After I slapped my wife, he wandered the streets

Chapter 30 Knowing "I'm still rejoicing, it's me, not you. …

"Have you ever thought about..."

Pan Xun told everything, he no longer had the feeling of being suffocated just now, he calmly waited for the result, no matter what, it was a relief for him, coming to Bai Qianmian's side for a while, in the end, everything in the past It was still opened by the other party himself, Pan Xun thought, so he has not made much progress in the past 15 years, he is still cowardly and despicable.

In fact, this matter is impossible to have a result, and the fault has already been cast, but his delusion has an end.

"Have you ever thought about..." Bai Qianmian took a deep breath.

Pan Xun looked at him, reversed from the previous scene, he was the one who seemed calm, and Bai Qianmian repeated his previous question.

"Thinking about what?" Seeing that it was difficult for him to continue, Pan Xun said hoarsely.

"I know." It was still what Pan Xun said, Bai Qianmian suddenly raised her head and looked at his face, and repeated inexplicably: "I know everything."

"..." Pan Xun opened his mouth, he seemed not as surprised as he thought.

"Before those people kidnapped me and went to the broken house in the back mountain, they specifically told me that it was because I was wearing Luomen's school uniform, and the children who could study in Luomen must have rich families, so they robbed me, but they failed. They found a dollar from me." Bai Qianmian's eyes fixed on the outside of the car, "They felt annoyed that I was working for nothing, so they hit me."

And the injury to that place was just an accident, this is what Chen Bo said after Bai Qianmian was seriously injured and sent to the hospital for rescue.

"When they hit me, I was actually very happy." Bai Qianmian finally stopped grabbing his other hand, and his tone sounded a little relaxed, "I think, fortunately, the young master played a game with me today. The young master asked me to go home first, if the young master encounters such a thing, I will only suffer a hundred times and a thousand times."

"Light sleep..." Pan Xun called out, he just wanted to call out, he had nothing to say at this time.

"But, I saw you," Bai Qianmian shifted his gaze, met Pan Xun's red eyes, and then staggered away after two seconds, "Just one look, I held my head, just one look, I looked through that old door The window saw you hiding behind a tree and you were looking at me."

"So," Pan Xun's voice was trembling, "you know..."

Back then, he also guessed that Bai Qianmian might know about it, but later he felt that it was because he was too sensitive about what he had done. How could Bai Qianmian know about it? He didn't even know that he had been in contact with the family.Although we get along day and night, since he was a child, he has been able to hide things better, because he doesn't like to talk and has superfluous expressions, and the closest people dare not say how much they know him.

Until today, what did Bai Qianmian tell herself?He said he saw it, and he said he knew it.

what do you know?Know all your meanness?Did you know that you pushed him out to ward off a disaster?If he knew, if he knew...if he knew early on, then what kind of mood did Bai Qianmian use to express his concern for himself in the hospital?

If he guessed it later, then when I met him on my trip back to Sev, what kind of mood did he use to pretend nothing had happened and take care of him in every possible way?

Are you dumb?

Pan Xun wanted to ask Bai Qianmian if you were a fool. If he was betrayed and used by someone like this, Pan Xun thought, he would definitely cut that person into pieces. How could it be... How could he still like him? he.

Like...Will Bai Qianmian like herself?Who likes bedbugs in the gutter?

"I have never regretted it." Bai Qianmian said softly but firmly.

Pan Xun clasped his hands, and this time he pinched the back of his hand until it turned white. He opened his mouth, and he coughed violently, whether it was swallowing air or saliva. Only the organs are willing to give up.

Bai Qianmian lowered his head again, the black car stopped motionless on the weedy path, the desolate surroundings made the relationship between him and Pan Xun extremely dead.

He heard Pan Xun's hoarse voice asking intermittently, "You...did you guess it then?"

If you guessed it then, how did Bai Qianmian survive the next beating? What was he thinking when he was lying on the operating table?What was he thinking when he woke up and found that his body was no longer the same as before?

How uncomfortable it must be for him to see his shameless self while experiencing torture!

"I guess...you know."

"Then why didn't you ask?" Pan Xun's hands trembled again, and he was a little overwhelmed, "Why didn't you ask me, after waking up, why didn't you ask me why you were there?"

"..."

Pan Xun didn't dare to put himself in Bai Qianmian's position. He only knew that if it was him, even if he wasn't sure of the truth, he would definitely call out when he saw Bai Qianmian hiding behind a tree. If Bai Qianmian called out at that time... .

"If you called me at that time." You can imagine the consequences of Pan Xun.

"No if." Bai Qianmian shook her head, her tone was calm but firm, "I won't, no matter what the reason is, I want to protect you."

"You're an idiot."

"Today is probably a solution to a confusion in my heart." Bai Qianmian calmed down and said slowly, "I don't understand why you did that back then, but now I know."

Got it, then what?Can you forgive me?Before today's conversation, Pan Xun had such delusions, in some moments.

