[bright] time

Chapter 21 New Green

(light side)

Sitting under the leafy cherry tree in the hospital garden, looking at the envelope with the "suicide note" written on it.

It was handed to me by Mrs. Peony just now.

It must have been written for a while, right?Her strong, clean handwriting says it all.

What did you say that you didn't give me a last word, and you just like playing with me so much.

Sighing, he opened the envelope,

In black and white, I wrote such a passage with a brush,

"Thank u.

Thank you for every day I can play chess with you, thank you for every day with you, every day is very happy.

Farewell, Shinto boy. 』

The nose is sore, the heart is hot, and there is a feeling of relief. …Sensei Kuwahara is another person I want to call him a teacher, but he is stubborn and poisonous by nature, and never praises me.

My head was not so rigid that I had to hear these plain and clear thanks to know that the teacher valued me, but... I still felt comforted to hear him say that.

...Facing "lost" again,...it made me inevitably make a lot of associations.

I don't know what the guy was thinking when he left.

Stop making unnecessary associations, sit on a chair and look at the green leaves covering your head, as if saying that there is no need to be sad.

Changing my mood, I thought unkindly:

When did the old monster become so amiable?

The old guy who always picks three and picks four, is extremely stupid and makes repeated attacks, and beats my confidence, will thank me?

This letter might be a cover.Somewhere in the letter, there may be a few words that are purely fictitious.

Turning the paper around, looking back and forth, ... felt like a thunderbolt struck the top of my head.Answered my joke, I really saw a few rows of small characters at the end of the letter,

"Hee hee~ Is this what the kid wants to hear all the time?It was too late to hear the words from the mouth of the ghost.Before the old man died, he rewarded the boy with a good deed.

This old man who has been venomous all his life should be able to go to heaven for a stroll, right?

kid.If you haven't lived longer than your old body, don't let your old body come here.Kick you back. 』

Old monster... such a small character, read it with a magnifying glass?People with presbyopia still do such eye-damaging things.

Let's just say, the old monster's bitterness can't be changed until death.

Covering the letter on my face, I was a little awkward, but I was really touched in vain.It is probably more difficult to get the old man to praise me than to force him to have an operation.

...the words I've always wanted to hear?

A look that knows everything.

But teacher, you guessed wrong this time.

In fact, on the contrary, I want to say, I want to tell him this...

Never said or expressed thanks, never had a chance to say goodbye.

At this time, he suddenly felt a body temperature different from his own on the back of his hand, took off the letter on his face, sat up and turned his head to look, and found Taya sitting next to him.He held my hand, worried.

"When did you come? Is the game over?"

"Yeah." Taya nodded.

"Won?"

Slowly nodded again.

Not sure if it's the same for all or if I just haven't noticed.

Taya always closes her eyes habitually when she nods, and opens her eyes again the moment she raises her head. Like a well-designed humanoid doll, every movement is light and elegant.

look away,

"That's [-] wins. The mass media will be noisy for a while, right? It's better for you to go out less and take the tram less during this time."

"Yeah. I know." Out of the corner of his eye, Taya caught sight of Taya and closed his eyes again, as if it was really a habit.

"I'm younger than you." Taya suddenly said vaguely.

"Huh?...It's only been three months?"

"Three months is too young."

Unlike before, he always hated me saying that I was older than him.I actually mentioned it myself today.

"...Okay~. You are younger than me." What exactly do you want to say...

"And you are addicted to alcohol, overeating, like to eat meat, and like to eat strong flavors. This unhealthy eating habit will definitely make you short-lived."

"Hey, curse me?"

Regardless of my complaints, he continued,

"So I will definitely live longer than you....I will definitely not leave earlier than you, I will not leave you to go first, and I will not let you have the memory of "I am the only one left."

"...Taya."

Look at my pupils are so clear, reflecting my fear; there is no hesitation in the eyes, taking me out of the pain of the past.These eyes are so beautiful... like a lake reflecting the moonlight.

