woman and sea

Chapter 13

After talking nonsense about what he knew and what he didn't know to Haicao, before he had time to enjoy the sense of accomplishment that made people stupefied, Yang Fan suddenly thought of his immediate priority.

——"That's right, now is not the time to imitate the old man and make up stories to bluff people!"

Bragging can be done at any time, this is secondary.The most important thing now is to equip yourself with the basic knowledge to survive in this world.

The language can be put aside for the time being, because there is a compass, so there is no need to worry about it for the time being.

What matters most now are the "rules of the game".The so-called "do as the Romans do when they come to the countryside", it is natural that it should be the same when they arrive on a new planet.

In all fairness, Yang Fan very much does not want to conflict with others because of differences in ideology, three views, and cognition.

So, Yang Fan straightened his expression and said to Haicao: "Cao'er, please stop first and say something. --Well, don't worry about adoring me, tell me the rules and specific conditions on this planet first." Huh? I’m afraid that if I’m not careful again, I’ll cause trouble when I go out.”

Of course, Yang Fan is even more afraid that she will never be able to return to Earth, so this is also a preparation for the future settlement.

"—Anyway, Xiaosheng still hopes that Haicao girl can know everything and say nothing... Well, you should pick the key point...Say... Xiaosheng, thank you in advance—"

Said, Yang Fan stood up, clasped his fists in both hands, bowed to Haicao, and made a ninety-degree salute in an upright manner.

"Ah ah ah ah ah?!--"

But the seaweed jumped up as if being hit by an awl, backed up again and again with a groaning voice, waved its hands and said, "No, no, no, no!—how can this work?!— —You, you and I are both daughters, how can I, how can I marry you?... No, no, no... This is impossible... It doesn't make sense..."

"Eh?...What's going on?..." Yang Fan was taken aback by the sudden change of sea grass's painting style, and his scalp went numb all the way to his heels.

Standing in a daze for a long time, Yang Fan finally came back to his senses a little bit, so he asked cautiously: "No...that's... Xiaocao'er... I, when will I propose to you?" Oh...why don't I know?..."

"Eh?!—Oh... almost forgot, you're an alien..."

Haicao breathed a sigh of relief belatedly, and calmed down a little: "Phew...it's because I forgot to tell you just now. ——That's right, this etiquette of clasping fists and bowing is when a man proposes to a woman. used, so—”

"Nana Nana - Nani?! -"

Hearing this, Yang Fan suddenly opened his eyes the size of a cow bell, and wailed in horror.

Her reaction was even more exaggerated than Hai Cao's reaction just now.

——Now she finally understands, no wonder she was frightened and ran away when she thanked the seaweed before.

"Whew...where are there more monkeys..."

He stared fiercely at his eyes, gasped for several breaths, and calmed down. Yang Fan put his hands on his heart and said slowly: "Oh, yes, what is the thumbs up gesture I made before?" translated?"

Haicao lowered her eyes, pursed her lips, lowered her voice, and replied cautiously: "That...that gesture...is usually used by bandits. ——I thought what you wanted to say was to ask me to give you a piece." If you don't give me such a large amount of gold, you will kill me..."

Seaweed seemed to be afraid, for fear that if it made a louder noise, it would really attract bandits.

and so--

The sign language of "grateful heart" is translated here as "give me a big piece of gold".

The gesture of thumbs up is translated here as killing people and wiping their necks—of course, simply giving a thumbs up does not mean killing people and wiping their necks.Thumbs up just represents the neck and head of a person. The complete gesture is to use the index finger of the left hand instead of a knife, and rub it against the thumb of the right hand, which means wiping the neck with a knife.But over time, it was simplified to the meaning of giving a thumbs up to kill.

Yang Fan's face was full of black lines, and he stroked his forehead and sighed: "Uh..."

——"OHSHIT... no wonder..."

No wonder this little girl ran so fast before, after a long time, it was such a scene...

——"Well, if it's me, I'll run too..."

Yang Fan complained secretly in his heart.

Haicao saw Yang Fan's blank face, as if she had lost her soul, so she stretched out her arm, waved her palm in front of her eyes, and carefully asked: "Xiaofan?... Are you... all right?"

