paranoid dependence

Chapter 16 Secret

Returning home this time after two months, Shen Nian originally planned to wait until the New Year's Day holiday was over before going back to school, but the unhappiness of this day made him feel difficult to breathe at home, so he didn't wait any longer and went back to school directly. He left in such a hurry that he didn't even search for a coat again. By the time he realized something was wrong with his body, he had already developed a high fever.

But he felt that he asked for it himself, and he couldn't blame others.

During the holiday, everyone in the dormitory went home, only Shen Nian was the only one. He was afraid that he would become more and more serious, and no one would know if he was unconscious in the dormitory, so he went to the pharmacy in front of the school to buy medicine, and fell asleep after taking it. He woke up in a daze, but quickly fell asleep again. He didn't even know the time several times. When he really woke up, it was Monday afternoon, and all the people returning to school had returned.

The roommate was used to Shen Nian not going home during the holidays, but it was rare to see him lying on the bed at this time, so he asked if he was uncomfortable, and Shen Nian waved his hand weakly:

"No, just sleepy."

"Then you sleep, let's keep our voices quiet."

The roommates were easy to get along with, but Shen Nian was embarrassed to let everyone make do with him because he was alone, he would feel guilty, so even though his whole body was still sore and limp, he still managed to get up, and he lay on the bed for a day and a night At this time, he was hungry and tired, and when he got out of bed, he almost fell off the ladder. Fortunately, it was not very high, so he didn't bump it.

Shen Nian went to the bathroom, and when she came out, she accidentally saw Liang Qiu who shouldn't have appeared at this time: "Why are you here? Is there something wrong?"

Liang Qiu was already worried about what would happen to Shen Nian after returning home this time. He was afraid that Shen Chongshan's summation was just a whim, and Shen Nian would still be wronged. He couldn't wait until tomorrow, so he thought about today Let's take a look, but the question has not yet been uttered, and Shen Nian's expression is different from usual:

"what happened to you?"

Shen Nian wanted to say it's okay, but Liang Qiu had already walked up to him, and raised his hand to touch his forehead: "Do you know that you have a fever? It's so hot that you can fry eggs."

Shen Nian was amused by his statement: "How can it be so serious?"

No matter whether it is really possible to fry eggs, Liang Qiu can't condone him to continue like this, went to his bed to get clothes for him to put on, took him away, and greeted his roommate by the way:

"Shen Nian won't be coming back tonight, the housekeeper is here, please help me out."

Liang Qiu took Shen Nian to the hospital, and his body temperature was measured at 39 degrees 2. Liang Qiu didn't bother to say anything. When the doctor said that he needed an IV, Liang Qiu even gritted his teeth and said:

"tie."

The doctor couldn't help but look sideways at that tone of voice, and asked, "Do you have a grudge against him?"

Shen Nian smiled and said nothing, Liang Qiu responded politely:

"Well, we can't live together."

The words were harsh, but when Shen Nian really got the needle, Liang Qiu still ran to the convenience bag downstairs and bought a hot water bottle, went to pick up the hot water, took it back and put the infusion tube on the hot water bag, so that it would be infused into the body The liquid in it will not be too cold, and Shen Nian will not feel cold.

People with a fever are very lazy and have no energy, so is Shen Nian, lazily leaning on the back of the chair and watching Liang Qiu's movements. When Liang Qiu looked up, he met his gaze:

"Look at what?"

Shen Nian smiled faintly: "Thank you."

Liang Qiu snorted and ignored him.

Liang Qiu didn't know that Shen Nian had slept for a long time, and wanted him to sleep for a while, so that the time would pass faster, but Shen Nian had slept for too long, even though he was still groggy with fever, he still didn't feel sleepy, on the contrary Yes, still hungry.

He has not eaten for a day.

But even in the face of Liang Qiu, Shen Nian couldn't tell him to help him buy food, so he endured it all the time, and even wanted to increase the flow rate, Liang Qiu patted his hand:

"What's the trouble? I'm not in a hurry."

Shen Nian didn't move anymore, if his stomach didn't let out a sudden growl at this time, the surrounding would be considered quiet.

