for love

Chapter 27

He felt that he was really crazy. Even though he was hurt like this, he still wanted to stay by his side and be humiliated and bullied by him.

Really... I have sunk too deep, and I am still holding on to the protruding stones on the cliff. Maybe one day I will fall into the bottomless pit and never climb up again.

But now he has no regrets at all.

Because I have not been hurt the most, before I really give up, I will not hesitate like moths to a flame. Even if I have been burned by the sparks to the point of consciousness, I will only truly understand my own self-control and ridiculousness when I am burned to death. to what extent.

Even if he fantasizes about true happiness, he dare not expect it. Xie Jiashu is not someone he can control, and his usual disdain and cynicism are not from the heart.

He is a bit vicious, but everything is not groundless.Xie Zhishu has always known that there is nothing in him that can be appreciated by that outstanding younger brother.

He knows himself too well.

There is no advantage at all, whether it is internal or external, and even if you want to find something that is slightly eye-catching, it is difficult.It is amazing that people who are almost out of tune with this world exist in this world.

His dullness and clumsiness have nothing to do with this society and the people in this society.

"Really... let me go to America..."

Xie Zhishu looked at the clay figurine in his hand, and lightly touched the little "Xie Jiashu" with his lips. Only a clay figurine could he boldly kiss.

No matter how much you like it, when you face that person, you are more afraid.Only he himself understands the sadness in the awe that arises from being too much in love.

What's more, it was his younger brother, how could he say "I love you" to his younger brother who was related by blood.

Moreover, Xie Jiashu would not care about these three words that are precious and difficult to say to him.

Looking at such an excellent younger brother, one can feel the obvious gap.The contrast between Xie Jiashu's excellence and Xie Zhishu's clumsiness is too sharp, and there is no way to deceive oneself and others.

Even if he doesn't think about it, someone will always make him face the gap between them.

"Not at all... I won't... I don't want to..."

While smiling wryly, the tears never stopped.He is like this, crying at every turn, Xie Jiashu's most annoying character is gathered on him.

To be precise, it is not so much that Xie Jiashu hates all the factors that Xie Jiashu hates in him, it is better to say that Xie Jiashu hates those cowardly and dull characters because he hates him.

Xie Jiashu didn't like him very much.The hatred and loathing doomed from an unpleasant first encounter are not innate, but those memories are too vivid.

He didn't do anything terribly sinful, but he hurt the person he least wanted to hurt in his life.Even though he didn't intend to hurt him, but fate did, in the name of Xie Zhishu.

In fact, they shouldn't have walked into each other's lives.

If they had nothing to do with each other, if their mothers weren't the same...

Then he has no reason to hurt the family tree, the family tree, and no reason to hate him.

However, it has become an inevitable thing, and it is useless to struggle.Those who are submissive can only accept their fate.But occasionally, I also want to struggle.

If only I could become stronger...

"Family, family tree...what you like...is completely different from mine...isn't it?"

If you become another self, abandon the current one, and become a completely different person who is the opposite of the current self.Does the family tree not hate herself so much?

"If... If I change it, will you, will you, like me?"

Looking at the clay figurine like this and asking the same question repeatedly, Xie Zhishu seemed to have figured out something suddenly, and felt a bit of sour hope.

Maybe, maybe he can change too.

Maybe, Xie Jiashu will stop hating him one day.

If he becomes a better man than Jiashu, if he gets rid of all the annoying personalities that make Jiashu despise him, will Jiashu stop hating him, and even... have a chance to be liked by him?

When I thought about it this way, I suddenly felt that there is nothing wrong with going to the United States.

Although I don't want to be separated from the family tree, although I am very reluctant, although I have an illusion of being abandoned.

However, in a place where Xie Jiashu is not there, in a place that is completely different from here, where no one knows him and no one knows his cowardice and humbleness, maybe he can slowly become another, different Xie Zhishu.

However, his heart really hurts.

Thinking of the absence of the Xie family tree, it was as if the whole world was about to collapse.

For too long, I have regarded Xie Jiashu as the whole of my life, and for Xie Jiashu's clumsy cover-up of my stupidity, I have tried every means to please him... Living for Xie Jiashu, for too long, has turned everything into a habit.

Just like the cowardice and cowardice that he has been unable to turn his back on.

I can't quit the habit, and Xie Jiashu can't quit it even more.

But he should try to get rid of him, always clinging on, making it difficult for both parties, this kind of life that hurts each other...

As if Xie Zhishu had made up his mind, he shrugged his shoulders that had been drooping all year round.

This way of life has been going on for too long, it should be... It should be time to work hard for your own future.

Usually I always curl myself up in the turtle shell, even if I think about that person in my heart, even if I love him to death, I always can't say it. Now Xie Zhishu, Xie Zhishu who even hates himself, will never let Jiashu produce Good impression.

It's time to change yourself.

He remembered that indifferent smile that made him feel distressed.

The family tree looked down on him.

However, I only hope that one day I will wait for your approval, even if it is not love.

Even if, after doing a lot, all I get is a smiling look from you, I am willing.

It's better than...doing nothing, being hated and ridiculed forever...much better.

Xie Zhishu stood up, with soft eyes, put the two little clay figurines together in the deepest part of the drawer.

I will no longer let my love see the light of day like a clay figurine being put in a drawer.

It's just that the "love" in the heart and the "love" that is truly confirmed by actions are completely different concepts. From now on, a dividing line has been drawn.

Whether he understands it or not, he must do it so that his heart will no longer ache from being humble.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

saliva--

I feel more and more... Naoki is already the same as Uncle and Xiao Han... I can't speak a word and talk to myself every day...

Difficult, is it because I am too old, I nagged myself and said that the second chapter has a tendency to develop into the third chapter=_=~

An awkward kid: My brother is only 20 years old, okay?

Young seedlings in a certain greenhouse: How can you compare my family with my uncle!

A low-level man with EQ: Xie Jiashu, He Yi!Is my Xiaofan blocking your eyes? !Even the author was dragged out and chopped off!

Broken: In fact, people have always written all the little shou as uncles... Of course, Uncle Ji is a veritable old man, so you just accept your fate (pick your nose).

Audience: =_=~

An affectionate **: (Patting chest) Fortunately, the story between me and Zhezhu only has three chapters.

A certain only forced subject: (patting Brother Jing) How long has it been? There are only three chapters, you are so happy!Drag the author out and kill him!

Broken: Who made you unpopular and no one urged you (you have already started to renege on your debts...), and ah, they clearly wrote four chapters =_=~

**Two: ... Chapter Four, Chapter Four...

An awkward kid: HIAHIAHIA~ deserves it~

Broken: Little tree, in fact, you are about to wither =_=|||

Big tree and small tree: ...

Broken: It's none of my business if no one collects it, 555, someone posted it in a sick way! ! !

Crowd: Three days of fishing and 30 days of drying the net, get out! ! !

Broken: I am getting older, and my saliva is a lot, and recently I have recovered from my saliva & illness|||

People: Exams & games in June, saliva & recuperation in July, menu in August, no idea! ! !

Broken: Playing in the water & fishing in August...

Crowd: Go away...