dream eater

Chapter 34 Don't Look, Don't Listen, Don't Think

It is precisely because Jiang Heran was shadowed by incomplete maternal love when he was a child, that when Fan Tian called him "Mom", he recalled his helplessness when calling his mother, and responded with the response that "Mom" should have. Take care of the caller's emotions.

Unknowingly deep in Fan Tian's heart, there is an Oedipus plot, but he doesn't remember anything about his childhood.

He has gone through too many things recently, and Jiang impressively opened the closed door of his heart. Recalling every past event is accompanied by mixed feelings, and he seems to be vaguely reminded of something.

He remembered the "first time" between him and Jiang Heran on the timeline. When Jiang Heran was on a mission with him, he was dressed as a woman, and his knee-length skirt blew across the flower fields. The fragrance of flowers sent away by the breeze smelled All are colorful flavors.

The hem of the plain white skirt was stained with pollen. Fan Tian, ​​who was walking behind Jiang Heran, lifted the hem of the skirt, so the person in front paused slightly, and looked back at him with his head tilted. On his rigid and serious face, his eyebrows and eyes were slightly curved. The gentle arc, at that moment, Fan Tian was suddenly in a trance.

Time went back, and he also shrunk down to his childhood appearance. He patted on the pollen-stained skirt, but inadvertently pressed the stain deeper.The woman in front of her had cold eyes but a gentle expression. She touched the top of his head and walked side by side with him holding his immature hand.

Fan Tian, ​​who recalled more, realized that it was his mother.

But he didn't feel too deeply about it, even though the woman in his memory treated him so kindly and gently.

Fan Tian was not born ruthless.

This is thanks to his mother.

It was the night when his father, who was an important politician, was shot and killed by his political opponents. The woman who realized the imminent danger locked him in a closet and told him with a calm emotion that was completely opposite to the panic situation. :"keep quiet."

"Don't look, don't listen, don't think about it." The woman ordered in a mechanical voice, "Do you remember?"

Fan Tian shook his head ignorantly, at that time he was seven years old, like a young bird that couldn't leave the nest, more attached to the arms of his relatives than his peers.

But this time, he was resolutely pushed away by his mother.

"Don't care about anything, don't be sad about anything, live for yourself." His mother covered his eyes with her palm and told him, "Remember."

Seven-year-old Fan Tian is very obedient, his parents are always very busy, he only has to be obedient, eat the annoying cauliflower on the plate, and play the newly learned piano music completely, so that he can chat with his parents and act like a baby. The short stay of the parents was extended and rewarded.

In addition to being too clingy, he has always been a child who makes parents worry.

So Fan Tian, ​​who was locked in the dark cabinet, obediently closed his eyes.

Don't listen, don't look.

The sound of breaking doors, messy footsteps, conversations, and deafening gunfire.The bullets that pierced the flesh continued to spin, and hit the wooden cabinet where the boy was hiding. He knocked on the door of the cabinet and played a nasty joke with the hiding child.

Sawdust was flying, and the sudden loud noise almost burst the eardrums, and the obedient child made no sound as if he lost his voice.

The woman was very clever. Before she died, she reprimanded the thugs for killing her husband and son, and she would not let them go even if she was a ghost.So the murderers, who were eager to claim credit, thought that the accomplices who killed them had already attacked the target child in advance, and the boy in the cabinet survived.

Fan Tian squatted in front of the woman's blood-drained corpse, his heart seemed to be blown out of his chest by the loud noise, empty and numb.

what happened?

Is this bloody corpse covered in disheveled hair his mother?

His mother always had her hair tied up neatly and dressed appropriately, not like this.

Then who is this? It looks so painful and pitiful.

Don't even think about it.

Don't care about anything, don't be sad about anything.

Fan Tian stood up expressionlessly, his heart and emotions were emptied, and his soul was trapped in the dark cabinet and could not escape with him.

After many years, this lost cub was taken in by a schemer with a bad background. The schemer had the mentality of assimilating the child who was at odds with him and behaved honestly and hostilely. It was crucified in the abyss.

It was rare for him to see the person holding his hand with a warm smile under the clear blue sky, the warm air and the fragrance of grass and trees.

He saw it, but lost it again.

The mastermind of the traitor was waiting for a trial, but the person he was waiting for disappeared, as if he was forgotten, or exiled indefinitely.

Jiang Heran handed over his status and status as promised earlier. The organization needed a capable leader, and Fan Tian's flawless operation after taking over made the passive leader cast off the burden on his shoulders. During the period of serious injury and recuperation, he appeared in the organization together with Tsurui, and then completely transformed into a ghost that is hard to find.

