i can't like him

Chapter 57

The next morning, Sheng Xinghe woke up from the scent all over the sky, and subconsciously glanced at his phone, it was five fifty.

During the period of returning to China to recuperate, his biological clock was adjusted, and he would wake up around six o'clock.

He canceled the alarm clock ahead of time, looked around, and found that He Qinian was not in the house.

The dirty clothes changed last night were neatly stacked on the bed, Sheng Xinghe picked up his T-shirt and smelled it, it was soaked in the fragrance of laundry detergent.

After the torment last night, his bones fell apart, and he simply forgot that there was such a thing as washing clothes.It seems that He Qinian did it after he fell asleep. It has been washed and dried, and even his underwear and socks were washed for him.

Weird.

There are several breakfasts on the coffee table by the window. The smell should be porridge and soup dumplings. The most famous thing in this city is the fresh and sweet soup dumplings, and there are wisps of heat in the air.

Sheng Xinghe sat up, his waist and abdomen tightened, and he stopped as if struck by lightning. He didn't know whether he ran hard during the day or tossed hard at night, and his back hurt.

The memory of his body made those almost crazy images from last night poured into his brain again. He remembered the obscene words He Qinian said on the bed, the corners of his mouth curled up slightly, and he smirked and sighed as he buried his head in the quilt.

The red marks on the wrist have completely subsided, but the hickey marks are still there, and they are a little more eye-catching than last night, dark red with fine dots.

Fortunately, he has the habit of carrying Kinesi Effects with him, checks in the mirror on the dressing table, and covers them all up.

The portion of breakfast on the table is obviously not for one person, Sheng Xinghe called He Qinian after washing, and he replied out of breath: "I'm downstairs, I'll be right back, there is breakfast on the table, you can eat it Yet?"

"Not yet, where have you been?" Sheng Xinghe was so hungry, he opened the disposable packaging box, and first took a soup bag into his mouth.It's a pity that his mouth wasn't big enough, and the juice was scraping all the way down the corner of his mouth, so he quickly took out a tissue to block it.

He Qinian said, "I went to buy something."

Sheng Xinghe was puzzled, it was already here earlier, what else should I buy.

Soon, the door of the room "beeped" and opened from the outside. He Qinian was carrying a small shopping bag in his hand, which didn't look like food, but a medicine box, and he even put on a mask strangely.

Is it because he is worried about the antipyretics he bought in advance for his fever?

No, why do you have to wear a mask when buying antipyretics, so shameful?

He Qinian hopped around while walking, and pulled off his mask as soon as he entered the room. His refreshed appearance made Sheng Xinghe jealous.

It's different at the age of 20. After working so hard all night, I'm not hurt or sick, and I'm alive and well.

"Is it delicious?" He Qinian turned around and asked.

"It's delicious, come and eat it quickly, or I will eat it up if you don't come again."

"Eat it all if you can, and I'll just buy it again."

Sheng Xinghe saw him take out the contents of the bag and put them back in the drawer. If he read correctly, they should be condoms and lubricating fluid, which were exactly the same as the ones they used last night.

Only then did he suddenly remember that this is a hotel arranged by the program team, and the used items must be settled with the assistant. When the time comes, he will look at the consumed items and search for the room number. , If it spreads so much, won't it be on the hot search again?

"You are quite thoughtful." Sheng Xinghe took a sip of yam porridge and couldn't help but praise him.

"That's necessary." He Qinian smiled, and packed all the leftovers from last night's use into his backpack for the next time.

Sheng Xinghe drank gruel, and seeing his cheap swishing look, he wanted to kick his ass.

But looking back on what happened last night, he didn't suffer much. He was really irritable at the beginning, but he enjoyed it after getting used to it. He Qinian is not only talented in high jumping, but also looking for He's also gifted at provoking people.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to make trouble with him for more than an hour.

After tidying up, He Qinian sat down to eat breakfast, and saw that Sheng Xinghe got up slowly, and asked cautiously: "Are you feeling unwell?"

Sheng Xinghe supported the back of the chair with one hand, tried his best to ignore the soreness coming from his buttocks, and raised his lips with a smile: "Next time, let's try another position and you will know where I feel uncomfortable."

