summer like smoke

Chapter 40

Lin Yan didn't stalk Xia Zhaoshi that night, but that didn't mean he didn't intend to.

Xia Zhaoshi left and ran between China and the United States. The number of times he went home, or even if he came back, the days he stayed at home were less and less.Lin Yan didn't want to make himself so pitiful, like a concubine who had been cast into the cold palace, waiting for the emperor's occasional visit and favor, but in fact, even he himself couldn't deny that his Time's emotional state, in fact, is clearly such a resentful woman, such a humble, such a lowly.

But fortunately, after all, he is not a cowardly idiot who only knows how to complain and pity himself behind closed doors.After all, he was Lin Yan.

More than a month later, at the beginning of November, one night, Lin Yan turned off the interface of the game that he had been playing all day to win soft hands, yawned boredly and was about to go to bed, when suddenly, the phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered lazily, with a tired tone.

However, the frivolous male voice that came clearly from the other end of the phone suddenly jolted Lin Yan's mind, and he instantly regained his energy.

"Hey, Yanyan, long time no see, your daily routine is still the same as when we were together, so healthy and regular, and when the deadline of eleven o'clock comes, you have to go to bed on time? Tsk, do you know , This kind of work and rest time that is outdated for elementary school students is really not in line with your appearance, temperament and identity age. Hey, why do you think you are so cute and cute? I really want to kill me, love I'm dead."

Lin Yan wasn't in the mood to pay attention to Wang Yuanshan's nasty and unscrupulous jokes. He tucked himself into the bed and rolled up the quilt, buried his head and closed his eyes, and said softly, "Did you find it?"

When Wang Yuanshan on the other end heard it, he couldn't help but exaggeratedly looked up to the sky and sighed: "Hey, Yanyan, you are so ruthless, cruel, cold, and don't understand my heart! It's rare that you took the initiative to find me once, without talking to me first Chatting and chatting, talking to old lovers... Uh, cough cough, old friends and old friends have old friends, let's catch up and talk about love, and then rush to ask about another man's business... Sigh, my heart hurts so much, so cold, So sour, so sad!"

"..." A big man in his early thirties, with a coquettish and coquettish tone, Lin Yan's spine shivered, his eyelashes trembled, and he said simply, "I'm dead."

"..."

Having been together day and night for several months, Wang Yuanshan knew very well that Lin Yan is a powerful character who can definitely do what he can do if he can say it, and it is definitely not good for him to pretend to be crazy, so he hurriedly begged for mercy: "Hey! Okay, okay, okay! Oh, Yanyan, you are so serious, you can’t even joke now, you are not as cute as before...Okay, okay, this is the first time Yanyan you ask me, Wang Yuanshan, for help , then I, Wang Yuanshan, will do it for you even if I try to die, right?"

In the last sentence, Lin Yan is not ignorant of that one who wants to reveal but dares not reveal, but does not reveal but is not reconciled, and is cautiously looming.

It's just that I once knew it, and at most, I just knew it.But now...but now, comparing heart to heart, comparing love to love, Lin Yan suddenly felt in a trance, feeling that the cycle of reincarnation and cause and effect in heaven, all of these are retribution and fate.

Once again, he couldn't help himself and fell into the old dream of the past, which was hard to wake up from.

In this way, Lin Yan finally softened his tone, and said in a gentle and soft voice: "Well, then you can send me the address later, now, I am going to sleep."

Wang Yuanshan thought for a while and asked: "Do you want me to help you deal with that follower? Didn't you complain to me last time that since the incident with Mo Qing happened, Xia Zhaoshi told him to keep an eye on you all the time? Then At that time...will it be inconvenient?"

Lin Yan closed his eyes and hesitated for a moment, sighed, and finally said in a low voice as if extremely tired: "Forget it, if he wants to stare, then let him stare. Anyway, I'm used to it. And, even if you let him Just stare, he won't get in the way."

Although Lin Yan was extremely annoyed by Jim's constant surveillance and stalking, he also had the paradoxically warm illusion that Xia Zhaoshi was everywhere.

