls later.After answering the phone, Makoto's parents were whispering, and Haruka saw and remembered the increasingly dignified expression, but dared not ask anything or think about it.
Makoto timidly tugged at the corner of Yao's clothes, "Hey, Xiaoyao, grandma..."
"It will be all right."
Grandma never breaks her word.
Grandma...it's just that I didn't buy any delicious chocolate, so I should hide it.
The Tachibana family also changed into black kimonos and came to Nanase's house together. According to the custom, they will keep vigil tonight.
"Xiaoyao, grandma will never come back again."
The adults let the two children stay in the remote room.The two sat by the bed, Makoto sobbed softly, and Haruka wiped away his tears little by little.
Haruka's parents tried to suppress the crying that could be heard outside the door.Makoto clung to Haruka in fright.
"Makoto, grandma went to find...my grandpa, maybe I will meet the grandpa who sells goldfish."
"I know……"
"So, Makoto, don't be afraid."
"Mom asked me to bring a lot of chocolate for Xiaoyao to eat, look." Zhenqin touched the bulging little pocket.
Far away did not look.Whenever he tried to paralyze himself, the sound of the monk chanting sutras and the smell of the incense burner would force him back to reality.Wooden fish knocked on his heart, reminding him all the time: the closest grandma, the grandma who taught him to walk, the grandma who took him to the fish market on a tricycle, the grandma who sewed clothes for him with reading glasses, fed him with a spoonful of spoon when he was sick. His fish soup grandma, the grandma who took him by the hand and took him to the kindergarten, and the grandma who watched him from a distance outside the primary school gate, has passed away and will never come back again.
"Grandma, she... lied." Yao clenched the ball of paper in his hand, "I promised to bring candy back, I promised to come back in a week, I promised to have surgery and I'll get better!" Tears welled up in my eyes.
"I waited for her every day, and prayed every day... In the end, grandma didn't want me anymore." Mingming took himself to the aquarium in Tottori not long ago, and Mingming cooked for himself the day before, and used it before leaving. With that kind of tone, it seems that he just went to Tokyo for a trip, and he will come back with a lot of souvenirs soon.How to say go, just go.
"I don't eat chocolate anymore. It's my fault. I asked grandma to buy it, so grandma won't come back."
"It's not Xiaoyao's fault." Makoto shook her head, "Dad said, Xiaoyao's grandma went to heaven to enjoy the blessings." Zhenqin took Yao's hand, "Hey Xiaoyao, grandma said that she hoped Xiaoyao would always be happy Yes. Don't cry anymore, grandma will be sad."
Haruka stopped talking, tears fell to the ground drop by drop.
Batch after batch of mourners.The noisy footsteps, voices, whimpers, mixed with the sound of monks chanting sutras, made Yao's scalp numb.I want to take Zhenqin to a paradise immediately, away from this sad place.
Looking away, Makoto lowered her head, and big drops of tears fell on her bulging pockets.His shoulders trembled, trying not to make a sound.
Obviously sad and frightened, but also to comfort myself.Comfort is not good, this silly brother.
He pulled Makoto's pocket, took a piece of chocolate, peeled off the wrapping paper, "Makoto opened his mouth" and put it into Makoto's mouth.
"Chocolate is sweet, tears are salty, and they don't taste good when mixed together. So... Makoto, don't cry anymore, and cry out when you cry."
"As long as Xiaoyao doesn't cry, I won't cry." Zhenqin chewed tearfully, "It's still delicious."
"I...maybe going to be alone."
Makoto grabbed his hand violently. "No! I absolutely...will not let Xiaoyao be alone."
"Are you going to leave me like grandma did?"
"No. It's done."
"Then hang yourself on the hook."
"The hook cannot be changed for 100 years." Zhenqin raised his little finger and shook it.Haruka looked at Makoto's chubby little hands, thinking that if Makoto was still so fat in the future, he would be restricted from eating chocolate.
Makoto fell asleep lying on the side of the bed, and Haruka put him on the bed and covered him with the quilt.Yao went out to fetch water and saw a lot of people in black suits, who he recognized from his impression as staff members of the Fisheries Association.They had long words of reassurance to Haruka, but it was better than nothing.Haruka went upstairs and heard them ask their parents, "Haruka-kun must go to Tokyo this time, right?"
"The school has been contacted. All that's left is to talk to Yao... He may not be willing." Dad forced a smile.After a few days of busy work, I was extremely sad but worked hard to receive batches of guests. I was already exhausted physically and mentally.
"It can't be helped. Haruka-kun is only eight years old, and living alone is very hard."
"That's true..."
When he was three years old, his parents went to work in Beijing and had to take Yao away.Makoto cried and refused, so her parents left Yao with grandma.
Parents never force Haruka to do what she doesn't want to do.But this time, there was really no reason to refuse.
