[Bottle Evil Doujin] Generation Gap

Chapter 4 Generation Gap Series Short Chapter 4 "Fattening Plan of Poor Oil Bottle"

"Brother! It's time to eat!" I shoveled out the stir-fried vegetables in the pot, knocked on the side of the pot, and turned off the induction cooker.

The biggest problem in a bachelor's life is eating. You can't order takeaway every day. My mother often calls me to ask me to go home for dinner, but as soon as I get home, she grabs me to read about my marriage. Not going back.

I once tried to ask Wang Meng to cook for me, but Wang Meng’s cooking was too bad. I asked him to cook twice and poured the food on his head and told him to get out. I just got an induction cooker for myself saute.

As for Boyouping, I really can't imagine him cooking in an apron, so he never showed his skills. Considering that he has been working underground and eating mostly canned compressed biscuits, he probably can't cook. Lord of rice.

One of the biggest advantages of his temperament is that no matter what I make, he can eat it with a blank face, as much as he is given, and his stomach does not seem to have an accurate capacity.

As a middle-aged man in his prime, my appetite should be relatively large, but due to some reasons of my own death, my body looks healthy on the outside, but the inside has been completely ruined up.

I can't eat any meat, and I can't eat spicy oil. For the sake of my body, it's even more vegetarian than what monks eat, and the birds are fading out of my mouth.However, the human body can easily adapt to certain laws. After I have been a vegetarian for a long time, I don’t really want to eat meat, and the smell is a bit disgusting.

Thanks to being a vegetarian, there is almost no chance of me gaining weight in middle age. I can't store a lot of meat on my body, and I maintain a perfect figure. I look thin when I wear clothes, and there is no meat when I take off my clothes.

But since Boyouping came, I will also buy some meat and fry some meat dishes for him to eat. It’s not easy to let him eat vegetarian food with me. He must have never eaten a few meals in the wind and rain all these years. Full of food, finally settled down and followed me, I can't even eat meat.

After I put all the dishes on the table, before Boyouping came, I yelled again: "Brother! Have you eaten? What are you doing?"

The sound of the oil bottle came from the door, accompanied by the sound of jingling. I walked over and saw that he was repairing the chair.That chair is a bit old, and it was left there when I opened the shop. Yesterday, I almost broke a leg when I was sitting on it. Poker said he would fix it for me, but it was actually repaired.

It was a bit hot in the room with the heating on, so he took off his shirt and only wore a racer vest to work. He kept his figure very well. Although he looked thin, he still had biceps and abdominal muscles. There is no piece of waste meat up and down, and the lines are very beautiful, rising and falling with his nail-knocking movements.

I looked at him and then at myself, and found that we were almost skinny when we put on our clothes, and the gap after taking them off was even bigger than the generation gap between us. A very dark thought: What would it be like if Poker got fat from eating?

If he eats fat, will his skills still be the same?Will the fingers become thick?Will the unicorn tattoo on his body make him fat?Will the eight-pack abs unify all corners of the world?

With this thought in mind, I filled him with a bowl full of rice, and desperately put vegetables into his bowl: "Come on, little brother, eat more, it's cold now, you need to put on more fat to survive the winter!"

Poker-face has a bad problem with eating. He only eats rice when he picks up the bowl and doesn't add vegetables. If you don't give him vegetables, he can eat a meal without eating a bite.In order to give him a balanced nutrition, I had no choice but to add vegetables to him every meal, and put him in a bowl when I found an opportunity.

I cooked three dishes today, one vegetarian and two meaty. Except for the vegetarian one, I ate half of it, and I put the rest in the hands of Poker Bottle. He didn't refuse, and he ate twice as much as usual.

After eating, I pulled him to sit and watch TV together. I took a sneak peek at his stomach, and it didn’t seem to be protruding. God is really unfair. When I was black and blind, he let me eat junk food. If I don't grow fat, I feel like vomiting blood when I exercise, and when I stop, I feel that the fat is piled up layer by layer.

