A bowl of sweet soup

Chapter 28 Bowl 1 28

At that time, Ji Wei was confused about his sexuality when he was a teenager because he couldn't help thinking about his friends in his dreams.

Soon, he looked up the word homosexuality.

Around this keyword, he began to secretly search for relevant information.

In that relatively feudal and conservative era, Ji Wei had almost never heard of or seen so-called homosexuality, and all the men he knew discussed women without exception, which made him instinctively realize that he was a different kind.

It seems that he is the only man in the world like this.

So he just silently and secretly investigated where no one knew.

If he wants to use the computer when his mother is not at home, he will remember to carefully clear all browsing records and search history on the webpage every time he finishes checking.

Go to the school library to borrow related books?

This is impossible.

Not to mention whether there is a school hall, if it is discovered, it will be difficult to explain.

Therefore, he always went to the distant city library to read books alone, and only read them there without taking them away, so as not to leave any suspicious records on the library card.

While he has to maintain normal and busy school activities, he can’t make his mother suspicious at home. Even if he occasionally catches up with the holidays, he always has a date with Tang Xuen—for him, this is a priority—so he can make it out Not much free time.

The progress is slow, but meticulous.

He was not in a hurry, and felt that he had to conduct a calm and comprehensive investigation and research.

However, Ji Wei searched and compiled all the information from all over the world, but no matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find relevant evidence that this is a reasonable and legal event.

All negative information.

No country recognizes that same-sex likes same-sex, this is not allowed.

Even in many countries, it used to be a crime against the law until it was abolished in recent years.

In the novels on related themes, without exception, liking the same sex all ends in tragedy.

In some famous novels about love between men and women, homosexuals will also appear indistinctly. Ji Wei couldn't see it before, but now he can see it. All of them are paranoid and crazy villains, and they end up miserable and unloved.

What about from a scientific point of view?

He found a copy of the current version of "Classification and Diagnostic Criteria of Mental Disorders" in the library, read it alone in a corner where no one was around, and found it under item 60 [sexual abnormality] of mental illness.

The first classification 60.0 is: Homosexuality.

It is written in the book:

These behaviors are likely to be produced only under the influence of the disease.

Regardless of whether the pervert is born or acquired, "sexual perverts" cannot control their strong desires because their minds have been damaged by the disease. Therefore, we cannot force them to be responsible for their actions, but should impose treatment on them. ①

Ji Wei always remembers the afternoon when he saw this passage.

It was a very ordinary day. In the summer when he was 17 years old, there were a lot of people coming to the library during the holidays. Fortunately, he was well prepared and came early so he could occupy a corner seat.

This is the window on the right hand side, and the wall behind it. You can’t see him from a distance on the opposite side. At least pay attention to the people on the left side so that you won’t be able to spy on what he’s reading.In fact, generally speaking, he would not meet someone with such a strong desire for voyeurism, but he still felt that he should try to be as safe as possible.

There were a lot of people, and he felt uneasy that his secret would be revealed at any time. There were two ignorant children running around, making noise and annoying.

The weather was extremely hot, especially since he was still sitting by the window where others didn't want to sit, and was exposed to the hot sun, making it even hotter.

At that time, the municipal library did not install air conditioners, only old-fashioned electric fans, which hadn’t been cleaned for a while, were dusty, heavy, creaked and turned, and wobbled frighteningly, always causing people to worry that they would fall down.

The sunlight shone on the pages of the book, illuminating the brand-new paper brightly. I don't know what kind of paper it was used for, but I always felt that the reflection was not very soft, and it was a bit harsh, or maybe it was just his own illusion.

He read this passage silently in his heart and repeated it, as if hoping to interpret different meanings.

Can't read anything else.

When the anxiety in my heart reached its peak.

"Wow--!!"

The cry of the child suddenly exploded.

Ji Wei lowered his head and saw beads of sweat falling on the paper and seeping into it quickly.

It happened to fall on the word "disease", and the poor-quality ink of the printed words was smeared a little. He hurriedly wiped it with a paper towel. After wiping, it became more blurred, and the more he wiped, the dirtier it was, and it couldn't be wiped clean.

He felt that what was said in the book was correct, indeed, over the past two years, his fantasies about his good friend of the same gender not only did not disappear, but also intensified faintly, which he could not control at all.

And no, because he doesn't want to admit that he just likes someone who is his gender and has to be called a mental illness requiring intervention.

He doesn't think it's a disease.

But all mentally ill people don't think they are sick.

When Tang Xuen was not by his side, he could still maintain his rationality, and he kept persuading himself not to use your good friend to dream like that, how disrespectful.