Xia Zhaoshi's man, he was not so soft to protect and pamper, love and pity, and he didn't melt so gently in this icy and bone-chilling shackles and confinement.Today's Lin Yan really understands and feels deeply. The first person to accurately describe the subtle feeling of pain and happiness is not just a joke.

He must have been in real pain and had been happy.

Wang Yuanshan was silent for a while, his tone suddenly became full of emotions, and he was a bit disappointed: "Yanyan... I didn't expect that you already, so much like Xia Zhaoshi."

Lin Yan suddenly opened his eyes, frowning in shock: "What did you say!?"

Wang Yuanshan smiled.The background on his side is a bit noisy, making his voice sound distant and blurred on the phone: "If it was before, Yanyan, you wouldn't need me to ask you at all, you would have taken the initiative to ask me to deal with that follower in advance. But Look now...Look now, not only did you not take the initiative to bring up this matter, but you actually rejected my proposal so flatly... Heh, it's obvious that you don't want to offend Xia Zhaoshi, don't want to make him angry."

Lin Yan's throat tightened, and a lot of shame of being seen through was born in his heart.After a while, he finally uttered an unconvincing statement: "...Why don't you say that I care about you. If you really deal with Jim, then Xia Zhaoshi, I'm afraid, won't let you go. "

Wang Yuanshan laughed bitterly, and dejectedly laughed at himself: "Hahaha! Forget it, Yanyan, we have been together for so long, and I have liked you for so long, what kind of person are you? Can you be unclear? If you, Lin Yan, were kind to me, Wang Yuanshan, you wouldn't just contact me when you need my help."

"..."

Lin Yan was rendered speechless by the rebuttal.In this situation where each other has spoken and confessed, no matter how much they say, they will be powerless.

"...Thank you," the atmosphere was dull for a long time, and finally Lin Yan cut through the mess quickly and even said goodbye in a little panic, "I'm dead."

clap──

This time, he really hung up.

Not for threat nor out of disgust.In fact, this is a fight, there is no silver 300 taels here, and he fled hastily.

Once love is deeply rooted, no matter how weak a person can become strong; no matter how strong a person is, they will also start to have weaknesses.

After getting the address, Lin Yan pondered over and over for nearly half a month, and finally made up his mind on a certain day in mid-November, and set off to the beautiful, exquisite and small building. One can tell that a lot of thought has been spent on it. in front of the house.

At that time, it was a deep sunset, the sky was setting and the clouds were like blood.Lin Yan stood in front of the room in a daze for a few seconds, and finally thought sourly that Xia Zhaoshi's thoughts were all spent here.

Twirling his fingers, the hard and cold key quickly flung several circles in the air.Wang Yuanshan was really strong, and even got this for him.I just hope that Xia Zhaoshi won't embarrass him too much in the future.

Withdrawing his mind, he opened the door without hesitation and walked in. As far as he could see, the living room was very large and empty, with a simple and elegant design. This kind of subtle feeling that perfectly blends grandeur and arrogance without violating harmony at all can be seen as Xia Zhaoshi's restrained surface Subtle, but with a solipsistic aesthetic style.

Xia Zhaoshi's whole person, no matter in every aspect, was too suitable, too suitable, Lin Yan's appetite.Before I like it, I have already met it objectively, but after I like it, it is just an unstoppable seduction.The heartbeat felt like little Adrian's two paws were thumping and scratching on Lin Yan's chest all the time.It used to be a fluffy and soft harmless thing, but now it has gradually grown into a sharp and terrifying weapon for hurting people.

After closing the door loudly on purpose, Lin Yan walked in a few steps and stopped behind the sofa to wait quietly.After a while, I really heard the sound of hurried footsteps coming from the stairs.

Lin Yan squinted his eyes and smiled slightly.The narrow and sly smile was unexpected, but also filled with unspeakable sadness.

First, a pair of tall and straight long legs, then a lean and strong waist, and then a broad and powerful chest... And finally, what appeared in Lin Yan's sight was a picture of surprise changing to shock, disappointment and loss, gloomy and Sombre, sullen face.

His brows were tightly knit and black air enveloped him, and his expression was brilliant.For Xia Zhaoshi, this is the only case, but for Lin Yan, it is an exclusive broadcast.

