i am not bisexual

Chapter 17

Many good girls fall in love with K.Slender and fair, handsome face, gentle and free-spirited temperament, these are not the most important; it is a broken and unpredictable heart, but it is helpless to mend it without knowing how, and the stars are scattered into melancholy and indifference in the corners of the eyes and brows.This can arouse their desire for challenge, and perhaps maternal desire for control; however, most of the time, K avoids their intentions.There are also some boys who like k.He is clean and fresh, looks almost abstinent, and does not have the impetuousness or dustiness of people in the gay circle.A rare combination of beauty, talent and humility.

His heart is different from many people; he seeks the truth, and he does not want to use others as experiments or victims.He is willing to hold on, willing to wait or be alone, willing to accept despair.

However, he was not exempt.Once or twice, I wanted to love someone again, put aside the past in my heart, and verify the feasibility of doing so in the world.

For example, Pearl, the girl's name, is taken from the German word for pearl. K believes that she really loves him, loves him dearly, and is even willing to spend the rest of her life with him without any second thoughts.When Pearl first met him, she was so nervous that she couldn't even speak fluently, she liked and cared so much. K was surprised and warmed because he had lost that purity.It's just that with the passage of time, he discovered a cruel truth about himself. He couldn't let go of the feelings that he didn't know each other well, but there were very few people in the world who could know him.It's not her fault, it's not anyone's fault, maybe it's God's will, maybe everyone is like this, only he is serious, only he is truly willful, only he is wrong.

Only he is the one who would rather starve to death by sucking the wind and drinking the dew, the one who would enjoy it while looking up at the night sky in the mire, the one who would turn into bubbles and have no regrets in the second before the dawn after the lover's wedding night.It was such a hopeless person who was once warned by someone who liked him: You are such a monster, don't come out to harm the world.

He listened.He's broken, he doesn't deserve it.No one can save him.Whether he wants to seek the Tao or the Buddha, he will escape into Buddhism by himself through penance.Perhaps there is still someone who needs to be saved, what he can do to help others, and he has spent his entire life in self-cultivation.

He wanted to go on being so willful and go astray, taking a different path from ordinary people.Because so much love and longing are sealed up in my heart, can I really go wrong?Is there a right or wrong in beauty?Somewhere, in the darkness, he felt that perhaps this was the darkest moment.