Liang Qiu also heard this voice, looked at Shen Nian: "Hungry?"

"It's okay." As soon as Shen Nian finished speaking, his stomach groaned again, and Liang Qiu sighed helplessly: "Shen Xiaonian, if I didn't ask, would you never ask me to help you? buy food?"

Shen Nian has always been like this, probably because she has been used to being alone since she was a child, so even when there are people around to rely on, she still subconsciously doesn't want to be troublesome, and doesn't want to be a burden to anyone.

Shen Nian smiled and said nothing, but Liang Qiu didn't bother to say any more, got up and left.

After buying a bowl of fried noodles, Shen Nian was very hungry and didn't know whether he was too hungry or because he had a fever and lost his appetite. After eating half a bowl, he couldn't eat anymore. Liang Qiu didn't force him, and took the lunch box into his hands Start gobbling:

"Okay, I'll call my dad and ask him to cook you something delicious and eat it when you get home. This stuff is really bad."

Liang Qiu never asked why Shen Nian got sick and when did he come back.

Some things don't need to be asked, since Liang Qiu went to fetch clothes for Shen Nian today and couldn't see the down jacket, he almost guessed something unpleasant, and he was so sick, Liang Qiu didn't want to ask Make him unhappy.

You have to get well first.

But Liang Qiu didn't ask, Shen Nian took the initiative to mention something, saying:

"I won't go back years ago."

Liang Qiu still didn't ask why, but just looked at him with dissatisfaction: "I don't want you to go back this time. It's because you are disobedient. A little kindness will make you unable to find Bei. Now you know it hurts?"

Shen Nian didn't speak for a few seconds, turned his head to look at Liang Qiu, Liang Qiu didn't feel that what he said was serious, some things need to be painful enough to remember, Shen Nian shouldn't have cared about someone who hasn't cared about him for 14 years man is fantasizing.

"Why are you so smart?" Shen Nian asked him.

Liang Qiu hooked the corners of his lips: "You are too soft-hearted, how can you be fooled so easily?"

"I really want to be cared about and loved." Shen Nian smiled and looked at a place in front of her, her tone was very light: "So I don't want to resist even a little bit of warmth."

"My house isn't warm enough for you?" Liang Qiu couldn't understand: "Don't go back during the Chinese New Year, go to my house and let you experience the all-round warmth without dead ends."

Shen Nian smiled and said nothing, she seemed to be tired and closed her eyes.Liang Qiu didn't bother anymore, took out his mobile phone and started playing Tetris.

After finishing the drip, Liang Qiu brought Shen Nian back home. He probably notified Su Xiaoxiao in advance that even after the time for dinner, there was still a lot of food prepared on the table. Shen Nian was not actually hungry, but Not wanting to disappoint Su Xiaoxiao's good intentions, she still walked over, Liang Qiu pushed him away behind her, and whispered:

"Don't worry, my mother didn't do it."

The voice was very low, but Su Xiaoxiao heard: "Your father made Xiaonian's portion, but I made yours, so I must finish eating today."

Liang Qiu looked at Su Xiaoxiao: "Mom, if you want to have another child, you can have it directly, there's no need to poison me to death, I'm not jealous, and I don't object to your having a second child. "

Su Xiaoxiao scolded that the little bastard was about to come and beat Liang Qiu. Liang Qiu couldn't have waited for her to beat him, so he ran away. Shen Nian watched the mother and son playing around, and suddenly felt that he was healed. With such a happy Liang Qiu, maybe he doesn't believe that there is still sugar in this world.

And this candy is by my side, as long as I feel that life is hard, I can still feel strong after licking it.

The meal was delicious, and even Shen Nian, who had no appetite, ate a bowl of rice. After the meal, he subconsciously went to wash the dishes, but was stopped by Su Xiaoxiao:

"This child... Aunt Su doesn't listen to what she says, does she? My house is just like your own. Don't keep thinking about working. If you're not feeling well, go and have a rest."