Yang Fan swallowed his saliva, nodded indifferently, and said with a dull expression: "Oh... ah... um... It's okay, it's okay... It's a good thing I met a girl... What if I meet a girl The old man who returned from Yuehe, if I compare my heart to him like this, I must ask him to slap his head to death... SHIT... scared my mother to death..."

Haicao saw that she looked funny, so she covered her lips and smiled, waved her hands, and said softly: "Okay, Xiaofan, here, let me teach you how to salute. ——Look, it looks like this." , Haicao put his right palm on his chest and bowed slightly.Then, he straightened up, smiled and said, "Here, it's very simple——"

Yang Fan imitated her appearance and imitated her movements stiffly, then straightened up, nodded, and muttered in a vague voice: "Yes, I will..."

Haicao smiled and nodded approvingly.Immediately, as if thinking of something again, he raised his head to look at the sky, and said to Yang Fan: "Xiaofan, let's go back quickly, and I'll tell you about the rest when we get back. ——The rice on the pot is going to be cold, we have to Just eat it quickly."

Yang Fan nodded: "Well, well..."

So, the two walked towards the tent one after the other.

After walking two steps, Yang Fan seemed to have thought of something again, so he clenched his fist and pressed it to his lips, coughed twice in embarrassment, and said hesitantly: "That... Xiaocaoer..."

"Huh?" Haicao turned around, raised her eyebrows slightly, and asked, "What's wrong?"

Yang Fan grinned, scratched his head with a dry smile, and said with embarrassment: "Well... just... just me... Don't look at me dressed like a man, in fact... I'm really not Gay...”

Seeing the sea grass looking at him in a daze, Yang Fan straightened his waist again, pointed to the sky, and swore solemnly: "Really! I swear to God! My sexual orientation is normal! Heaven and earth Conscience, the sun and the moon can learn from each other! I, Yang Fan, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely—heterosexual!—"

When he said this, Yang Fan seemed to have fallen into a pile of wheat awns, and there was no place on his body that was not stabbed.

"Eh? Why did you explain to me? I didn't doubt you. Besides, hasn't the misunderstanding been resolved? - I won't be wary of you, so don't worry." Haicao Xingtong Liuguang , and smiled brightly at Yang Fan.

Only then did Yang Fan breathe a sigh of relief, clasped his hands together, and said in a low voice, "Amitabha... Hallelujah... that's good... that's good..."

Seeing Yang Fan's ridiculous appearance, Haicao couldn't help asking, "Xiaofan, you seem to care about this?"

Yang Fan bulged his cheeks, sighed after all, nodded sullenly, and said with a sad face: "Well...Actually, I'm a little homophobic..."

Haicao frowned slightly, puzzled: "'Homophobia'? What is that?..."

——The alien in front of him opened and shut his mouth with all kinds of weird words. As a very ancient seaweed, he really couldn't keep up.

Yang Fan curled his lips helplessly, spread his hands and said, "Well... the full name is 'homophobia'. ——Because I cut my long hair before I went to college, so when I went to school, I had short hair It looked like. Later, I participated in a few social clubs—by the way, I was the vice president of the martial arts club.—And then...then...then...a female classmate came...to confess to me. ...As time went on, I became very sensitive, and when I heard the word 'homosexual', I felt tingly all over my body, and I felt uncomfortable. …"

Speaking of this, she put her four fingers together again, and solemnly swear to the sky: "The conscience of heaven and earth, the sun and the moon can learn from each other! ——Although I, Yang Fan, am not a little fresh meat or a beautiful boy, I also have a dream lover!— —Such as Zheng He, such as Schwarzenegger, such as Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Li Yunlong.”

Seeing her serious appearance, Haicao couldn't help but chuckled, nodded and said, "Okay—I know.—Besides, your voice is so beautiful, if I don't look back at your face, I will definitely draw it in my mind. Come out to a girl with fluttering long hair and beautiful appearance.——" Haicao restrained her smile, looked at Yang Fan sincerely, and said warmly, "Xiaofan, I think you are a very cute girl .”

Hearing this, Yang Fan couldn't help being overjoyed.Nai lowered his eyes, rubbed his nose pretending to be reserved, smiled shyly, and said in a muffled voice, "Hey hey...how can it be—"

——"That's right! I, Daxia Yang, is clearly a very cute girl! ——Those people are blind!...You are the only 'handsome T', your whole family is 'handsome T', okay!  … …snort!"

Although she is calm on the surface, her inner drama is very magnificent.

