Scumbag, wait for me!

Chapter 14

What kind of mood do you like?

It is the willingness time and time again, willing to approach the rose flower full of thorns, and be bloodied by the thorns on the flower, and still be able to say with a smile: This flower is so beautiful.

It's being cautious again and again, afraid of lightness and heavyness, afraid of distance and nearness, just asking that person to look back at me, even if it's just because of being moved.

It's going round and round again and again, forgetting all the pain instantly, as long as I can see him smiling at me, I feel as satisfied as if I have been given anesthesia, until my heart is riddled with holes.

So, what kind of feeling is forgetting?

I have experienced all of the above, and now recalling it, it is like recalling other people's stories. My heart is cold, but it is enough to make you burst into tears unconsciously.

Those things about love are really a joke...

The road leading to the hotel was wide and long, and the dim street lights cast a long shadow on Chen Fan, moving forward slowly.

He turned a corner and entered the city's famous red light district. Several girls and young men stood under the colorful and changing neon lights.

The bars on this street are next to the bars, and the rhythmic sound hits the ground, pulling the ground to tremble. Vehicles are lined up at the entrance of the block. BMWs and Audis, among them, are mostly mid-to-high-end luxury cars, and the styles are still relatively young. .

Occasionally, there are a few backpackers who stand outside the store and keep taking pictures. These people seem to be tourists at first glance, which arouses the eyes of many soliciting customers.

Chen Fan followed this group of people, walking slowly on the street, his mind was always distracted...

Do you really have to do this?To be honest, if he really gave up on himself, he still had thousands of considerations in his heart.

Will there be any security issues?It always feels bad, doesn't it?I'm not a debauched person!Forget it, it's all here... let's go...

He felt a little uneasy, that feeling was like wetting the bed for the first time, playing with fire for the first time, or pulling away the stool from the boy in front of him in class, it was exciting and curious.

Chen Fan was thinking about it, but for some reason, he collided with the person in front of him. The huge momentum caused him to lose his center of gravity for a moment. He took a step back and immediately sprained his foot.When he was about to fall to the ground, he did not forget to reach out to support the person in front of him.

A smell of cheap cologne and alcohol rushed towards his face. Chen Fan looked down and saw that the person in his arms had heavy eyeliner, short hair covering his face, and his whole body was limp, lying on his body.

It was just after ten o'clock, and I drank like this.

Chen Fan carefully helped the man up, and the man pulled his arm, "hehe" said with a smile: "So...so I'm a little brother...today...today I'm in high spirits, let's go... let's let you Taking advantage..." As he spoke, he was about to take Chen Fan to the side of the road.

Chen Fan was so frightened that he quickly let go of his hand. The man's body softened and he was about to fall again. He hesitated, but still supported the man.

A few men and women smoking across the street whistled at Chen Fan: "Hey! You're lucky today, he lost the bet, and he delivered it to his door automatically! Pull it away, there will be no more land after this village!"

Chen Fan frowned, pulled the man to hold on to the electric pole by the side of the road, and hurriedly took a few steps to avoid it.

A man across the street shouted again: "You don't want the ones delivered to your door, Da Liu, you are ashamed to throw it at grandma's house!"

The man leaning on the telegraph pole became anxious when he heard this, sniffled his nose and said, "You son of a bitch, why are you running! The aura on your body has already floated two miles away, don't pretend to be innocent, you really have to pretend!" , get out of this street!"

"Hahaha……"

"Hey hey hey..."

"That's right, what are you pretending..."

People across the street joined the man in shouting, mingling with laughter and sarcasm.The pedestrians passing by all turned their heads and whispered in twos and threes, as if discussing something.

Chen Fan's face was hot, the lunatic was shameless, and he had to be shameless.

He bowed his head and shrunk his neck, as if he had done something wrong, hid in the back of the car in desperation, and walked quickly to the street.It wasn't until there were fewer and fewer people that the surroundings became completely quiet. He slowly slowed down, and just as he regained his senses, he suddenly felt swelling and pain in his ankles.

Chen Fan limped two steps and sat down by the flower table.