When Su Xiaoxiao got tough, anyone would bow down, so Shen Nian stopped insisting, thanked her and went back to the room. Liang Qiu was enslaved by Su Xiaoxiao to clean up the dishes in the kitchen and didn't follow, so Shen Nian was entering the room. When I was in the room, I heard Su Xiaoxiao's helpless sigh:

"Why doesn't such a sensible child hurt the old Shen's family? Is Shen Chongshan blind?"

"Yeah." Liang Qiu echoed lightly: "Mom, it's rare that you and I have the same point of view on one matter."

Shen Nian gently closed the door.

-

It was getting late, but Shen Nian couldn't fall asleep.

I don't know if it's because of sleeping for a day and a night in a row. He was obviously very tired, but he didn't feel sleepy at all, but Shen Nian didn't make a sound and didn't get up. He just quietly looked at the undrawn curtains, and there was a light Mischievously sneaking in through the gap, Shen Nian watched for a long time.

Liang Qiu was probably afraid that he would fall asleep, and when he got up he was very careful, Shen Nian felt sorry for him, so he said:

"You move yours."

The sudden voice startled Liang Qiu, cursed secretly, turned on the bedside lamp, and looked at Shen Nian's sleepy face: "Aren't you asleep?"

"En." Shen Nian replied, "I slept too much during the day, and now I can't sleep."

Liang Qiu didn't say anything, went to the bathroom, and when he came back, Shen Nian had already sat up, his eyes were still fixed on the curtains, Liang Qiu followed his gaze and didn't think there was anything interesting.

Shen Nian didn't sleep, Liang Qiu couldn't sleep, otherwise he was afraid that something would happen to Shen Nian, even though he returned to the bed, he didn't lie down, he just looked at the back of Shen Nian's head and asked:

"If you can't sleep, would you like to tell me what happened? I can't sleep with you even if I'm so angry."

what happened?In fact, it's just a trivial matter, a dropped cannon, a down jacket, a request for his understanding, it's not a big deal, Shen Nian can't even remember where it started, there is nothing to say.

But Liang Qiu's posture of not sleeping made Shen Nian feel that not saying something seemed unreasonable, so he had some other ideas to say, wanting to express the secrets that had been buried in his heart for many years.

He may not know that he is a little irrational, but it's okay to be impulsive once in a while, so he couldn't bear the urge to move in his heart, so he said it anyway.

"Let me tell you a secret." Shen Nian looked back at Liang Qiu.

Liang Qiu's face was not happy because he was about to know a secret of Shen Nian, on the contrary, he frowned: "Shen Xiaonian, you actually have a secret from me?"

Shen Nian laughed: "It seems quite unfair, after all I know when you are constipated."

Liang Qiu glared at him: "Whether I want to be angry because you have something to hide from me depends entirely on how big your secret is. Tell me whether it is worth my forgiveness."

"Then I don't think you should blame me."

"Tell me quickly." Liang Qiu said, "The judging criteria are in my hands."

Shen Nian didn't speak immediately, it seemed difficult to speak, so he turned his head to look at the light again, and opened his mouth after a few seconds, saying:

"My dad and I... have no blood relationship."

When Liang Qiu heard this sentence, he turned around and went to get the phone on the bedside table to check what time it was, but this sentence shocked Liang Qiu so much that his hands trembled and he didn't pick up the phone , fell to the ground.

Not caring about picking it up, he looked at Shen Nian reflexively, and after a few seconds he found his voice, but he was still shocked when he spoke:

"What did you say?"

Shen Nian turned around and looked at Liang Qiu:

"He is not my biological father. I knew it when I was ten years old."

Liang Qiu was speechless and unable to react, his head seemed to have lost the ability to think, and it took him a while to resume work. Some questions that he had never understood seemed to have answers at this moment:

"So, Uncle Shen treats you badly and doesn't care enough because you are not his son? But, if not, why did he agree to raise you when he divorced your mother? It doesn't make sense. Raise someone else What is your son planning?"

"I can't figure it out either." Shen Nian smiled: "But I'm very grateful that he can still support me after divorcing my mother, otherwise I'm afraid I won't know where to wander now."

vagabond?In fact, what he said was not serious at all, after all Shen Nian didn't believe in You Xiaoyue, he didn't believe that if Shen Chongshan didn't keep him back then, she would take him away.

