sorry i left

Chapter 21

Two days later, An Jiayue's funeral.

On this day, the weather was clear and cloudless, and there were more than [-] people piled up in the Lingshan Cemetery.These people, male and female, old and young, the only thing in common is that they are all dressed in black, with a white flower tied on their right chest, all expressionless, standing automatically in a row.

"My daughter, my daughter! Why are you so overwhelmed, why did you abandon me! Ah——" In front of the crowd standing like soldiers, a middle-aged woman knelt In front of the tombstone, weeping like hell, with snot and tears all over his face.She almost passed out many times, but fortunately there was a middle-aged man standing beside her, who would always hold her up at critical moments to prevent any accidents.

The woman who cried so miserably in the cemetery was An Jiayue's adoptive mother, and the man standing beside her was her husband.

The situation here is completely different from that on the other side of An's mother, a girl about [-] or [-] years old knelt quietly on the cold and hard marble tiles, neither crying nor making noise, wearing exactly the same clothes as the others She was dressed in black, and her long black hair was tied up in a leather sheath, making her even taller.There was nothing in her eyes, just like her expressionless face, she couldn't see what she was thinking.And she, just kneeling like this, kept kneeling, looking at the words engraved on the stone tablet, the black and white photo of the girl with straight hair, and she didn't know when it was her head.

The girl kneeling in front of the tomb without saying or doing anything, just kneeling on the ground calmly, was Qiu Yuqing who was supposed to take the final exam on the last day of the experimental high school at this time.

For the three-day final exam, she should have been writing hard in the classroom, but now she was silent amidst the desolate cries.

At six o'clock in the morning the day before yesterday, she had already woken up to take the exam, but unexpectedly received a call from Han Wei.

Han Wei said that An Jiayue is dead.

The body was found on a train track not far from No. [-] Middle School.That day, a lot of policemen and doctors came, all surrounded the place where An Jiayue died, holding pens, books, gloves and masks.In short, there are many, many people surrounded by the inner three floors and the outer three floors.When Qiu Yuqing arrived, An's father rushed back from other places, An's mother also escaped from the mahjong parlor, Han Wei and Cheng Yiqian had already arrived.

At that time, the cries of women and the helpless sighs of men filled the city of S.

But Qiu Yuqing couldn't hear anything.

All she saw was that on the train track, it could no longer be regarded as a corpse, it could only be regarded as a pool of rotten flesh, with a torn underwear lying flat in the middle of the train track, with dark red blood spattered everywhere .

bloody.

Han Wei heard a policeman say that the time of death of the deceased was between 10:[-] and [-]:[-] in the morning. During this [-]-minute period, a train happened to be running, and the deceased was on the train. He rushed to the scene before the train arrived, and ran to the track when the train was about to reach the death position of the deceased. He was crushed to a bloody mess and died on the spot.

Judging from the identification of the remaining blood, clothing, etc., it is almost certain that the deceased was An Jiayue, a third-year student at No. [-] Middle School in S City.

is suicide.

Hearing this, even the big-hearted Han Wei almost fainted, but Qiu Yuqing just stared at the scene in a daze, watching the police rushing to and fro, watching An Jiayue's adoptive mother kneeling on the ground sobbing, and standing there. He stared straight at him not far away, without saying a word, without crying or fussing, just like now, like a piece of wood.

Cheng Yiqian knew that whether she was at that time or Qiu Yuqing now, she must be more sad than herself and Han Wei, a hundred times, a thousand times more sad.It's because it's too uncomfortable to accept, so it becomes like this, doing nothing, asking nothing, like a puppet being pulled by a string, sad to the extreme, so sad that I can no longer shed tears.

Han Wei, Su Qing, Han Haoyang and Cheng Yiqian who were standing at the back were not much better. The eyes of the four were terribly red and swollen. They stood at the back like everyone else. Four pairs of scarlet eyes.Han Haoyang and Su Qing have already been turned into ghosts and ghosts by waves of grief, and they no longer have the heart to think about anything else, but Han Wei is different. In her heart, there are [-]% grief, [-]% doubt, and [-]%. share resentment.

