In this world, it's nice to have you

Chapter 4

At the airport, we hugged each other tightly, like lovers who are reluctant to part with each other.I didn't cry, I always behaved calmly at the moment, but I knew that the knife had been dropped cleanly, the blood hadn't had time to flow out, and the pain hadn't had time to dissipate.

she left.I turn and leave.Walk out of the airport and get on the return bus.Tears began to burst.

It was morning again.I finally cried bitterly in a deserted alley.

She is a passerby, gone as if she never came.

Fortunately, there is still a lingering fragrance in the empty room.

I go to bed.never mind.Just take a break for yourself.After crying, everything was as usual.I told myself.

But things are not so easy to disappear.

When I ended with Li Ran, I wondered if I had lost the ability to love, but now I realize that it was just that I didn't meet the right person.

I miss Jian Ning day by day, and the saddest thing is that I can't get in touch with her at all.

What I do every day is just to see things and think about others.Touch the place where she used to lie, stand in the same position on her favorite window sill and look at the sky from the same angle, eat her favorite food.Gradually, I felt that I was turning myself into her.

She said there was no emotion in my paintings.Now, I use all my thoughts to paint, every stroke, every picture is a memory.

However, the saying that time can always dilute everything is useful to any person, but it is just a matter of severity and depth.

Day by day, the business of the studio is still bleak. Although I have gradually recovered from the pain of loss, those memories have only been sealed somewhere and have not faded away.

I was alone in the studio during the Spring Festival, and when I heard the sound of firecrackers in the distance, I felt a little desolate.In fact, it was the same person during the Spring Festival last year. Li Ran, who I met when I was walking to the river, had a New Year’s Eve dinner with her friends.Later, her friends left and she stayed.One stay is half a year.I still feel a little guilty about her, thinking about it, I have never done anything for her.Then I thought of Jian Ning again, wondering how she was doing now.

At midnight, I received a call from my mother, crying and asking me when I would go back.I also vaguely heard my father's loud reprimand.I couldn't answer her, so I could only say a few perfunctory words, then hung up the phone.

After another month, I finally decided to close the studio.Back to her parents, An An became a teacher, got married and had children.

The best things in life have happened and there is no longer any hope.

Just when I packed everything up and was about to say goodbye, the phone rang.

The other party was very quiet, I thought I didn't pick it up, and I was about to hang up, but it came softly, a glass of wine, the first time we met, Jiu Niang, full of meaning. . .

Hearing her voice was like an electric shock to me. I suppressed it for a long time, and finally burst into tears again.

I can't speak.

she says.I miss you.

I said.Me too.

you.Are you ok?

Ok. . .

Are you painting?

without. . .

She heard the sobbing and shaking in my voice.

I don't know how to be so unpromising and lose my position so easily.

you. .Wait me a moment.I went to the toilet to wash my face and tried to calm down.

Hello. . .are you still there?

Um. .Her voice was still soft.

this call.Can I find you in the future?I guess I don't want to let go.

Um. .

Where are you?How is it going?I. . .Can I see you?

She was silent for a while.agreed.

hehe.I burst into laughter.The feeling of regaining something after losing it makes you feel that you must never lose it again.And when you hold it tightly in your hand, you feel so at ease.

Silly boy.she says.

I also seem to forget that she is younger than me, as happy as a child getting candy.

Fate always makes you see hope again when you are about to give up, and finally takes you to the predestined place.

She said she was in Hangzhou.If I go, she will pick me up.

I hung up the phone with great excitement and anticipation.I can't wait to stand in front of her right away.But therefore I cannot be a dutiful son.The guilt has never diminished in my heart, it's just driven by fate, and I can't do anything about it.

I called to change the air ticket to Hangzhou, and after I got the flight number, I sent it to Jian Ning, and she just replied, okay, safe journey.

Suddenly I felt that I was too hasty, and today is not the weekend.Maybe she still needs to take classes.I sent another sentence, will it bother you?

She said, no, don't worry.

The earliest flight to Hangzhou is at noon, and there are still two hours left.I finally closed the studio door and walked out of the alley without looking back.

It has been almost half a year since we last separated.I'm glad she didn't forget me.

Because I was afraid of disturbing her, I didn't take the initiative to send messages to her all the way.When she was about to board the plane, she called.

Hello.she says.

exist.I said.

