nothing else

Chapter 39 The ending before the ending

one year later

The doctor in front of me is surnamed Liu, and he is a man I have known for a long time.

"Song Yizhou...you are so sick." He adjusted his glasses and pondered for a while.

"I suggest you go to Japan for treatment, and the sooner the better, your illness can't be delayed."

I looked at the back of my thin, veined hands, and finally nodded.

There are too many preparations to go to Japan. Cui Dinglin gave me everything in his life, family love, money, but I still look poor.

The first time I went to a strange country alone, I hesitated again and again.

I was the only one left at home, eating alone, watching TV alone, watering the flowers alone, and falling asleep alone.

Sometimes I can't speak a word for several days in a row, and I am almost aphasic when I go out to buy food.

The sky was sinking again, I cooked a pot of porridge for myself, lazily curled up on the bed and waited for the porridge to be cooked.

This is often the case in the room, so quiet that I don't know what to do.Maybe hell will be more lively than here.

The cell phone, which hadn't rang for a long time, rang at this moment. I wondered if it was a show.Disturbing phone calls.

"Hello?" I opened my mouth and tried several times before I could make a sound.

"Song Yizhou." The female voice on the other end of the phone was low and deep, but I knew who it was as soon as I heard it.

"What... what's wrong?" I was a little guilty.

Jin Jin said, "I'm going to die soon."

"What?" I was puzzled.

"I have postpartum depression, and it's hard." Jin Jin choked up.

"Don't cry..." I don't know how to express the apology in my heart.

"You take the child away tomorrow...I..." Jin Jin lost control of his emotions.

My eyes were red too, Song Yizhou, what do you think you have done? !

The next morning, the light rain just stopped outside the house, and the wind picked up, so I hurried out to take a taxi.

As soon as you get out of the car, the chill hits your bones.I pursed my lips and endured, wrapping myself tightly in my coat.

I entered Jin Jin's ward, the light was dim, Jin Jin was sitting on the bed playing with toys, and the baby was sleeping peacefully in the crib. .

"You came……"

I nodded and picked up the baby.

"You really think about it?"

"You know I don't have long to live."

"This is the first and last time I will help you, it's for Cui Ancheng."

I am still running away.

"I can't help it. The doctor told me to give the child to someone else first." Jin Jin sobbed, "Please follow the address to find a person named Liang Xi."

I looked at the baby in my arms, that Liangxi... Maybe I already have the answer in my mind.

I found that the address in the note was somewhat familiar, and the answer in my heart became clearer.

I tried not to look at Jin Jin's pale and downcast face, turned around resolutely and left, the baby in my arms buried her head restlessly.

The moment I walked out of the hospital, Jin Jin committed suicide by falling from the building.

I was holding the baby in shock, my body was stiff and unable to move for a long time.

The baby in my arms began to cry non-stop. I came back to my senses, coaxed the baby, and kissed the tip of her nose lightly.

"sorry Sorry……"

Sorry to all of you.

During the journey to find the man named Liang Xi, the baby was still crying, and the little face was flushed, which made my heart ache.

I kissed her over and over and apologized deeply over and over again.

But, it was too late...

When I arrived at the destination, I didn't stop at all, and sent the baby out late at night.

I said to the baby: "You go to see your real father, I'm going far away to live as long as I can, and wait until you slowly hate me."

Because of shame, I dare not meet Liang Xi.No, I've seen it before, once is enough.

Hiding in the dark, I saw the baby being taken into the house by a man and the door being slammed shut.

I continued to wait for a while and breathed a sigh of relief.

I walked dully in the dark, and I felt as if my 20 years had gone through the life of an ordinary person.

Laughed, loved, hated, hurt, regretted...everything in the world has been tasted.

I looked at my long shadow projected by the street lamps. After many years of wandering, I was still alone. I brushed the shadow with my hand and murmured:

"I'm really lonely."

This is my story, without too many ups and downs, those surging emotions have been taken into my heart.

After reminiscing about these feelings over and over again, I chewed them dry.

After some years, I am still lonely.

If I meet another person, I will hold him and say, "Please don't leave me."

If he nods, I'll catch him.

If he shakes his head, he really let go.

It will be very calm, very calm.