Qingyang as promised

Chapter 11

Ye Qingyuan, why don't you have a girlfriend.

I have someone I like.What I like is a man, this man is younger than me, several years younger, he should be called a boy.The boy is handsome, confident, smart, and filial.He'd solve a geometry problem several ways, and then trick me into making him dinner as a reward.He loves smug beauty, but every Sunday morning when he stays in bed until he is too hungry, he stands on the balcony with fluffy hair and rubs his eyes and says to me, "Ye Qingyuan, what do we have for breakfast?" He doesn't know how stupid he is up.Except for class, he basically spends time in my bookstore, watching me cut my hair, watch me play chess, watch me tease children, watch me read books, I know all of these.He didn't know that he was pretending to recite words there, but he didn't read the book for half an hour.He, he also likes to tell me with his fingers where he wants to go after the college entrance examination, what job he wants to find in the future, and after he gets paid, he wants to buy beautiful clothes in the mall for his mother, a massage chair for his father, and the latest one for his cousin. Transformers suit.Every time after talking about his dream, he would seriously say to me: "Ye Qingyuan, I don't want to go back to Beijing. I want to find a job here. I like to be with you. My mother is still delicious, what should I do if I go back to Beijing and miss you." Then the eyes blinked and the eyelashes fluttered, shaking like a small fan.

But I can't say, okay, then you stay.

How can I say, my lovely little boy, do you know how people around you will look at us, do you know how sad your parents will be, do you know how much public opinion pressure two men will suffer from the outside world when they are together. At the age of 17, do you know what love is, what is responsibility and commitment? This throbbing may be washed away by reality after we have been together for two or three years. I said "Ye Qingyuan, I regret it, I fucking regret it, I don't want to be with you anymore, I don't want to continue this perverted relationship anymore."I like you so much, it hurts when I think of you quarreling and complaining to me in the future.Rather than this, I hope that after you get married and start a business, when your children and grandchildren are around your knees, when you recall the past, you will occasionally think of someone in a small southern town who accompanied you on a short journey at your best age.

So, I'm sorry, forgive my timidity and cowardice, we are just the most ordinary ordinary people, unable to resist the secular pressure of the long time to come.And this forbidden love will be buried in my heart as the most precious memory.

March 2007, 3.Negative.

After writing the last word, the black pen paused for a few seconds, and the hand holding the pen was clenched tightly. A tear fell on the paper, blurring a small piece of handwriting.