It stands to reason that a person like Pokerfinger who exercises a lot should gain weight quickly as soon as he stops exercising. He really can't eat during this period of time. Why doesn't he gain any muscle and his muscles are still perfect? .

I think this probably has something to do with the physique of the Zhang family. After all, he has been in this shape for so many years, and his muscle cells have formed a memory. It should not be so easy to change. Of course, it may be that he does not eat enough calories. After all In order to take care of my own stomach, my meals are made with less oil and less salt.

I had the idea of ​​a prank, I wanted to feed Poker Bottle into a fat man, of course not Fatty Wang's size, that is too anti-human.I just want to see my little brother look a little fatter, and then see what kind of expression he will have when he finds out that he is fat.

Or people like me can't be idle, and want to be a monster when I'm free, and I can't stop at the beginning, just like eating Xuanmai.

I'll do it right away, but I don't know much about the types of snacks now, so I thought about sneaking upstairs and called Su Wan, asking him to buy a box of high-calorie snacks and send them to me.

Su Wan immediately asked: "Brother, what brand of snacks do you want? Which country? Chinese, Japanese, Korean, American, or Thai? Sweet or salty? Meat or vegetarian? Spicy or numb? Fresh Or frozen?"

"...You can buy the one with high calories." I rubbed my temples, how could I know this mess, and I don't eat snacks. There are so many kinds of snacks now?When I was young, there seemed to be only a few types, and these young people really became more and more delicate as they lived.

Su Wan said: "Brother, you have to give me the money first. You haven't reimbursed me for the equipment last time. You know that my master never made money when he opened a glasses shop. He squeezed me every day. Now I have a total of extra money on my body." It’s not enough to buy a pack of spicy strips…”

I chuckled: "It's no wonder that the glasses shop of the black blind man didn't close down. The boss is blind, who would dare to wear his glasses? I'll give your master a suggestion, let him change his career. It's not good to get a massage for a blind person. If it’s really impossible, let him play Qu’er at the door with his erhu, and put a broken bowl in front of him, no matter what, he can support himself, right?”

Su Wan said timidly, "Master plays the violin."

I said let him do whatever he wants, why not do better than now, let Xiuxiu follow behind her butt to ask for rent every day, what a shame.

Su Wan didn't continue this topic with me, probably because the blind man was nearby, and he was afraid that he would beat him to death if he spoke ill of him, so he asked again: "Senior brother, can I ask you a question? I asked the master but he didn't answer I."

"ask."

"Do you think Big Brother Zhang is the best, or my master? Li Cu said that Big Brother Zhang is very skilled, but I haven't seen it before."

I thought for a while and said, "Your master once said that he could break my head with one kick, and your big brother Zhang can knock my head off with one kick. Which of them do you think is better?"

Su Wan suddenly realized: "Oh! I understand! So brother, you are the weakest!"

I was silent for a while, then hehe said: "With my current skill, I can kick your head off with three kicks, do you want to try your senior brother and my skill?"

"Drip-drip-drip-"

I said in my heart that you little bastard is going to die every day, and I will beat you up one day. Is it my fault that I can’t compare with those two? It must be worse than the two of them.

I felt that just eating snacks might not be able to achieve my goal, so I called the fat man again and asked him how many meals a day he ate. The fat man was so busy there, I don’t know why, he said in a loud voice: "What are you talking about? How many meals do you eat? Looking at my body shape, Fat Lord, you should know, no more, no less, six meals a day, why? You also envy Fat Lord's plump and fat body, and want to change from bean sprouts?"

I poohed his face, said that I didn't want to rub a pile of fat in the shower, and asked him to come to my place for dinner when he was free.

With the reference, my fattening plan for Poker-Face kicked off like this. I fed him six meals a day, and each meal was full of fish and meat. The standard meal comes with three dishes, but Poker-Bottle didn’t seem to notice it either. What's wrong, I still chew slowly, and I can eat as much as I give.

In order to ensure that he can gain weight, I dragged him to watch TV with me every time after eating, and did not let him do any actions that can consume calories, and even canceled walking after meals.