"There is—"

Haicao giggled, put his hands behind his back, turned around lightly, and said softly to Yang Fan who was following behind him, "By the way, Xiaofan, I'm a little curious, you Why did you cut your hair so short? I think you will look good with your long hair."

Yang Fan was so beautiful, he just stood there showing his big teeth with a dog mouth without restraint, his big mouth almost reached the ears.

However, her voice was extremely calm, without the slightest ups and downs: "I cut my hair so short to attend classes at the Maritime University."

Yang Fan, who is in the late stage of ADHD, was called a "tomboy" by others since he was a child.After growing long hair, it is not immune. Although it is not called a "tomboy" anymore, it has become a "manly woman".

——This is the first time that Yang Fan has been called a "cute girl" since Yang Fan grew up.

Could she be unhappy?

I'm so happy!

Haicao didn't look back, just raised his eyebrows, and asked softly, "Eh? Why?"

Yang Fan sighed softly, shrugged his shoulders, curled his lips, and said helplessly: "When I was very young, I decided to grow up to be a sailor. But when I grew up, I discovered that our country's nautical profession They don’t recruit girls. Then I was very sad, and I was still at home having sex with our old lady, trying to collect some money from her, and then go for sex reassignment surgery and become a man—”

Haicao's pupils shrank, as if shocked: "Oh? Can the body of the daughter's family be replaced by the body of the man's family?"

Yang Fan nodded and said: "Well, yes. - Let me tell you, the science and technology on our earth is well developed. If it weren't for moral and ethical concerns, scientists would have long ago - that is, 'created' humans coming."

Hearing this, Haicao staggered and almost tripped.

She turned around tremblingly, looked at Yang Fan in astonishment, and asked stupidly: "Creating...human beings?..."

Yang Fan stopped, and nodded lightly: "En."

"Wow!...so amazing!..."

"Of course it's miraculous. Our place is at least three or four thousand years ahead of yours."

"Oh my god... 4000 years..."

"Well, isn't that right?——Then I continued to talk. Our old lady definitely won't let me, and then she reasoned with me, moved her with emotion, and used various 'material temptations' to corrupt me. Finally After all, I couldn't resist the temptation and agreed to her condition.

So, I stopped transgendering, I stopped being a sailor, and I changed my life goal to be a physical education teacher.Later, I was admitted to the university I told you just now, and then I went to Dalian.

Because our old lady bought me a house there, so I went more than half a month in advance.And I've been living there ever since.During the period, I met several groups of tenants who were interested in renting, and finally I rented out the house when the school started.

During this period, I have been on the forum and Tieba—well, it is a communication tool, you can think of it as "letter transmission" or "flying pigeon transmission" or the like—anyway, during this period, I will There I kept in touch with a senior from the Maritime University.

It wasn't until before the start of school that I finally decided to cut my hair. I was thinking about asking that senior to help me get a sailor uniform and let me pretend to be a man and go to the Maritime University for a while.

Thanks to my 'growth in height but not in chest', I successfully sneaked into the class of 'navigation technology' which was all boys, and I even sat in on the class for more than a year. ——Well, that's probably how things went.Well, you see, I did this out of desperation.

Speaking of which, at the beginning, I was actually thinking about abducting the senior, that is, the old guy Li Yuanhang, to make me a good friend.We have sent each other pictures before. —and I cut my hair, and after meeting him—OH! SHIT! ——That straight male cancer actually said that he always regarded me as his younger sister! ——How the hell did he always treat his old lady as his younger sister? !

Well! ...every day when you have nothing to do, you send text messages to my aunt to ask about your health, but in the end you actually tell me that you have always regarded me as a younger sister? !What do I have to believe? !What a fucking Demacia! "

After blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Sighing, Yang Fan shrugged his shoulders, and added two more sentences: "By the way, Brother Hang is a junior this year, and he has already signed up for the postgraduate entrance examination. I was thinking about telling him when he was admitted to graduate school, 'Wait for me to grow my hair. Waist-high, it would be nice for a young man to marry me'.——As a result, before the postgraduate exam, I somehow traveled to this place where no shit..."

Seagrass stretched his nostrils, snorted softly, stretched out his hand to touch the tender flesh on Yang Fan's waist, and twisted it down, and said in a hateful voice: "Bah! What's a 'place where birds don't shit'?! We're doing well here! "

Yang Fan bulged his cheeks like a baboon, and he didn't know whether it was because of the pain or suppressed laughter.

