Mauritius

Chapter 38

Since the hypnosis, his mind has been extraordinarily sharp in fits and starts.Mister Borenius, however, is impeccable.He said kindly: "An unbeliever will always have a very clear conception of what religion should be, and I wish I had half his faith." Then he got up to take his leave, and Maurice walked him through the vegetable garden, Take a shortcut.The object of their discussion was standing against the wall, no doubt waiting for one of the maids.This evening, the two of them seem to meet each other frequently.It was so dark now that Maurice would see nothing.Mr. Borenius, on the other hand, said in a low voice, "Good night, sir," and the same words came out of the other party's mouth.There is a refreshing fruity aroma in the air.It can be inferred that the young man probably ate an apricot.Despite the cold, the night was filled with aromas.Maurice turned back through the bushes to inhale deeply the fragrance of evening primrose.

Again he heard the cautious voice: "Good night, sir." With a friendly feeling for the outcast, he replied, "Good night, Scudder, they tell me you will emigrate."

"I have this idea, sir." Came such a voice.

"Hey, I wish you success."

"Thank you, sir, I feel strange."

"Canada or Australia, I suppose?"

"No, sir, it's Argentina."

"Ah, ah, it's a good country."

"Have you been there, sir?"

"I'd rather not go, I still like England," said Maurice, walking on, bumping into the man in the corduroys again.The tedious conversation, the insignificant encounter, all harmonized with the darkness and silence of the evening, which pleased him.As he walked away from Scudder he felt a sense of health and well-being which lasted until he reached the house.Through the window he saw Mrs Durham, very at ease, loose and ugly.Her face tensed as soon as he entered, as did his.They exchanged a few social words about his trip to London that day before returning to their respective bedrooms.

For a year he suffered from insomnia.As soon as he lay down he knew he would be doing physical labor through the night.The events of these twelve hours excited him and clashed in his mind.For a while, I set off early in the morning, and for a while, I traveled with London to receive medical treatment.Then there is the journey home.Behind all this lurks a kind of fear: when receiving diagnosis and treatment.Is there anything to say that he didn't say?Did he miss any important issues in the written materials he wrote to the doctor?But what is that?He wrote the material in this room yesterday, and he was satisfied at the time.He began to worry--and Mr. Lasker Jones forbade him to trouble himself.Because excessive introspection of thoughts and feelings is even more difficult to cure.Ordinarily, he should let his mind become blank, accept the suggestion therapy during hypnosis, and never wonder whether the sown seeds will germinate.Yet he couldn't help worrying.Far from desensitizing him, Peng Jie seemed to stimulate his nerves more than anywhere else.Although the impression Peng Jie gave him was complicated, it was so vivid.How wildly flowers and fruits clung to his mind!Things he had never seen before, such as scooping out rainwater from a small boat, he could see tonight, although the curtains were tightly drawn.Ah, to go out, to be among them!Ah, to the darkness--not the darkness of the house where man is confined between the furniture, but the darkness in which he can be free!False wish!He paid a doctor two guineas to draw the curtains closer, and soon in the brown cube of such a room the imprisoned Miss Tonks would lie beside him.The hypnotic yeast continued to ferment, and Maurice's visions of shifting portraits appeared, now fulfilling his wishes, now against his will, changing from male to female, bouncing down the football field where he was bathing. ...he groaned half asleep.It is said that Rusheng has something better than this nonsense, if only he can get it--love--the sublime--the vast space, where passion embraces peace tightly.No science can reach those spaces, yet they exist forever, some spaces are filled with forests, some reach the sky, and there is a friend there...

He did fall asleep.Suddenly he jumped up, drew back the curtains, and shouted: "Come!" This action woke him up.Why did he do this?The tree trunks rose out of the fog that hung over the garden grass like the waterway markers in the harbor near his old private school.It was cold enough, he shivered and clenched his fists.The bright moon is in the sky.Below his room is the living room. After the servants have repaired the tiles on the ceiling of the bay, the ladder is still leaning against the window sill of his room.Why are they doing this?He shook the ladder and looked out into the forest.However, once he was able to go to the forest, the desire to go disappeared.what's the function?He's too old to have fun in the wet.

But when he returned to the bed, there was a voice so intimate that it seemed to come from inside his own body.He seemed to crackle and burn.I saw the top of the ladder quivering in the moonlit air.A man's head and shoulders emerged, took a breath, and carefully poked a gun into the floor at the foot of the ledge.The man he hardly knew came up to him, knelt beside him, whispered in a low voice: "Master, you called me, didn't you?...Master, I understand...I understand." And began to stroke him.

"Am I better off just now, sir?"

Maurice, terribly shy, pretended not to hear.

"We can't fall asleep, though, and it's going to be bad if someone gets in," he went on, sniggering pleasantly.Although Maurice felt affectionate, he was timid and sad at the same time.At any rate he replied, "Don't call me sir." Again there was laughter, as though indifference to such questions.The other person seemed charming and savvy, but he became more and more uncomfortable.

"May I ask your name?" he said awkwardly.

"My name is Scudder."

"I know your name is Scudder—I mean your first name."

"It's Alek."

"Good name."

"That's my name."

"My name is Maurice."

"I saw you the first time you came in the carriage, Mr. Hall. I remember that it was Tuesday, and I thought you were angry and kind when you looked at me."

"Who are you with?" Maurice asked after a moment's hesitation.

"Oh, it's Millie, and Millie's cousin. Do you remember? The piano got wet that night, and you tried hard to find a book you liked, but you didn't read it."

"How do you know I haven't read my book?"

"I saw you leaning out the window. I saw you the next night. I was out on the lawn."

"You mean you went outside when it was pouring rain?"

"Yeah... watch... oh, it's nothing. You gotta watch, don't you... You know, I'm not going to be in this country much longer, so I gotta take a good look."

"I was so rough with you this morning!"

"Oh, nothing—forgive me for asking: is that door locked?"

"I'll go and lock it." As he did so, the feeling of timidity returned to him.In what direction is he heading?With whom should I leave Clive for company?

They both fell asleep immediately.

At first they slept separately, as if they would be harassed if they got close, but the movements started just after dawn, and they were already hugging tightly when they woke up. "Shouldn't I be better off now?" he said over and over.Although Maurice's dream in the first half of the night was: "Something is not right, let it go." However, his mood was completely calm at last, and he whispered: "No, no."

"My lord, the church clock has struck four, and you must let me go."

"Maurice, my name is Maurice."

"But the church—"

"What the fuck church."

"I'll have to help level the pitch for cricket," he said, but remained motionless, smiling proudly in the gray twilight. "I've got to tend the chicks--the boat is ready--Mr. London and Mr. Featherston have plunged into the lotus--all young gentlemen can dive, they tell me--I never Didn't learn it. Seems more natural to keep your head out of the water. I call that drowning before the end of your life."

"I was taught that if I didn't get my hair wet I'd get sick."

"Oh, that's not what you were taught."

"Dare - that's just one of them. It was taught to me when I was a kid by a teacher I always trusted. I still remember walking along the beach with him. . . . It's too dark around..." When he realized that his companion was slipping away from him, he shuddered and came to his senses. "Why are you leaving?"

"The cricket thing—"

"No, not cricket - you're going overseas."

"Well, we've got another chance before I go."

"if you