While watching TV, I would unpack the snacks that Su Wan bought for him. Each of them has thousands of calories. It further strengthened my idea of ​​going to Beijing to chop him up when I have time.

In order to have enough calories, Su Wan bought almost all sweets, and I also ate one or two of some that tasted really good, otherwise Boyoupin would be suspicious, why I didn't eat them all.

"Brother, kiwi." I cut three kiwis, put them on a plate, inserted them with a toothpick, and handed them to Poker Bottle, who was watching a movie. He likes to eat kiwis, so I bought him two boxes. He eats too much fruit. Same meat.

He was still holding the chocolate cheese roll I gave him, and he was eating slowly, I was suddenly a little worried, it was oily and sweet, don't look back, he didn't get fat, but he got cholesterol and diabetes, at his age Yes, it is not easy to not get the top three.

Then I thought about the Zhang family's iron-clad physical fitness and training intensity. Not to mention that all poisons are invulnerable, they should not suffer from the diseases of these ordinary people. I remembered the corpses I saw in the ancient building of the Zhang family. Seriously, it was caused by practicing bone shrinking skills since childhood.

Poker-Face doesn't seem to be a big problem now, will he take an X-ray and find that all the bones in his body have grown into fishbone?Can I just hang up and sleep in the future?That would be too pitiful.

Speaking of bone shrinking skills, if Boyouping really eats fat and then shrinks his bones, will the fat be layered like Michelin?After imagining what Pokerfing looked like, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Poker bottle bit a kiwi in his mouth and turned to look at me, asking me why I laughed suddenly, I faltered and said: "The movie is quite funny..."

Poker-face was noncommittal, I noticed on the TV screen that the hero and heroine were parting from life and death, crying on the blue bridge, and I felt embarrassed.

During my planning period, there was a small change, which was the problem of cooking. I don’t like cooking. Three meals a day is already very difficult. After cooking six meals a day, my throat and nose are smoked by oil, and I have a nosebleed. Can spray three feet away.Moreover, Boyouping eats very slowly, and we have to eat more than [-] mouthfuls of rice. Although the two of us have nothing to do this day, we can't just cook and eat.

It just so happened that some of my buddies came back at this time. Their hometown is Chongqing, and they brought me a lot of authentic Chongqing hot pot ingredients.I used to love it, but now I can't eat it anymore, but I can't eat stuffy oil bottles, so I happily bought a mandarin duck hot pot immediately. It's cold, and hot pot is the best.

Eating hot pot is very easy. There are ready-made ingredients in the supermarket, and you can just take it apart after you buy it. At most, you can chop vegetables.The mandarin duck pot is half clear water and half spicy, and the vegetables are cooked while the meat is cooked. Starch foods are very easy to grow meat. In addition to the small fat beef, I also bought a lot of sausages, fish balls, and crab sticks for Boyouping.

I eat hot pot with Boyouping every day, and I eat hot pot every day. My small shop smells like hot pot. A few people who smell it think I am a hot pot restaurant.

"Wu Xie." Poker Ping finished eating the last piece of meat in his bowl, and opened his mouth.

I was busy rinsing his hands and cutting the fat beef for him, when he called me, I asked, "What's the matter, brother?"

"tomorrow."

"tomorrow?"

"I want to drink porridge."

Poker-Face has never made any request for food. It was rare for him to ask me to satisfy him. I immediately patted my chest and said that I will make porridge for him tomorrow. Sweet milk porridge is quite good, and a bowl is worth several hundred calories. .

Before going to bed, I usually give Poker Ping a glass of full-time sweetened milk, and found Poker Ping sitting on the sofa holding a small mirror, grinning as if he was looking at his own teeth.

"Brother, what are you looking at?" I put the milk on the table and asked curiously, I rarely watch him look in the mirror, it's quite fresh.

Poker Bottle shook his head, put the mirror on the table: "It's nothing."

A flash of inspiration flashed in my mind: "Brother, you...couldn't be a toothache?!"

"..."