The cemetery is the resting place of the dead. Jiang, who missed the anniversary of Elles' death, came to the cemetery to pay homage on his birthday.

The birthday he remembers is the day when Elise picked him up.

A flock of crows hovered in the sky, and the crows that landed on the branches stared at the people below.

The leader of the villains who was always swarming around him appeared alone, dressed in black under the cover of the dimming sky, like a lonely shadow.

He placed the bouquet in front of Elise's tombstone, his voice was soft and rare, "I miss you so much."

The buzzing sound came from the bush behind the tombstone. Even though no one was waiting for him to go back, Fan Tian, ​​who still set the "go home" reminder, silently turned off the mobile phone reminder with his frozen fingers.

Jiang Heran just raised his eyes indifferently, and before looking over, he understood something, and didn't look away half an inch in that direction.

Knowing that today was a special day for Jiang Heran, Fan Tian was expecting it, so he waited from morning till night. Fortunately, he was lucky enough to meet the person he was waiting for.

It's the first time in days that we didn't meet in a dream. It's just that the sky is so dark and gray, which brings a sense of distance. It's so far away that I can't see the other person's face clearly. It's more like an illusion of longing for illness. Let's get closer , it will collapse and dissipate like a dream.

The person he was watching ignored his existence, and accompanied by Tsurui who came up to him, he set off to leave.

Fan Tian followed behind, and Tsurui, who noticed the difference, narrowed his eyes, and said with a sneer, "You still dare to show up?"

There was nothing Fan Tian didn't dare to do - except things related to Jiang Heran.

The man who once believed in not bowing his head to anyone as his credo in life bent his knees, knelt down to Jiang and confessed his mistake, "Forgive me, please?"

He Jing seemed to want to fight Fan Tian because he wanted to win love and Qiu who was assassinated.His side has been injured for a hundred days, and the steel nails are still embedded in his body. The one on the kneeling ground has had a knife in his chest for more than a month, and has suffered from the cold for another day.

Jiang, who should express his opinion the most, was extremely calm, and Fan Tian was automatically filtered out of his eyes, and he calmly told Tsurui that if he was not in a hurry to go back, he would stay with Elles for a while longer.

It was probably because of the exhausting journey back from a foreign country today, and the fact that he hadn't had a good meal, and the pregnancy reaction that hadn't been strong suddenly broke out. Jiang held his stomach and retched for a long time before suppressing the nausea.

Fan Tian wanted to go forward to check on Jiang Heran's condition, but Hejing supported him one step ahead, and gently ran along Jiang Heran's back, "Go back, you have to keep warm now, your body is important, don't catch a cold."

It is not necessary to see blood to kill, but to punish the heart is the most ruthless, Tsurui said softly, but clearly to the other person present, "In case our children are not good again, and you are uncomfortable if you continue to make trouble."

Fan Tian froze in place when he heard the words, Jiang as if acquiescing, pulled down the collar of the windbreaker, and the person who had always been unruly, obediently accelerated his pace of departure.

During the one and a half months of parting, Fan Tian exhausted all means to find the trail of the ghost, and missed Jiang Heran to the point of going insane—his Jiang Heran didn’t want him anymore—how could his Jiang Heran be with him? others together?

Fan Tian tremblingly said: "Stop."

The sky darkened again, and the departing figures became more and more blurred.Fan Tian subconsciously drew his gun in the flustered heart palpitations, but he did not point the gun at He Jing, his hands were shaking too much, and he was afraid of accidentally hurting Jiang Heran.

Hearing the sound of the bullet being loaded, Tsurui turned his head vigilantly, but was surprised to see Fan Tian throw away the murder weapon that could turn the situation around.

"You don't need to apologize." He has already claimed back the feeling of being deceived, and the previous hatred has been cut off by that knife.Jiang Heran stared ahead, and said in a flat voice: "Forgive this kind of rhetoric, it's too high-sounding. I don't hold grudges against you, and you are not worthy of my grudges. That's all. But if you really want to make enemies with me, you can try."

"You said you only loved me."

Jiang Heran smiled, "Strictly speaking, from the beginning to the end, I accepted and fell in love with you when I was sleepwalking."

If Fan Tian hadn't sleepwalked, they wouldn't have had a start, and if he didn't have the pure personality he had when he was sleepwalking, Jiang Heran wouldn't have fallen in love with this cold and scheming man again.

But Fan Tian already knew that he was wrong, his original heart had already resonated with his sleepwalking consciousness, and he would treat Jiang Heran more attentively than when he was sleepwalking.

"Give me one more chance, please?"

What answered him was the figure from the back that disappeared into the darkness.