He vaguely realized that this was not a good thing, and his instinct of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages made him think that this love should be stifled in its infancy.

But can't do it.

As long as Tang Xuen stands in front of him, his will will collapse; if he smiles at him again, his whole heart will melt, and he has no resistance at all.

friend, friend.

Sometimes, it is often the most disrespectful between friends. They don't know how to keep a distance from physical contact, and they don't know that some language like love words can't be spoken casually.

Maybe they should separate.

Because he was the only one who was sick between the two of them.

But Ji Wei couldn't make him categorically sever ties with Tang Xuen and separate.

One day, he made up his mind to think that maybe he should try not to go to Tang Xuen, but it seemed that he only persisted for half a day, less than eight hours.

When he saw that Tang Xuen's class was over for physical education and Tang Xuen was moving things with a girl upstairs, he seemed to be possessed by a demon, and when he recovered, he was already beside Tang Xuen, with a dark face Said: "I happened to pass by, let me help you."

Tang Xuen smiled and said, "Oh, thank you."

Tang Xuen didn't notice it at all, and was still cheerful.

It was so innocent.

Ji Wei looked at Tang Xuen's smile and thought.

I like his innocence, I am annoyed by his innocence, and I am grateful for his innocence.

Best best, don’t know, don’t find out.

Then it wouldn't hurt like he did.

Ji Wei hopes that Tang Xuen will not have to taste the pain. Although he knows better than anyone how strong and optimistic Tang Xuen is. His mother died young, his father was seriously ill, and he still has a pair of younger brothers to take care of. Setbacks knocked down too.

What if he finds out that his friends are missing him?Ji Wei couldn't imagine Tang Xuen's reaction.

Even though he knew that Tang Xuen was the most good-tempered person, it was impossible for him to accuse and abuse him, but he couldn't accept the one in ten thousand possibility that Tang Xuen would alienate and hate him.

By that time, we will definitely not be able to make even ordinary friends.

After secretly wanting to love Tang Xu with feelings other than friends many times but failed, Ji Wei temporarily gave up this uncontrollable attempt.

But my mother found him abnormal.

Later, when his mother had a heart-to-heart talk with him, she said that she had actually observed him for a long time.

And found many clues, seeing that he seemed to be getting more and more depressed, so I decided to open up with him and have a good talk about love affairs.

That day Tang Xuen came to his house to do homework.

Originally, he didn't come and wanted to bring his younger brother, but Ji Wei said that you should bring your younger brother along.The two little boys are very obedient, they are very polite in his house, they don't jump up and down, if Tang Zheng is not so talkative, it will be more perfect.

Mom welcomed Tang Xuen and his younger brother very much, and prepared delicious meals and snacks for them.

After they finished their homework, they were also allowed to play Monopoly for two hours. His house was filled with laughter all afternoon, and it was a happy scene.

It's not until five o'clock.

While it was still daylight, Tang Xuen took his two younger brothers home by bus.

Ji Wei sent them to the bus platform.

Tang Xuen is like a mother duck with two ducklings, rushing the two children into the car first.They were good-looking, and they knew to bow or wave to Ji Wei before getting into the car, and said childishly, "Brother Ji Wei, goodbye."

In the end, Tang Xuen also bid farewell to him, and said with a slight smile, "Goodbye. See you on Monday."

Ji Wei: "Well, goodbye."

He came home.

Mom was sitting by the table, and there were papers, pens and fruit plates scattered on the table, Ji Wei took the initiative to say, "I'll clean it up."

Come closer.

Before he started, his mother stopped him and asked, "I have something to tell you."

Ji Wei stopped.

Maybe it's because of the blood connection, seeing the look in his mother's eyes after raising her head, Ji Wei felt that something different would happen in the next moment.

A hot summer wind blows in the yard outside the window, making the osmanthus trees in the yard rustle.

Mom asked: "Do you like boys?"

Ji Wei didn't speak.

Mom asked again: "Do you like Tang Xuen?"

Ji Wei still didn't speak.

He was silent for a full minute, maybe two or three minutes.

It's been a long time anyway.Seconds are as long as years.

He was unconscious, and pulled out the chair unconsciously. In the quiet room where the needles could be heard, there was the sound of the chair's feet hitting the ground, but when he pulled the chair away, he thought, he doesn't deserve to sit down, right?

So still standing.

He couldn't admit it.

But I can't deny it against my will.

Mom didn't press him.

After a while, he just stretched out his hand and patted his hand that was tightly clenched on the edge of the chair. He unconsciously squeezed until his knuckles turned white, and said, "Don't hold it so tightly, I won't beat you and scold you." .”

"You have to know that no matter what, you are my child."

