Scumbag, wait for me!

Chapter 31

Xiaomei stood blankly at the door of the bedroom, this situation obviously exceeded her expectations.

She couldn't tell Song Man everything frankly, and she couldn't even predict what was going on in the bedroom?

How should Chen Fan explain to his family, for a job?Or...for a man?

Xiaomei clenched her hands tightly, her fingernails clasping her palms in pain. At this moment, she was suddenly angry with Chen Fan, angry at his cowardice and impulsiveness, angry at how he could give up his life so easily for a man .

When she looked up, she just saw Song Man who had hung up the phone and walked towards her.

Song Man said lightly: "Let's go."

The two took one last look at the bedroom, opened the door, and walked downstairs together.

In the lonely light, in the silent night, the loving people will eventually be mercilessly separated.

When he woke up the next day, Chen Fan felt that his head still hurt a little, and when he got up from the bed, his hands and feet were still trembling.

Picking up the note on the table, it simply said: Son, breakfast is on the table for you.

His eye sockets gradually turned red, and he carefully folded the note and put it in the notebook.

Last night when Chen Fan's thoughts suddenly returned, he raised his eyes and saw Hao Guixiang's old face covered with tears. At that moment, he suddenly felt that his heart that had stopped for two days had regained the sense of pain.

He seems to have become the helpless boy he was when he was a child again, but this time, he was finally able to throw himself into his mother's arms and cry loudly. While crying, he said aggrievedly: "Mom, they wronged me! Why did they wrong me?" I... I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I made you worry... I'm sorry..."

Hao Guixiang instantly felt as if a string was tense all over her body.My son didn't get much love since he was a child, so he didn't forget to say sorry even when he was crying.

She gently stroked Chen Fan's back and said, "It's okay, everything will be fine!"

When you are desperate, you always think that everything will be fine. This is more like an ancient mantra, full of hope, as long as you say it aloud, all problems can be solved.

Chen Fan buried his face in his mother's lap, bit his lower lip fiercely, and mournfully said, "Mom, I fell in love with a man, but he doesn't love me..."

"A...man..." Hao Guixiang said this sentence silently, there was a seemingly inadvertent pause in the middle, but there was some inexplicable meaning at the end.Her hand hung in the air for a long time, before she gently placed it on Chen Fan's back, and said softly: "Fool, my own son, how could he not know?"

Chen Fan rubbed his face, and looked up tentatively at Hao Guixiang like a kitten.

Hao Guixiang touched his face and said, "In the sixth grade, you use □□ to confess your love to the boys in the class, and they agree."

Seeing Chen Fan's face full of surprise, she hurriedly added the second half of the sentence: "I didn't peek at it, but you forgot to turn it off, and the computer kept ringing."

"So, you already knew?"

Hao Guixiang smiled helplessly and said, "It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman? You will always be my son."

"Mom..." Chen Fan's body vibrated vibrately.

Hao Guixiang raised her hand again and gently touched Chen Fan's head, saying, "Son, no matter who you love, you must remember that you must learn to love yourself first, because you are the most precious...so, no matter who you love , you must remember your preciousness..."

Thinking back suddenly, only mother's words remained in my mind.

Chen Fan stroked his diary. It was a thick book, filled with all his love for Meng Xin that he could say and could not say.

For two full years, he had exhausted all his strength for such a deep feeling, torn and shouted in this love, all the purest and strongest feelings, as well as those unwillingness, resentment, and jealousy that are full of human ugliness , All of it was given to this man.

In the end, even risked his own life?Is it worth it?

How can I love him enough to lose myself?

A drop of tear fell and hit the cover of the diary. Chen Fan felt that he was really tired. Yes, he was always looking forward to and approaching. Even in the end, he directed a one-man show by himself and left pretendingly. .

In fact, all farewells are silent, just like now...

He raised his hand, wiped away the tear stains on the cover, picked it up, and threw it into the trash can under the table.

Chen Fan opened the door, walked out of the bedroom, and saw a familiar figure on the sofa as soon as he looked up.