The water stored in the eyes, I don't know if it feels as cold as the lake water.

Caressing Taya's cheek, using the pulp of the thumb to draw on his lower eyelid, the slightly upturned corner of the eye,

"...It seems that there is no way to touch the pupils without closing the eyes."

She blinked reflexively, but didn't turn her face away,

"It hurts to touch."

"Hey~... I can't touch it. I don't know how many bacteria I have on my hands."

see it?Zuowei.

This guy sits across from me when I want to fight,

This guy sits next to me when I'm sad.

It was you who brought me Taya and Go,

Without them, I wouldn't be who I am now.

If possible, I still want to meet you, and I want to thank you well.

"Today you are dozens of times cuter than usual, so gentle. Why?" If it was normal, Taya would never let me get so close to him in broad daylight.

The reason was nothing more than that he was worried about me and wanted to comfort me.

But I was just curious, how red his cheeks would turn when he said such embarrassing words.So I asked knowingly.

But Taya may have seen that I have bad intentions, right?not talking.

I had to ask again: "If I was so depressed all day, wouldn't you look at me with this cute and gentle face all day? Huh?" The thief laughed twice.

Taya, who turned his face as fast as a book, glared at me: "Acting skills?"

"What do you think?" The corners of his mouth were raised on purpose, which looks treacherous enough.

"..., now it's acting." The expression was obviously very unhappy, "...you don't have to pretend to cheer up. It makes me feel very uncomfortable."

"Pretending? No way. The moment you held my hand, I was already much better. If you don't believe me, look at my face."

Taya looked into my eyes intently,

"...Mm." Anxin nodded.

Can you really see it?I'm just kidding...It seems that I can't pretend to be in front of this kid in the future.

"Letter?" Taya pointed to the paper in my hand.

"This? A suicide note." Show Taya the words on the envelope.

"But...it's not still in operation."

"Hmm. I couldn't help but read it first, and I'm curious what the teacher will tell me as his last words."

In fact, a few days ago, the teacher suddenly nodded and said that he was willing to undergo surgery.

I think this decision should be related to Mr. Ogata.

That day I drove Mrs. Peony back to the Chiba mansion to pick up things, and when I was taking her back to the hospital, I happened to see Mr. Ogata walking out of the ward.I ignored me when I greeted him, but when Mrs. Peony talked to him, he smiled coldly, "Thank me", leaving such a sentence and left with an unhappy face.

When I entered the ward, I saw Mr. Kuwahara smoke coming out of his seven orifices, holding a folded book in his hand,...Maybe it was a burst of adrenaline?Yesterday, he still looked bored.At this moment, he shouted angrily to Mrs. Peony to help him make an appointment for surgery, saying, "How can you follow that brat's wishes!"The old man will not die! "of.

I don't know what Mr. Ogata said, but in short, it is very effective.

It's just, wouldn't it be a problem to let a heart patient have such a big rage? ...It's really debatable, isn't it his original intention to kill people invisible?

However, there is no guarantee that you will survive if you have to undergo surgery. After all, the success rate is only [-]%.

The key to the success of the operation is whether the teacher's physical strength can last until the end. The teacher is very old and the situation is not very optimistic. It has been eight hours since the operation...

"Stop crying over there, brat! Ugly."

Ogata-sensei's voice came from the corridor leading to the courtyard.

Turning around to see him standing in front of the ashtray, lit a cigarette and lit it,

"Tsk, I'm the one who wants to cry. I didn't expect the old monster to be so hard-working, hmph."

Tae and I looked at each other.

The anger of the man in front of him was truly extraordinary.

Until just now, Mr. Ogata was standing beside Mrs. Peony, that is, outside the operating room.

Rather than saying that he cares about the patient's condition, it would be more appropriate to say that he wants to curse at the closest distance, right?Just now, when the nurse entered and left the operating room in a panic, she vaguely saw the corners of his mouth slightly raised.