But now, he suddenly found that he couldn't let go of the past ten years, and all the entanglements and pains of the past ten years were so insignificant.

"Have you ever hated me?" Pan Xun didn't wait for an answer, "Have you ever hated me?"

"No." Bai Qianmian's voice was still very soft, but her tone was serious.

Pan Xun closed his eyes, "You..."

"I'm still rejoicing," Bai Qianmian looked at Pan Xun this time and didn't immediately avert his eyes. He seemed to be looking at another person who would never see him again through Pan Xun's face, "It's me, not you."

"why......"

"It's me, I can survive."

He answered briefly, but Pan Xun understood right away, Bai Qianmian meant that if such a thing happened to Pan Xun, even if he was not beaten to death on the spot, Pan Xun would not be able to survive afterwards.

But why should he think he can?Bai Qianmian is also a human being, she also has self-esteem and pride, also suffers from pain, and also despairs.

Pan Xun's nose was sore, and the tears in his eyes couldn't hold back anymore. He covered his eyes with one hand and lowered his head weakly, and slammed the steering wheel with great force.

Before the car was turned off, the horn sounded sharply.

Pan Xun raised his head, and after the horn stopped, he turned his face to the other side, Bai Qianmian could only see his trembling shoulders, Pan Xun was crying, at first silent tears, then slowly he could no longer control the sound coming out .

Like a child, he was crying loudly in the wilderness.

He endured this crying for many years, and it was many years too late. Pan Xun cried until the end and couldn't make a sound, and he couldn't tell whether it was for himself or Bai Qianmian.

When he could no longer shed any tears, he wiped his face with his sleeve. Bai Qianmian was turning his head to look at the sky outside the window. Pan Xun sniffed and followed his line of sight to see a big bird circling in the blue sky.

"We..." Pan Xun paused. When he straightened up, he glanced at the watch on his wrist. It has been an hour and a half since he stopped the car. If their previous conversation took an hour, then this The last time I cried was at least half an hour, Pan Xun thought, from birth to now, the total of 28 years of tears in his life is not as much as today, "Go home?"

"En." Bai Qianmian responded softly.

Pan Xun sniffed again, the tears were gone, but crying so hard that the snot still wanted to run down, he tilted his head and wiped it with his shoulder after starting the car.

On the next road, Bai Qianmian didn't speak again, Pan Xun drove him downstairs to the apartment, after Bai Qianmian opened the car door and went out, Pan Xun was still sitting in the car.

With his back turned, Bai Qianmian stood silently for a while, he didn't ask Pan Xun why he didn't get out of the car.

"I..." Pan Xun also kept looking at him, seeing that he was still not moving, and just opened his mouth to utter a word, Bai Qianmian, whose back was turned, took a step forward at the same time.

Pan Xun stopped talking immediately, and Bai Qianmian entered the apartment building alone.

When he couldn't see anyone, Pan Xun pressed the car window and looked at the window of their house upstairs, as if he was afraid that Bai Qianmian would arrive home first and look down from the window, so he hurriedly stepped on the gas pedal and left the spot.

He didn't try to apologize anymore, all apologies were too light in any form, as light as a joke with Bai Qianmian.

His heart was very confused, and he didn't dare to stay in the same confined space with the other party. He drove aimlessly around Moka City until after dark, when he suddenly thought of a place to go.

He drove to the hospital where Feng Yu was. The little girl was sitting on the hospital bed after dinner, reading a comic book.

Pan Xun's arrival caught her off guard, and she moved a little aggressively to hide something under the pillow.

"What is it?" Pan Xun pretended to lower his face.

Feng Yu glanced behind him with a smile, changed the subject and said, "Where's Brother Qianmian?"

"He...is busy," Pan Xun dragged the only stool in the ward and sat down, "I can't come."

"Ah?" Feng Yu blinked and frowned deeply, "Then why are you here? Oh~ I see, you two had a fight."

"There was no quarrel." Pan Xun lowered his gaze and saw a corner of the comic book protruding from under the pillow.

Feng Yu didn't notice it, she was still staring at Pan Xun's eyes, and said arrogantly: "You lied to me, you cried, your eyes are swollen like dead swim bladders."

"You can really talk," Pan Xun twitched the corner of his mouth, and couldn't help reaching out to pat her on the head, "Who taught you?"

"Hey, stop crying~" Feng Yu stood up from the bed, and patted Pan Xun's head condescendingly.

Pan Xun was surprised by her actions, and looked up at her swollen neck and face due to the pain.

Feng Yu imitated Bai Qianmian's comforting tone in the past, and said gently to Pan Xun, "Life is just one fucking thing followed by an even more fucking thing, and when the next fucking thing happens, you'll know the last one. It's not worth your tears at all, so don't be sad, save your tears for later."

Pan Xun: "...Hand over the comic books under your pillow, and the ones you stuffed in your pants before I entered the door."