He Qinian was a little worried. He regretted that he didn't check him up this morning: "I'll buy you some ointment and apply it later, it can reduce the swelling."

"There's no need for ointment," Sheng Xinghe knew, "It doesn't hurt that much yet, maybe it will be better after a couple of days."

At 07:30, the little assistant from the program group knocked on the door, and everyone bid farewell to the city with a trace of reluctance.

After returning to the team, He Qinian was called to a meeting by his superiors, and he was asked to prepare well in the near future, and wait for the team to go to other places to participate in the World Championship selection in August.Before Qin Hexuan retired from the team and Sheng Xinghe was seriously injured, the high jump team lost two people at once, so they had to ask the newcomers to go up together.

Lin Jianzhou told He Qinian not to have any pressure. It doesn't matter whether he can enter the final or not. This is a small attempt to understand the gap between himself and his opponent, and to feel the atmosphere of a world-class competition in advance.

The World Championships are held every two years, and countries all over the world compete to participate. The gathering is the top athletes of each country. The selection competition is set at 2 meters, and they can directly advance to the finals after passing this hurdle.

If you don't jump over, it depends on the overall ranking. If you are within the [-]th place, you can also advance to the finals.

Sheng Xinghe participated in the selection of the World Championships three times in total. The first time his best result was 2 meters, he did not make it to the finals. The second time he was 27 meters, he barely made it to the finals, but his final result was the last.

He crossed 2 meters at the World Championships the year before, and he ranked sixth among all the players at that time, which was his best result in history.

But because the drug test was positive, it was difficult for him to judge whether he jumped over with his own strength or with the help of drugs.

This is an eternal shadow in his mind.

Especially after the injury, he repeatedly doubted whether he could jump this height in his life, even to a morbid level.

Every time I run up and take off, there is always a cruel and clear voice in my mind: "You can't make it through."

The torn part of the take-off foot didn't seem to be healed, and it hurt when I exerted force.

During the period when He Qi went to other places to participate in the selection competition, he began to suffer from insomnia again, and sometimes he was suddenly awakened by nightmares at three o'clock in the middle of the night.

He dreamed of a ruptured Achilles tendon and a broken knee and woke up sweating and sticky in his pajamas.

In the dead of night, he suddenly remembered the words Qin Hexuan said when he left - I don't know when it started, the high jump can no longer make me feel happy.

He felt the same way now.

From happiness, anticipation, and satisfaction to a painful torture, exhaustion, and helplessness.

Every time the pole fell, it was like putting heavy shackles on him, layer after layer.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, he just couldn't be happy.

He Qinian was busy with competitions, and all his friends from the track and field team went to participate in the selection for the World Championships, but he was the only one who was regressing.

At a height of 2 meters, he jumped for a whole day without passing it.

unprecedented.

Every cell in the body is resisting the high jump.

A thought often flashed in my mind-it would be a waste of time to continue practicing, or just stop here.

He has no one to confide in, nor does he have the warmth to hold on to all the time. The sadness has accumulated over time, and finally breaks through the surface and is revealed between the eyebrows.

Bian Hanlin was the first to notice that something was wrong with Sheng Xinghe.

At first, he just felt that Sheng Xinghe had rested for too long and his physical fitness had not kept up, so he readjusted the training time, but after waiting for two weeks, Sheng Xinghe still did not exceed 2 meters, and became less communicative and avoided physical therapy. Even avoiding training, I guess he probably has a psychological problem.

So I took him to see a psychiatrist, and nothing happened.

PTSD is a relatively common post-traumatic mental disorder.

When the injured person encounters the situation that caused him to be injured again, the situation and pain at that time will involuntarily appear in his mind, resulting in increased vigilance, and he dare not use his full strength for fear of being injured again.

A popular explanation is that once bitten by a snake for ten years, you are afraid of well ropes.

The difficulty is that no medicine can completely cure this kind of mental illness, and it depends on self-will to support and overcome the predicament.

Once there is a problem with the athlete's psychology, the whole person will fall into a state of self-doubt.

Self-confidence is the driving force behind all actions. Without enthusiasm and self-confidence, what is the talk of doing your best?