Lin Yan narrowed his eyes and appraised unceremoniously.He is familiar with everything about this man in front of him, he likes everything, he is fascinated by everything.The feeling of wanting to take it as his own is stronger than the previous moment.

Xia Zhaoshi stopped there, Lin Yan looked up, the angle was perfect and impeccable.

Just like the first time I saw you.Lin Yan, who has been amazed by others all his life, is here at Xia Zhaoshi, tirelessly and uncontrollably, again and again, experiencing the wonderful feeling of being amazed and being touched by electricity that he rarely had the opportunity to experience in the first half of his life.

Although he was a little sad, he still admitted that it felt so good.

Of course, Xia Zhaoshi's face at this moment is actually very ugly.

"Did you think with joy that it was your precious little brother Xiaozhen who found out that his conscience had changed his mind and turned around to look for it, you're a big brother, huh?" Lin Yan leisurely walked around to the sofa and sat down, stroked his hands gracefully. There were a few disobedient messy hairs on his forehead, and his light tone was somewhat provocative. He raised his head and smiled at Xia Zhaoshi, "I'm sorry, I'm not Jiang Zhen, I've let you down."

Xia Zhaoshi was originally secluded!The deep and cold eyes are now so heavy that water can almost drip out.

very scary.But Lin Yan ignored it as if nothing happened, turned his eyes around the house calmly, nodded, and said slowly with a sweet smile: "Well, where you lived for me , They all said that it was your young master Xia, the golden house. So what is it here? The diamond house? Is it a hidden treasure?"

Xia Zhaoshi didn't speak, and walked down the stairs slowly, his calm and introverted aura lingered everywhere from the inside out, which was really amazing.

But Lin Yan prefers it, loves it the most, he has changed his tune.

"Does it count as having an affair with me? But here, is the right one?" Lin Yan blinked and asked playfully.

Xia Zhaoshi came over and stood condescendingly in front of Lin Yan, raised his hand and gently scratched Lin Yan's still-touch pretty face, and smiled slightly: "Cheating? Lin Yan, you are not good, and you forgot what I told you once, He bent down, leaned close to Lin Yan's ear, and sucked it with his mouth open, "I paid the money, and to you, I'm a prostitute."

Lin Yan's pupils shrank.I just don't know if it's because of Xia Zhaoshi's hurtful words, or because of Xia Zhaoshi's warm body temperature and charming lips.

The long-lost familiarity made him intoxicated.

"... Xia Zhaoshi, don't be angry. I'm here today, actually, to comfort you," Lin Yan slowly reached out and hooked Xia Zhaoshi's neck, sat up straight, and buried his face deeply into Xia Zhaoshi's delicious-smelling side neck , intoxicated, "I know you are unhappy, I know you are sad. That's right, my brother who has been hurting me for most of my life, just broke up with you because of a stupid pig, it is normal for you to be sad. And you Because of this angering me... I can understand it, I don't care, I don't care, I don't mind."

Lin Yan was too sensitive, too sharp.Every time Xia Zhaoshi was unhappy, he actually knew that it basically had nothing to do with him.

He is just the most innocent cannon fodder, and an even more innocent vent.

He really understands, because he often does it himself.But does it really matter that he doesn't care or mind?

──He can.

Although he will be in pain, he feels... He feels that he can do it.

Xia Zhaoshi was silent for half a second, then suddenly raised his hand and rubbed the top of Lin Yan's head.The movements are gentle and seem to be rewarding.Lin Yan's body trembled, and then the feeling of ecstasy immediately flowed through his limbs and bones, filling his whole body.

He is hopeless.The only person who can save him is Xia Zhaoshi.

After thinking about it, the arms hooking Xia Zhaoshi's neck were shaking cutely, Lin Yan tilted his head and smiled and broke the news: "Oh, by the way, do you know Xia Zhaoshi? A few days ago, Jiang Zhen came to [Beloved] ] found me."

The moment the words fell, the tenderness just now disappeared suddenly like a dream.Xia Zhaoshi's complexion changed and he pinched Lin Yan's chin. The impatience in his eyes didn't even bother to hide. He just asked coldly, "He is looking for you? What is he looking for you for!?"

