sinovels Chapter 106
Chapter 106
"Yesterday's grand meeting seemed very important? After you, there were several big figures who spoke. The audience was sometimes solemn, and sometimes they were amused by the humorous words on the stage. At the end when everyone got up to leave the meeting, I was a little at a loss. I didn't know whether to go to the meeting immediately. Come to you, tell you my reason for coming, and confess that I have traveled thousands of miles to join you, and I should stand still, after all, there are so many people surrounding you. You frown, you shake your head, you have a bit of a wry smile, and then you are surrounded by those people. The tall girl tugged, and the people on both sides seemed to be competing with you to act coquettishly. They clamped you from left to right, shaking your body gently. You were wearing a small gray houndstooth suit, and your hair was draped softly over your shoulders. Behind you, the length is about the waist. You seem to be helpless, and you finally start to move under their lead. I stood up, separated from you by the distance of the Milky Way, and moved with the movement of your legs, Slowly I saw the light ocher boots on your feet, and your slender ankles exposed. You are still so perfect, and even the details make my heart palpitate. If you allow me to use a vulgar word to describe you , then Jiaqi, you are a goddess. I used to live in heaven and was too close to God. I was used to the brilliance, so I was so blind that I ignored it. I followed you to the outside of the auditorium. It is no different from the ones in China, both of which have a slight coolness. The night is like ink falling into the day, and the black pigment gradually becomes thicker until it completely invades and blends into one. At first, I didn’t like those surrounding Your girls, I'm jealous that they can stand in front of you without any problems, and when I follow you, I can't help but appreciate them. Without their cover, I may be found by you soon .
"Almost all of your group of people who came out of the lecture hall went to that party. It was very lively inside, and the access control was not strict. It seemed that anyone who was willing to go in and have a drink was welcome. I stood outside for a long time, but later Go in. You don't dance or make noise, just sit quietly in a corner. But you won't be lonely. Objective conditions don't allow you to be lonely. The people around you talk to you all the time, even though you just nod occasionally She is not happy, but she keeps talking, laughing all the time, and looks at you affectionately when she picks up a cup to drink. It is not the previous few, but an extremely tall brown-skinned beauty. In my heart The sourness is bubbling. Because she is so right with you. I have never looked at you from the perspective of an outsider before, and I should take you as my own and mine alone, so even if you are with others In my imagination, you are always waiting for me independently. Others? Even if there is, it is an insignificant passer-by.
"My vest was scratched by someone suddenly, I turned my head, but it was the blonde girl from before, she seemed very happy to see me, and buzzed something in my ear, my eyes still looked back at you , I can't look away. The blonde asked me, 'aren't they cute?' I said yes, you two are really in love, and then the blonde said, Gracia is going to confess to you tonight, I asked who is gracia, She pointed to the brown-skinned girl, as if surprised that I didn't know her, maybe this one is also a celebrity.
"I forgot how I got out of that banquet scene. I slipped away when the blonde girl said to bring me a drink. Will she tell you that there is a pervert wearing a mask who has been spying on you today. I wandered aimlessly outside, walked slowly into a cafe, sat down and thought quietly. According to my first reaction, I should rush up and take you away, just like a dragon taking away a princess, you It's mine, and I can't accept other people's confession of love. But I don't know why, I searched my stomach, but I couldn't find the courage to do it. Maybe it was because I abandoned you before that I didn't have enough confidence to do it. Maybe it was crossing the ocean Coming to you has exhausted all my strength at this stage.
"When the coffee was refilled for the second time, the dark-skinned waiter asked me if I was alone. I shook my head, waited for him to turn around, and then began to cry slowly. I was so close to you, figured it out many things.
"I suddenly realized the cruel truth between me and you. Jiaqi, I have taken over your life. Like that unreasonable overlord flower, I use your love and care as nutrients to fill the gaps in my life." Perfect, but not consciously, even agreed to be a lover with you at first, and felt that I was the one who made a concession, because I wanted to maintain the relationship of 'friends'. And we even have different classes. How can there be I rely on your 'friends' so wholeheartedly? Without me, you would have many other friends, although the truth is that even under my control, you are still welcome, but because I possess too thoroughly Because of this, you have become casual acquaintances with those who originally had the possibility of confiding in your heart. Because I occupy you in this way, your friend is me, your girlfriend is me, and your lover is also me. I will treat you as infinite The vast world is compressed to only one cubic meter. And you can’t even escape, maybe it’s Stockholm? It’s also because we only have each other, so when we lose, it seems that the whole world is destroyed. This is an obvious reason ——If we have many friends at the same time, if we accidentally fall out with one of them, then we will not be so painful that our mentality collapses, at least we will have other friends for comfort. If we have not only talked about this love, then you lose me like this A worthless lover, the scar left on the heart, is it no longer the Great Rift Valley, but just an insignificant small gap? How unreasonable I am, first occupying your world, and then destroying it with my own hands .