Why?Why did An Jiayue commit suicide?Although on that day, when she was leaving, the other party was indeed in a low mood, but he was not so sad that he committed suicide, right?Could it be because Qiu Yuqing lied to her?But didn't Qiu Yuqing come to her to explain that night?Even if he didn't explain clearly in the end, how could An Jiayue, who had such a strong sense of responsibility, choose to commit suicide?This is simply impossible!What she fears the most is seeing someone who cares about her, who she cares about shed a tear for her?Such An Jiayue, how could she commit suicide!How could she be irresponsible to all those who loved her?

Her thoughts gradually became clear, and the more she thought about it, the more tears gathered in Han Wei's eyes. She slowly raised her head, only to see a blurry figure kneeling on the ground.

An Jiayue who loves Qiu Yuqing so much, unless...

Qiu Yuqing, what did you tell An Jiayue that night? !

Han Wei, who had no sleep that night, decided to ask Qiu Yuqing for clarification the next day.

Unexpectedly, on the second day, before Han Wei could make the first move, Qiu Yuqing did as she wished and called her, saying that she wanted to talk to her, and the place was at the Blue Cafe next to Zhongxin Mall.

Heh, I didn't look for you, but you took the initiative to look for me first, which is interesting.

After hanging up the phone, Han Wei held the phone tightly with her right hand until her knuckles turned white, and her eyes were still red, but there was a little more firmness in her gaze.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, Han Wei arrived at the agreed place on time, and Qiu Yuqing was already there.Taking a closer look, it turns out that she has been haggard so much, her eyes are still confused and dull from yesterday, and the extra scarlet is more serious than Han Wei's.The red blood in the whites of the eyes is faintly discernible, and there is nowhere to hide, and she herself has no intention of covering it up, allowing every passerby who passes by her to look at her more, and finally walk away.

It wasn't until seeing Han Wei that the scene eased up a bit.

Qiu Yuqing leaned on the table with her hands, as if she would fall if she didn't hold on to something, she tried her best to smile, and said to Han Wei who was on the way: "You are here, sit down."

Han Wei just glanced at the other party's smile, which was uglier than crying, and sat directly opposite her without answering.

"What do you want to drink?" Qiu Yuqing didn't care about Han Wei's impoliteness. In her heart, such things were not worth mentioning at all.

"Coffee is fine." Han Wei's hoarse voice sounded, making Qiu Yuqing who was sitting opposite her stunned.

This voice... really sounded like An Jiayue.In the past, no matter when and where, even if she just woke up from sleep, her voice was always this hoarse tone, it has always been, always, and always will be like this, and it has not changed.But now...she can no longer hear that hoarse voice, only a voice similar to hers can be heard.

I can't hear it anymore, I can't see her again, even if she spends her whole life and travels to every corner of the world, she can't be found again, everything will be in vain.

Why... leave me...

There was more and more liquid in the eye sockets, it was Han Wei's cough that woke her up, of course, it was fake.I said "Sorry", wiped away the tears that hadn't burst, and asked for two cups of coffee from the waiter not far away before starting today's topic.

"Even if you don't come to me today, I plan to talk to you, but the content is a problem. I think, with the intelligence of Qiu Xueba, we can't figure it out." Han Wei put her arms around her chest, leaned her whole body weight on the back of the chair, and said coldly.

Qiu Yuqing was stunned, and it took a while to react, not caring about the other party's sarcasm: "Han Wei, I know what you want to ask, but I want to tell you that I was really surprised by Xiaoyue's death, and I never thought about it." It will become like this. After you left that night, we really didn’t have a good conversation. Later, Xiaoyue told me that everyone was tired and asked me to go to her after the exam the next day. I agreed."