Sheng Xinghe couldn't hide his frustration, and he didn't say a word in the car.

Bian Hanlin comforted: "Relax your mind, don't worry, the doctor said just now, it takes time to overcome, do you know that many NBA stars have this situation after injury, and some need a year or two to adjust. "

Sheng Xinghe turned his head to look at the surging traffic, and set himself a final goal: "If I can't jump 2 meters 30 by the end of this year, I will quit."

Bian Hanlin did not persuade him to stay, but only responded softly. As a coach, he has no right to ask the athletes to leave or stay.

Since he has no ability to predict Sheng Xinghe's future, he naturally doesn't dare to decide other people's lives casually.

The trials for the World Championships ended, and He Qinian followed the team back to City A. Although he failed to make it to the finals, he was so excited to see so many world champions on the spot. Share it with Sheng Xinghe.

[Slimy: I shook hands with Sotomayor, and I haven't washed it yet, so I'll touch it for you when I go back, and soak up his fairy spirit! 】

He Qinian's joy overflowed the screen, Sheng Xinghe couldn't help laughing.

【Sheng Xinghe: When did you hold it?Didn't wash your hands in the bathroom? 】

[Sticky: I solved it with my left hand, but I didn't wash my right hand. 】

【Sheng Xinghe: Idiot, if he knew that he shook hands with a person who didn't wash his hands in the toilet, he would probably go crazy. 】

[Sticky: Just kidding!I shook hands with him before getting on the plane, and it was still warm. I also asked him for an autograph and confessed later. 】

Half an hour later, when the bus arrived at the base, He Qinian didn't bother to deal with the leader and went straight to the dormitory. The rollers of the suitcase made a loud noise on the ground.

The movement was from far to near, accompanied by brisk footsteps, Sheng Xinghe felt that the rhythm was very familiar.

Opening the door, a huge figure flew towards him, muttering in only audible voices: "Honey~ I miss you so much!"

Ever since that night in the hotel, He Qinian has always used "wife" instead of other names. Sheng Xinghe is always afraid that he will slip up outside, so he will correct him every time: "Brother."

He Qinian changed the subject: "Hurry up, shake hands with me, I'm going to the bathroom after shaking hands, I'm suffocating!"

Sheng Xinghe was successfully led off by him. He stretched out his hand to hold He Qinian's right palm. He felt something in his palm. When he unfolded it, it was the mascot pendant of this World Championship. cute.

"I'll see you off." He Qinian said.

Sheng Xinghe was stunned: "What about you? Do you have any more?"

"What's mine is yours!"

He Qinian pushed the suitcase into the room, blowing air on the air conditioner: "The air conditioner on the bus is broken, I'm so hot all the way back!"

Sheng Xinghe grabbed his collar and tugged it to the side: "That can't be blown against the wind." After that, he took a tissue to wipe off the sweat on his forehead: "Thirsty? I'll get you a glass of water .”

"I want a kiss." When He Qinian said this, he gently tugged at Sheng Xinghe's trouser leg.

He raised his slender neck, like a little wolf dog waiting for his master to feed him.

Sheng Xinghe bent down slightly, He Qinian grabbed him by the collar and fell face to face on the bed.

He Qinian stretched out his hand to tickle him, and turned over old accounts: "You don't even say you miss me."

Sheng Xinghe's waist is the most sensitive, he was scratched to the point of collapse and begged for mercy: "I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much."

"late!"

He Qinian pressed on Sheng Xinghe's body, scratched his hands, and didn't let go of his mouth, biting the back of his neck, his hot and humid breath was in his ears, Sheng Xinghe's limbs were all curled up together, he managed to Climbing a little to the side, He Qinian grabbed his ankle and dragged him back.

The young couple were fighting in full swing, when the door suddenly opened from the outside.

Lin Jianzhou heard Bian Hanlin talk about post-traumatic sequelae, so he came over to have a look. As soon as he entered the door, he saw two people rolling in circles together, their clothes disheveled and their hair messy, and He Qinian's arms were still in Sheng Xinghe's clothes.

If he read correctly, He Qinian bit someone's ear just now.

