dizziness

Chapter 39

"What are you standing here looking at, suddenly a phone call called me out," Xiao Ruohan patted Owen on the shoulder, Owen turned around in a daze, Xiao Ruohan saw the wound on his forehead, and one cheek was red and swollen , couldn't help but clicked his tongue in surprise, "Oh, what's wrong with you? Are you fighting with someone?"

Owen didn't speak, found a place to sit down, and ordered a glass of wine for each of them. Seeing that Owen was just drinking without saying a word, Xiao Ruohan couldn't help but said: "You are talking, did something happen? Hey, I Said that your injury...couldn’t be from fighting that child, right?”

He also met Xiao Ruohan a few times since Owen came back from teaching in the countryside, and he knew the most about what happened with Ruan Miaomiao. Xiao Ruohan had persuaded him to some extent, and he didn't agree with Owen's current behavior, let alone the maintenance of this relationship between him and Ruan Miaomiao. An ambiguous relationship.

Xiao Ruohan always talked about why Owen was so obsessed. Perhaps another way of saying obsessed in his opinion was moths to the flame.

But Owen didn't care about it, he just said with a wry smile, if a delusion can be realized, can it still be called a delusion?

"Ruohan, I asked you out today because I wanted to ask you something," Owen didn't answer Xiao Ruohan's question just now. He was in a mess right now and wanted to talk to someone. Except for this person, Owen couldn't find him. Can anyone have a similar experience to himself? Owen took a sip of wine and continued, "If that person came back to you and confessed to you, would you choose to be with him?"

Xiao Ruohan instantly widened his eyes in surprise and said, "You know everything?!"

"Know what?" Owen looked at him equally puzzled.

"Don't you know that I'm getting a divorce? Otherwise, why would you ask that?"

"Divorce?! You want a divorce?! Why? When did it happen?"

"What, so you didn't know, you scared me," Xiao Ruohan shook his head with a smile, and glanced at Owen, "I just said I haven't seen you for a while, how could you know."

Owen stared at him closely, and said solemnly: "Why do you suddenly want to divorce? Could it be... because of that person?"

"Yeah, just a while ago, he came back to me again. I thought that the relationship with him was over, so I didn't pay attention to him at first, but...he seemed to have changed a lot suddenly, like You said, he confessed to me and even begged me, Owen, you have seen him too, can you imagine that a person as proud as him would kneel down and beg for help?" Xiao Ruohan sighed and said while drinking , "I have known him for more than ten years, and it was the first time I saw such a fragile side of him. At that time, my heart felt like bleeding. This feeling was more painful than all the injuries he gave in the past."

"Just because of this, do you forgive him? Divorce for him, what about the child?" Owen really couldn't believe that Xiao Ruohan had really come to this point, this person was different from himself, although it was an unfortunate marriage, Xiao Ruohan Even if he could abandon his responsibilities as a husband, he was still a father after all, and this was a blood relationship that he could never get rid of.

"The child follows his mother. My wife may have thought of this day long ago. She only has this request, and I also think it is better for the child to follow her. Who made me a selfish and jerk father."

Xiao Ruohan smiled sourly. Although he didn't love that woman, there was no father in the world who didn't love his child. Owen could guess that he must be extremely uncomfortable and guilty.

"Ruohan, have you really thought it through? Is it worth doing this for that person? You're not afraid of him..."

"I'm afraid, I'm afraid, Owen, I know what you want to say," Xiao Ruohan interrupted Owen, and looked at him seriously, "His changes almost caught me off guard, I was very disturbed, I was afraid that one day he might... ...But at least I really can't let him go now, besides, we are no longer young, and this is probably the only time we can be impulsive, and I think he is the same, so I believe him, people always have to live in a positive way Go and see, don't you?"

Owen nodded, and said thoughtfully, "You're right, people always have to look at the bright side, because there are already enough regrets in life."

"Okay, don't keep talking about me," Xiao Ruohan stretched his waist and patted Owen's shoulder, "What happened between you two? How could it be so serious?"

Owen drank the wine in the glass, took out the cigarette case, lit a cigarette, and told Xiao Ruohan what happened recently.

After Xiao Ruohan listened, he smiled: "Actually, it's pretty good, isn't it? Your old lover is quite similar to me. Most of the divorce is because I can't forget you in my heart. If I were you, I would definitely choose to be with him. I really don't know what you are still hesitating about."

"Ruohan, don't you understand? I'm hesitant because I don't love him now," Owen put out the cigarette butt, took out another one and lit it, and took a few puffs before saying, "Yes, I can be with you He is together, but he can only be regarded as a relative, not a lover, is this fair to him?"

