Scumbag, wait for me!

Chapter 23

After lunch, Chen Fan finally sent Meng Xin out of the house.

In the end, Meng Xin still didn't eat the dishes made by Chen Fan himself. It was almost noon after the two talked, and Chen Fan ordered some porridge and side dishes, which were regarded as standard meals for sick patients.

Meng Xin drank half full with a miserable face, and went to catch the afternoon shift with an unhappy face.

Chen Fan watched the person go downstairs, and then closed the door. Until now, his brain was still dazed, Meng Xin's face seemed to be still in front of his eyes, and his voice was still echoing in his ears...

Why... why the result, why him?

He has always felt that his "fate is not good", but now, from Meng Xin's body, he truly understands what is really "fate".

What kind of despair is that without a reason, without a solution, or even a way to confide in anyone.

There is nothing ahead, so what about the future?What to do in the future...

Chen Fan stared around the room blankly, and finally went to bed exhausted all over.

From last night to now, he had shed too many tears, and at this moment, he actually felt that he had no strength at all.

Although his head was resting against the pillow, he didn't feel sleepy at all. Chen Fan took out his mobile phone and entered the browser, tapped with his finger, and entered a few letters.

He changed one webpage after another, looking at the same symptoms, causes, conditions, and solutions for a whole afternoon.

It seemed that only in this way could he have the slightest sense of security.

What should we do?

He typed the word "late" uncontrollably. Even though he knew that what he saw would be cruel, he still couldn't help opening the page.

After all, he has always been such a bereaved person. Whenever something happens, he immediately thinks about all the endings and singles out the worst one to test his bottom line.After reading it, he finally had a reason to convince himself to accept it, and in the end, he had a feeling of "controlling the choice".

In fact, as weak as a human being, what can you control?

It's nothing more than having a mental preparation in advance, and when the thing really comes, because I have acted it out countless times in my mind, it won't feel too sudden.

Looking at the pictures in the photos that were as thin as bones and covered with pustules, his hands trembled uncontrollably, and after a while, a tear fell from the corner of his eye.

He sniffed, exited the interface, and took a deep breath.

buzzing————

The phone vibrated, he glanced at the phone, Shi Xiaomei.Looking at the watch again, it was almost three o'clock, and he completely forgot about going to work.

As soon as he picked it up, Xiaomei yelled out loudly: "Brother Fan, where are you? The big mother rat wants to eat you now, you have a mental preparation..."

"I..." Chen Fan said with an obvious hoarse voice, "I don't feel well, I got caught in the rain last night..."

"In the rain?" Xiaomei hesitated and said, "Then if you don't ask for a leave in advance, absenteeism will be very troublesome."

"Just tell me, how she likes to buckle? That's it..."

"Hey! Brother Fan...you..."

Before Xiaomei finished speaking, Chen Fan hung up the phone.

At this moment, he felt that his head might burst at any moment, and he hadn't felt this way for a long time. Finally, he couldn't hold it anymore, and slowly closed his eyes.

In the dream, there was a boy standing in the sun, smiling at him with the corners of his lips raised.

He couldn't see the boy's face clearly, so he could only approach step by step, and raised his hand to grab the man's arm.

The tactile sensation of the skin under the strong body is so obvious... so good... I finally caught you...

When Chen Fan woke up, it was already the next morning. When he opened his eyes, he saw dozens of messages on the phone screen.

He flipped through it hastily, and it was all from Wang Xiang:

"Do you really have to ignore me?"

"Why can you walk so calmly?"

"Don't you love me?"

One by one, Chen Fan just glanced at it briefly, and felt upset. He felt like he had been bombed wildly for three days. He scanned the last one and finally slowed down.

Wang Xiang said: "I didn't leave after sending the message that day, I stood in the rain and waited for you, but you didn't come back..."

After watching it, his heart was instantly surrounded by powerful regrets, and the feeling of not being able to love was all too familiar.

He turned off his phone, and couldn't help but think of that person again.

Maybe... Meng Xin was right.

So what if you like it?Can't you really bet your life for love?

What's more...Even if he is willing, Meng Xin doesn't love him...

Thinking of this, he knew clearly that the two of them could never be together.

forever……

Chen Fan sighed, turned on the phone again, and sent a message to Wang Xiang: "I have to go to the store today. I work late. Would you like to come and see me?"

After a long time, Chen Fan received the "hmm" from Wang Xiang.

Just such a word, Chen Fan stared at the phone screen for a long time, at this moment, he suddenly had a strong feeling, maybe...he and Meng Xin are really over...

Thinking of this, his eyes turned red again, and with a light touch of his finger, he replied honestly to Wang Xiang: "I miss you..."

After sending this sentence, the phone vibrated immediately, and Wang Xiang said, "Me too..."

Chen Fan turned off the phone and held the phone in his arms.

He lay still for a long time, and it was almost noon before he sat up, and suddenly opened the curtains, and the noon sun immediately flooded the whole room.

What a long-lost sunshine...

It was almost ten o'clock in the evening when Chen Fan received a message from Wang Xiang, saying, "I'm here."

"it is good."

After a while, Chen Fan saw that no one came in at the door, and asked, "I have a while, why don't you come in?"

"No, I'll wait for you outside."

Chen Fan frowned, the two of them... are still somewhat different.

He cleaned up the counter, changed his clothes, and when he closed the cabinet, he took a deep breath, picked up his bag and went out.

As soon as the door opened, Chen Fan saw the back on the steps.Wang Xiang was sitting on the lower steps facing the road, his cigarette butts flickering between his fingers.

Chen Fan walked down the steps until he got closer, but Wang Xiang didn't turn around, it seemed that he was distracted all the time.