"Han Wei, really, I really didn't expect this kind of thing to happen. I'm just as confused as you, and I want to figure out... what's going on here..." Choking, aggrieved, sad , Qiu Yuqing knew that the other party was suspicious of her, after all that night, she was the last... anyone who saw her would be suspicious.

Two cups of coffee were served one after another.

Seeing that the other party didn't seem to be lying, the hostility in Han Wei's eyes gradually dissipated, and she remained silent.

Seeing that Han Wei didn't speak, the embarrassing atmosphere quickly rose. Qiu Yuqing continued to speak with swollen eyes, "Han Wei, I came to you today not only for you to ask me questions, but also for me, just like you. A question that only you can answer."

Han Wei frowned: "Say."

Qiu Yuqing took a deep breath, and finally asked the purpose of this trip: "Han Wei, I want to ask, what kind of life did she live during the few years when I was not by my side? What happened again? What kind of things happened? In short, as long as it's about her, whether it's character or family, I hope you can tell me everything you know about her without reservation, please."

Han Wei's eyes widened slightly.

That's right, An Jiayue loves Qiu Yuqing to the core, so much that she can give her life, but why doesn't Qiu Yuqing love An Jiayue?Just like An Jiayue loved her so deeply, so infatuatedly.Now, An Jiayue died and committed suicide, no matter what Qiu Yuqing said to her that day, it could not change this fact.If An Jiayue knew underground, knowing that she complained so much because of her death, and suspected Qiu Yuqing, she would definitely jump out of the loess pile in anger. After all, she loves her so much, and loves her so much that it is hopeless the point.What's more, in the past few days after An Jiayue's death, although Qiu Yuqing was silent on the surface, she didn't cry or make trouble, but in her heart, she must be sadder than any of them.

What Qiu Yuqing did was to make up for the years she was absent from An Jiayue's life. She wanted to know everything that surrounded her and everything that happened to her.

An Jiayue, why don't you let me stop even after you die, and arrange this big trouble for me again.

Forget it.

This may be the last thing I can do for you.

Her right hand covered her aching heart, and when the pain gradually disappeared, Han Wei took a sip of the coffee in front of her, and then spoke.

"That child, she's precocious and precocious." Afterwards, Han Wei told a lot about An Jiayue that she knew.

"You know, we were in the same class in elementary school. At that time, she was easily overlooked by others. She was like a transparent person, not talkative, and extremely inferior. If I use my words to comment, Then she is a living lonely patient. She is so lonely that she can sit in a 35-minute physical education class from class to class. She is so lonely that everyone goes to and from school every day. Only she is alone every day, and she is extremely lonely. As a result, I didn't have a deep impression of her in elementary school. Until I entered junior high school, we were in the same class by chance. At that time, there was only her. Cheng Yiqian and I were in the same class as the third child in elementary school. One girl, and the rest were assigned to other places. At that time, I realized without exaggeration that there was a character named An Jiayue in my elementary school class. Can you imagine that she has How transparent, so transparent that I lived with her for six years, and I even forgot her existence. Later, as a matter of course, the three of us became good friends and got tired of being together every day. That was the stage, I I found that An Jiayue is very worried and very serious. Every day in class, she is in a daze and doesn't know what to think about. Even in physical education class, when the three of us are together, she can find a gap and start a little errand. Oh my God, what kind of existence is this? So, I am very curious and pay more attention to her every day. As time goes by, the number of times she is in a daze, the time is getting more and more, and I am no longer interested in her. The original curiosity. I want to protect this thin person who seems to be vulnerable. I want to take care of her with my heart. I don’t want her to sit in the classroom every day and think about some messy things. I want to walk into her In my heart, look at her wounds, look at some of her unknown secrets. But who knew that dead woman wrapped herself up so tightly, she didn't tell me anything, she didn't tell me anything. You are so angry. Later, you showed up. Hehe, I also want to thank you. If it wasn’t for your appearance, how could I have learned all her thoughts and concerns so quickly. But, I’m fine too I hate you, I hate why you gave her a slap without asking clearly, why didn't you go home and ran to the main road in the middle of the night, causing her... to lose an arm. But, I can't say it, she likes it so much You, love you, if I tell you how I hate you, she will definitely break up with me."

