no postage

Chapter 23 23

"Can you tell me something?" Tan Xiao said.

Fang Yu was surprised, looked at him and said, "I thought you wouldn't know how to ask."

"If you don't want to tell me, I won't ask." Tan Xiao smiled.

"No." Fang Yu hesitated, "It's just a family matter, I'm afraid you will be annoyed."

Tan Xiao didn't say whether he was annoying or not, but just rubbed the boy's hair twice.

Fang Yu suddenly felt relieved, thinking that maybe he could tell Tan Xiao something.

Fang Yu sat up from the bed, pretending to have a long talk.Tan Xiao lifted the quilt up and it just covered Fang Yu's shoulders.

"I have an older brother." Fang Yu didn't know where to start, so he started everything from the beginning and said, "But he had an accident when he was 14 years old."

Tan Xiao also sat on the bed, sitting side by side with Fang Yu, and reached out to grab Fang Yu's hand.

"My brother is ten years older than me. I was only three years old when he passed away. I don't remember many things." Fang Yu said softly, slowly recalling the few memories, "I heard that my brother was very special to me. Well, because my parents are rarely at home because of their work, my brother is basically taking care of me."

"My brother, what should I say?" Fang Yu frowned slightly, "I was the kind of kid from someone else's family since I was a child, good-looking, good at studying and obedient. When I was young, I heard that he was that kind of dead kid like a wild monkey. My mother was always partial to my brother."

"Then one day, my parents both went to work and asked my brother to watch me at home. Then I seemed a little uncomfortable that day, so my brother took me to the hospital where my mother worked."

When Fang Yu talked about this memory, he paused.

Tan Xiao stretched his arm behind his back and pinched the back of his neck.

Fang Yu cleared his throat and continued, "It's been too long, and I can't remember many things clearly. It seems that my mother was in the operating room that day, and my brother took me to sit in her office to play for a while. There was a commotion outside."

"My brother stopped me." Fang Yu's voice began to tremble. He leaned back and pressed Tan Xiao's hand with his back, before continuing, "He stopped me! But, I didn't listen, I Why didn't you listen?"

Fang Yu looked up at Tan Xiao helplessly, "Tan Xiao, why didn't I listen to my brother?"

Tan Xiao was slightly curled up by Fang Yu's fingers on his back, and leaned over to kiss his forehead lightly.

Fang Yu closed his eyes, breathing quickly, and leaned against Tan Xiao's arms to take a few breaths, his mood gradually stabilized.

"It's chaotic outside. I don't know what happened. I just remember a crazy man with red eyes ran rampant in the hospital with a knife, cutting anyone he saw. His body was already stained bright red with blood. I I was so frightened that I just stood there in a daze in the corridor of the hospital and didn't know how to hide."

When Fang Yu said this, his heart was still filled with fear, and a tear unconsciously flowed from the corner of his eye. He wiped it blankly, "Why are you crying?"

Tan Xiao couldn't bear to let him recall that terrible past, hugged him tightly in his arms, and said hoarsely, "Stop talking, enough, enough!"

Fang Yu shook his head, broke free from his embrace, and forced out an ugly smile, "I want to say, this matter has been on my mind for too long, and I'm about to be driven crazy!"

"Listen to me... okay?"

Tan Xiao felt like his heart was about to break. Fang Yu's humble begging tone was like a knife cutting bluntly through his heart, and the pain lingered for a long time.

"That lunatic saw me and rushed towards me, yelling and cursing loudly. I was so frightened that I didn't dare to move. When he rushed in front of me, it was... my brother rushed over and hugged me...but he ,...rescue is ineffective..."

Fang Yu's voice was choked up, and the rest of the words were intermittent, but it was enough for Tan Xiao to hear clearly.

Fang's mother couldn't bear such a result. She preferred her elder son even more, but in the end the elder son died in order to protect Fang Yu. With a face full of madness, he asked, "Why didn't you die!"

It is conceivable that this incident and these words were a fatal blow to Fang Yu who was still young at the time.

So much so that after more than ten years of this incident, although he and his mother seem to have reconciled and can pretend to be together as if nothing had happened, there is still a wound that cannot heal on his heart, and the wound cannot heal, because as he grows older , his face became more and more similar to that of his elder brother who died young. His mother would often stare at his face in a daze, sometimes showing a loving and nostalgic expression. Fang Yu knew that it was not looking at him; The expression of resentment, wishing to tear the person in front of him apart, Fang Yu also knew that this was not looking at him now.

So the wound could only be there dripping with blood, reminding him all the time that he owed his brother and mother his life.

