Want and want

Chapter 8

For Teng Ning, it was crazy because of a nightmare. In the second half of the night, he sat beside the bed stupidly, and the pen tip scratched the paper to make a rustling sound.He was so excited that after writing a short piece of music, his whole body felt sticky.The thin pajamas were soaked and dried with sweat, leaving an unpleasant feeling in contact with the skin. He simply took a bath again and fell asleep again after coming out.

It was not until the next day that Teng Ning realized that his handwriting on the paper changed from clear to messy, probably because he was sleepy, but luckily he could still see what he wanted to express.He folded the things into small pieces and stuffed them in his pocket, not intending to hand them in as homework.By the way, he didn't prepare food for Teng Mushan this morning, but depending on the situation, the other party shouldn't care too much, only he is worried.

But unexpectedly, Teng Ning left the room, at this time Teng Mushan was actually reading in the living room, when he heard the sound, he raised his eyes to look at him.Thinking of last night, Teng Ning felt a little awkward, turned his face away and pretended nothing happened.It was sunny after the rain, a few clothes were hanging alone on the balcony, and the sunlight slanted in, lengthening their shadows.He hesitated for a moment, but still helped to put it in the washing machine, and the low humming sound broke the constant silence.

Teng Mushan really forgot, and rubbed his brows: "You can remind me."

"It's okay." Teng Ning replied in a low voice, and then asked suspiciously, "Are you on vacation today?"

"It's compensation." The other party paused, but did not explain more to him.

However, Teng Ning had already learned the whole story from other people, nodded, and straightened the photo frame on the top of the cabinet that fell down somehow.This was put by my aunt, and there was a picture of him when he graduated from high school, with a fake smile.Teng Mushan didn't come that day, and it was said that there was an important patient who needed him, but Teng Ning felt that even if the other party was free, he would not make a special trip.

In fact, there are fewer photos of Teng Mushan, because he doesn't like to express himself, and he especially hates being pointed at.A few years ago, the hospital set up a display column for excellent experts at the request of the higher authorities. Everyone else readily agreed, but Teng Mushan refused. In the end, the hospital reluctantly used his ID photo when he joined the company, which is very handsome. .

At that time, Teng Ning liked him so much that he secretly ran to take pictures.He has a necklace left by his mother, and the pendant can be opened, which can barely hold a small photo.The word "Ning" was engraved on the pendant, which was bought by his mother when she was pregnant. She thought it was a daughter in her stomach, but later found out that it was a son, so she simply kept it as a toy for him.Teng Ning learned "Preface to the Pavilion of the King of Teng" after he went to high school, and there happened to be a sentence in it, "The smoke condenses and the mountains are purple at dusk", which combined his and Teng Mushan's names, so he cherished this necklace even more.

Occasionally he would think, did his mother use this allusion to name him?And Teng Mushan, they should have a good relationship at the beginning, but how did they become alienated later?It's a pity that no one has answered these questions, so he can only hide them in his heart, touching the pendant on his chest from time to time.

When I first met Bai Xingchi, the other party thought it was a gift from his partner, pointing at the word "condensation" and smiling strangely.After learning that he made a mistake, this guy was very playful and made fun of him with this name that obviously belonged to a girl, but he beat him up before he changed his name to Dad.

It was rare to be in the same room with Teng Mushan so peacefully, but Teng Ning felt uncomfortable, so he had to turn on the TV and change to another channel that was broadcasting a variety show.On the screen, the hostess grinned exaggeratedly, the fluorescent lipstick looked a little scary, and then the audience applauded stiffly, the whole picture was very weird.He tried to concentrate, but was defeated within a few minutes, and the corner of his eye frequently glanced at the hand of the person next to him.

Since he didn't dare to get too close, Teng Ning couldn't read the contents of the book clearly, and caught a few words here and there, guessing that it was another medical book.Neither of them spoke, the sound of the TV echoed in the living room, Teng Ning turned his face away, after watching a commercial, it seemed to turn into a talk show, like a round table meeting, those people can quickly develop from a discussion to a heated discussion that does not know the truth quarrel.

Someone patted the table: "...This is an act of arrogance and ignorance!"

The other person folded his arms and raised his chin proudly: "Aren't humans also animals? This is an instinct, and we should accept it, not resist it."

"Because we know self-control, we are completely different from those beasts. I support restraint. Everyone has the freedom to choose true love."

"Can't be avoided, have to dance in chains, can't be avoided!"

Another person interjected: "But isn't love a chemical reaction of hormones?"

After watching for a while, Teng Ning finally understood that the subject of this group of people's debate was whether human beings should let estrus go, or use drugs and tools to suppress it.Whether the estrus period is a matchmaker that promotes the harmony of water and milk, or a poisonous apple full of temptation, there is still no conclusion yet.

When he came back to his senses, the so-called experts had already started arguing about various social issues extended from the estrus period. For example, conservatives insisted that the three attributes of Alpha, Beta, and Omega are always arranged in a pyramid-shaped position, while the younger generation advocates freedom more And equality, scoff at such remarks.