This guy is really a demon....

I will come now, and I am still in such a bad mood. It seems that the operation was successful.

Taya raised her head and smiled at me, her eyes said it was great.

"Oh." Drawn by his smile, I also nodded happily.

"Stop giving me eyeballs, you two brats."

The cigarette box just flew over and hit my forehead with an "empty" sound.

I wanted to flash it, but that would only make Ogata-sensei even more angry.

If we don't let him extinguish the fire now, maybe he will come to my door and knock on the door at a critical moment at night. After losing Honinbo, it's almost two days and two days, it's disgusting.

The strangest thing is why does Taya know every time he comes to my house?

***

Turning over between half asleep and half awake, with one arm open, unable to catch the person who should be sleeping on the other side.He raised his head, squinted his eyes and looked in the darkness, but there was no one there.

"Aha……"

Turned dull head, scratched head, yawned, ...maybe go to toilet?secretly thinking.

Close your eyes, lie on the bed, and plan to wait while you sleep.The ticking sound of the alarm clock came from the bedside table. It was very harsh in the middle of the night, and the drowsy people were almost driven away.

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock

Is it more than [-] minutes? ...I found out that the person is not here until now.

Glancing at the alarm clock, it was past three o'clock.

Stretching out his hand, he explored the place where Tantaya had been lying just now, it was... icy.Has he been gone for so long?

Today I am very lucky that there is no damn disturbing spirit doing bad things, so I worked harder than usual.

Is it too much?

Feeling anxious, I jumped up, looked at the ground and tried to find the pants I had just thrown on the ground, but I couldn't find them.By the light outside the curtains, I saw that the clothes had been neatly folded and placed on the table.

Pick it up and put it on casually.

Opening the door, I thought of looking into the bathroom or toilet, but saw that the door to the balcony on the other side of the living room was open.

A cold wind blows in from outside, white translucent silk curtains flutter gently, Taya in water-blue pajamas sits by the door with her back facing the room, her straight and beautiful back raised high Yes, it seems to be looking at the sky.

Appreciate the moon?So interested?Is the moon particularly beautiful today?

I bent down and looked out the window. There were no stars, no clouds, and the dark sky looked particularly clean.A semicircular silver moon hung in the sky, very bright and beautiful, but at the same time a little lonely.

No matter how excited you are, you can't just sit by the door in a thin pajamas, right?Just as I was about to turn around and go back to the room to get a blanket to help him put on, a slight movement caught my eye.

... Taya lowered his head and wiped his cheeks and chin with the back of his hand, then straightened his back and raised his head again, continuing to look at the sky.Taking a closer look, the rhythm of his shoulders is different from before. Every breath is a deep breath, as if he is suppressing something gurgling out of his body.

The warm water drops fell on the palm of the hand, reflecting the moonlight and shining with silver light.

Looking at the tear lying on the palm of my hand, I think I was a little dumbfounded, tears can be so beautiful.

...Is that how the water mark was printed on the old newspaper that wrapped the broken glass?

I had realized that it was tears, but Taya always acted very strong, calm, and calm... making it difficult for me to equate that tear with him.

It wasn't until now that Taya really felt that she was crying.

Surprised why I squatted next to him, Taya stared at me with round eyes.With long eyelashes blinking, crystal clear teardrops slid down her cheeks, dripped down her pointed chin, and dripped onto the skirt of her clothes.The tears were so sharp, it was like a knife was cut in my heart.

"...Are you always secretly crying with your back to me?" I felt a little angry,...for my sense of powerlessness.

Taya quickly turned around and wiped away the two lines of tears on her face with her sleeves.

With his back to me, he sat upright and remained silent.Apparently the tears didn't make him look weak.

The unstoppable tears, the awe-inspiring posture, and the two extremes that are contradictory but not in conflict make Taya look beautiful and attractive.