Tan Xiao didn't know how to comfort him, so he could only slide his hands down his back over and over again, comforting him silently.

What can he say, a child who is young and does not know the world, a boy who loves his younger brother so much that he is even willing to sacrifice his own life in exchange for his younger brother's life, a child who has lost his parents and vented all his resentment to the other child who caused all this, Even if this child is still ignorant and indifferent.

But the resentment in my heart must have an object to vent, right?

If the youngest son was not feeling sick, the eldest son would not take him to the hospital; if the youngest son said he was bored and insisted on going out to play, the eldest son would not accompany him out of the office; if the youngest son was not scared out of his wits by the crazy man, The eldest son will not...

Isn't all of this the youngest son's fault?Isn't it natural to resent him?

Fang Yu's mother and Fang Yu probably think so!

Until now when Fang Yu talked about this matter, he still blamed himself. For more than ten years, he has been living in a debt to his brother and mother.

The occurrence of that accident, in fact, cannot put all the responsibility on that naive child who is not familiar with the world. It is a child's nature to be playful. It is human nature to be bored in the office and want to go out for a walk. It cannot be said to be Fang It's Yu's fault, it's not his fault that he was stunned by the crazy man with red eyes, how can you expect a child of that age to react in that situation?

It's just that it can't be said that Fang Yu is not responsible for this matter, but in fact, Fang's mother's resentment is completely unreasonable.

If you had to find someone to vent your resentment on, it could only be the grim-faced man who stabbed the knife into the boy's body.

However, from Fang Yu's intermittent words, Tan Xiao learned that the man had already been sentenced to death, ten years ago.

With no object of resentment, Fang's mother had no choice but to pour all her anger on that young and not completely innocent son.

Fang Yu has received such a message since he was a child: Your brother died because of you!

This sentence is right but not right. Fang Yu's brother died to save Fang Yu, but to put it bluntly, he did it willingly. He loved this young brother enough to be willing to put his life at risk. Always stand up and be a hero to protect your younger brother.

He died for Fang Yu's sake, but he would never want to see the result of what he did in the end was to make two people who were closest to each other turn against each other.

What he hopes to see must be that his beloved family members, especially the younger brother he bought with his life, can spend this life safely and happily.With his beautiful expectations for life, his love for the world, and his happiness, he lives bravely and optimistically.

He would not want to see the people he loved the most during his lifetime torture each other like this, and spend his life with guilt.

Maybe, give Fang Yu some time, and he can figure it out by himself.

But time did not treat this young man leniently. When he gradually grew up and began to shape his outlook on life and values, his family conveyed a wrong concept to him all the time. I should get along with the closest people.

Tan Xiao couldn't bear to ask any more questions. As for how his boy was kicked out of the house, he didn't care much at first, and now he doesn't want to know at all.

His youth, it's too late for him to feel distressed, he just wants to hold him in his arms and tell him the most beautiful words in the world, how can he be willing to expose his scars again?

But Tan Xiao didn't expect that since Fang Yu was willing to expose the old wounds in his heart to Tan Xiao, then he would have nothing to say to Tan Xiao.

Fang Yu was sobbing, and it took him a long time to stop his sobs, "The last time I went home, I told my mother about my homosexuality. My mother was stimulated, so I came out to calm down first."

Tan Xiao was taken aback, "Did you tell her?"

Fang Yu nodded, sniffed, his voice was still a little hoarse, "She can't accept it... She already has a lot of resentment towards me, and now she tells her that I'm gay."

"Actually, when my brother was still there, our family was neighbors with Bai Fei's family at that time. One year during the summer vacation, a cousin of his lived in his house, and she kept clamoring all day long that she would marry me when she grew up. My parents He often teased me about it, but my brother disagreed." Fang Yu said.

"My mother asked him why he didn't agree, and he said that the little girl is not as good-looking as me." Fang Yu couldn't help smiling, "My brother said that in the future, when looking for a wife, you must find a good-looking one. I'm pretty as well."

After saying the last sentence, Fang Yu felt a little embarrassed, his face flushed slightly, and he stretched out his hand to scratch the tip of his nose uncomfortably.

Tan Xiao listened quietly without interjecting, probably knowing why his mother was so repulsive about him liking men.

Fang Yu raised his eyes to look at Tan Xiao's face quietly, then lowered his eyelids slightly, unconsciously rubbed the hem of Tan Xiao's clothes with his fingers, and pretended to be calm and said, "I think you will definitely be drawn by my brother to look good. kind."