"But now... I don't have to hide my dislike for you anymore, because An Jiayue is dead, that dead woman, just died, I haven't figured out what's going on, she just committed suicide so unclearly Yes. Why, what can she tell me, why did she commit suicide, why... She is still a child, she hasn't even graduated from junior high school, why she has to bear so many things, isn't she tired... Why I don't know how to treat myself better...why let myself live such a miserable life..."

"why why why……"

Qiu Yuqing just looked at Han Wei like this, at the tears she shed unknowingly, at the confusion in her eyes, at her repeating why over and over again like a dream, so stubborn that she insisted that she should not appear The thing in my hand was forcefully forced back into the eye socket, allowing it to spin and roll in it.

"Qiu Yuqing, I miss her so much, shall I take you to her house? I'll ask her adoptive mother for the key, so I'll take you to her house to have a look, okay?"

An Jiayue, how selfish are you for doing this?If you do this and leave so many people who love you behind, what will they do?

With a sound of "click", the door was opened outside, and Xiao Xia was sent to Han Wei's house because of An Jiayue's injury. The sun was shining warmly into the empty house, which seemed beautiful but lacked something.

"Go in, I'll just stay in the living room, call me if you need something." Han Wei regained her composure, turned around and said to Qiu Yuqing next to her.

Qiu Yuqing nodded, raised her foot and walked forward.

close the door.

It was still the same small room with the same furnishings, the curtains were not drawn, which cut off the warmth from the window, the quilts were stacked neatly, and the room was kept spotless.

However, the people in this room are now gone.

Qiu Yuqing suppressed the pain in her heart, walked to the window and opened the curtains. In an instant, warm sunlight poured in, illuminating the whole room.

After finishing all this, Qiu Yuqing turned around, threw off her slippers and went to bed, sat beside the neatly folded quilt, curled herself up, helpless like a wounded baby.

However, it seemed that something hard hit her.

Qiu Yuqing was puzzled, and reached out to touch the bottom of the quilt, but after seeing clearly what was held by her right hand, her whole body trembled, and the tears she had just held back also fell down.

A dark red book with no decorations.

This notebook is loaded with too many things, because of it, the original self knew everything, Xia Lingxuan was An Jiayue, so he slapped her in the face in a fit of anger.

It was also because of this book that I knew everything, all the pain and grievances in An Jiayue's heart, the moment she opened it, the truth came to light.

What kind of surprise will it open this time?Or, frightened?

Patiently flipping through little by little, watching, regardless of the tears dripping on the paper, printed "plum blossoms" one after another, and finally saw the last page, eyes widened, and howled.

The last page, which was originally clean and without a trace of pollution, was broken by a line of black font.

I like you very much, but it seems that I can only go here.

This was the last sentence she left for her, and it was also the reason why she burst into tears regardless of her image.

Why did you abandon me?

Didn't you agree that we'll meet right away after I finish the exam?

You promised me, clearly said yes, after I finish the exam, listen to my explanation, my love for you is not guilt or sympathy at all, I like you, like you to the bone, just like you like me, I I also like you.

But why can't you wait for me?When I explain it to you, I have nothing to do with Zhou Xiaoming. He likes me and confessed his love to me, but because of you, I already have you in my heart. Because of this, I rejected him.

Why, you won't wait for me a little longer...

Is my love for you, in your heart, so worthless...

An Jiayue, I like you. From the beginning to the end, my person, body, and heart are all yours...

do you know……

You don't know, otherwise, how could you have the heart to leave me alone in this world, and leave so cruelly, without even saying goodbye...

