paranoid dependence

Chapter 26

Shen Nian moved to the school, because he had to bring the bedding and couldn't carry it alone, Gu Zhi even sent him to the school, he really did what he said when he agreed, he didn't mess around, and he agreed sincerely to live in the school.

When Shen Nian put away his things and sent him away, Gu Zhi had been sizing up the school, looking around, not knowing what he was looking at, but Shen Nian suddenly thought of something in Gu Zhi's figure, That means Gu Zhi should go to school too.

When he ran away from home, Shen Chongshan had already contacted the middle school he was going to attend, which was the school Shen Nian was at. Maybe it was because it was easy to take care of, or maybe he had other plans, but no matter what it was, it would follow Gu Zhi's wishes. Leaving ended without a problem.

Now that he is back, he has to study.

"When are you going back to school?" Shen Nian asked.

Gu Zhi didn't seem to expect him to ask such a question, looked back at him, and said without any hesitation, "I don't go to school."

Not going to school is not not wanting to go to school.Shen Nian understood Gu Zhi's meaning almost immediately, he didn't want to use Shen Chongshan's money.

Shen Nian has always felt that Gu Zhi's scheming is almost terrifying, he is not what a child should look like at all, although he is paranoid, he is also mature, but at this moment Shen Nian realizes that he is just a child, with a naive and childish side. For example now.

He understood Gu Zhi's resentment towards Shen Chongshan, and also understood his determination to draw a clear line with Shen Chongshan, but Shen Nian could not agree with this way of self-destructive future.

It's just that before he said anything, Gu Zhi had already seen what Shen Nian meant: "You want me to go to school?"

"You can't live like this forever."

"I don't want to spend his money." Gu Zhi said honestly.

"I know." Shen Nian stopped and looked at him: "But you also live in his house, and the food I cook for you is also bought with the money he gave me, so in essence you are still spending his money, it's nothing the difference."

After Shen Nian said this, he walked forward without any further persuasion. It seems that the relationship between the two of them can only let him talk up to this point. The choice after that is up to Gu Zhi. If he doesn't want to, Shen Nian It is estimated that there will be no opinions, and the relationship between them has not reached the point where they can interfere with each other's life.

At least for now.

Gu Zhi stared at Shen Nian's back for a few seconds, then stepped up to follow, walked side by side with him after a few steps, and told him, "I'll listen to you."

Shen Nian responded lightly and had no special reaction, he was not happy because Gu Zhi listened to his persuasion, as if he knew that Gu Zhi would make this choice, and Gu Zhi was not disappointed because of Shen Nian's plainness, but quietly watched glanced at him:

"Have you told Shen Chongshan?"

About my return.

"Not yet." Shen Nian said, "But if you want to re-enroll, you must tell him. I'll give him a call."

Gu Zhi was a little reluctant, but he didn't object.

Shen Nian sent Gu Zhi to the bus stop at the school gate, and while waiting for the bus, she called Shen Chongshan, but what she got was a notification that the phone was turned off. Two consecutive calls had the same result. The bus came, but Shen Nian did not. Call again and say to Gu Zhi:

"I'll text and he'll get back to me when he sees it."

Gu Zhi shrugged his shoulders indifferently and got into the car.

It wasn't Saturday or Sunday, there weren't many people in the car, Gu Zhi sat in a window seat, smiled and waved to Shen Nian: "I'll pick you up on Friday!"

Shen Nian didn't say yes or no, turned around and went back to school.

The days of living in school were no different from before. Shen Nian's lack of social interaction might not be changed in this lifetime, but his luck in this aspect has always been good. His roommates were very talkative, and they didn't isolate him because of his indifference. , although not close, but it is also a normal roommate relationship, it does not seem that he is out of place.

What surprised Shen Nian was that the text messages he sent to Shen Chongshan had not been answered, and the phone calls he made were always turned off as usual. He felt a little uneasy, but there was no other way. He didn't even know the phone numbers of the people around Shen Chongshan. , but he was not in a hurry, thinking of asking the team to see if anyone knew about Shen Chongshan when he returned home on the weekend.

The last time Shen Nian stayed at the school, even on Saturdays and Sundays, she would still stay at the school. It was meaningless and unwilling to go back. Anyway, I was alone everywhere, but now it is different. I have someone at home to accompany me. Those who also need his company, he has to go back, even if it is to break the relationship between them.

But Gu Zhi who said he came to pick him up did not come, Shen Nian did not see him when he returned home, Gu Zhi was not at home.

Shen Nian didn't care about it at first, he didn't go to school now, and it's hard to bear the loneliness at home alone, maybe he went out to play, he cooked and waited at home, but he didn't care until the food got cold. Zhi didn't even come back, Shen Nian still didn't care, packed up the food and went back to the room to do homework.

