bitter fireworks

Chapter 15

Say goodbye to Brother Li, say goodbye to colleagues, say goodbye to the first company I worked for, and say goodbye to Guangzhou.I feel a little lost, a loss I've never experienced before, I don't know if it's because I'm sorry for Brother Li, or because the part-time job didn't work out.Before leaving, I still gave Brother Li a tight bear hug. His eyes were red, and he was very reluctant to part with him, but there was nothing he could do.He also stuffed me with a letter, and I clutched the letter tightly, but couldn't say anything.Later, when I opened that letter, it made me burst into tears, and I couldn’t let it go for a long time. I probably still remember the letter like this:

always indulging in the same picture

always wandering in the original scenery

I always like to abuse my heart

always laments the sorrow of the future

just no one wrote it

no one understands

empty soul

God seems to be unable to ferry

dense beard

Mocking the vicissitudes of the years

Passers-by

buried the sadness of reality

alone night

sea ​​alone

One man's world

one's feelings

what is adorning my dream

shaking his head

I really don't know

Maybe I'm the creator's omission

Big crowd

A drop in the ocean

I'm just morning dew

Unable to withstand the baptism of the sun

I want to ask the sky

want to ask

just never dare to ask you again

drunk

thick

drunk

dying slowly perhaps

not dead

hiding in a corner

Quietly wither

fade away

until decay

I can only express my deep apologies and my deepest blessings to Brother Li, and hope that good people will be rewarded in the end!

I am happy, but happiness is accompanied by the pain of others.

He Zhichun returned to his hometown after a long absence, feeling very excited...

At the end of the year, the snow flying all over the sky sprinkles the purity of winter, which is as deep as the inextricable emotions, and is as turbulent as the sea, which can drown everything, including my mood at the moment.I stretched out my hand to touch the crystal-clear angel, and looked at it carefully, pure and calm, do those six petals represent the six desires of our human beings?I don't dare to speculate, I can only regard it as the six elves I love, jumping in my palm, twisting my waist, flapping my wings and leaving slowly until they disappear...

Some people say: "The mood without feeling is highly malleable", maybe Xueer is senseless, it doesn't like to hurt the spring and autumn like me, but I am not a Buddha, a fairy, or a saint, I am just a plain person Mountain villager.

My home made my mother happy, but it was also mixed with self-blame. Although my mother didn't say it, the sour eyes told me.

The atmosphere of the New Year is peaceful, as it has been for thousands of years. The sound of crackling firecrackers and colorful fireworks brought excitement to the quiet mountain village and added beauty.The white world, the fireworks that soared into the sky, instantly made the children cheer, and the waves of laughter overwhelmed the waves. The red, yellow, green, and purple flames always bloomed in the air first, and then they bloomed. Hearing the huge sound, it was like countless butterflies and fireflies flying on the white silk and satin, more like little elves flapping their wings...

Looking at the frolicking children, listening to the continuous sound of firecrackers, I am intoxicated, and I am also waiting, waiting for the bell of the coming year, waiting for the Zhichun of the coming year...

I was woken up very early by the sound of firecrackers opening the Caimen. I didn't get up, and listened quietly to the sound of blessings outside. The window was still white.In a daze, my mother woke me up, had breakfast, and my elder brother and younger sister paid New Year greetings to my uncles and neighbors!

Zhichun was also at my house when I came back from New Year’s greetings, with a smile all over his face, he said “Gong Xi Fa Cai” and stretched out his hand to me, and then “Here are the red envelopes”, I slapped his hand away, “How could you be such a New Year’s greeting, robbing me? "

While my brother and sister were walking away, he leaned close to my ear and whispered, "This young master steals sex but not wealth!"

"Go, go, go, go crazy on the first day of the new year, and go to cool off..." I pushed him away

Mother warmly served him tea, fruits and candies, as if she was afraid of neglecting him.

When he came to my room, Zhichun drank tea and said, "I told my dad that you will accompany me on business trips, and accompany me to apply for tax certificates and purchase certificates when we ship goods. ..."

"I've never messed with this before, don't screw it up for you..." I was a little unsure

"Tch, isn't there me? We are together, what are we afraid of? Husband and wife are of the same heart, and their benefits cut through gold!"

"Who is married to you..." I was really afraid that my mother would hear

"That's it, we'll go to Shijiazhuang after the Lantern Festival..." He seemed to have everything planned

The time in the first month passed almost at the same rhythm, eating, playing cards, drinking and chatting every day.

On the seventh day of the seventh day, Zhichun called me to say that there was a class reunion, and of course I couldn't be absent.

He came to pick me up in his car after four o'clock in the afternoon. Zhichun's family bought two cars, one was the old Santana, and the other was an Audi A6.This guy is also vain, and he actually drives a new car to show off.

Class reunions are indispensable for drinking, talking about the present, the future, development, and changes. The most talked about are the ups and downs and love and hatred at school.The old lady of the homeroom teacher became everyone's key target. During the conversation, I learned that several classmates got married and had children two years after graduation, and some were planning to get married.Hehe, we are really out, people have created human beings, but we are still alone.Many students also lamented and complained, dissatisfied with reality, helpless with their parents and confused about the future...

My poor class leader was really buried. I didn't get a diploma from studying, and I didn't get a good gold anywhere. I could only silently watch their prosperity and live my own loneliness.

Wine is a catalyst for connecting feelings. During the exchange of cups, the students talked freely, a little sad and burst into tears.I don't know why, but the relationship with my classmates always seems to be so pure, without interests, without disputes, our communication is purely the friendship of the past...

Feeling dizzy, I saw Chen Li calling Zhichun away, I pretended not to see it, although I was a little unhappy, but I still chatted and drank with my classmates as usual, I think it has been so many years, I have to leave I left early, how can I stay?

But can I really be with Zhichun forever?Looking at many people who got married today, and listening to them talking about their glorious love years, I am a little confused. We have grown up, 21, and the habits of the countryside. We have reached the age of talking about marriage. I am really I'm a little scared, an inexplicable fear...

I was so naive, I always thought that this world was the paradise for me and Zhichun, it was a gift from God that we were together, could we get married together?Can you have a baby?Can it be passed on to the family?Can life be reproduced from generation to generation?I keep asking myself...

Maybe they are happy. When it comes to family and children, there is joy everywhere. I can only hide aside, drink bitter wine, and buy a drunk and addicted heart.

Perhaps Zhichun and Chen Li should really be together, so that he will be happy and able to talk about family with his classmates.

I suddenly found myself wanting to cry, why did God make me like men?Even if we really love each other, will society and the world allow it?I really grew up, and the problems I never thought about before were ruthlessly awakened by reality!I didn't pay attention to what Zhichun and Chen Li said, I just want to drink, just want to get drunk, don't think about anything, just let my mind go empty, say that wine is the water of forgetting love, maybe When we are drunk, we are cut off from the world. Only when we are in the clouds, in the fog, in the dream, can Zhichun and I stay together forever, and we don’t have to care about other people’s everything...

I was really drunk, and Zhichun carried me to the car. None of the classmates knew why I was drinking so desperately. They thought it was because of joy and emotion. Zhichun was also wrong. He thought I was eating Chen Li As everyone knows, we have grown up, and family, society and ethics have slowly pressed us...