"Makoto, let's sleep with a quilt." Yao made the bed, and Makoto lay down in it.Haru took his hand.
"Makoto, I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" Makoto's chubby face was so cute that Haruka couldn't say anything more.
"I...knowing that you are scared, but I still cried. I'm sorry. It won't be like this in the future. "
"Xiaoyao has to cry if she wants to cry." Makoto moved closer to Yao's side, her smile shaking so that Yao couldn't open her eyes.
There are some things that should be said or have to be said.
"Makoto, there is one more thing. I might really be going to Tokyo... I won't be coming back."
Makoto's smile froze on her face.The corners of his mouth turned up, and his eyes lost their luster.
"I know you don't want me to go, and you will cry if you say it, but I still say it, I'm sorry."
Maybe she was tired from crying during the day, but Makoto didn't cry.After a while, a muffled voice came: "Xiaoyao go." He let go of Yao's hand and turned his body to one side.Haruka stared blankly at his hand being thrown away.
Makoto, I'm sorry.
Grandma was a very good person during her lifetime, and many people came to the farewell ceremony.Yao's parents gave a eulogy, and everyone wept.Amidst the mage's deep chanting, everyone went to pray before the coffin one by one, and offered bouquets before the coffin.Yao put on grandma's favorite hydrangea.Grandma is smiling, very peaceful.It is also a kind of relief to not have the torment of illness.
Dad walked in the front with the spirit card in his hand, and followed closely behind the coffin with a white cloth wrapped around his head.From the coffin to the tomb, it was carried around three times and placed in the middle.The soil was buried little by little, and Yao kept praying.I hope there is a peaceful and beautiful world over there, where there are kittens playing with grandma, so that grandma is not lonely.I hope grandma eats and sleeps well every day, and won't be sore all over in rainy days.
"Makoto, did you sleep well last night?" Makoto, who was also wrapped in a white cloth on her head, had two dark circles under her eyes.
"Slept well!"
Deceiving.
"Makoto, I'm really sorry. What happened yesterday." It's better to apologize formally to Makoto.
"What's the matter?" Makoto pretended to be stupid, so Yao didn't want to mention it again.
The parents tactfully proposed to take Haruka to Tokyo, but Haruka didn't say anything, but began to pack things silently.
Makoto, who has been sickly since she was a child, has a weak personality.His family background is good, his grades are good, and he is well-behaved and sensible, all of which have become the reasons for him to be bullied.
Children aren't all hopeful, loving, innocent, beautiful creatures, even though Haruka and Makoto are.All along, Makoto would hide behind Yao when she was wronged.
After leaving like this, Makoto...will be bullied, right?
I don’t know how many times I can see the sea of Yanyuan.Sitting far away on the beach where she and Makoto have played together for eight years, the red sun is slowly falling, dyeing the western sky red.
There is nothing I can do about the idiot brother who has been taking the neighbor's house.A few years ago, Haruka often disliked Makoto and ran around with Makoto on his back.Glancing back habitually, she found that Makoto was no longer on her back.
Suddenly Makoto's cry was heard.On the other side of the beach, Makoto fought with several children.
It's those people who often bully Makoto, with a dirty mouth: "Tachibana, what are you proud of, that guy Nanase just died grandma, and he will go to Tokyo to eat and drink spicy food in a short time. Damn you! He doesn't want you! Let's see who you will hide behind in the future!"
The telekinetic reflex is ready to rush over.
What will Makoto do when she is gone in the future?Can't... protect him for the rest of his life.
The legs were filled with lead.Lifting his head feebly, he looked at Makoto who was struggling not far away.
"Nonsense! Xiaoyao didn't want me! You are not allowed to speak ill of Xiaoyao and his grandma! You bastards!" Zhenqin broke out and wrestled with those people.
A child who was much taller and taller than Zhenqin gave Zhenqin a hard push, and Zhenqin staggered a few steps back and fell to the ground.The man grabbed Makoto by the collar and shook his fist, and the rest of the people punched and kicked Makoto.Makoto roared with a ferocious expression, and kicked the man away.
Haruka was stunned.It was the first time Makoto fought back like this.In the past, it was always me who was responsible for fighting back, so I often got Band-Aids all over my face.When she came back to her senses, Makoto had already pressed the child back on the ground and strangled her neck.
"It's okay to speak ill of me, but I won't let you speak ill of Xiaoyao and grandma!" "Just say it! Nanase boy!" Another child rushed over, and Makoto slapped him to the ground.Looking at the nosebleed of the man in his hand, Makoto stood there in a daze.
What are you doing in a daze!The people behind are calling again!
Makoto turned her head viciously, and walked towards those people step by step.The steps are heavy and firm.
Makoto is not born weak.