It was at this time that Shen Chongshan's call came. Seeing Shen Chongshan's name on the phone, Shen Nian even felt a little lost. He couldn't remember when the last contact was made.

"Dad." Shen Nian answered the phone.

"Xiao Nian, have you called Dad these few days?" Shen Chongshan's voice sounded fine: "My phone was broken before, and I couldn't fix it on the road. I found a place to fix it when I got there, but the call records There is nothing left, I was worried that you called me, so I asked."

It turned out to be like this, Shen Nian let out a sigh of relief.

"I did." Shen Nian said, "There is one thing I want to tell you."

"what's up?"

Before Shen Nian said anything, Shen Chongshan's tone could already be heard to be happy. Shen Nian was sure that he didn't know about Gu Zhi's return, so Shen Chongshan's happiness was probably because he contacted him on his own initiative. Afterwards, Shen Nian never took the initiative to contact him.

Shen Nian understood Shen Chongshan's thoughts, but he subconsciously ignored Shen Chongshan's emotional changes:

"Gu Zhi is back."

There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone, followed by Shen Chongshan's unbelievable voice: "What did you say?"

"Gu Zhi is back." Shen Nian repeated again: "It's been a few days, I called you because I want you to come back and go through the enrollment procedures for Gu Zhi, I can't do it."

"It's good to be back, it's good to be back, it's good to be back!" Shen Chongshan said three times in a row. Even though he couldn't see his expression, he could hear how happy he was from his voice, but he was happy He could also find clues in Shen Nian's short words: "Xiao Nian, are you getting along well with Gu Zhi?"

It should be okay, otherwise I wouldn't care if he goes to school or not, and I can still call him about Gu Zhi's affairs.

Shen Nian didn't deny it either, after all Shen Chongshan would know about the change in his relationship with Gu Zhi after he came back, there was no need to conceal it, so he responded lightly:

"good."

I'm not lying, it's just fine.

But the fact that one was okay reassured Shen Chongshan a lot: "That's good, that's good."

Shen Nian knew that this was a normal reaction of a person, but he was not used to it. He could even think of what Shen Chongshan would say to himself next if he didn't interrupt the topic, "Take care of Xiaozhi", "You are a big brother, Let him', but he and Gu Zhi are already taking care of each other, so he doesn't want to listen to some things, he doesn't need others to tell him what to do.

So he cut off this possibility before Shen Chongshan said these words:

"Then when will you come back to help with the admission procedures?"

Going to school is a big event, and it has a great impact on Gu Zhi. Shen Nian thought that Shen Chongshan would come back immediately, but he was silent for a while when he heard this sentence. Shen Nian didn't urge him, but he seemed to know answer.

There are indeed many, many things that can be ranked in front of children.

"Dad can't go back now." After nearly half a minute of silence, Shen Chongshan finally said: "I'm in Guangzhou now, I need to pack a car and drive to the northwest, it may take a month or two, wait for me to go back."

Shen Nian didn't speak, and he didn't know what he should say, but he found a balance in Shen Chongshan's decision. He used to think that he was a child who was not liked, that Shen Chongshan liked Gu Zhi very much, otherwise Shen Chongshan wouldn't put I left at home alone for so long, and chose to stay because of my stubbornness.

But at this moment, Shen Nian found that Gu Zhi, like himself, could be ranked behind other choices by Shen Chongshan.

Shen Chongshan seemed to feel the emotion behind Shen Nian's silence, but he didn't make up for it, he just said:

"Is Xiaozhi by your side? I want to have a word with him."

It was only then that Shen Nian remembered that Gu Zhi hadn't come back. Hearing this, he glanced at the time, and it was already nine o'clock. He finally started to feel a little worried, but Shen Chongshan didn't let Shen Chongshan hear the clues again, and said directly:

"He doesn't want to talk to you."

Shen Chongshan paused for a moment and lost his voice, and Shen Nian didn't say anything else, just hung up the phone.

Shen Nian put down his phone and walked out of the house. In November, there were fewer people returning home late. The whole alley was pitch-black without any light, and there were no people. The only thing that was quiet was someone's dog barking occasionally.

Gu Zhi didn't come back, and there was no sign of him coming back.

Maybe he was on his way back, it was so late, even if Shen Nian wanted to look for it, he didn't know where to go, he could only go back to the room and wait while doing his homework. Lying there was a text message sent two hours ago, which was from Shen Chongshan.

After all, he said what Shen Nian wanted to stop him in the text message: [I will send you another sum of money to the card tomorrow. He has general knowledge. 】

Shen Nian stared at this message for a long time, and did not react until the screen of the phone automatically turned off, reopened and deleted this message.

Shen Nian didn't sleep well for almost the whole night. It was always a strange dream. When he woke up, he didn't have any memory of the dream. The only thing he remembered was that he and Gu Zhi were walking on a road without people. It was a gesture of holding hands and almost relying on each other, but later Gu Zhi disappeared, and when he looked back, his hands were already empty and there was nothing left.