He pulled down his socks and looked at them with the light of his phone. His ankles were a little red and swollen.He tried to shake it. Although the pain was obvious, his muscles and bones should not be injured. Walking should not be a problem, but it might be swollen for a few days.

woof woof———

The barking of the dog startled Chen Fan, two little yellow earth dogs suddenly came out from the dark place and circled him several times.

Chen Fan let out a breath, looked up to the end of the road, the sky was blue to purple, the color was thin and translucent, layer upon layer, always boundless.

At this moment, he was truly surrounded by a deep sense of loneliness, as if someone was holding a stick in his heart, constantly disturbing him, and he felt very uncomfortable.

He suddenly remembered the scene he had just experienced, and those mocking voices were still vivid in his memory.

Chen Fan sighed heavily again, feeling confused like never before.

Along the way, what is really your own thing, do you have to have some experience?Is this world really worth looking forward to?

Loneliness needs to be internalized, but now, gathering in Chen Fan's heart, it gradually becomes a kind of resentment.Many emotions that had been strong and had no place to express were now weighing heavily on his heart, making it very uncomfortable to hold back.

buzzing————

The phone vibrated suddenly, and Chen Fan took it out to take a look. It was from the "children": "Room number 402, come quickly, I'll wait for you!"

He grabbed the phone, his hands were slightly tight, his knuckles were protruding, his brows were furrowed, his fingertips began to fall up and down on the screen, and he quickly replied: "I'll be there soon."

He installed the phone, stood up, and walked along the secluded inner street alone.

Scenes of the past are like giant-screen movies, passing by one after another:

Meng Xin said: "Chen Fan, you have to protect yourself..."

Meng Xin said: "You are still young, the road has just begun, you need more choices..."

Meng Xin said: "Chen Fan, I don't want you, I despise you..."

Strange, how did Meng Xin talk so much?The bad thing is, why do I remember every sentence...

Chen Fan finally walked to the street, stopped, and looked up, the four characters of "Heartbeat Space" were printed on the colorful light tubes of the pirate ship.

He raised the corner of his mouth, showing a wry smile that seemed vague, and said to himself silently: "Chen Fan, you have grown up..."

When the two adults in the family just divorced, they disappeared together as agreed upon. Hao Guixiang went home to carry the luggage by herself. She had been in this family for 16 years, and only took a small suitcase when she left.

The 14-year-old Chen Fan just stood at the door and wiped his tears silently, until the moment Hao Guixiang left, he rushed over and hugged Hao Guixiang's waist, and the half-grown boy cried "Wow".

With red eyes, Hao Guixiang bent down to help Chen Fan wipe away his tears, and then told Chen Fan the first lie in his life: "Xiao Fan, don't worry, even if mother leaves, she will always be your mother, and she will always be your mother." Come back to see you."

However, since she left, she never came back to see Chen Fan.Within a year, Hao Guixiang married another man, and two years later, she gave birth to another girl, who was someone else's mother.

Chen Fan also did not expect that Hao Guixiang's first lie was just the beginning, and she told countless lies afterwards, so many that Chen Fan couldn't remember.

After Hao Guixiang left, Chen Fuguo disappeared together.

It is not accurate to say that she is missing. Aunt Wang next door saw Chen Fan who was going to school alone in the morning, and said, "Oh, what a crime, mother doesn't love me, and father doesn't hurt anymore. I've been in the mahjong parlor from day to night. It's ruined!" After finishing speaking, he was about to stuff the bun in his hand to Chen Fan.

Chen Fan felt terrified in his heart, kept backing away, and ran away in a panic.In fact, he didn't know what he was afraid of. Aunt Wang next door watched him grow up to 14 years old, why he disappeared only two days ago, it was like seeing a ghost.It wasn't until he was an adult that he realized that it was the shame of a broken family.

Since that day, he has never accepted anyone seriously in his heart, including his parents.He longs to be loved, but he can't believe that there will be long-lasting feelings between people.He feels that even if he wants to, others will definitely leave because of some realistic factors.

Similarly, he never felt that he was worthy of being loved. It was not until he met Meng Xin that he felt a little bit of being held in the palm of his hand.

But now, it's over.