"Xiaoyao, I'm really good. I beat five people away by myself. I can protect myself now, and no one dares to bully me anymore. Xiaoyao...you can go to Tokyo with confidence." With scratches on his face, bruised nose and swollen eyes, and blood on his hands, he limped towards him, "Let's go home."
He's trying to learn...to be independent from himself.
Makoto, really tried my best.
"..."
"Xiaoyao, don't cry." Even though she was hurt like this, she forced a smile to comfort herself.Not even daring to look at that face again, Haruka followed Makoto with her head down.Limping and walking slowly, Makoto under the setting sun is Yao's lifelong hero.
The two families were already physically and mentally exhausted, so they didn't blame them too much.Yao went home to have dinner with his parents, without talking the whole time.Parents have not had a good rest for nearly four or five days, and they kept vigil all night the day before yesterday.Yao didn't know what answer he would get when he proposed to stay in Yanyuan at this time, or what kind of blow it would bring to his parents, so he could only hesitate to speak again and again.
It was the evening of the third day when I really made up my mind to reject my parents' request.Haruka came back from the beach again, passed by Makoto's house downstairs, raised his head habitually, and met Makoto's gaze.
The four eyes met, Makoto's expression didn't change at all.With a little expectation, calm and sad.
For the next six to seventy years, Zhenqin would stand on the window sill every day, hoping that one day she would come back and rush towards him.Knowing that there is no way to wait, but waiting like this for a lifetime.Watching the tide, I waited and waited, but only waited until my phantom, and then smiled and said to the phantom, welcome back.
This is too cruel.
There is no Makoto in life, eating, sleeping, going to school, swimming, living by the rules.Without a soul, you can only live alone with loneliness in your arms.Forcibly withdraw everything about Makoto from the body, leaving only an empty shell.People who have been closely connected with themselves since birth have already become a part of themselves without knowing it.
Even if Zhenqin tries hard to be independent from herself, no matter whether she succeeds or not, she... can't do without Zhenqin at all.
Eight-year-old Haruka discovered this.In the days to come, he still could not get rid of this curse.
If it's not Makoto, it won't work.
Although living alone is hard, isn't Makoto still there?
Haruka rushed into Makoto.
"I'm not going to Tokyo anymore."
Makoto was still by the window, without looking back. "Stop talking nonsense, Xiaoyao."
"No." Haruka panted, "I want... to be with Makoto all the time."
"Xiaoyao will be very lonely if she is not with her parents. Tokyo is very prosperous, and there are many delicious and interesting things. Xiaoyao will be very happy. Xiaoyao will meet many interesting friends and be happy every day."
After a pause, "Mom and Dad said that they will have younger brothers and sisters to play with me." Zhenqin turned her head.With a face full of scars, she smiled with tears in her eyes, "So, don't worry about me."
"My hometown is Yanyuan, and my grandma is in Yanyuan."
Makoto is in Yanyuan.
"Without Makoto, I... can't do it."
"So, don't chase me away, okay?"
Makoto looked at Haruka steadily.
"I'm always led by Xiaoyao's will. Xiaoyao...stay here. Am I...very sensible."
"Is everything ready, Haruka?" Makoto looked at Haruka's canvas bag dubiously, "Don't bring a box?"
"Need not."
"Have you brought your mobile phone? There are earphones and chargers, ID cards, spare money on the road. Ah! Don't forget to bring your air ticket!" Zhenqin dumped the things in the remote bag on the bed and checked everything. "What canned mackerel to bring!"
"Mackerel, I only eat Yanyuan's." All my life, I only look for the taste of Yanyuan's mackerel, which is the taste of my hometown.
"Okay, don't bring any of them. It's taking up space." Makoto seemed a little annoyed, and Haruka didn't make a sound.
Although it sometimes feels annoying, but never does not listen to him, Makoto is like a mother in every detail.
It started raining before we went out.Makoto was carrying Yao's bag, carrying her handbag, and holding an umbrella.
"It's fine for me to carry it." Yao looked at the umbrella leaning towards him, "Your side is already wet."
No matter how much it rains, they only hold an umbrella. This is also one of their tacit understandings.Although Rin and Zongsuke complained about this move countless times, the two of them didn't get any better. It's stupid to run happily in the rain without an umbrella.
"Yao has an exam, so you can't catch a cold." Makoto tilted the umbrella a little more towards Yao, "Besides, it's very uncomfortable not to do this." Makoto is a special existence.To use Nagisa's inappropriate metaphor, it probably emits light and heat like a kotatsu in winter, and it will be warm as long as you get close to it.
I have accepted the warmth of this person for nearly 18 years, and I want to return the same warmth to him.
Autumn rain is a bit cold.Going a little closer to Makoto.Sure enough, it was much warmer.