He's been holding the air, he's been alone.

Shen Nian woke up and sat on the bed thinking about the dream just now. He didn't know why he had such a dream, and he couldn't figure out what the dream meant, but he didn't think about it, it was just a dream and it wasn't worth it. To waste time, he glanced at his phone, it was almost nine o'clock in the morning, and Shen Nian had never slept until this time.

Thinking of Gu Zhi who hadn't come back in the middle of the night yesterday, and the dream just now, Shen Nian couldn't stay any longer. He admitted his uneasiness and worry, worried that something happened to Gu Zhi, and worried that Gu Zhi would not come back anymore. Come back, and he didn't even have the option of having no other choice.

There was still no one in Gu Zhi's room, no one came back, and it was only now that Shen Nian realized that it was not just yesterday that Gu Zhi didn't come back, the thin layer of dust on the table told Shen Nian that it had been at least a few days.

Where did Gu Zhi go?

The only place Shen Nian could think of was the dangerous building he went to when he ran into Gu Zhi picking up waste. Did Gu Zhi go back after he moved to the school?It's not impossible, according to Gu Zhi's disgust and resistance to Shen Chongshan, he is not at home, and he is absolutely unwilling to live in Shen Chongshan's house alone.

Shen Nian ignored this point.

Shen Nian didn't know what he was in a hurry for. He clearly confirmed where Gu Zhi was, but he went out without even eating. By the time he got to the city by car and arrived at the dilapidated building, it was almost ten o'clock. Maybe it was because he was far away from the city. The center and the surrounding area of ​​the dangerous building are very quiet, and occasionally the sound of the horn of a car passing by can even scare people.

Shen Nian has never been to this kind of place, he only knows that Gu Zhi lived here before, but he doesn't know where he is in the dangerous building, but fortunately there is only one dangerous building, and you can always find traces when you look up each floor.

The dilapidated building is really dangerous, and it is also really old. It is similar to the design of a teaching building. There are about a dozen households on the first floor. Mottled walls, rusty railings, thick dust.

Most of the doors on each floor are open, and some even if the doors are locked, the windows are broken. There is nothing in the room, and everything that should be moved has already been moved, and those that cannot be moved have been destroyed for so many years .

Shen Nian searched from house to house, and finally found the small suitcase that Gu Zhi had taken with him when he left home in a room in the middle of the third floor.

This is probably the only house in this dilapidated building with doors and windows intact, but it is also visible to the naked eye. The broken glass is covered with plastic cloth, which has no major effect.

There is a lock on the door, Shen Nian can't get in, but since the suitcase is here and the door is locked, there is a high probability that it is here, it's just that the person went out and hasn't come back yet.

There was nothing wrong with going back, Shen Nian simply waited here, the wind was a bit strong today, standing in the three-storey corridor, Shen Nian was blown to the point of losing consciousness, just when he wanted to find a room for a while While avoiding the wind, footsteps came from the other side of the stairs, Shen Nian thought that there was no one else but Gu Zhi, but Shen Nian didn't recognize that person when he came out from the corner.

The person who came was a child about the same age as Gu Zhi, wearing thin and ill-fitting clothes, even wearing sandals on his feet, and carrying a yellow woven bag in his hand.

Perhaps because he didn't expect to see a stranger at his foothold, the child's whole body's defenses were revealed almost immediately, and the eyes that looked at him were also vigilant.

It was only at this time that Shen Nian realized that Gu Zhi might not be the only person living in this room, and his appearance might make the other party feel dangerous. Shen Nian had no intention of causing such trouble to others, so he greeted:

"I'm here to find Gu Zhi, is he here?"

Hearing Gu Zhi's name, the man was only a little more relaxed than before, and still didn't come over, looking at him from a long distance: "Who are you?"

who?Shen Nian couldn't tell who he was Gu Zhi's, the relationship between them was hard to sum up in one sentence, Shen Nian had no intention of telling others, and in the end he just said:

"People who live together temporarily."

It was an ambiguous sentence, but the child in front of him believed it, let go of his guard, and walked over, so Shen Nian also saw that his feet were red from the cold.

The child opened the door and let Shen Nian in, pointed to the room where Gu Xingli was placed and said to him: "He lives in that room."

After saying these words, the child went into another room, and Shen Nian walked into Gu Zhi's room without coming out again.

It is said to be a room, but it is just a foothold, without any furniture, only a layer of cardboard is spread on the ground in the corner, with a thin layer of mattress on it, and a quilt that is not too thick, which is similar to this The room was out of place as the bedding was clean, even in this setting.

After leaving home, does Gu Zhi live here?How can you bear it?Mosquitoes in summer, wind in autumn, cold in winter, how disappointed a child is that he would rather live in such an environment than go back to Shen's house.