It doesn't matter if it's over, anyway, sooner or later it will end.

……

Chen Fan knocked on the door cautiously.

click ---

The door lock rang, and it was opened from the inside. From the crack of the door came a boy's unique teenage voice: "Come in, I'm taking a shower."

Chen Fan raised his hand, and the cold touch on the doorknob was very real. Looking down, there was a series of wet footprints on the blanket, which continued to the door of the bathroom. obvious.

Chen Fan walked in cautiously, his ankle was still aching, and he still couldn't walk easily.He glanced around, the room was neatly arranged, the most conspicuous thing was a large bed that almost occupied the entire room.

On one side of the bed, the quilt was turned over, jeans and shirts were piled up, and some blue and white stripes of underwear were faintly exposed at the belt.

Chen Fan put on his slippers, put his bag on the TV cabinet, and sat down on the chair, trying not to make any loud noises.

The sound of water stopped suddenly, and Chen Fan looked along the door of the bathroom.

The boy came out wrapped in a bathrobe, with a long towel hanging around his neck to wipe his hair, his eyes were bright and energetic, almost the same as in the photo, this person would really stand out in the crowd.

The corner of the boy's mouth was raised, and with a faint smile, he said, "Come here?" His tone was familiar, as if he had known Chen Fan for many years.

"Hmm..." Chen Fan stood up and said, "I...I'm going to take a shower too."

In fact, Chen Fan had just washed it when he went out, but this time, for some reason, he always felt that he should wash it again.

"Wait, let the moisture in the bathroom disperse. I just finished washing, so I'm a little stuffy." After finishing speaking, the boy leaned against the bedside table, his bathrobe was open, and his collarbone was obvious, and said, "You and the photo... ..."

When Chen Fan heard this, he immediately became nervous...

"Your temperament is very different from that in the photo, but you are also very good."

Very good, where is it...

Chen Fan's palms were filled with excitement, he sat down on the chair again, rubbed his hands along the edge of his pants calmly, and said, "You are similar to the photo..."

This sentence is actually a very high evaluation.

The boy asked: "Do you often come out to play?"

The man caught off guard and got to the point, making Chen Fan stunned for a moment, and then he said the truth without warning, "Not often... What about you?"

"Fortunately."

Chen Fan breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's okay..."

Fortunately, where is it?Chen Fan also couldn't tell.

The two of them had no more words, you looked at me, I looked back at you, the atmosphere suddenly became awkward.

The boy stood up suddenly, approached Chen Fan, cupped his face with both hands, met his eyes, and kissed his lips.A set of movements is so smooth and flowing, there is no time for people to think.

That's it... started?

Unprepared, Chen Fan subconsciously followed the man's movements and raised his head to cater to him.

You should know that there are some things that you don't need to learn, food and sex are also human nature.

He gripped the side of the chair tightly with his hands, and said intermittently: "I...I haven't showered yet..."

While the man was panting, he replied hesitantly: "No...you don't need to wash it, you smell very fragrant..."

"We..." Chen Fan stood up, and the two of them fell on the bed together tacitly.

The boy pawed on Chen Fan's body and said, "No...don't think about it, just follow the feeling...that feeling...is very happy..."

A light flashed in my mind, Meng Xin said, happiness is the cheapest...

Chen Fan opened his eyes wide and stared straight at the ceiling. At this moment, he could no longer recall Meng Xin's appearance, and even felt that he had really forgotten about this person.

Next, with [-]% enthusiasm, he followed the rhythm of another person, experiencing the most free and ordinary happiness in the world.

There is no doubt that he met a good bed for the first time, and he was able to enjoy a short but happy night with his young self.

The nature of animals has been completely liberated. At this moment, there is no such thing as zero and one. For a moment, Chen Fan felt that he was lying naked in an ocean. Loud enough to keep ringing in my ears.

It wasn't until I was too sleepy that I gradually closed my eyes and let my body float in the sea water.

When he was about to fall asleep, he suddenly remembered what he had read on the Internet: the personal test is effective!Five-star praise, the fastest way to forget someone: let yourself go, embrace fresh meat!