I held up the wolf tooth flashlight, pinched Poker Fing's face and made him open his mouth wide to look into his mouth, and found that his right lower row of teeth finally grew a wisdom tooth, and it had grown out of the gum meat, but the position was very close It's not good, it's long and crooked, and it's easy to get angry.

For example, now, his entire gums are red and swollen Lao Gao Lao Gao, and there are still a few places with festering. I realize that he may have been in this situation for a long time. [-]% of it is because of my sweet hot pot. No wonder I opened my mouth today. He said he wanted to eat porridge, but it turned out that his teeth were broken.

I withdrew my hand embarrassingly, and asked him: "Little brother, how long have you had this tooth?"

Poker-Face thought for a while: "The teeth have already grown out, and they are only swollen in the past few days."

Boyouping's wisdom teeth used to compress biscuits and clear soup with little water every day, so there was no chance to play it. Now the big fish and big meat hot pot desserts immediately make trouble.I didn't pay attention to it a few days ago, but now I saw that the right side of Poker Fing's face was swollen a little, but it was not obvious that it was covered by his hair, so I didn't notice it.

He took Boyouping to the hospital for a check-up. His wisdom teeth had to be pulled out, and three of his teeth were damaged by moths and needed to be repaired. But we couldn’t do it right away. We had to wait until the swelling subsided, so he took some anti-inflammatory drugs and went back to eat. .The doctor told me not to eat a lot of sweet and spicy food. Eat light food and drink some porridge these days. The teeth will not regenerate. If you don’t take good care of them now, it will be miserable when you get older.

I am very guilty, Poker-Face has lived to a long time ago, and his teeth are still well protected. Who would want to feed me a tooth that breaks down after living here for a few days? If he knows that I am so desperately fed What is his original intention for eating? It is estimated that he will kick all my teeth out.

And I found that I fed him so much fish and meat for so long, even I gained a catty or two of meat, but he lost a little weight. I really don't know what kind of structure he is. I can't understand it. It's logical.

I only found out after asking him on the sidelines that he had diarrhea in addition to toothache these days, because I fed him too much and he had gastroenteritis.Porky Bottle has been moving underground, full and hungry and eating lightly, how can he bear my tossing like this.

So after coming out of the stomatology department, he was directly transferred to the gastroenterology department. After the doctor's examination, he scolded him, saying that young people don't take good care of their bodies.

I realized that I had done a stupid thing again, and it was fine for me to kill myself, but I also put on the bottle of oil and died together. There is no one in the world who can make this master torment like this.Under the double blow, I gave up that ridiculous plan, wishing I could whip myself out.

"I'm sorry, little brother, I didn't know that you have mouth ulcers and gastroenteritis, and you still take you to eat hot pot every day. But you too, if you can't eat it, just tell me, why force it down." I broke it While Nian was taking out the porridge from the pot, he accidentally filled a big bowl for him, and quickly changed to a smaller one.

"...you did it." Poker Ping hesitated for a while before opening his mouth, but he only said three words. I think he has become more and more bored these days, and he doesn't talk much. I don't know if it's cold. The cork is frozen.

"What I cook can't be so delicious. Are you afraid of wasting it? Don't worry, I'm not as good as before. I have money. It's okay to eat a bowl and throw a bowl away. Next time I will make it for you If there are too many, just tell me directly, don't feel embarrassed."

After I said this, Poker Fase didn't seem to plan to speak anymore, he gave me a meaningful glance, I passed the porridge to him, and after he finished drinking, he said: "You are the same as ten years ago, you haven't changed at all. "

I froze for a moment, and thought, isn’t this a curse? I couldn’t bear to look back on the idiot I was ten years ago. It would be too pitiful if I remained the same after so much trouble, so I reflexively said, “No way, I’m old. It's a lot."

Poker bottle seemed to say something in foreign language, I didn't catch it, it didn't seem to be a good word, but his expression was still calm, I think it's just that I heard it wrong...?

The taste of Boyouping is actually very light, and the porridge and side dishes are very satisfying. I packed all the snacks and threw them to Wang Meng. By the way, I deducted three months of his salary. There is no reason, I just want to deduct.