"Why is this?"

The two of them disassembled at the speed of light, rearranged the clothes, and acted like a guilty conscience, blushing like bell peppers, Sheng Xinghe still stammered: "No, no, just kidding."

Although Lin Jianzhou was over [-] years old, he also traveled around with the large army, saw everything new, and had a rough judgment on the hazy relationship between the two of them.

He didn't point it out directly, but reminded cautiously and tactfully: "Those who didn't know thought you two were in a relationship, sticking together all day long."

He Qinian was quite clever, so he changed the subject: "Coach, do you have anything to do with him?"

"Oh yes, your coach said that you are not happy recently, what did the psychiatrist say?"

He Qinian was stunned: "What's wrong with you?"

Sheng Xinghe explained the general situation.

He Qinian suddenly realized. He remembered that a star once said: The most difficult thing to heal is often not the physical injury, but the gap in the heart.

Old wounds are not healed, and new ones are added.

Sheng Xinghe's previous self-confidence, sunshine, and optimism were lost along the gaps one after another.

He Qinian asked his friends in the group about this matter, and also checked a lot of literature. The most common answer was desensitization treatment.

Get up wherever you fall.

If you dare not jump, you will jump more.

After half a day of training, he found that Sheng Xinghe was not afraid to jump at all, but he couldn't push down with his left foot as hard as before, and he always held back his strength.

"Take a rest." He Qinian handed over the thermos, "Drink some water, I added some good things in it, close your eyes and taste it, then tell me what it tastes like."

Sheng Xinghe smiled, took a sip, and half-closed his eyes: "Godberry?"

"Yes," He Qinian chuckled, "The coach said it can invigorate the kidneys."

Sheng Xinghe elbowed it.

The coach on the track field is pointing at the new athletes and scolding: "Are you indistinguishable between your left and right hands? Who told you to hand over with your left hand?"

He Qinian looked towards the source of the sound.

It was running the men's [-]-meter relay. One player was left-handed. The new coach didn't know and asked him to switch back to his right hand.

"Who is used to your bad habits!? If you can't change it, you have to change it for me. I've never seen anyone use the left hand to handover! Did you let your teammate take care of you?"

In an instant, He Qinian seemed to have a flash of lightning flashing through the back of his head, and he froze, excited as if his blood flowed backwards. He suddenly raised his hand and shook Sheng Xinghe's arm: "Brother! Your right leg is completely fine, right?" !?"

Sheng Xinghe was drinking warm water, and was shaken by him, spilled on the ground, frowned and said: "No problem, what's wrong?"

"Then have you ever tried using your right leg as a jumping leg?" When He Qinian got excited, the decibels would automatically amplify, attracting Bian Hanlin's attention.

There are indeed two ways to take off in the back-style high jump. Domestic high jumpers basically start in a counterclockwise direction. The right leg swings and the left leg uses force to take off. At that moment, the left leg needs to bear the pressure of the whole body, which is like It is a spring that explodes suddenly, so the sprains and injuries are basically in all joints of the left leg.

However, looking at the international arena, there are also athletes who start in a clockwise manner, that is, in the completely opposite direction. When taking off, they use their right leg to kick the ground, and their left leg becomes a swinging leg, which reduces a lot of pressure.

For example, the Canadian men's high jumper Drouin uses his right leg to take off. In the 2016 Olympics, he successfully surpassed international famous players Bondarenko and Barsim to win the championship with a score of 2 meters.

Sheng Xinghe was a little confused after hearing this, and replied, "I've never tried it before."

He has been practicing high jump for almost 16 years, and all the muscles in his body have formed a complete memory. He can run and jump with his eyes closed, and jump over poles. This is like asking a person who eats with his right hand to use his left hand to hold chopsticks.

Everything has to be overthrown and restarted.

The mind says you can do it, you can do it, but your fingers say, no, I can't.

He Qinian patted him on the shoulder and encouraged him: "Don't be afraid, just give it a try. Look at Su Bingtian, who changed his starting legs and directly ran an Asian [-]-meter record!"

Sheng Xinghe roared: "That's Su Bingtian!"

He Qinian also roared: "You are Sheng Xinghe!"