"You're not going to tell me it's not tears now, are you?"

Going around Taya's back, he stretched out his hand to wipe his cheeks, the tears that he thought had stopped dripped down again, one by one flowing down his fingers to the ground.

Gently turn Taya's body so that he faces me.But he refused to let me do what I wanted, and turned his back on me with force,

"Tissue."

I had no choice but to take two from the tissue box on the table and hand them to him.

Watching his back, watching him wipe his tears.

It's really uncomfortable, it's so uncomfortable not to be relied on.Seeing the person I like so sad, the dilemma of trying to comfort him but being rejected is actually very hurt, and at the same time I resent myself for not being able to comfort him.

Wiping away her tears, she turned around and raised her head to face the sky as if nothing had happened.

Only then did I know that I raised my head not because I wanted to see the sky, but because I didn't want tears to fall.Red eye frames, slightly swollen lower eyelids, I have never seen such an expression, a very cute face.

"...Why are you crying?...For whom?" Who made you so sad and caused you to shed so many tears.

With a voice stuck in the nasal cavity,

"I don't remember ever shedding tears for anyone other than you."

I thought that I would feel a little bit happy to monopolize his tears, because it is really beautiful.

Who knows nothing at all.

...It turns out that I am so damned, I made Taya, who was always unwilling to show weakness, even if it was just me, shed tears over and over again.

"What did I do to make you sad?"

If an apology can make Taya stop crying immediately, I will say it a hundred times, but based on past experience, apologizing without knowing the reason will only annoy him.

"It's not you, it's me...I did things that made you sad,... said things that made you sad."

"Um?"

I often don't quite understand what Taya is saying.Our brains are wired completely differently.Taya's thinking is very delicate, to the point of being a little nervous; my head is too rough, either cutting corners or installing some wrong parts.Often ignore the details that should be concerned, and pay attention to the critical points that no one will care about.

Did I miss something this time? ...Why did Taya shed so many tears.

"I want to go back to the past and fix a lot of things. ... The first time I played chess with you, I should have been more friendly. You are a beginner, so of course you can't play well, so I shouldn't despise you.

You don't play chess with me, not because you look down on the person who lost to you, but because you want to learn and use your own strength to play chess with me. I don't know anything, I just have a hot head.

You said you wanted to give up Go because Sai's departure was a big blow, but I blame you and I can't give you any comfort.I never thought about how much determination you made when you came back to me and said you wanted to continue playing chess. I just took it for granted.

During the first Beidou Cup, your anger, the mood when you insisted on playing against Gao Yongxia, the regret after losing chess... I can't understand it, and I keep putting pressure on you.

So far... what kind of mood do you use to spend every full moon, every year on May [-]th... I am also completely ignorant, I can only stand on the sidelines, and I can't help you.... "

As I said that, I lowered my head, and a teardrop from a wafer dripped onto my hand in slow motion and spread out.

It turned out that Taya cared about the past.

...I kept talking about Zuowei's affairs and my own feelings.Just like a shipwreck floating on the vast sea, seeing a driftwood, I hugged and grabbed it tightly, pressing him down, desperately wanting to be saved, but I didn't expect Taya who opened his arms to bear my pain I am also scarred.

Knowing that Zuo Wei and I are not the same person must have hit him hard.

Facing what happened to Zuo Wei, I couldn't forgive myself and blamed myself.

I didn't expect these words to be so heavy on Taya's heart, making him feel guilty for not being able to become my strength "at that time".

Touching Taya's head,

"Idiot, who said you didn't help me?"

He looked up at me as if asking me when.

"You who have been walking on the road of Go without hesitation have always made me very envious. I felt that I was bad. Once upon a time, I started to have the idea of ​​wanting to be like you, surpassing you, and wanting you to face me.

Sometimes I think, if you were too kind at that time, I might not want to chase you so much, right?

You were the first one to find out that there was another person living in my Go game, didn't you say so during the Lion Cup? ...you have no idea how relieved I was then.