Teng Ning thought of Liu Sirui. When he was in high school, the other party vowed to marry the gentle Omega, but in the end he found an Alpha as beautiful as a begonia, and he was willing to submit to others.And that woman hard-heartedly gave up her glands for love, and also gave up the supposedly blissful and joyful intercourse during estrus. Perhaps for her, Liu Sirui is better than those people and is unique.

Another commercial, the quarrel came to an end, and the young star holding a box of contraceptive pills with a smile came into view of Teng Ning.Along with the estrus period comes fertility. Take Beta as an example, it can not only make Omega pregnant, but also give birth to Alpha, but its ability in this aspect is lower than both.

It is said that in the very long past, there was still a one-to-many marriage relationship, and the dominant Alpha would have Omega and Beta lovers at the same time, in order to ensure offspring and satisfy personal desires.It was also a time when homosexuality was cast aside and considered a sin.However, this situation has completely changed. Teng Ning thought for a while, he probably doesn't like children, but soon he laughed at himself, and the horoscope has not yet been written.

At the end of the talk show, the group of people returned to their polite appearance, as if they were just having a friendly conversation just now. They all understand that different people have different opinions, so the debate is fruitless.

"It's so boring." Tenning said softly.

The hand of Teng Mushan who was taking notes next to him paused. In fact, he didn't worry about thinking in the book just now, and the lines he drew were crooked.He casually glanced at Tenning's side face and said, "This is all a script."

Teng Ning was a little surprised, he responded, and then added: "Actually, some words are quite reasonable. It is better to have a choice than no choice. But I don't need inhibitors either."

"No, Beta has a certain chance of encountering an estrus period that cannot be controlled by itself." Teng Mushan frowned when he heard this. Although it is not his professional field, this knowledge should be common sense to doctors. "The application range of inhibitors is far away." It is wider than you think, and there are many places to study."

"The premise is that there is someone he likes." After saying this, Teng Ning lowered his eyelids, and half a sentence stuck in his throat - that person must accept him, otherwise, such a estrus is just a short-lived ugly gesture.

Teng Mushan was silent for a while.

Sensing that the atmosphere was inexplicably stiff again, Teng Ning felt bored and stood up: "I'll cook." He suddenly remembered that when investigating Yan Qianfang's identity, he seemed to have seen some information that the recently released new inhibitor was from her company's laboratory.Maybe Teng Mushan will be persuaded to get in touch with new fields, who knows.

A few days later, Teng Mushan went to work, and Teng Ning did the cleaning at home very skillfully, because in the dormitory he was mostly cleaning up those late-stage lazy guys.He didn't go into the study, afraid that Teng Mushan would blame him for messing things up, but the other party's bedroom didn't matter, anyway, there weren't many things in it.

Teng Mushan's enthusiasm seems to be poured into his work, the bedroom is as monotonous and indifferent as his whole personality, with dark floors, walls, beds and other furniture are all white, only the lighting is warmer.There are several professional books on the bedside table, with many folded corners, so the cover is slightly arched.

Teng Ning helped him tidy up, and accidentally dropped a copy. When he picked it up, he saw annotations on the edge of the page, saying "environment", "research", "laboratory", etc., probably because the author wrote about it in the postscript. Teng Mushan expressed dissatisfaction at the place where he was working, and Teng Mushan also felt the same way.His handwriting is thinner and sharper than Teng Ning's, and he writes without hesitation, thinking that he has already made a decision in his heart and is just waiting for the time to come.

As for Teng Ning, as an outsider, let alone disagree, he felt guilty even to raise an opinion. Could it be that he wanted to rebel again?As mentioned earlier, he can't have any influence on Teng Mushan at all. Where the other party wants to go and who to spend day and night with, these are all very free.

In the evening, Teng Mushan got off work on time. As usual, he stayed in the study for several hours and didn't come out. It was Teng Ning who couldn't bear to bring coffee before seeing anyone.Teng Mushan seemed to be writing some report. Teng Ning was far away, glanced at it, and only saw clearly the words "applying for..." in it. After a moment, he stood there with blank eyes.

Teng Mushan noticed that the person beside him was still there, and asked suspiciously, "What's the matter?"

"Uncle... has already decided?" Teng Ning did not dare to say it directly, "You used to like clinical work very much."

"Not now." Teng Mushan replied simply.There are some things that he doesn't intend to tell the other party. When he is out of the society, there is always helplessness and discomfort. As his seniority grows, his aversion to these favors and connections with power and wealth becomes stronger.In addition, my emotions are not right recently, so I simply find an excuse to retreat and focus on scientific research.

Teng Ning's chest was choked, and he didn't speak for a long time, staring fixedly at Teng Mushan's somewhat sharp profile.Finally, he gave up asking and left the study in a hurry.

Teng Mushan felt a little surprised, but still focused on typing on the keyboard.He only stopped when he heard the sound of the other party closing the door, and his eyes fell on the line at the end of the paragraph "...applying for transfer to the central laboratory of the hospital".At this time, a new email notification popped up in the lower right corner. It was still a kind invitation from a certain woman. He didn't take a second look and clicked to close.