Gu Zhi is really just like his name, stubborn and paranoid.

Shen Nian didn't know when Gu Zhi would come back, but since he came, he simply waited, Shen Nian didn't have the habit of sitting on someone else's bed, even if it was just a quilt, Shen Nian still didn't have it, he stood by the window and waited, The room was indeed as ventilated as he thought it would be. Standing in the room, it seemed that it was only a little better than the outside.

Still bone cold.

Seeing a figure walking this way with a woven bag in the distance, Shen Nian was sure that it was Gu Zhi, he didn't go out, but was still waiting here.

A few minutes later, the door was opened, and Gu Zhi went back to his room without saying hello to the children in the opposite room. Then he stood in a daze at the door, looking at Shen Nian in the room with a face full of surprise. But it was replaced by surprise in an instant:

"Niannian! Why are you here? Didn't you say you can only come back on Friday?"

When Shen Nian came here, he had a guess, guessing whether Gu Zhi did it on purpose, whether it was a trick or something else, to let himself be soft-hearted towards him, but until he saw the expression on Gu Zhi's face at this moment, Shen Nian couldn't help it. I think maybe I'm thinking too much, otherwise this kid's acting skills are too good.

"It's Saturday today."

"Huh?" Gu Zhi was full of disbelief: "I clearly counted that today is Friday, and I came back so early just to pick you up in the afternoon."

Gu Zhi walked towards Shen Nian, stood in front of him and stretched out his hand to him, Shen Nian looked down to see if he didn't understand this move, Gu Zhi explained with a smile: "Cell phone, let me see if it's real. It's Friday."

Shen Nian wanted to say that I don't need to lie to you about this matter, let alone skipping class just to come to find you, but he didn't say anything, took out the phone from his pocket, pressed the screen to let him see the As for the date, Gu Zhi stared at the words on it carefully, and then he confirmed that he seemed to have really remembered it wrong.

"I misremembered." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, a little apologetic: "I'm sorry for letting Nian Nian come over to find me."

Shen Nian wasn't angry, and didn't need his apology, but he had something to say about his going back to school in the future:

"Gu Zhi, if I'm not at home, are you going to stay here all the time?"

Gu Zhi looked up at Shen Nian, his eyes were pure calm, with a bit of curious curiosity: "Nian Nian should know that I don't want to go back, I don't want to live there, if you didn't say I want to stay, I would never go back in my life ,Right?"

"I know." Shen Nian said: "But it doesn't make any sense, I have already told Shen Chongshan that you are back, whether you go back or not, those in Shen Chongshan think you are already living in his house."

Gu Zhi was silent for a few seconds, then asked Shen Nian: "Do you want me to go back to live?"

"I won't force you."

"But I want to be obedient." Gu Zhi said, "I will obey you."

The way he looked at himself was indeed like a well-behaved child who is too sensible. If Shen Nian hadn't personally experienced Gu Zhi's paranoia, maybe he would be the same as Shen Chongshan back then, not believing that he had done such a thing.

"Go back." Shen Nian said.

"Okay." Gu Zhi nodded, went to the corner and took the suitcase, he didn't have anything to pack the bedding, he didn't seem to want it anymore, although Shen Nian also felt that taking them back was useless, but he still asked: "No more?"

"No more." Gu Zhi said, "Leave it to him."

Shen Nian remembered that child's clothes were thin, nodded without saying anything, and left the room with Gu Zhi, he originally thought that they could live in the same house together, the relationship should be considered good, and he should say hello when he left , but Shen Nian was surprised by Gu Zhi's gesture of walking towards the gate as soon as he left the house:

"Aren't you saying hello?"

Gu Zhi stopped at the door and looked back at Shen Nian: "We don't know each other very well."

They just happened to choose the same place, and they happened to have no home. As for the others, they didn’t have much communication, and their disguises were removed. They were not talkative children.

Shen Nian nodded his head to express his understanding, and in response, he was ready to leave with Gu Zhi, but Gu Zhi didn't know what he thought of, smiled at Shen Nian, turned around, walked to the door of the child's room, and said to the inside sentence:

"Forgive me, I'm leaving."

The children in the room seemed to answer, but Shen Nian didn't hear clearly, and after seeing Gu Zhi came back, he didn't say anything else, and left with him.

When going downstairs, the sky seemed to be getting colder. Shen Nian thought of the pair of sandals on the child's feet for no reason. Shen Nian thought about tidying up the small old clothes and shoes and sending them to the child.

It was all he could do.

Gu Zhi walked beside Shen Nian, as if he knew what he was thinking, he took his cool hand:

"Don't worry, you and I have someone to accompany you, and he will meet you too."

Shen Nian didn't speak, but looked up at the sky, it was gloomy.

It's the end of November and it's time for snow.