sunflower bird

Chapter 36

Lu Xiuyuan watched Qi Xi disappear into the room, and looked at the book that was left alone on the side. He stretched out his hand several times and retracted it, but he didn't have the courage to touch that very ordinary book.Time passed by one minute and one second, and the sound of the second hand turning was getting louder and faster in my ears at this moment.

The wind is like a thread with signs, lifting the curtains and raising the moonlight. It is obviously a quiet scene, but when the window hits the wall, it breaks the silence.Lu Xiuyuan, who had been sitting on the bed, was startled suddenly, his pupils dilated several times in an instant, and then he slowly stretched out his hand and gently touched the book, the cover of the book was a little smooth without warmth, Lu Xiuyuan's eyes flickered, and he paused for a moment He slowly put the book on his lap.

He stared at the cover until it was blurred before opening it.The gust of wind came, causing Lu Xiuyuan to squint his eyes, and the swaying hair tips calmly rose and fell.The past is like a sea, swarming to him, surrounding him, the drips like ink are the traces of fainting, little by little, little by little, they came to Lu Xiuyuan's side, that is a story unique to his father.

Lu Xiuyuan flipped through the pages one by one, and the thin paper seemed to be connected to his heartbeat. In the shortest words, he saw his father's love for his mother and himself.

From the happiness of falling in love to the joy of giving birth to him, he even recorded every insignificant growth of Lu Xiuyuan.The first time Lu Xiuyuan opened his eyes, the first time Lu Xiuyuan held his fingers, the first time Lu Xiuyuan smiled... He recorded them all, the sound of paper flipping was soft and slow, until Lu Xiuyuan's eyes that pushed away the clouds and mist, fell A big drop of tears stained the already yellowed paper.Everything came to life at once.

heavy rain on thursday january 1

It rained today, and Chu Chu's wound started to hurt again. I don't know when her illness will recover.She was hurting herself more and more often, and I wondered if I should go to the hospital.

Sunny Friday March 2

Chu Chu went to dance again, but the dance practice room did not cure her, but worsened her condition. When I went to find her, she cut her wrist bloody again, and cried hard when she saw me. He asked me hoarsely why she couldn't dance anymore, the partner next to him turned pale with fright, I thought I should send Chu Chu to the hospital, but I didn't know what to say to Xiu Yuan.

Monday February 2th is cloudy

Today the weather is not very good, the clouds are very thick, Xiuyuan and I had a big fight, he asked me why I sent Chuchu to the hospital, I couldn't answer him, I can only say that his mother is sick and needs to be taken care of, Xiuyuan seems very angry , smashed everything, said that I am not worthy of being a husband or a father.

Tuesday, March 3st with light rain

Today I went to see Chu Chu, and when I went in, I couldn’t bring any sharp objects on my body, including shoelaces and belts. Anyway, I couldn’t bring anything that could be used to commit suicide.I looked at Chu Chu through the glass, and she gained a lot of weight. She was depressed because she was out of shape after giving birth to Xiu Yuan and couldn’t continue to dance. This seems to be an endless loop.On the day I went back, I suffered from insomnia, and what Xiuyuan said was right, I was neither a good husband nor a good father.

Sunny Sunday March 3

Xiuyuan went to dance practice again and injured his ligament.I want to see him, but he probably doesn't want to see me, after all, I'm so against him dancing.I asked Housekeeper Chen to watch it for me. Fortunately, it was not serious. This child is a dance idiot just like her mother.I was a little afraid that Xiuyuan would be like Chuchu, he shouldn't be dancing.

Heavy rain on Wednesday, March 3

The hospital called today, saying that Chuchu was not in good condition, so I went there again, seeing Chuchu's appearance, I regretted sending her to the hospital, she must be very afraid of staying in such a house alone.

Sunny Thursday March 3

I picked up Chu Chu, Xiu Yuan also went home, the three finally had a meal together, Chu Chu was very happy, Xiu Yuan seemed to be in a good mood too.

Monday, February 3th is sunny

Today, there is a problem with the company's project, and I have to go on a business trip for more than a week. I am really worried about Chu Chu and Xiu Yuan.

Tuesday March 3st cloudy

……

The next few days were all about recording work.

Heavy rain on Monday April 4rd

I shouldn't be on a business trip, I shouldn't be on a business trip...

After only writing these few words, the person who wrote them seemed unable to control their own hands, which were crooked and crooked, which was very ugly.

Monday, April 4th is sunny

Xiuyuan said that I should be the one who died.

Tuesday April 4 light rain

Xiuyuan has never been happy again. I plan to take him to a place tomorrow. I specially built a stage for him. He should be happy.He likes to dance so much, I shouldn't stop him, no one can say what will happen in the future, he may not become the second Chuchu.I'm already a failed husband, I don't deserve to be a failed father anymore.I lost my wife and could not lose my son any more.

The diary was broken here, Lu Xiuyuan opened his mouth and couldn't make a sound, he could only let himself burst into tears.

The emotion of this diary is true and sincere. Just looking at the text, it is impossible to imagine that it was written by a person who is a leader in the business world. On the contrary, it is more like an ordinary person. There is no gorgeous rhetoric, and every word is extremely ordinary and childish Yes, rambling about his own life.

He always thought that his father didn't like him, because his father was always very strict with him. Every time he saw him, he always put on a serious expression. Ever since his mother got sick, he also strongly opposed his dancing for no reason. It turned out that his father was afraid of him and His mother loves dancing so persistently, and when something happens, he will fall into the abyss. His father has always been afraid that his son will become his mother, so he is entangled in dancing.

"dad……"

At that time, Lu Xiuyuan lost his mother and hated his father who only knew about work, but he forgot that his father was a man, he wanted to earn money to support his family, and many people under him depended on him for food. He couldn't do whatever he wanted, he Not even time to do what you love.

For a long time, he didn't take a good look at his father. Now that he read this diary, he suddenly remembered that his father's graying hair and wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were always bloodshot. His eyes, and the gradual and frequent smoking, it turned out that his father was not sad, but secretly sad.

Lu Xiuyuan finally woke up suddenly after five years of sleep, his numb nerve endings were ignited.His eyelids were so hot that he could not make a sound, and his voice was wailing intermittently.

Qi Xi was standing at the door, listening to the cry of the person inside the door who seemed to be dying, and his eyes turned red. He walked in lightly, and Lu Xiuyuan raised his head when he heard the voice. This is a very beautiful picture. The embarrassed face, full of tears and snot, is not good-looking at all.Qi Xi didn't say anything, took out a few pieces of paper and sat beside Lu Xiuyuan, then lifted his chin, and helped him wipe it carefully, wiping away his tears and blowing his nose.

"Lu Xiuyuan, it's time to come out." Qi Xi still held his face in his hands, and tenderly touched his slightly swollen eyes with his fingertips, "My Lu Xiuyuan should be a bird flying high. It is the rising sun, and he should not be trapped in a cage, nor should he be trapped in the night."

Lu Xiuyuan, you are color, and color is a kind of light.