With a smile on her lips, Haicao continued: "Hey, Xiaofan, but you paid a lot of money to audit the class. ——If it were me, I would rather not attend the class than Cut off your long hair."

Yang Fan nodded, deeply convinced: "Well! Who said it wasn't!...I'm really not bragging, my ponytail back then reached the crest of the elbow, it was so long!—"

Yang Fan gestured with his teeth and claws while talking, for fear that Haicao might not understand his "talking spirit".

"It won't take another three to five years, I really have long hair reaching my waist! - Think about it, I sold that hair for 800 yuan! - Even if it's a meal Meat can be eaten in the cafeteria for a whole month! That's a lot of money!"

Haicao smiled, nodded and said, "Okay—I understand." After thinking for a while, Haicao asked again, "Oh, yes, Xiaofan, do you like the sea very much?"

Yang Fan called in an instant, his eyes widened suddenly, he nodded obediently and said: "Yes! That must be done! ——I, Yang Fan, Hero Yang was born for the ocean. Yes! The daughter of the sea! ——I, Hero Yang, is the son of the sea. daughter!"

Haicao covered her lips with one hand, chuckled softly, and said, "Xiaofan, why do you like the sea so much?"

"Well..." Yang Fan frowned, raised his arm and poked his cheek with his right index finger, tilted his head slightly, thought for a while, and said in a muffled voice: "Why do you like it?... I don't know why, anyway. I just like it. If it rises to the ideological level... it should be regarded as a kind of "faith". ——Here, just like others praying to God and worshiping Buddha. Praying to God and worshiping Buddha can give them something to rely on in their hearts. I think about the ocean in my heart, and I There is also support in my heart."

"Hee hee, this statement is quite new."

"Well, in fact, I think that the so-called faith really doesn't have to be attributed to a certain saint or a certain god. As long as you can rely on something, be in awe, and urge yourself not to do bad things, I think that's fine. ——Anyway, in my personal opinion, I don’t think it’s just worshiping a certain god that is called faith. With those hours of burning incense and worshiping Buddha, kneeling three times and kneeling nine times, I can grow several trees. ——Here, look, isn’t the nature-loving 'harmony of man and nature' also a kind of belief—”

"Hee—Xiaofan, you're really interesting."

"Hey...wait..." Yang Fan said with some belated hesitation, "I said Xiaocaoer, you seem...you have been calling me 'Xiaofan' since just now....Say ?”

Haicao nodded, and said innocently, "Well, what's wrong? Is there something wrong?"

"Where! Li! Both! No! Yes!" Yang Fan raised his eyebrows with a ferocious expression.

"What... what's wrong?..." Seaweed's fine hair exploded, and he was very frightened.

Yang Fan stood up straight, folded his arms, raised his chin with a little coercion, and said pretending to be serious: "Here, look, I am eight years older than you. Logically speaking, you should call me 'big sister' ’ That’s right. ——But, this ‘big sister’ sounds weird and old.…Then why not, you can just call me ‘お姐さま’—”

"Once... what?..."

"お, sis, さ, ま.—It means 'sister elder sister'.——Hey, hey, hey...quick, come and listen to the sound.——"

Yang Fan bared his big dog teeth, rubbed his hands together, and waited for Haicao's answer with a smirk on his face.

"I pinch... Shall I?" Haicao tried her best to imitate Yang Fan's pronunciation.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!—"

When Yang Fan heard this, his scalp exploded instantly.It was as if an electric current had flowed through her, numb from the back of her head to her heels.Immediately afterwards, Yang Fan's knees gave way, and he was about to collapse to the ground.

Fortunately, Haicao supported her armpits quickly, which made her stand still.

"Xiao...Xiaofan, are you alright?..." Seaweed asked bravely.

Yang Fan tightly clutched the front of his left chest with his right hand, tightly covering the back of his right hand with his left hand, with a face of intoxication and bewilderment, and muttered inarticulately: "Mu... Mu thing... um... something... Son... something important... I'm going to die from poison..."

It's not so much that Yang Fan's state at the moment seems to be a precursor to death from poison, it's better to say that her current doggy appearance is like drinking too much soapy water, and she is so beautiful that it is bubbling.