"What are you thinking about?" Chen Fan sat down beside Wang Xiang.

But after two days of not seeing each other, Wang Xiang lost a lot of weight.

Wang Xiang suddenly heard Chen Fan's words, he was stunned for a moment, the corners of his mouth were pulled, he squeezed out a slightly embarrassed smile, and said, "Get off work?"

"Well, there are a lot of people today, so I delayed it."

"Oh……"

Chen Fan felt distressed when he saw the boy's distraught look, and asked, "Are you hungry? Let's go, I'll take you to eat something."

"Ah? No... not hungry... I just ate it."

"Hmm." Chen Fan didn't know what to answer, so he snorted sullenly, "Then we..."

He originally wanted to say, "Then we can't just sit at the door of the store...", but Wang Xiang gave him a glare before he finished speaking.

It’s okay to finish this sentence, but halfway through, I always feel that there is something wrong?

"Let's go... I've opened the room..." Wang Xiang hesitated for a while and said dejectedly.

Chen Fan pinched his fingertips fiercely. He was simply an asshole. If he didn't meet, he would say "open house" when he met. Looking at the person in front of him, he really wanted to slap himself hard. .

He immediately explained: "No... I didn't mean that..."

Wang Xiang stood up, didn't argue anything, just said lightly: "Let's go." After speaking, he walked forward alone without looking back.

Chen Fan quickly grabbed the bag, chased him out, grabbed Wang Xiang, and said, "I really didn't mean that."

Wang Xiang pushed Chen Fan away and said, "Chen Fan, what do you really want? I've done this, do you think it's not enough? I must... I must kneel down and beg you, be kind and righteous, don't Will you be satisfied if you torture me again?"

Chen Fan clenched his fists and stood there without saying a word. He knew that Wang Xiang had accumulated too much in the past two days.

Seeing Chen Fan's indifferent look, Wang Xiang was even angrier. All along, what he wanted was just this person's attitude, but...

He said weakly: "I have done everything I can, do you really have nothing to say to me?"

Only then did Chen Fan raise his head, looked into Wang Xiang's eyes and said, "I..." But he didn't know where to start when the words came to his lips?

That night, the next day, all the time I can remember is Meng Xin's shadow.

Seeing his hesitation, Wang Xiang immediately got angry, gritted his teeth and nodded at him, crushed the cigarette butt in his hand and threw it on the ground, saying, "I'm so fucking sick!"

He walked forward quickly, and Chen Fan immediately chased after him, grabbed his arm and held him in his arms.

"What are you doing..." Wang Xiang said while pushing him away, "Big... on the street? What kind of hooligan are you..."

"Don't move..." After a long time, Chen Fan said in a hoarse voice. His voice sounded so weak that Wang Xiang immediately lost his temper.

"You...what's the matter with you..." Wang Xiang realized that there seemed to be something wrong with Chen Fan today, just like...a tree whose trunk was taken out. He asked, "Are you ...did something happen to you?"

"Hmm..." After a long time, Chen Fan responded.

Wang Xiang had never seen Chen Fan so depressed before. He pushed Chen Fan away and said, "What's wrong with you? What happened to you?"

Chen Fan looked at him, shook his head, and said, "I...I was going back that day, but when I received your text message, I thought... thought you didn't want me..."

Wang Xiang lowered his eyebrows and did not answer.

Chen Fan continued: "Meng Xin and I are really just friends. He gave me something that day. When he came, I found that he had a fever. I couldn't leave him alone in the rain."

When Wang Xiang heard it, his eyes were slightly red, and he said, "But..."

Chen Fan supported Wang Xiang's shoulders, turned him to himself, and said word by word: "No but, it is impossible for me to have this person in my life."

He said every word firmly, with a sharp tone, and even Chen Fan didn't know whether he was speaking to Wang Xiang or warning himself.

Chen Fan breathed a sigh of relief and continued: "I...I didn't reply to your text message because I got caught in the rain and slept for two whole days. I..."

"I see." Wang Xiang interrupted him, held his breath, and seemed to muster up a lot of courage, and asked, "You...do you still have feelings for him?"

Chen Fan was at a loss for words for a while, how could it be possible that there is no one who has loved for more than half a year?But... Forget it, he shook his head and said, "I just want to be with you properly now."

Wang Xiang got the answer he wanted, and said: "Then... can you delete him, stop communicating with him, and completely cut off contact?"

"No." Chen Fan blurted out without thinking.

Meng Xin had just finished talking to him about himself, and he chose to break up with him at this moment, did he know what it meant?This is so cruel!

"You...you don't want to..." As soon as he finished speaking, Wang Xiang's expression changed.

Chen Fan looked at Wang Xiang and said earnestly: "We have never been together before, he is not my ex, and I am just him...just a normal friend, be more mature, okay?"

"Mature, you want to say that I..."

"I didn't mean that." Chen Fan immediately interrupted Wang Xiang, hugged him again, and said, "I'm so tired! Don't torture me anymore? Let's stop arguing, okay?"

Wang Xiang clenched his fist, but finally let go.He stroked Chen Fan's back and whispered, "Okay."

After listening to Chen Fan, he finally breathed a sigh of relief. He put his head on Wang Xiang's shoulder, slowly closed his eyes, and said to himself over and over again: It's really over...

Time is like a huge torrent, and human beings are just tiny dust. We are in the secular world, what right do we have to say "no"?

Not good, dare not, unwilling, unwilling, not sad...

The only one who can try to do well... is himself, such as the sentence: I don't love you anymore...

Birth, old age, sickness and death are so repeated, since there is nothing about the way back, why bother to ask about the way back?