You always play chess with me, and when you play chess with me, you always have a contented expression. After Zuo Wei left, you are the one who agrees with my Go game. Zuo Wei praised you very much, so I can be recognized by you. feel happy.

And, when I lost to Yongxia for the first time, you told me that it was not over, right?

In the email, he told me that the joy of playing chess is the greatest gain compared to leaving a chess record and leaving a reputation.

On the hillside, tell me that one or two quarrels will not make the good memories disappear. You are the one who forgave me a long time ago, right?There are many, many others.And those words are all precious to me.

...Recently, you said that you would help me to bear half of the crime, ... I really lost to you, Taya, why do you always say things that hit my heart directly? "

If Taya hadn't fallen in love with me, wouldn't she be in the current mood?

Really clueless, he used his current mood to look at his past self.So I felt that I was not good at that time, and I wanted to go back to the past, imagine that I hugged and patted my back to comfort me that day, and gave me the love that could not exist at that time.

So serious, serious enough to be silly, very cute.How can I not love him like this?

"It's because I didn't tell you Zuo's matter, it's only natural for you to misunderstand and react.

Seriously, you are really amazing. I said so many things that disgusted you, and I did so many things that disgusted you. Fortunately, you are still willing to play chess with me regardless of the past. "

"...I like your Go game." The corners of his mouth curled up, and he gave a wry smile, "...you are not simple either. Even though I said so many relentless words, I couldn't scare you away, but kept chasing you."

Emotions seem to calm down a lot.

"Of course it's because I want to play chess with you, I want to be an opponent who can play against you... and then...

No matter what, I want you to look at me. "

Staring at me suspiciously,

"...Want me...to see you?"

"...Can't believe it? I didn't understand Go at all at the time, and I didn't want to be a chess player. It is reasonable to say that if you lose, you lose, but it's not a big deal.

And this kind of me actually hope that a person who has only met a few times will face up to my existence?

Hey~ Maybe I was not normal from then on? ...Perhaps I was attracted to you at that time, ... I wanted to monopolize your eyes at that time.

Scary, right? "

When I discovered this fact, I really wondered if I was a pervert... I'm only in elementary school, me.

Taya closed her eyes, shook her head,

"... Hearing you say that... I'm a little happy." With a gentle smile, the tears finally stopped.

"...Great, the weather cleared up."

I approached Taya's face and kissed his eyes, the eyes were a bit salty with tears, the eyelashes closed reflexively passed my lips, a very subtle touch, itchy.

"It's the first time I see you shed so many tears outside of sex, I'm really anxious to death. Uh──It hurts..."

Taya's elbow mercilessly pushed against my chest, and gave me a blank look.super painful...

I really don't understand him, it doesn't matter what it is, and he is so innocent, when he talks about that aspect, this guy's face turns red like a tomato, and he really wants to take a bite.

He moved his position and wrapped Taya from behind, stretched his neck and kissed his flushed cheek, "Is it cold?"

"No." Shaking his head, he lay down with his back straight against my chest just now.

This is... the most advanced way of acting like a baby? ...did I say something about melting an iceberg?

***

The deeper the night, the heavier the cold air. It is said that the temperature is actually a little low at this time of spring.But it's rare that Taya is in such a good mood, she came to cling to me by herself.I didn't want the time to end so quickly, so I went back to the room and took a blanket, warmed up a cup of milk, and the two of them wrapped in the blanket and took turns drinking, watching the moon and chatting.

From Mr. Taya’s transfer to Korea next month, to Nase’s recent advertisement for a small car, to my grandfather who will participate in a local chess game next week and asked me to help him with special training, to the recent frequent break-ins in his yard Into the matter of a kitten waiting for him to feed.

Thinking about it, it seems that we haven't been so leisurely for a long time. There are too many serious things happening in this period.