——Her gaze became more and more blurred, and her consciousness became more and more distant...

"Snapped--"

The seaweed slapped her just in time.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Haicao raised her arm to support her chin, frowned slightly, and carefully sized up Yang Fan: "Xiaofan, what's wrong with you? Do you want me to help you? ——Oh! Terrible! Don't be fooled by Have you been stung by a poisonous insect?! Quickly let me see, where did you get stung—"

Saying so, Haicao was about to pick off Yang Fan's clothes.

"Hmm, don't touch me, I hate—" Yang Fan slapped Haicao's slender hands away with his paw, and twisted her like a little wife.

The seaweed "DUANG" suddenly turned into an annoying dog, and stood on the spot in a daze.

"...I didn't get bitten by bugs, I just sounded the cancer offender, hehehe..."

——Yang Fan is laughing very annoyingly now.

How annoying is it?

It's the kind of disgust that "makes people want to paste her face with the soles of their shoes".

Seagrass scratched her head in embarrassment, and asked hesitantly: "'Voice-controlled cancer'?...What kind of strange disease is this?...Why do I feel that you are now possessed by a demon, and become a monster? Are you stupefied?—” Suddenly, Haicao had a thought, clapped his palms and said, “Ah! I remembered!—Master Shisong once said that if people run into evil, they should pour black blood on them -"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!—"

Yang Fan was startled, and immediately gave a big jerk, and jumped back a step.Then he straightened his arms nervously, raised his right palm, and made a "forbidden" gesture with an obedient expression.Then, she leaned on her heels again, straightened her body with a "bass", pulled a "News Network"-style poker face, and said seriously: "Here, look, I'm fine."

She is indeed well.

Now, her eyes are no longer blurred, her body is no longer weak, and even her thinking has resumed functioning.

Haicao subconsciously pursed her lips, frowned, and asked in confusion, "Eh?...Xiaofan, just now...didn't you say you were poisoned?..."

"Well, it's poisoned.—Poisoned by your voice."

"Eh? Sound... Can it poison people?..." Haicao deeply felt that he could no longer keep up with the thinking jump of the alien in front of him.

"Yes! That must be!" Yang Fan nodded decisively and solemnly, then sighed pretentiously, patted Haicao's shoulder, and said in a deep voice: "I said big sister suck, sincerely say, tsk tsk , Your voice is so nice. Really, it’s a pity that you don’t want to be a voice actor. ——Oh...it’s a pity that you have such a good voice like Zhishi...Be more kissable!..."

"'Zhishi'?..." In less than half a day, Haicao's brain cells died even more than in her previous life.

Yang Fan clasped his fingers, flashing a pair of star eyes, made an idiot face, and nodded incessantly: "Yeah, yes, yes! It's just 'Daodaosi Zhishi'."——Emma, ​​it's so simple, too Treat yourself to a kiss! What--"

"So...can I listen to it as a compliment?..." Seagrass stood there with a strong body, trying to prevent herself from falling on the beach.

Now she has a headache and stares at her eyes.

If only she had an oxygen machine at hand right now...

Yang Fan didn't change his idiot face, and continued to nod there: "Yes, yes! It must be possible! ——This is a compliment! A true compliment!—"

"Gollum—"

Just as he was about to continue talking nonsense, suddenly, Yang Fan's stomach let out a melodious cry.

Yang Fan's body trembled, his head went numb all the way to his heels.

——Here is a capitalized "Okay! Throw! People!"

"Hee hee..." Haicao covered her lips with one hand, chuckled, and explained her ridicule: "Okay, Xiaofan, you've been jumping up and down to consume energy just now, it's reasonable to be hungry. ——Here, let's hurry up Go back. The fire on the stove must have been extinguished, and now I really want to eat cold food."

Yang Fan scratched his head, sticking out his tongue embarrassingly, and said in a very restrained voice: "Mmm...OK..."

So, she followed the seaweed step by step, and walked obediently towards the tent.

It wasn't that far away, but the two of them chatted casually one after another, and the other accidentally walked the distance for a long time.

Holding the lotus in small steps, walking shyly behind the seaweed, Yang Fan couldn't help thinking in his heart: "Perhaps, the future life—of course, the life during the 'stay' on this planet in the future seems to be It won't be too boring..."

The author has something to say: ah... so good Ji Mo...

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