After eating like this for a week, his oral ulcers finally disappeared. The fat man got the news from somewhere, and he flew over from Beijing, saying that he would accompany his younger brother to extract his teeth.

When Poker Bottle went in to pull out his teeth, the fat man and I sat outside and waited. The fat man put his arms around me and said, "Okay, brother, you can take care of your illness. Tell me, what else can you do? Do you raise cactus?" They all have to die of lack of water? If you don’t know how to raise them, then let my little brother be there, and I’ll be fine when I raise them.”

"You don't have to be talkative. You don't understand calcium deficiency when you are old. It's normal for your teeth to be broken. Don't say it like I did it on purpose." I just want to take good care of my little brother so much, so I feed him a little more, this is a bad thing with good intentions!"

"Come on, you and I don't know yet, maybe what's going on in your head, I heard the black blind man say that you bought a bunch of high-calorie snacks for my little brother. It's not Comrade Xiao Wu, I want to criticize you seriously , you also know that my brother is a lot of age. When you are old, you can't eat those things, you have to eat light. I know you want to make up for the lack of my childhood, but you have to think about what my brother was when he was young In his era, white rabbits were all luxury goods..."

While pulling the skin, Poker Ping had finished extracting his tooth, the doctor came out after him and asked, "Do you still want the extracted tooth?"

The fat man hurriedly shouted: "Yes! Yes! Where is it?"

Then he skipped over and picked up the wisdom tooth of Poker Bottle from the small tray in the doctor's hand. Not disliking the fact that it was still stained with blood, he took a small glass bottle from his pocket and put it in his mouth. Put it in, and wiped it on the sleeve disgustingly.

I asked him: "Why do you want this, just throw it away."

The fat man rolled his eyes at me: "What do you know, these are not ordinary teeth, these are my brother's teeth! Do you understand?"

Poker bottle was still biting cotton in his mouth to stop the bleeding, I quickly handed him a tissue to wipe his mouth, thinking that the bleeding was too wasteful, so I casually replied to the fat man, "I don't understand, no matter how it is my brother's teeth, no It’s just a tooth, it’s not gold.”

The fat man hated iron for being weak, put the little bottle in his pocket like a treasure, and taught me: "Why don't you say that you are low-minded, gold teeth are nothing, I don't even want to give it to the fat man. Think about it, We ordinary people have a wisdom tooth that grows out at most a few decades, but this little brother may be older than both of us combined in age. This is not an ordinary wisdom tooth, it is a wisdom tooth with age And if you think about it, the little brother's blood can make the zongzi kneel, what kind of effect are the teeth? When I get home tomorrow, I will find someone to inlay and drill a hole for me, and hang him around my neck. In the future, we will fight to see who the hell dares to provoke Fat Master."

What he said made sense, but I was speechless. I said to myself, what do you like? It’s just a tooth that makes this virtue. You should have known that he had this habit. The one I cut for Pokerfing I kept all my fingernails and my hair, and packed them all up and sent them to him.

It cost me more than 1000 to pull out Pokerfinger’s tooth. The material for the filling is probably not as big as a grain of rice, and it cost me more than 8000. When I said it was an imported material, I thought it was “imported”, but In the hands of our brothers and others, we have to give as much money as we want.

I tossed the credit card and regretted it, I did it so badly, the money flowed out, no, I have to deduct Wangmeng's salary when I go back, it won't work for three months.

After the tooth was pulled out, the fat man complained that he was hungry, so he dragged the two of us to the building outside the building. In the end, my brother and I each had a bowl of white porridge. Watching him feasting on fish and meat, he was not afraid to give himself up. Choked to death.

I didn't think it was a skill for a fat person to eat before, but after experiencing it, I realized that it is not easy to eat so much and convert it all into fat. This requires a strong stomach and digestive system.

I patted the fat man's shoulder with emotion. The fat man didn't know why, so he patted me with the greasy hand that pinched the drumstick.

It is a blessing to be able to eat.