cross me with love

Chapter 37

The cake is very sweet, but tasted in He Tangxi, it is a bit greasy and bitter.

He put down the fork after taking two bites. Tan Yuwei moved the cake and put it on the table. She looked at He Tangxi and asked, "Are you too tired?"

He Tangxi shook his head: "I'm just..." He opened his mouth, but he didn't know how to describe his feelings to Tan Yuwei, the dull pain hadn't been relieved yet, and the pain was beating with his heartbeat.

This day should have come a long time ago, when He Tangxi heard the news that Lin Jingyu was going to get engaged, He Tangxi knew that this day should come, such a painful day.

In addition to the pain, He Tangxi also felt a sense of relief in his heart.

That's good too, if you tell everything, he doesn't have to pretend, he doesn't have to watch Lin Jingyu's message word by word, he doesn't have to deliberately fall in love to hide his sexuality, and he doesn't have to act in front of others in the future. And Zhou Changyin had a good relationship for a hundred years.

But he was still in a panic, his heart seemed to be cut open with a knife, and blood was pouring down, the pain made his whole body tremble, even his breathing trembled.

Seeing He Tangxi like this, Tan Yuwei felt very uncomfortable. She stroked He Tangxi's hair, and then tried to pretend to be happy and changed the topic to break the heavy sadness atmosphere.

"Okay, let's not talk about this, let's not talk about the past," Tan Yuwei smiled at He Tangxi, her tone was as gentle as water, "You can rest in the hospital for the next two days to recuperate, and when your leg is almost healed, let's go together Going on vacation? A change of environment can make you feel better."

"How about going abroad? Find an island, let's lie on the beach and bask in the sun, drink beer and eat seafood at night." He Tangxi's smile became more and more stiff, and he almost couldn't hold it anymore. He remembered that he went with Lin Jingyu before Playing at the beach is also lying on the beach basking in the sun, drinking drinks and eating seafood at night.

The more he thought about it, the more his heart ached. Those psychological constructions were like a layer of paper, which was easily torn through, and the blood flowed out, which couldn't be stopped.

He Tangxi knew that he couldn't blame others for his pain, but only himself.

There is nothing wrong with Lin Jingyu not being gay, it is not wrong for him to get back together with Zhou Changyin, it is not wrong for him to point out everything to himself, everything is his wishful thinking, everything is his own fault, and no one else is to blame.

A deep sense of exhaustion and boredom surged in He Tangxi's heart. He felt that he was hypocritical, so fucking hypocritical. From the third year of junior high school to the present, not only did he not make any progress in so many years, but the more he lived, the more he lived. Now he has become It's cowardly and hypocritical, where is there any trace of childhood?

Thinking of when he was a child, He Tangxi began to feel sad again. No matter what he thought of in the past or now, there was Lin Jingyu everywhere. Now he told himself that everything would end and he wanted to let go, but could he really let go?

For him, Lin Jingyu was already a part of his life, and it had already grown in his body. If he really wanted to let go, he had to use a knife to scrape his bones forcefully, until he died of pain and peeled off a layer of skin. Maybe let it go a little bit.

what to doHe Tangxi asked himself helplessly, what should he do now that this is happening?

"Tangxi?" Tan Yuwei said for a while without seeing He Tangxi's response. She looked over and found that He Tangxi's eyes were empty and his eye circles were red. She could feel the deep sadness coming from him from such a distance.

Tan Yuwei's nose was sour, and her eye circles were also red.

He Tangxi came back to his senses, he twitched the corners of his mouth, and his smile was uglier than crying: "It's good, let's go to the island, find some time" Before he finished speaking, Tan Yuwei rushed over and hugged him .

He Tangxi froze for a moment, then slowly relaxed, he slowly raised his arms to hug Tan Yuwei back.

Tan Yuwei felt something icy and cool dripping on her neck, it was He Tangxi who was crying, Tan Yuwei didn't dare to speak, she just kept stroking his back to comfort him.

After venting, He Tangxi felt that the heavy depression in his heart had dissipated a little bit. He let go of Tan Yuwei, bowed his head and did not speak.

Tan Yuwei didn't say much, she took out a few tissues and handed them to He Tangxi, He Tangxi wiped away the remaining tears on her face, then raised her head and smiled at Tan Yuwei.

Tan Yuwei's heart became sore again, she quickly adjusted her expression, smiled and asked He Tangxi to rest well, sleep first, and wait until the next day to talk about anything.

He Tangxi nodded absently: "You should go back and rest quickly, it's too late."

Tan Yuwei sighed, got up and prepared to leave: "Then I'll come over tomorrow morning, and I'll bring you whatever you want to eat."

He Tangxi didn't answer, the moment Tan Yuwei was about to push the door to go out, He Tangxi whispered from behind.

"Vivi, I want to get out of here."

Tan Yuwei was taken aback: "Do you want to go out to relax? Let's wait for your legs" "No," He Tangxi's voice was very soft, but Tan Yuwei could hear the exhaustion and determination contained in it, "I want to live in another place."

Tan Yuwei didn't know whether He Tangxi's words were really thought up and made up his mind before he said them, or if he just said them in a moment of frustration. She didn't answer the words hastily, but turned her head and smiled at He Tangxi, and said, "Will you Think about it, let's talk about it tomorrow morning."