Meng Xin's complexion was not good. With thick dark circles under his eyes and blue stubble on his chin, he looked extremely haggard. When he saw Chen Fan, he became more and more embarrassed.

He came over in a hurry, bit his lip, and it took him a long time to say: "You... are you okay..."

To be honest, Chen Fan swallowed the medicine and shut himself up at night. When he was still conscious, he kept looking forward to the fact that the person who opened the door yesterday was Meng Xin, but until this moment, he suddenly didn't feel anything.

He felt that the person in front of him was very strange, so strange that if this person left, he would immediately forget this person's face.

Chen Fan avoided Meng Xin's gaze, sat down on the chair by the dining table, and said, "I'm fine."

Meng Xin plucked up his courage and walked over to hold Chen Fan's shoulder.

He didn't sleep or eat for a whole night, and he rushed back like crazy on the first bus. He just wanted to tell him, just one sentence: "It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I don't dare to love you. I don't want to drag you down..."

But what if it's over?

Chen Fan raised his head, his eyes met, and the two looked at each other, but Meng Xin looked away in the next second.

Chen Fan pushed Meng Xin's hand away and said, "Let's go, don't come here again, I will delete all the contact information, please...delete me too."

Meng Xin clenched his fists tightly and stood motionless, as if he didn't hear what Chen Fan said, not a single word.

Chen Fan stood up and opened the door, and said flatly, "Meng Xin, you go, I don't love you anymore..."

Meng Xin looked up, held Chen Fan's hand, and asked, "What do you mean you don't love me anymore? How can you say that you don't love me if you don't love me? You can't...I..."

Chen Fan sneered and said, "You are really domineering." He shook off Meng Xin's hand and continued, "Meng Xin, I really don't love you anymore, or rather, I have passed the time when I loved you the most. , once the time passes, the remaining feelings will be exhausted, do you understand?"

"I don't understand." Meng Xin raised his hand and hugged Chen Fan tightly.

Chen Fan's eyes were slightly red, he raised his hand and patted Meng Xin's shoulder and said, "Meng Xin, I'm not your toy, I'm a human being with flesh and blood, I've lost myself for too long, it's time The old me is back."

"But...Chen Fan...I...I have always loved you...I just don't want to drag you down...I..."

"Meng Xin." Chen Fan sighed and said, "This is just an excuse for your cowardice, you know? It was never your reluctance to accept my feelings that hurt me, but your fear and Indecisive, you are too selfish..."

Hearing the last sentence, Meng Xin was obviously stunned for a moment, he hesitated and put down his hands slowly, the words that followed sounded more like talking to himself: "Yeah, I'm too selfish, I selfishly keep you by my side , but I have never considered your feelings, I dare not accept your feelings, and I am reluctant to let you go..."

Chen Fan lowered his head slightly, and said: "Meng Xin, I was willing to risk my life to love you, but at this moment, I suddenly realized that the world is beautiful, and you are not worth it, or that no one It's worth it."

Meng Xin raised his head and looked at Chen Fan. The sun shone through the window and hit the man's back, shining brightly on the man in front of him. The little boy, I don't know when, has grown into a real man, a complete person who has found himself and can really enjoy life for the rest of his life.

In this way, it's very good... Really, very good... It's a lot colder, and it's also a lot stronger...

Meng Xin raised his hand again, finally hugged Chen Fan tightly, and said softly: "That person, I have never had any relationship with him, that's why I committed suicide. I really love you, so I will kill you." Chased back."

He let go of his hand, raised the corners of his mouth, tried to force a smile, and said, "The breakfast that Auntie bought for you is afraid of getting cold, so I'll keep it warm in the pot, so you can eat it while it's hot."

Chen Fan frowned: "How did you get in here..."

Meng Xin sighed heavily, and said: "I sat in the corridor for two hours before our mother came out. She said, if I love you, I will get out, if I don't love you, I have to get out, so..."

【End of full text】

The author has something to say: Sometimes getting love is not important, finding yourself is the most sincere warmth ~ Happy New Year everyone!