Without intentionally controlling his strength, Lin Yan was very painful when he pinched him.

"Cough cough cough cough cough... Heh, sure enough, when you mention him, you can't help but get excited," Lin Yan's voice sounded a bit bitter, but what he said was beyond his control, he didn't know what to do, "Xia Zhaoshi, you are so excited, is it because you are concerned about Jiang Zhen's movements? Or is it because you are worried about me, have you been treated by him?"

In fact, he didn't know his own problem, he was clearly asking for trouble and humiliating himself.How naive and stupid his expectations were at this moment.Those obsessive love flowing in the corners of the eyes and brows, I wish the other party could see them all, but I wished that the other party could turn a blind eye to them.

It's such a tangled feeling to like someone.

Sure enough, when Xia Zhaoshi heard the words, he immediately sneered and waved away Lin Yan without hesitation, lowered his head and straightened his neckline, his face was indifferent and his tone was cold: "I don't want to waste time answering such an obvious stupid question like you."

"..." Lin Yan lowered his eyes and bit his lips, a row of white teeth pressed against the red lips with shocking force, the imprint was deep and ruthless.The two hands clenched into fists behind Xia Zhaoshi's invisible back, the knuckles turned white, and the veins on the back of the hands were floating.But when he looked up again, he looked at Shengbo with a smile on his face, tilted his head and said provocatively, "Really? Well, in fact, Jiang Zhen didn't say anything when he came to me. You guessed it." I should have guessed that it was all because of Yan Jiaqi's incident with that pig. Seeing how angry he was at the time, I really thought I was going to be beaten to death on the spot, but luckily Jiang Zhen still had reason and judgment. I know that the culprit is actually not me, but you Xia Zhaoshi, who always loves him, loves him, protects him and takes care of him, good brother."

Lin Yan intentionally bit the word "good brother" very hard.

Xia Zhaoshi should have been angry.Yet he refrained.Because at this time he had found a new and more powerful way to humiliate, or rather destroy, Lin Yan.

"Lin Yan," he sighed, with cold regret on his face, "I didn't expect that you already, love me so much."

"..."

Lin Yan didn't know where Xia Zhaoshi saw it, but he didn't intend to refute it.

Xia Zhaoshi turned around with a smile, walked forward to a desk, picked up a book on the desk, tore off a page, and threw it on the ground at will.The thin pieces of paper are like those helpless fallen leaves outside the window at this season, floating in the air lonely and desolately, and finally Xia Zhaoshi pressed his foot on the bottom of his feet, stomping and grinding: "You know, Lin Yan, once In my eyes, you are very, very dazzling. But now, those rays of light are gone. Now when I look at you, it's like looking at a humble ant that I stepped on the soles of my feet, no difference at all."

"I've finished using you. As for you changing from liking Li Weizhe to liking me, Xia Zhaoshi—that's your own problem, and it has nothing to do with me."

Lin Yan took a deep breath, only to feel that his body was turning black in front of his eyes, and his body was crumbling, and there was an unbearable smell of blood in his chest.

"I like you, so I'm cheap?" He was in a daze, and really didn't understand, "Or just, do you think, I'm cheap?"

Painful confusion gradually appeared in Lin Yan's eyes.Soft and confused fragility.

He also doesn't like Li Yinan, Wang Yuanshan, Qi Yilingwang and those people, but he just doesn't like them, and he never hates them, humiliates them, or tortures them just because they like him.Lin Yan doesn't think they are cheap, he thinks it's normal.He admired their eyes, and even enjoyed such glory.

What happened to Xia Zhaoshi.

"Am I cheap, or are you cheap?"

"Is there something wrong with me, or... are you abnormal?"

The ones I like are always the ones I can't get, such people are sick.

People who like you will always be people who don't like you. Such people commit crimes.

They are not normal people, and they have never tried the love and life of normal people. After all, how can they be together.

This is the first time Lin Yan confessed to Xia Zhaoshi seriously, soberly, and face to face.

However, what he got in exchange in the end was an extremely ugly word, which he hated the most, the word "cheap".