After a pause, he added another sentence: "If you really made up your mind, then" the night passed in a mess.

He Tangxi's legs hurt and his mind was chaotic, but he didn't know if his body's ability to bear it had reached a critical point or what, he closed his eyes and fell asleep immediately.

At this point, most people in the city have fallen asleep.

But Lin Jingyu didn't, he was very confused and just wanted to vent his emotions.

He drove around the whole city, and finally stopped at the downstairs of He Tangxi's house.

Lin Jingyu was sitting in the car, looking up at the dark windows of He Tangxi's house, holding a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

He bought the cigarettes at a convenience store just now. Lin Jingyu is a self-disciplined person. His living habits have always been good. He doesn’t smoke and occasionally drinks alcohol. But his partner is an out-and-out smoker. When Lin Jingyu asked, the partner only said that he smoked. It can relieve stress and make you feel comfortable.

Can you really feel comfortable?

Lin Jingyu lit a cigarette, put it to his lips and took a deep breath.

He was choked by the smoke that suddenly poured into his throat, and he coughed hard twice. The smoke was bitter, how could he be comfortable?

Lin Jingyu looked up, and he saw his red eyes from coughing in the rearview mirror of the car. Suddenly, he thought of He Tangxi a few hours ago.

His eyes were also red, redder than this, and there was still a layer of mist in them.

He hasn't seen He Tangxi cry for a long time.Lin Jingyu looked at the dark window again, he wanted to know if He Tangxi was sleeping at this time or was tossing and turning in torment just like him.

The car was full of bitter smoke, Lin Jingyu got out of the car, and walked to the nearby pool with the cigarette in his arms.

The night is dark, and the water is also dark, and nothing can be seen.

He remembered that He Tangxi was going to give him a gift, but before he could see what it was, He Tangxi threw it in.

When the smoke was burning to the end, Lin Jingyu went to the trash can and knocked out the sparks. He glanced at the trash can from the corner of his eye, and there was a boxy box lying on the top.

The pattern is complicated and the packaging is exquisite.

Suddenly, he picked up the gift box.

The next day, He Tangxi was woken up by the pain. When he moved his leg a little bit, he felt a sharp pain. The doctor came to make a rounds in the morning and said that the pain was the worst three days before the fracture. Do strenuous exercise, even if the movements are too big.

He Tangxi was spoiled and spoiled, how could he have suffered this kind of pain, his face turned pale, his eyes and nose were wrinkled together.

In the end, the doctor prescribed painkillers for him, and told him to take it when the pain was unbearable, and not to take it if he could endure it. He Tangxi immediately swallowed one.

When the pills started to work and the leg pain was relieved, Tan Yuwei came.

She was fully armed, wearing a big black mask, a mask, and a thermos bucket in her hand.After closing the door of the ward, she took off all the clothes.

"The big bone soup stewed for you, it's good for your bones to recover after eating." She opened the thermos, and the fresh fragrance of the bone soup wafted out, which made people move their index fingers.

But He Tangxi still had no appetite, he was still thinking about what he told Tan Yuwei last night.

In the past, He Tangxi never thought about what he would do in the future. Since college, he has always followed the route He Peizhuo gave him. He studied finance, went to practice, and finally joined a company. He lived his life day by day, but it was very uncomfortable. Happy, he sometimes feels that his whole being will be consumed by this hopeless life.

He wants to go out. On the one hand, he really wants to stay away from the sad place. This city has carried too many stories about him and Lin Jingyu, and their memories are everywhere. It might be better to change the environment, at least not to touch the scene. On the other hand, It's that he's had enough of doing things he doesn't want to do, and he wants to run away from his dad.

He Tangxi fell asleep and woke up with a hoarse voice, as if it had been sanded by sandpaper: "I have been very unhappy these years, doing things I don't like, and my life is messed up."

He Tangxi pulled his hair and smiled self-deprecatingly: "Sometimes I feel that I don't look like me anymore. Every day when I wake up, I spend time thinking about who I am, where I am going and what I am going to do today. I...I..."

"I'm very tired. In fact, I don't like going to work at all. I don't want to study finance, I don't care about the company, I don't want to drink and socialize. I have no interest in these things. These years have been torture for me."

"I really don't want to be here anymore."

Tan Yuwei exhaled, she sat on the edge of the bed and held He Tangxi's hand, and said, "Okay, if you don't want to stay with us, you can change places, and if you're not happy, you have to find a way to make yourself happy."

"Vivi..."

"Although you are my boss, I really regard you as a friend." Tan Yuwei was moved as she spoke, "I am not happy staying in the circle, but I like acting, and I can survive no matter what, people like this In life, there must be a few things you like to support you to go down, if this one doesn’t work, you can change to another one, for such a long life, you can’t always hang yourself on a tree, right?”

He Tangxi knew the meaning hidden in Tan Yuwei's words, his heart trembled, the words welled up in his throat but turned into a heavy sigh.

"So I want to do what I love and try to make myself happy again."

"Go abroad to learn painting again? I know you like painting."

He Tangxi nodded: "I want to sneak away, and I don't want anyone to know."

"Okay," Tan Yuwei said in a gentle tone, "You can rest assured that I will take care of it, and you can rest well."