Looking at the moon, Taya said leisurely,

"I really want to see sai with my own eyes... like the moon?"

"Well, I think it's very similar....It's a pity that there is no picture of that guy." After drinking the last sip of milk, he put it back on the table.

"Didn't you take a picture?"

"Hey~, even if the ghost is photographed, it won't be able to be photographed, right?

That guy is much different from our general impression of ghosts. He is very energetic and has no evil intentions. I often forget that he is a ghost.But when I looked in the mirror, saw the reflection of the water on the ground, and got the developed photo, I thought... ah, this guy really is a ghost.Ah, how about I draw it for you? "

"Can you draw?"

"Of course, drawing is not easy, leave it to me!" He patted his chest.

He took a pen and a piece of waste paper from the table, and laid them on the glass window to draw strokes. Taya looked at me expectantly, as if he was really curious about what Zuowei looked like.

"First of all, the eyes that are always smiling, the mouth that smiles happily, the ears with earrings, the long hair, the tall black hat, the white safari..."

"Huh?" Taya suddenly tilted her head.

"how?"

"nothing…."

I continued to draw,

"...Karii should look like this, right?...And then there is the fan that he has been holding in his hand all the time....Well, it's almost like this. Let me show you!" Handing the completed self-confidence to Taya.

Happily taking the paper in my hand, Taya looked at it and suddenly said nothing,

"...Sai looks like... Mr. Kurata?"

"ㄟ!? How is that possible!? Sato is so beautiful, and she is thin anyway, how can she look like Kurata-san!?"

"But your paintings are like this! The face is round and big, and the body is so fat!"

Strange, the essence has been drawn, why is it so ugly?Scratched his head.

"... But how can the mouth and eyes be squeezed in if the face is not painted so big? ... And the hunting clothes are all so thick, right? I can't help it."

"..." He frowned and bit his lower lip, glanced at the painting on his hand, and then at me, "...Why is it Kai?"

"Why? Saito was a noble in the Heian period."

"I know, but..., shouldn't sai wear twelve singles?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? Zuo is not a woman, why would you wear that?"

"But you said he was beautiful, and you said he had long hair?"

"I compliment you on your beauty too. Isn't Gang's hair long too?"

"But isn't sai a girl's name? 'Sayi'! It's the same as your niece!"

The more you speak, the angrier you get.

"Huh?...Ah, the way of reading is the same, but Zuo is a man."

As he spoke, he took his hand and wrote the word "Zuo Wei" on the palm of his hand with his fingers, "Write it like this."

Just staring at the empty palm for a long time, he finally breathed a sigh of relief and smiled helplessly.

Looking at his series of inexplicable actions.Oh...I see.

"I said, Teacher Xiaoliang, you thought Zuo Wei was a girl, so you drank a big bucket of vinegar, right?"

"...No." He pretended to be calm.

"Huh~?"

"...It was there at the beginning. After realizing that the meaning of Zuowei to you is not so simple, it is gone."

"Have you really been jealous of him? Please, I like Zuowei, but not for you. Stop making these associations that make my goosebumps fall all over the floor....Wow, my God, Guang Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt."

"It's because you spoke too ambiguously and didn't speak clearly."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I can't talk like that."

"Forget it. Anyway, Grandpa Heihachi told you that you were in love, saying that you can't speak, so it's hard to forgive you."

"ㄟ? When did you secretly meet my grandfather again? Why haven't I heard of it? Could it be that my grandfather was also bribed by you?"

"Oh~ the sky is gradually turning white, it looks like it's almost dawn. Go to bed." Ignoring my questioning, I lifted the blanket and escaped from my arms.

"Hey, change the subject? Don't walk away by yourself!"

After closing the floor-to-ceiling windows, he went back to the room and found that Taya had closed his eyes, rolled up the quilt and fell asleep peacefully.On this day, we slept in until one or two in the afternoon, and it was nice not to have work today.Turning day and night upside down is really fatal.