Xia Zhaoshi said, your light is gone.Yes, that kind of thing, gradually, disappeared.The reason is very simple. He is old. Since most of his radiance comes from his beauty, it will naturally disappear.Even though Lin Yan still looks young or even young today, "looks" is just, "looks".No matter how much he is praised and boasted by others, Lin Yan is not a real fairy, but he can really stay young forever and not grow old.

Lin Yan knew about Lin Yan's own body.Those traces of the years that cannot be concealed, the secrets of time, which parts of my body are ready to move, eyeing.They are restlessly preparing at all times, and when the time for preparation comes, thousands and thousands of them will flood in, taking back all the rays of light that he has exhausted over the years, and fatally strike him without mercy.

No matter how beautiful, no matter how beautiful, he, Lin Yan, is the same as everyone in this world, like all the beauties in ancient and modern China and abroad, he cannot escape the doomed end of twilight.

At this moment, Lin Yan suddenly realized more clearly than ever before that he was indeed no longer young.Although it is said that getting old is everyone's destiny, but for a beauty, this destiny always seems particularly cruel and ruthless.

The more beautiful a person is, the more he has to pay the price.The process of fading the halo is an unimaginable pain for ordinary people.

Lin Yan moved his eyes lightly, his water-retained eyes were like the ocean after the heavy rain, and he fixed his eyes on the half-exposed white paper under Xia Zhaoshi's feet—as if it was himself in the tragic situation at this moment.Lin Yan stared blankly there for a long time in silence, then suddenly tilted his head with a beautiful and beautiful smile, and said in a daze:

"I used to like Li Weizhe because I thought he was my kind. At that time in Beiyi, there were so many people in the class and so many faces, but I could tell at a glance that Li Weizhe, although on the surface He is frivolous and domineering, but in his heart he is the same as me, bored, miserable, and lonely... I thought he needed the same kind, but I didn't expect that what he really needed was actually a complement. "

"But what about you, Xia Zhaoshi? What do you think? Jiang Zhen is a complementary existence, but you just want to possess him, and you are far from loving him; and although I am your kind, you still don't want to Possessions don't bother to possess, and they don't bother to give..."

"I didn't understand you before, but now, I seem to gradually understand. You don't love people because you don't have the ability to love at all. You don't have love in your heart. You are a well-deserved strong man. You only rely on you You only believe in yourself, so you only need yourself. You are the only one in your world. You also feel that as long as you are in your life, it is enough."

"But is this really interesting, Xia Zhaoshi? You sit in a kingdom, such a vast country, such a prosperous world, but you are the only one, one person...with no companions and no one to share, aren't you cold? Are you not lonely? ? No, do you feel lonely?"

"Don't you want to..."

"I don't want to," Xia Zhaoshi listened quietly for a while, and finally interrupted him coldly with a sneer, "I'm not you, Lin Yan, so I'm not as hungry and weak as you. There can be another person in this world to accompany me."

"And stay with me forever."

"I, Xia Zhaoshi, have never, never had such a naive dream."

His ruthless and unjust selfishness all stem from his iron-hearted strength.

Lin Yan was caught off guard by being robbed, paused for a moment, blinked his eyes for a while, and the sea surface illuminated by the moon was instantly filled with waves, continuous ups and downs, and misty waves.Lin Yan lowered his eyelashes and smiled softly, his voice was as soft as foam from the deep sea: "Yeah, I don't understand myself either. I never bother to pick up things that others throw away, but you, Xia Zhaoshi, are you an exception? .”

Xia Zhaoshi's face darkened, and he slowly turned around.

"The contract will be signed at the end of this year. But I will stay in the United States for the next few days, so when the time comes, you can go by yourself." After a pause, Xia Zhaoshi continued with a half-smile, " Congratulations, Lin Yan, you can finally be the same as in the past again, you can play however you want, have sex with whoever you want, have sex with anyone you want, don’t have any scruples, I will never, ever stop you is you."

"you're free."

Lin Yan looked up at him, the stars twinkling in his eyes, the mist was vast, and he said softly as if he was afraid of scaring someone away: "What you mean is that if we are here now, we will be separated...completely separated, Is it right?"