Have you boarded yet?she asked.

Um.boarding.

Something was bothering me just now, so. . .

It's okay, you were busy beforehand, I'll send you a message when I arrive.I paused.If you are busy, I will wait for you at the airport or tell me a place and I will wait for you there.

hehe.I'm fine this afternoon, I'll pick you up for sure.She laughed, don't be too nervous.

Hehe, me. . .As I said that, I retreated to the back of the line.

But I didn't expect you to come here so soon, and I was really caught off guard.

this. . .Will it be bad?I am very worried.

no no. . .I would love to see you too.Her voice dropped.All right, get on the plane quickly, we'll see you later.

Well, see you later.

On the plane, I kept thinking about her appearance and what I wanted to say when we met.Just thinking about her.

After I came out, I searched hard, but I didn't find her.When I was a little confused, the phone rang, and she said, where are you going?

I said where are you?

behind you.

I turned my head and saw her standing not far away smiling at me.

She put on makeup, changed her hairstyle, grew her hair, and dressed professionally.It's not the same as when I first saw her.

Still shy, I walked towards her.

She came and took my hand and led me out.

Her hands are so soft and warm.I can't tell the sweetness in my heart, so sweet that it melts.

Before he could think about anything, he followed her to the parking lot.

Although her car is not a luxury car, it is not something that ordinary working-class people can afford.After putting away my luggage, I sat next to her.

I'll take you home first, and we'll have dinner after a short rest.She still smiles at me.Surely you didn't eat at noon?

Ate on the plane.

hehe.just know.

I am silent.Suddenly it felt like she was not her.

Well. .she says.sorry.One thing, I'm not telling you the truth.

I looked out the window, feeling uneasy.

I do study mathematics.But, not a math teacher.

oh.I said.

sorry.lied to you.

It is right to have reservations about strangers.I said.

yes.I never thought we would see each other again.

I said, I understand.I really don't mind.It's just that one of the fantasy bubbles is extinguished.little one.

The car drove into a neighborhood with a good environment.It proved once again that she turned out to be a rich man.There is nothing wrong with this, at least many places will be more free.

As soon as he entered the room, a white puppy rushed over.She picked me up and kissed me.

That's what I'm telling you, my baby.

Hehe, it's very cute.

She put the baby down, turned to me, and hugged.I miss you so much.she says.

I hugged her tightly again, and she, who took off her high heels, just lowered my head.Her face was against my chest.Everything that was sealed up, at this moment, all emerged.

I miss you too.I said.

The baby cried on the ground.She wiped away her tears and said, it was jealous.

Hehe, I laugh.

After putting away her luggage, she came over to make tea.

I sat on the sofa and held the baby in my arms.He didn't admit to being born at all, and let me touch him obediently.I looked around, a simple and clean one-bedroom.

You live by yourself?I asked.

Most likely.

What about the other half?

hehe.Go to my mother to accompany her.

oh.I feel at ease.

How about you, how did you spend the past six months?

I didn't answer her directly.Because every day is the same, except for thinking about her, there is nothing special.I said, I closed the studio.

Really?when?

Just a while ago.

What are your plans for the future?

I originally planned to go home to honor my parents.

Oh. . .

I just booked my flight home before answering your call.

oh. .So when are you going back?

Already withdrawn.Didn't I come to join you?

ah. .It was obvious that she was happy.you want to stay?

can i stay

sure.She said, I seem to still owe you rent, there is no reason to refuse you.And you can help me take care of my baby, I'm always too busy to spend time with him.

My value turned out to be this. . .I said it on purpose.

of course not.If you stay, I will treat you well.she says.However, I can't guarantee how far we can go.

No one can know is not it.

I am afraid that one day you will find that I am not what you imagined.

what are you likeI asked.

My heart is cold.

So have an enthusiastic person by your side.

hehe.She laughed again.What about your family?

I can only owe it.My heart sank again.I owe them so much that I feel like I can't even clear it up.

Are you not coming home because your parents don't accept your sexuality?

hehe.yes.

yes.Most parents just can't accept it.

how about you?

My mother is okay, she doesn't care about me, I don't care about her.And she doesn't care about me.

hehe.What the hell do you do?I asked.

Well.I actually am. . .She seemed to be trying to figure out how to explain it to me.A rich man, she said.

This time it was my turn to chuckle.Have you ever said that about yourself?