An Jiayue, I admit defeat, you come back, I will never hide anything from you again, let's be together well, okay...

In the living room, the girl in blue was curled up on the sofa with her legs curled up, her soft black hair was scattered on her shoulders, her back, and she covered her entire face with her hands, listening to unrestrained crying from inside the room, something was flowing from between her fingers ,fall.

The next day, Han Wei accidentally received a call from Su Qing, who told her in a panic that Qiu Yuqing committed suicide.

At that moment, Han Wei didn't know how long she froze in place, or the yelling on the other end of the phone woke her up. After asking some questions, she slammed the door and left.

When they arrived at the gate of the hospital, they happened to see Cheng Yiqian who also hurried over after receiving the call with her. They both nodded to each other tacitly, and walked into the hospital one after the other.

What was it like when you arrived at Qiu Yuqing's ward?A young girl was lying on the bed with a pale face. Although her eyes were closed, it could be seen from the trembling eyelashes that her consciousness was still awake. In just a few days, her body had already become so thin. Take out a patient with a needle inserted in it, which is alive and well.And the girl sitting on the chair beside the hospital bed stared at the people on the hospital bed, as if she would disappear if she was not careful.

Later, from Su Qing's mouth, Han Wei and Cheng Yiqian made up the scene of last night.

Last night, after Han Wei sent Qiu Yuqing home, Su Qing was too worried about her best friend, so she ran to Qiu Yuqing's house regardless of the night.When he entered the door, he saw that the other party was in the same state as when he learned that Xia Lingxuan was An Jiayue last time, sitting on the bed with endless confusion in his eyes, but there was an extra dark red notebook in his hand. .Qiu Yuqing was silent, and Su Qing didn't speak either. The two of them sat at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed, and they just sat and sat...

What happened next was completely unexpected by Su Qing.After sitting there for an unknown amount of time, there was a sudden sound of opening the door, and when the door was fully opened, Mother Qiu's frightening face against the light was unreservedly displayed in front of her eyes.It turned out that because of An Jiayue's death, as a good student, Qiu Yuqing didn't even take the final exam for the first time, and she didn't see her during the whole process, and no parents came to ask for a leave. Mother Qiu called and wanted to ask what was going on.Qiu's mother also expressed her doubts. Qiu Yuqing would never stop going to school for no reason, let alone this is the final exam.So, Qiu's mother, who was worried about her daughter, bought a ticket to S City and rushed back overnight.Of course, all these worries turned into anger after seeing Qiu Yuqing's intact body.

"I fell in love, and I fell in love with a girl, but now, she is dead." After Qiu's mother showed her slick tongue, Qiu Yuqing finally spoke, and when she opened her mouth, it was just this sentence.

Have you seen Su Qing's and Qiu's mother's mouths that can't be opened anymore?

Oh, this cabinet is available.Qiu Yuqing, An Jiayue is dead, so you just ignore everything?You dare to do this even to the mother you were most afraid of hurting in the past.

Love, what is it that has such a magical power that it can make people do things that they didn't even dare to think about before?

With a "pop", Qiu Yuqing's face turned half red in an instant.

"Qiu Yuqing, what do you mean? Are you telling me that you are in a relationship? The other party is a girl? Let me tell you, this is a perverted, perverted behavior! I will never agree to it! Hehe, she is dead? Dead is fine , It’s good to die! Let her never hook up with my daughter again, from now on, you study hard for me, and stop thinking about these things!”

"Auntie, calm down, calm down, can you go back to the house first? I'll tell her, and I'll talk to her."

Last night, when Su Qing finally persuaded Qiu's mother to go back to her room, and took out ice cubes from the refrigerator to apply to Qiu Yuqing's half-swollen cheeks, she left without saying anything.

Because at that time, it is useless to say anything.

At the last moment when the door was closed, Su Qing was honored to see Qiu Yuqing looking at her squarely, but she couldn't understand the emotion in that gaze, and when she tried to see clearly again, the door was closed.

forget it.