The two walked to the station, took the tram to the county, and then took a taxi to the airport.It was still raining, and Makoto was worried about the delay of the flight.The car was not very new, it drove very slowly, and the wipers rattled.Looking at the rain curtain outside the car window.
I'm worried, but I think it's good that it's raining like this.
"Yao really likes water, and thinks it's good when it rains." Makoto laughed.
"Hey, don't guess people's minds casually."
After going to Tokyo, I won't see Makoto in a short time.
Let it rain harder, or the flight will be delayed.It doesn't matter every minute or every second, I want to stay by Makoto's side more.
Makoto's unique "Nanase Haruka Radar" that Nagisa and the others use to talk about things every day, sometimes works very well, and sometimes it stops working.Let's stop working for a while now.
"Got it. Are Haruka hungry?" Makoto took out a can of mackerel from the handbag, opened it and handed it to Haruka, "Eat it."
"Eh?"
"If you don't eat it, I will eat it."
Yao grabbed it and ate it.It would be nice to have more of such little surprises.
When we arrived at the airport, the rain had gradually subsided, and the flight was not delayed.
Bad mood.
I only carried a canvas bag, so no checked luggage was required.Time passed quickly, Yao slowed down as much as possible, and still reached the security checkpoint.
"Come on for the exam." Makoto stopped in her tracks.
"Yeah." Haru turned back.
Still the same warm smile.
Makoto, what do you think?
Will you be sad because you can't see yourself?
"Haruka is so good, there must be no problem."
"Ah."
It was still the same clothes.
Flying back to Tokyo from Australia, I dare not look into Makoto's eyes.Makoto who picked up the plane said "Welcome back" with a smile that almost melted herself, as if everything can be tolerated and forgiven.Haruka suddenly hoped that the current smile would be mixed with other things, such as reluctance, such as worry.
For example, nostalgia.
"Contact my uncle and aunt. They have already asked for leave. You will see them when you get off the plane in Tokyo." Makoto's smile disappeared and she lowered her head.After a long while, he raised his face, "Hey, I'm finally going to see Mom and Dad, isn't Haruka very happy?"
Suddenly, the scarred and smiling face appeared in front of him, overlapping with Makoto in front of him.The same expression and the same mood can never be wrong.Makoto who clumsily tries to hide her feelings, Makoto who is obviously lonely but pretends to be indifferent, Makoto who is scarred but tries to pretend to be smiling... I hate it the most, but also like it the most.
"remote?"
"Real piano."
"Ok?"
"Go back and take a hot bath quickly, don't catch a cold if you get wet."
"Yeah. Thanks Haruka."
Neither of them spoke anymore.
Noisy footsteps, unemotional electronic notifications, dialogues in various accents.In the crowd, the two looked at the floor and settled there.
Couples of lovers around embraced and kissed each other, wiping away tears.The airport has always had a strong parting atmosphere.Indeed, after stepping through that security checkpoint, many people will miss it all their lives, or never see each other again.
"It's only going for half a month." Yao looked up, "Don't worry too much."
"Yeah." Makoto also looked up, "Get off the plane and tell me you're safe, sure."
Falling into awkward silence again.
Just a hug.If you are willing to give it, I will hold you tightly.
"It's too late for Yao. Have a good trip." Makoto waved at Yao.
"Ah."
Remote turned to leave.
Through the security checkpoint, you can finally look back.Makoto was still there, her hands froze in the air.
Can't see the expression clearly.Intuition told Haruka that there was no smile on Makoto's face.
He looked at Zhenqin for a while, and Zhenqin slowly put down his hand.
If you have time to stand here, why don't you give yourself a hug just now?
Just going to the exam is not life or death.Haruka felt ridiculous at his own thoughts.
A rainbow of seven colors appears in the sky after the rain.The sky was washed blue by the rain, pure blue.The plane climbed slowly, leaning against the porthole.The terminal building gradually becomes smaller, and the mountains and the sea become microcosms.
Clouds below, blue sky above.Free as a bird.
Backstroke Makoto, is this what you see?This embraces all comforting blues.
To Makoto, I want to be an existence similar to the sky, and I want to be his solid support and backing.It would be great if Makoto could feel at ease with her own existence.
Is it really possible?
The sky tolerates Makoto, but Makoto doesn't need to protect the sky.Yao's heart sank.
For the first time, the unchanging blue sky made Haruka feel uneasy. "I want to go to a place that is not far away." Makoto really said so.Although it was a long time ago, no matter how small the seed is, it will take root and germinate.
Without the burden of herself, Makoto's life will be more exciting.
The things in front of him became less and less clear, and he slammed his head against the porthole.The uncle next to him glanced at him.Haruka sat down quickly and stopped looking out the window.
After drinking a glass of water, I fell asleep thinking wildly.
TBC