Maybe she won't embarrass Shen Chongshan, but she will definitely lose herself on the way.

After all, it's not like You Xiaoyue hasn't done this before.

She lost herself once, when Shen Nian was 7 years old, that was the only time You Xiaoyue accompanied Shen Chongshan to the sports car, bringing Shen Nian with her.

Maybe it's because the memory is too vivid, Shen Nian still remembers his excitement at that time, even though You Xiaoyue was still lukewarm to him on the road, Shen Nian is still very happy, thinking that it will be all right, after all, parents are willing to take care of him We went out to play together.

Shen Chongshan took care of him more on the way, You Xiaoyue was the same as when he was at home, she almost treated him as a transparent person, but Shen Nian didn't care, the scenery on the road was enough to attract him when he went out for the first time.

When the goods arrived at the destination, it took half a day to unload the goods, You Xiaoyue said that she would take Shen Nian out for a walk, there was a market nearby, Shen Chongshan didn't stop her, and let her go when she said it was about time to return.

That was the first time You Xiaoyue bought him delicious food, a bunch of candied haws, and then took him to a remote alley and told him:

"You wait for me here, I'll go shopping and come back to you."

Shen Nian was only 7 years old. Although she felt uneasy, she never thought that You Xiaoyue would lie to herself. Holding the bunch of candied haws in her hand, she nodded, "Okay."

You Xiaoyue left without looking back, Shen Nian was standing in that alley, waiting from morning to afternoon, and then from afternoon to evening, he gradually seemed to understand what was going on, but he still didn't dare to leave, so he Then I stood where I was, not even daring to cry out.

He was afraid that bad people would find him and take him away.

Later, he didn't know how long he waited, he only remembered that the moon was very bright in the sky, he fell asleep sitting on the base of the wall, and in a daze, someone called his name, it was Shen Chongshan, he looked anxious like a savior, Shen Nian threw himself down In his arms, hugged him tightly.

It was only later that Shen Nian realized that Shen Chongshan only noticed something was wrong after driving the car on the high speed. The Shen Nian who You Xiaoyue said was sleeping in the back seat hadn't made a sound for several hours. After he questioned You Xiaoyue a few times, You Xiaoyue didn't respond , he parked the car in the emergency lane, and then learned that You Xiaoyue threw himself, and then hurriedly returned from the next exit.

Shen Nian didn't even dare to think about it afterwards, what would have happened if he hadn't waited at the spot but had walked out of the alley to find You Xiaoyue.

So Shen Nian is very grateful to Shen Chongshan, no matter what, he also gave himself a home, he will be disappointed because he sees Shen Chongshan as a real father, but if it is just an uncle who helps him, what Shen Chongshan is doing now There is nothing wrong with that.

Between himself and Gu Zhi, he just felt that Gu Zhi was more important.

Shen Nian has no right to ask Shen Chongshan to treat him like Liang Qiu's father treated Liang Qiu.

Liang Qiu came to this world in anticipation, with high hopes placed by his parents, but Shen Nian was the complete opposite.It was Shen Chongshan who gave him the ability to live in peace and stability until now.

Shen Chongshan was right, it was Shen Nian who had expectations that he shouldn't have.

Liang Qiu thought that what Shen Nian said was wrong, but he didn't know how to refute it, and from what angle to refute it. At first, he felt that he didn't understand Gu Zhi, but now he found that he couldn't understand Shen Chongshan either, but he knew that Shen Nian How difficult.

"You..." Liang Qiu said cautiously, "Do you know who your biological father is?"

Shen Nian shook his head: "I don't know, and I don't want to know."

After so many years of not showing up, even if we meet, he is just a stranger to him.

Nor could he have had unrealistic fantasies about a stranger.

"Then what are you going to do in the future?" Liang Qiu asked.

"Live as you want." Shen Nian looked at Liang Qiu, smiled, and said, "Just learn not to have any expectations anymore."