"Don't act like a hypocrite, after all, don't you just hate that child!" Xiao Ruohan gave him a blank look.

"..."

Seeing that Owen suddenly stopped talking and his face became ugly, Xiao Ruohan sighed, shook his head and held his shoulder: "Owen, people have to live a more practical life. After all, you haven't seen each other for more than ten years. Unlike me and That person has been entangled all the time, and you can get it back if the relationship fades, you are not without foundation, besides, you and him are both people who have lost each other, and they will cherish each other even more when they are together again."

"But Miaomiao..."

"Him? How about him? I'm still saying the same thing, does he love you? You won't be infected by his innocence, thinking that having sex a few times is love, right?" Xiao Ruohan frowned and stared at Owen's indecisive side face, with some hatred Iron and steel said, "Okay, just pretend that he loves you, and he will be angry because you didn't come home overnight, but the key is will he love you forever? How old are you, how old is he, and you are at his age Did you ever think about what will happen ten years from now? Even if you did, it’s just a delusion. His ten years have changed a lot, but you and Shen Lixin’s ten years may not be much different from now.”

"You can be impulsive one last time, can't I?" Owen trembled anxiously.

"You can, of course you can, but what is an impulse, it's a brief burst of emotion, and you're wasting time here trying to cool off, and obviously, you also know that your future with him is a joke."

Owen smiled desolately: "Can't you support me for a while, even if you put on a show..."

"Owen, I don't want to hurt you. There is a kind of cruelty called knowingly committing crimes. Do you have the heart to let me do this?"

"Yeah, I can't bear for you to make mistakes, just like you can't bear for me. When you get old, your heart becomes soft." Owen breathed a sigh of relief, and raised his glass to him, "Ruohan, thank you, I listen to you and He is reunited after a broken mirror, I am happy for you and wish you happiness in the future."

"Owen, you can be happy too, can't you?"

The two clinked glasses and drank, the wine that Owen took in suddenly tasted salty, Xiao Ruohan turned his head and couldn't bear to look at him, just took out the tissue in his trouser pocket under the table and stuffed it for him.

Yes, happiness, what a warm and sour word, happiness has always been the highest expression of love, there is no happiness at all without love.

Owen cried, not because he had to give up love, but because even with love, he still couldn't get happiness.

If there is no future with Ruan Miaomiao, then it is impossible for him and Shen Lixin to be together. Owen had already expressed his attitude to him last night, and now he is hesitant in every possible way, but he just wants to find a reason for himself not to let go.

But he still couldn't find it.

The two of them didn't say anything more after that, they just drank quietly, Xiao Ruohan answered the phone and came back, it was getting late, so the two started to clean up and walked out of the bar.

It was raining in the rainy sky, and across from the door of the bar, a man walked towards them holding an umbrella. Just like what Xiao Ruohan said, Owen also felt that this person had indeed changed a lot, and even looked at Xiao Ruohan with dissatisfaction in his eyes. Gentleness that matches the temperament.

After a simple farewell, the two left one after another. Owen stood there watching, looking at the half of the shoulder that was wet because of Xiao Ruohan, Owen suddenly felt a little envious.

Perhaps, this is the so-called happiness.

He was drenched in the light rain and walked back. No one got his shoulders wet for him, but he was soaked thinking about that person.

Maybe there will always be such a person who makes you walk alone in the rainy night, thinking that every little bit he gives is enough to review your whole life.

Will not go to force too much.

When he woke up the next day, the wound on Owen's forehead was inflamed, but it was not serious. After taking a few anti-inflammatory drugs and carefully disinfecting the wound in the mirror, Owen fiddled with his hair and found a white hair.

Owen plucked it out, and when he was combing his hair, he saw several more. At first he wanted to pluck it out, but he suddenly remembered what the old people said when he was a child. If you want to blame it, blame their family's poor genetics. Owen's father and grandfather started to see gray hair in their early forties, and their hair was all white when they were 50 years old.

I have less than ten years left to squander, and then I will become a real old man.

Although hair dyeing can easily solve this trivial problem, seeing his gray hair grow, Owen was somewhat shocked.

Because this also proves once again that he is indeed old.

"What do you mean, what do you mean we just leave it like this?"

The sky was still cloudy and rainy, Ruan Miaomiao's face was sullen, his tone was like a cracked brick wall, he was holding an umbrella, holding a bunch of medicines.

Owen finished his lecture and was about to go home. The car was parked on the opposite side of the street. He was standing at the school gate and was blocked. Ruan Miaomiao waited for him all afternoon.