Tan Xiao froze for a moment, then smiled, flicked Fang Yu's forehead with his fingers, hugged Fang Yu tightly, then kissed the place where he just flicked, slowly put him down, stuffed him into the bed, and said softly Coax him: "Sleep, I'm here with you."

Fang Yu reached out and grabbed Tan Xiao's sleepy neckline, buried his face in his chest, and said in a low voice, "Just now my dad called me and said that my mom is not emotionally stable recently, so I will stay at school for a while next semester. Time, don't go home for now."

Tan Xiao frowned fiercely, as if holding each other together in distress, he hugged the boy in his arms even tighter.

Fang Yu sniffed and stopped talking.

Tan Xiao hugged the boy, and the bedroom was silent, but Fang Yu felt extremely at ease at this moment. The grievance in his heart gradually dissipated in Tan Xiao's arms. After hugging him quietly for a while, Fang Yu just held onto Tan Xiao like this. clothes fell asleep.

After Fang Yu fell asleep, Tan Xiao lightly moved Fang Yu's arm away from him, half sat up and saw that Fang Yu didn't wake up, so he lifted a corner of the quilt and got out of bed quietly.

Putting on a coat, he walked to the balcony and opened the window a crack, took out a cigarette case from his pocket and shook out a cigarette, and took two deep puffs of the cigarette in the cold night wind.

Tan Xiao raised his head, the night sky in City A was always gray and no stars could be seen, it was really nothing to see, Tan Xiao only took a look and then looked away, threw the cigarette from his fingertips on the ground and wiped it out with his feet.

When the palm touched the doorknob, Tan Xiao's fingers unconsciously shrank a little, stimulated by the cold metal texture, and suddenly remembered that he had smoked and hadn't rinsed his mouth yet, so he went to the bathroom to wash off the smell of smoke from his fingers and then brushed his teeth before taking it with him. A hazy mist entered the room.

Fang Yu was still in a deep sleep, Tan Xiao's series of movements didn't wake him up, but after Tan Xiao went to bed, he seemed to notice something, turned over in a daze and hugged Tan Xiao with both hands, smash it, smash it Mouth.

The factory started working just after the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, and Tan Xiao got up at 04:30 in the morning.

Fang Yu slept for a while during the day the day before, and stopped snoozing at night. He woke up as soon as Tan Xiao woke up.

Rubbing his eyes, Fang Yu sat up and watched Tan Xiao get dressed, and yawned, "Why do you wake up so early?"

Tan Xiao paused, then turned around, said while putting on his clothes, "Work will start today."

"Oh." Fang Yu rubbed his eyes again, frowned and said in doubt, "Help me see, why do I always feel that my eyes can't be opened, as if they are stuck by something?"

Tan Xiao hung his coat on his arm, looked at his eyelids, and said nonchalantly, "I guess he didn't wake up, you can sleep again."

"No!" Fang Yu tried to open his eyes wide, but it didn't help, "I'm not sleepy, I slept a lot yesterday."

"If you're not sleepy, take a nap for a while. I'll bring you lunch. It will be messy after work starts today. Don't go down." Tan Xiao said.

"..." Fang Yu looked at him suspiciously, then reached for his phone to turn on the front camera.

"I..." Fang Yu looked at Tan Xiao in horror, and pointed at his phone in disbelief.

Tan Xiao couldn't help laughing, and rubbed his sleepy hair, "It's okay, I'll get you two ice cubes later."

Fang Yu was still panicked, he grabbed Tan Xiao's arm and raised his head and asked, "Can I still go out to meet people today!"

"I don't know either," Tan Xiao spread his hands, "It's also the first time I've seen someone whose eyes are so swollen from crying."

Fang Yu let go of Tan Xiao, slumped on the bed, covered his face and complained in a muffled voice, "I don't have the face to see anyone now!"

Tan Xiao looked at the time, it was almost five o'clock, he hurriedly told Fang Yu, "If you are still sleepy, go to sleep for a while, if you are not sleepy, get up, watch TV and do your homework, I will bring you lunch. "

Fang Yu nodded weakly, and his voice leaked out from between his fingers, "Mmm".

When Tan Xiao walked to the door, he looked back, coughed softly, and said uncomfortably, "Don't worry, even if your eyes are swollen, you're still a handsome guy."

Fang Yu was taken aback for a moment, and stopped pretending to be a quail. He looked up at the door with golden eyes. However, it seemed that this was the first time Tan Xiao said such a thing. After he finished speaking, he hurried away without waiting for a second. Some of the meaning of fleeing.

Fang Yu secretly smacked for a long time before he laughed a few beats later.