But why, after she left, did I always have a bad premonition in my heart?

Finally, the premonition came true today.Early this morning, Qiu's mother knocked on the door to ask Qiu Yuqing to eat, but there was no response for a long time. Not only that, there was no sound at all, and the door was locked by the people inside.Mother Qiu felt something was wrong in an instant, and took out the spare key from the living room to open the door, only to find Qiu Yuqing lying flat on the bed, with blood dripping all over the floor, dazzling red, and a fruit knife stained with blood on the ground.

Fortunately, Qiu's mother sent it in time, and there was no serious problem except for a little blood loss.

Seeing Qiu Yuqing lying on the hospital bed, Su Qing suddenly realized that when she left yesterday, when Qiu Yuqing looked at her, she finally understood.

It was a despair, an unprecedented despair.

Up to now, she still remembers the expression of Qiu's mother crying bitterly when she just arrived at the hospital, lying on the bedside of her newly rescued daughter, crying loudly that as long as you are safe, the expression on the mother will never force you to do anything again.

Parents in the world... are they all like this?

Now, Qiu's mother went out for a while, and only Han Wei and the others stayed in the ward, guarding Qiu Yuqing who was already awake but unwilling to face reality.

"Please stay here first, I'll go and see if there's anything to eat." Su Qing said suddenly, and after saying this, she got up and walked out the door.

In the corridor, while Su Qing was walking, she vigorously wiped away the tears that fell on her cheeks. She could never forget the pitifully small conversation between her and Qiu Yuqing before Han Wei arrived.

"Qiu Yuqing, An Jiayue is dead, do you want to follow her? She is such an irresponsible person, do you want to become as irresponsible as her? I know you are bitter, sad, and wronged. Then you cry, you don’t cry, you don’t vent, you keep holding it in your heart, the one who suffers in the end, isn’t it yourself?”

At that time, sitting in the chair, she didn't expect to hear the answer, but she received the answer unexpectedly.

"I dreamed...she came to me...really...she was standing on a lavender field...wearing a clean and loose white shirt...holding Xiaoxia in her arms...smiling at me..." It was the answer from the person lying on the bed with his eyes closed, who seemed to be talking in his sleep.

With a sound of "dong", Su Qing punched the wall regardless of the surprised eyes of passers-by.

An Jiayue, is this what you call being nice to her?

When Su Qing returned to the ward again, Cheng Yiqian bought some food because her family had to take a step ahead. After Han Wei ate it politely, she said goodbye to Su Qing.

"Han Wei, wait a minute." Han Wei walked out the door, and Su Qing followed, holding a dark red book in her hand, and closed the door to silence the sound.

This... Isn't it An Jiayue's diary that Qiu Yuqing took away the day before yesterday?

Seeing the other party's doubts, Su Qing handed the book to Han Wei: "Here, take a good look at it."

Then, before Han Wei could ask the doubts in her heart, Su Qing handed her the notebook, opened the door again, and walked into the room.

With a perplexed expression, Han Wei patiently flipped through the diary page by page. When she reached the last entry, her eyes changed from confusion to shock, and then from shock to scarlet.

The top row of black characters should be written by An Jiayue to Qiu Yuqing, which she has never seen before, and the bottom row of red characters should be written by Qiu Yuqing to An Jiayue.

If heaven is too crowded, let's go to hell together.

That's right.

An Jiayue, after you call me, how dare you believe in this fragile love?

This three-year forbidden love finally ended in this way.

In the ward, Su Qing sat back on the chair again, looked at Qiu Yuqing who had woken up but refused to face the truth with red eyes, and held the cold hand of the other party.

"You have to live well, in a world without her."

A drop of tear squeezed out from the girl's tightly closed eyes, across her pale face, and finally disappeared without a trace.

We finally wrote our own chapters in our respective years.