"I also suddenly understood my mother. She always sent me out. I once suspected that she didn't love me. For example, when she divorced my father, she let me and my father without even thinking about it, which seemed that I was her impatient To get rid of the burden, until I got into a car accident later, she told my father, "The child has been with you for 5 minutes and you let her fall into the lake. When she died, she didn't know whether she fell or drowned." Take me back. She took me with her before, and she also liked to send me to your house. When I was in high school, she even threw me directly at your house for two years. Jia Qi, if I say that I don’t have any resentment in my heart, that’s not true It’s possible. I used to think for a while, since I don’t love me, since I don’t want to take me, since I don’t like me, why did I have to be born? Why not just kill me? It’s natural to be born and not willing to bear the burden Is it me who applied to you to come to this world? Did you ask my opinion when you gave birth to me without authorization? Most of the time I don’t bother to think about things too deeply, but in the dead of night, I occasionally get into the corners, and such thoughts turn in my heart Thousands of times. But at this moment, I suddenly understood. It’s not because she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t want to take me; but, she also has limited ability, she can’t take me, just like bronze can’t take another bronze , She and I are half a catty, and there are also injuries all over the body. She can only send me to a better place. For example, my dad has established a new family. They are a healthy and loving small group, and her The future was up in the air, so she let me go. Another example is that Jiaqi's home is well-organized, which is better than our messy one.
"I also want to love you again. I also want to take you as my own. But I'm afraid I can't carry this love anymore. I will only ask you endlessly, and I will die at any time, Leaving you alone. In this relationship between me and you, we were not equal from the beginning. You can give me too much, and you are never mean. And although I want to give everything I have For you, I can give too little. Those healthy and beautiful women and even men around you still have a bright future. For the rest of your life, you will definitely meet someone who can brighten your life. People, you are like the sun and the moon, helping each other. Not like me, you can only drag you into troubles that don't belong to you.
"You know what the funniest thing is? Just after I decided to let you go, I thought I should do something to make myself happy. Because I couldn't stop the tears. I thought about you and that brown-skinned The scene of beauties sitting together. You are like milk, she is like chocolate. Heat it up and melt together, it will be mellow milk chocolate, which must be delicious. But I drink it in my mind, but my teeth are so sour, and my stomach will be perforated Yes. Although you may not agree to her, but what about the next chocolate, the next chocolate? There will always be one you will be tempted by. When my manuscript was killed by the new editor-in-chief for the seventh time, I told the editor, I may not be able to hold on anymore, and my mentality collapsed. The editor said, don’t, go buy a lollipop or a lottery ticket to see if it can make you feel better. I really bought ten lottery tickets, and my mood improved rapidly , although I perfectly avoided all the winning numbers in the end. For a person who has never won the "one more bottle" with a 50.00% winning rate since childhood, I am not surprised, but I am very happy to get such a low-cost and efficient way to decompress. I When I came out of the cafe, I saw someone wearing a colorful clown costume, shaking a golden bell in his hand, and there was a lottery table next to them. They were selling a new type of drink. Buy six cans and you can scan the code to draw a lottery. The prize is not a bonus What, reward travel. Mainly in some countries in Eastern Europe and West Asia. I bought six cans at will. Then I smoked it indifferently. I won. The people around me were so sad. The corresponding number I drew was to go to Egypt Traveling. I have been fascinated by the ancient country of Egypt for a long time. Those classical legends and those majestic buildings all fascinate me. But why is it so joking, just when I gave up on you, I won the lottery? What does this mean? , This shows that meeting Xie Jiaqi and owning her is indeed the greatest reward and the greatest luck in Lin Weimian's life. Because she didn't want this reward and gave up voluntarily, so God comforted her and let her be in another place one of them.
"Someone reminded me that being careful is a scam. I thought to myself, it doesn't matter if it's a scam. For me now, there is nothing that can stimulate me. There is no suffering in life, and there are only experiences. I really can't do this Go back as if nothing had happened. The last time I left you, I was a little confused. Everything happened too fast, and people didn't realize it. This time, I was really dead, and it was impossible to recover. Jiaqi, you will see When you read these words, you will definitely forgive me, right? Because you at that time must have been healed. For you, Lin Weimian is "melancholy, old love is like a dream". Dreams are faint shadows, without power , and there is no threat. Goodbye, Xie Jiaqi."