sinovels Chapter 114 114
Chapter 114 114
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Do you ask me if I regret it?
If I had known this was the situation, should I have looked back at him that day?
But if one does not take a desperate step, one does not know whether one should regret it or not.
At first, because of the rescue of George, I could bear the sadness of being separated from him.There are two things in my heart, to survive and rescue George, so I won't be too hesitant.
I soon came to England, inquiring about George incognito.During this period, I have been paying attention to the Berlin issue through "The Times" and other newspapers. Knowing that the wall was finally repaired, the newspaper published a photo of him standing in front of the wall after repairing the wall. I carefully cut out the interlayer and put it in the wallet. , and cried all night.
In the second year, when I managed to inquire about George at Scotland Yard, the secret of my identity could no longer be hidden. The KGB hunted down as scheduled. For the first time, I was unguarded and injured. I hid at home to heal my wounds. a month.Originally, his body had recovered, but he was transferred back to Moscow to replace the commander-in-chief of the Soviet Army in Germany in the newspaper. He was hit again and fell into a coma for three days.If my well-meaning neighbor knocked on my door because of the rain and water leakage, I would have died of a fever that rainy night.
But thinking that George is still in prison and I can't live up to the mission he gave me, I readjusted my state and worked hard to recover my health.At this time, the world situation has undergone tremendous changes. The Cuban missile crisis almost wiped out the entire world. The confrontation between the United States and the Soviet Union continued to escalate. The arms race went deep into space. Kennedy was also shot in the head...
But all that has nothing to do with me anymore, I just miss my Julian, with the mission he gave me to rescue George. In 1964, I finally found the prison where George was serving his sentence. At that time, something that made me happy finally happened-Khrushchev was dismissed from all positions and forced to step down, and Brezhnev became the new leader. .
You see, no one wins, even he loses.No one will be spared in this era.
I don't know what this means for Julian, because there are always very few newspapers about him, and I always have to search many newspapers to get the slightest information about him.Sometimes the newspaper didn’t read and publish his photo, and I would get angry. Sometimes the newspaper said something bad about him, and I would go to that newspaper overnight and beat up their editor-in-chief.
It took me two full years to rescue George. In 1966, when I successfully brought George out of the prison, we looked at each other and cried and laughed. Really.In the next few months, George and I acted together. Originally, the Soviet Union had extended an olive branch to him, but because of his leg injury or other reasons, he always refused to leave.
Perhaps he had sensed my gradual mental breakdown at that time, and he stayed by my side for a whole year, comforting and reassuring me constantly.Afterwards, we fled the UK and wandered to France, Belgium, and the Netherlands... But we couldn't bear the simultaneous pursuit from MI[-] and KGB, and we ended up in a terrible mess every time.
And at that time, I also lost all news of Julian.
His name, like being erased by this world, never appeared in front of me again.
I knelt down in front of George in despair and begged him to go to the Soviet Union and deliver some news about Julian for me. After a very painful struggle, George hugged me and cried all night, and set foot on the road to the Soviet Union the next day. road.So grabbing him at the straw, I felt like I could live again.
During those days, I wandered the streets of France, looking forward to the direction of the Soviet Union every day, hoping for some message from George.I waited and waited, and finally in the early morning of 1967, I received a letter from the Soviet Union.
In the letter, George told me that Julian was fine, he was still alive, but he withdrew from the political arena forever, no longer involved in military affairs and politics.There is also a photo sent with the letter, which is a photo of him sitting in front of a white house. He looks very sad, and his eyes are far away. He seems to be older. When I looked carefully, I found that he Holding a glass ball in his hand.
It was a glass ball I gave him, with a piece of Siberian snow in it.
I looked at him and wept bitterly.
Because of this photo, I felt his longing, so I strengthened my determination, believing that there will be a time for us to meet again.
But so far, there is only this news. Because of the pursuit of the KGB, I fled around and changed my address. Over time, I lost all contact with George.
In fact, it’s not that I haven’t tried to go back to Germany. Once, in 1969, I had the courage to come to West Berlin, and I knew Misha was there.So I met him secretly. At that time, he was already the deputy director of the Stasi Foreign Intelligence Bureau. When he saw me, he still cried into tears. He told me a lot about Julian, saying After Khrushchev stepped down, Brezhnev still did not change their fear of Julian, and "under house arrest" in the name of recuperating his body.His personal safety was guaranteed, but he could never regain his true freedom.
Because of that hasty meeting, Misha was suspected by the KGB and reviewed for a full month. No one knows the KGB review better than me. Since then, I have never dared to meet him easily.