There was a smile unconsciously on the corner of his mouth, it was really sad, it turns out that there are so many people in this world who want to forget something.

After dawn, Chen Fan didn't sleep so soundly for a whole week.

As soon as he woke up, he felt that his back was sore and his back hurt, and he opened his eyes in a daze. There was a big blackout curtain in the room, and he couldn't tell what time it was.

The people around him were still asleep with their heads covered, and there was no sign of waking up.

Chen Fan turned over slowly, and as soon as he lay down, a voice came from beside him: "You're awake..."

"Did it wake you up?" After all, it was considered "skin-friendly", Chen Fan's talking voice was much more proactive and gentle than last night.

"No, I woke up a long time ago. Seeing that you haven't woken up, I didn't move." After the man finished speaking, he sat up a little, turned on the light at the bedside, and half leaned on the soft pillow. He lowered his head slightly, his collarbone against the light, The chest line is obvious, really beautiful.

He glanced at Chen Fan and said, "Is this your first time?"

"Huh?" Chen Fan didn't know how to answer, he hesitated, and then said "Huh" again.

"Why did you come out for a date?"

Hearing this, Chen Fan relaxed his mood all night, and suddenly became depressed, saying, "I was dumped."

"Hmph!" The people around me accidentally laughed.

Chen Fan looked at this person in surprise.

The boy immediately said: "Don't get me wrong, I just feel that if I make an appointment, I can make an appointment with someone who is related to the same disease. I feel helpless?"

"You too?"

The boy nodded, glanced at Chen Fan and said, "Are you still sad?"

"I have been sad for many days, and I feel that it is time to forget."

"I understand how you feel."

"I understand you" is almost the most elusive fate in this world, but at this moment, Chen Fan looked at the sincere gaze in the eyes of the person in front of him and the maturity beyond his age, and suddenly felt that he might really understand.

The boy suddenly bent down, shrank into the quilt and hugged Chen Fan, saying, "Since no one loves us, let's love each other."

Hearing these words, Chen Fan's body trembled abruptly, and the unique temperature of the young man's body came over. The two hearts were close to each other, feeling each other's heat.

The boy put his lips close to Chen Fan's ear, and whispered, "I love you, do you love me?"

Love is really a strange thing, in order to make Meng Xin love him more, how many times, he threw his self-esteem on the ground and asked shamelessly, but Meng Xin would rather risk the risk of breaking up the relationship than to say it.

But now, at another time, another place, and another person, this sentence can be easily uttered by another person, to Chen Fan.

Chen Fan hugged him tightly, and said out of nowhere: "I love you..."

Since love is so cheap, why should he keep fighting with himself? At this moment, he suddenly understood the lies that Hao Guixiang told him when he was a child. It is important, whether the liar is in a comfortable mood at the moment is the most important thing.

Forget the guilt in your heart, only pay attention to the feelings in your heart, and you can tell a sincere lie at any time. Look, what's wrong with being selfish?

But it's just a sentence.

Thinking of this, he hugged the boy's arm even tighter.

After a while, the boy patted him on the shoulder and said, "It's getting late, I have to go back to school and take a shower." After he said this, Chen Fan realized that he was actually a little greedy for the temperature of this person , reluctant to let go.

With a gentle voice, the boy patted him again and said, "Good boy, see you next time."

Chen Fan let go and murmured, "Next time..."

The boy nodded to him and said, "Of course." He got up, got out of the bed with a naked body, and said, "My name is Wang Xiang." He didn't ask Chen Fan's name, but Chen Fan took the initiative to hold him back, saying: " My name is Chen Fan."

"I remember." Chen Fan let go of his hand, the boy stood up and walked to the bathroom.

Chen Fan looked at the back of the man who was getting farther and farther away, and suddenly lost his mind, thinking of the "I love you" just now, feeling very complicated.

He felt that his eyes were a little sore, and rubbed vigorously,

There was a "squeaking" sound of water in the bathroom, hitting the ground with reverberation, and the sound was empty, just like his mood at the moment.

At this moment, Chen Fan felt as if he had lost something and could never find it again...

The author has something to say: it’s an extra version again, please call me a hardworking little angel~