Xia Zhaoshi glanced at him and he replied casually, "Otherwise you think so."

"...I don't think why," Lin Yan choked for a moment, then pulled the corner of his mouth with difficulty and smirked, and said in a daze, "I just think, Xia Zhaoshi, you are really, really... too unfeeling."

Xia Zhaoshi frowned in disgust: "Don't show a look of disappointment. What are you still looking forward to now, Lin Yan? Do you know that what I hate the most is your appearance. This is just In a transaction of mutual use, I have fulfilled everything written in the contract, but as for unnecessary and loss-making things, I, Xia Zhaoshi, never do anything."

Things that are superfluous and loss-making, such as emotional.

Yes, this is Xia Zhaoshi's nature.Rigorous to the point of rigidity, shrewd to the point of ruthlessness, he will dutifully follow every word written in the contract and do a good job.However, if it wasn't written in the contract, he wouldn't say even a single word.

He's a businessman through and through.If you are not sure of the rewards, you will not give anything.

He is so selfish and stingy, protecting himself too well.He is not afraid of offending people, because he is strong enough, and because he only needs, he is alone.

From this point of view, although Xia Zhaoshi and Lin Yan are of the same kind and live in the same world, they are clearly standing at the two extremes of that world, looking at each other thousands of miles away, and halfway through the wind and snow is boundless, full of ghosts and ghosts.

They met in this world, but they couldn't walk the same way.

There are too many twists and turns in the middle, and the fork in the road. When will they go before they can really meet again.

Will that day really happen?

Xia Zhaoshi came over and lifted Lin Yan's chin, condescendingly, and understated: "Who helped you find this place? Huh? Ah, let me think about it, you wouldn't go to Li Yinan and Ling Wang, Qi Yi is not so Li Weizhe won't help you at all, he has a good relationship with you and is quite powerful... Heh, I see, so it's Wang Yuanshan."

Lin Yan's eyes flickered, and he moved his lips: "Just give me a breakup gift, Xia Zhaoshi. Don't, make things difficult for him."

Xia Zhaoshi narrowed his eyes, turned the corner of his mouth slowly into a sarcasm, and sighed softly, his tone full of disdain: "Are you still the Lin Yan I knew before? Why are you getting more and more soft-hearted."

Lin Yan smiled lightly: "I accumulate Yin virtue."

On the day Xia Zhaoshi left, Lin Yan sent him to the airport.Although the parties did not ask for it, it was Lin Yan's own wishful thinking.

Going here again and again did not leave a good impression on Lin Yan. He didn't like this place full of parting at all.

But today's Xia Zhaoshi made Lin Yan very emotional.He was wearing a silver-gray haute couture suit, exactly the same as when the two first met.Lin Yan knew that Xia Zhaoshi didn't do it on purpose, so he took it as God's will.

Subtle and ironic providence.The encounter and parting are shockingly coincidental.Especially for a superstitious person like Lin Yan, everything feels more predestined.

The two big men were not too tired, no matter how much Lin Yan felt reluctant, he still resisted and did not show anything.He didn't want to be disliked by Xia Zhaoshi on top of his already seven-point dislike.

The huge plane roared and slid away into the sky, Lin Yan stuck to the glass window and looked up obsessively.In the foggy gray sky that had just snowed, the plane flew higher and higher and farther in sight, becoming lighter and smaller, and flew away with the person he liked, who he had never seen before. The strange distance to set foot on.A straight thin line was drawn on the tail of the plane, as if there were so many pains and reluctance in Lin Yan's heart that had nowhere to rest.

He wanted to, but he didn't tell Xia Zhaoshi that in November last year, it was around this time that they met for the first time.It was also a late autumn when everything was bleak, and the long and hot summer passed like smoke.

He also didn't tell Xia Zhaoshi that his affection for him actually started long before they met.Lin Yan liked Xia Zhaoshi's surname.Because he likes summer.He is so cold, so afraid of the cold, so he likes this Chinese character that makes people feel warm when they hear it.

Nothing but three.

Lin Yan gently closed his eyes.He said this time, he was desperate to win.And now, he still has two-thirds of his life left.

Xia Zhaoshi, I still have two-thirds of my life left for you.