I ran and ran, and in a blink of an eye, it was 1970. On that day, I stood on a familiar street in West Berlin, turned and walked into an apartment. I got an address in that apartment, so I flew to Norway.
Alta, I've heard it's a beautiful place.There is a very beautiful aurora, and a beautiful person is sleeping,
There I met Major Victor, my old friend was growing old, and the Iranga was dead.The major lived alone in a fishing village near the sea, and he was very happy with my arrival. He took me out to fish, sat side by side with me, and looked at the sea sadly.
The sea is calm, reflecting the aurora, the snow falls silently, and we often sit for hours at a time.
He told me that his lover died in this sea.In such a cold sea, he often worried that he would not be able to rest in peace at the bottom of the sea, but he also felt that it was a kind of luck for a supreme commander like him to die in battle with honor.I sat beside him and wept silently, telling him that the person I love is now in the far east, we miss each other, but we can't see each other.
Major Victor took my hand and told me to have faith because nothing stops lovers from meeting.
To wait patiently, waiting for the moment of reunion, before that, we must live well.
In the evening, we would chat around the fireplace in his simple and warm Viking cabin. I showed Julian’s photo to him. His picture has been published in Norwegian newspapers.He proudly showed me a picture of his lover again, which he couldn't help showing even though I'd seen it years ago.
He and the supreme commander stood among the cornflowers, smiling happily, that was their youth, I said with a smile, it's a pity that I didn't have a photo with him, because the only one was clipped on him At that time, I was very unhappy, full of thoughts, and couldn't smile in front of the camera, but he was full of interest. On Decembrist Square, we stood side by side, like two brothers.But no one knows that we are lovers, we can kiss, have sex, quarrel, even fight, but I always can’t beat him, but he apologizes quickly after beating me, so sincere that I can’t find a reason to fight back .
As we talked, weeping, Major Victor could only stroke my head over and over again, trying to comfort me.Be patient, wait, there will always be a day of reunion, as long as you are still alive, there is hope.
Later, I always felt that I was too cruel. You must know that Colonel Victor can no longer wait for the supreme commander.He can only guard the sea and miss him endlessly.
Later, we would always walk along the coastline, and there was a kid named Valiki who always surrounded us. When he looked at me curiously, he muttered that Uncle Victor still had friends.It didn’t take long before I said goodbye to Major Victor, because the long-term life of being hunted and killed made me realize that I could not stay in one place for long. In order to protect the major’s safety and not bring unnecessary trouble to the villagers, I am here Left Norway in 1970.
But where to go next?I don't know... Now I am wandering in this world like a lonely ghost.
Every night, I would take out Julian’s photo and look at it carefully under the light, and gently touch his face with a happy smile when he smelled the fragrance of flowers, as if he was still by my side.Sometimes, I would take out Sasha's notebook and read it over and over again to relive their past.In addition, to my surprise, the only photo of him and Alan was clipped in my notebook at some point, so they also started to accompany me. I was intoxicated by their smiles, as if I was still with them. Not separated.
I kissed those photos countless times, but I was worried about crumpling the photos, and I always smoothed the corners carefully, just like caring for exquisite treasures.When I fell into the river again while being hunted down by the KGB, the first thing I thought of was not to get wet the photos and notebooks wrapped in tape, and I forgot that the gun holes on my body would kill me.
Many times, I wanted to rush directly to the Soviet Union without breaking the boat, and even fantasized about entering the Soviet Union through China in a big circle, but the idea was often shattered by an assassination or attack before it could be implemented, which made me realize the ruthless and cruel reality .Suddenly, it was 1971, and I realized with horror that ten years had passed.
Ten years... ten years...
How many decades are there in life...
I walked on the banks of the Seine, looked at the river sadly, and often wept silently. The river reflected my sad face, and I realized that I was no longer young.
Suddenly, I am already 40 years old...
I often recall the night when the barbed wire was pulled up, I was so resolute when I left, listened to his words, and didn't look back, but I regretted it.I sat by the Seine, looked at my aging face, and regretted it.
I should have turned around, even turned around, and ran to him and told him I wasn't leaving him.
But then what kind of ending will we usher in?
We are determined to fight against the times, will we really be doomed to be smashed as Sonia said?
There are no more answers.
The only thing we know is that we did go crazy and lost our heads at that time, but we didn't realize it.We were lost in each other's love and bodies, completely lost in our pain and anger.There are many unreasonable delusions, and delusions are destined to only disappoint people, even despair.