Ji Wei thought for a while, and felt that he should defend Tang Xuen, and said in a muffled voice, "He doesn't have any thoughts about me. Mom, he only regards me as a good friend. It's my fault."

"You're not bad. Don't say that about yourself." She said with reddish eyes and moist eyes, "I don't think this has any effect on your character."

"In my mother's heart, you are still a good boy who is upright and kind."

Ji Wei said depressedly, "I don't know what's going on either."

"I know I shouldn't, I have to change it, but I can't."

Mom choked up and said, "Don't push yourself so hard, okay? Just let it be."

Mostly because the atmosphere was too heavy, she even joked: "If I haven't divorced that person, he might be furious and make a big fuss. But I'm different, I'm an enlightened and advanced intellectual Women. Others despise divorce and dare not divorce, but I dare to divorce and file a lawsuit with that person to let him leave the house. Isn't it?"

"You are also a different child. You support me, respect me, and protect me."

"Then, mother will respect you too."

From then on, he would still invite Tang Xuen to their house to play.

Mom is still warmly entertaining, but unlike other students who come to the door, she will use the highest standard and bring out the most expensive snacks and fruits at home.

He continued to maintain his friendship with Tang Xuen.

Silent.

Until after the college entrance examination.

His grades came out, he was admitted to Q University, and will go to the capital to go to university, while Tang Xuen gave up his studies, intending to inherit the family business, stay in his hometown, and raise two underage younger brothers.

The mother, who never mentioned this matter again, finally couldn't bear it, and asked him carefully: "Aren't you going to confess? You are far away, and your heart is also far away. It may be difficult to meet again in the future. It will be a pity."

"For me, it's a pity that I didn't confess. It's not for him. It's a psychological shadow to be confessed by me, right?" He smirked twice, pondered a lot, and said, "Since we know that there will be no result, Why make him worry in vain? It's better to let him think of me as a kind-hearted friend, full of good memories."

"It's me who wants to like him unilaterally. I can't be so selfish."

Mom said, "Okay."

"Maybe after you go outside, you will fall in love with someone else."

He said, "I don't know."

Time flies like turning a page.

One year, two years, three years... In the blink of an eye, seven years have passed.

He came back from studying abroad and ended his boring and long study and work life.

Ji Wei feels that he has caught up with the good times. The society has changed in the past few years, and the era when homosexuality was considered a disease and crime is over. He saw the news that same-sex marriage was possible in the news and by his side.

Tang Xuen is not married yet.

Maybe it's time for him to go home.

After arriving home, the first thing is to have dinner with my mother, and the second thing is to have dinner with Tang Xuen at night.

Mom was slightly taken aback, and asked, "Do you still like him?"

Ji Wei answered lightly but firmly: "Yes."

Mom smiled: "Aren't you stupid?"

Ji Wei still said, "I don't know."

But my mother didn't ask too much about his life, she just said: "It's better to be loyal than to be in a hurry. Xiaotang is indeed a good boy, and it's worth your liking for him for so many years."

At this time, Ji Wei was mature and stable, and even dared to ask sensitive questions easily: "Then I may not have children in the future."

Mom was even happier: "Isn't that better? I don't want to fight with you about raising children. I see my old sisters are so annoying. And I can play around as an easy rich old lady."

Until a while ago.

He couldn't hold back and said to his mother: "I should be chasing Tang Xuen soon."

My mother said: "If you catch up, you will catch up. What does it mean to catch up quickly?"

Ji Wei said: "That is, when he came to celebrate your birthday... I don't know what to say."

His mother was much more relaxed than him, and said with a smile: "I understand, the beauty of a gentleman as an adult is the harmony of the world."

and so--

Now Ji Wei can honestly say to Tang Xuen:

"My mother knew we were in a relationship."

"I told her that ten years ago."

"She always knew I liked you."

I didn't expect my aunt to know about it!

Tang Xuen was at a loss, so nervous that he unconsciously picked the edge of the apron with his fingers: "Hmm."

Ji Wei continued to comfort him: "Don't be afraid, she doesn't object at all."

"She also urged me to take you to your home as soon as possible, to meet formally, and to give you a big red envelope."

Tang Xuen: "K-Ke, Auntie gave such an expensive jade pendant."

Ji Wei smiled and said, "You have to get used to it."

"In the future, she will treat you with the standard of her son's boyfriend, and it will be better than before. Don't feel embarrassed. This is what it should be."

This kindness came so suddenly, Tang Xuen felt happy but didn't know how to respond, so he panicked and felt stupid.

At this time.

Tang Zheng, who knew nothing, suddenly came to the yard.

Ji Wei consciously pushed away half a step, keeping a relatively innocent distance from Tang Xuen.

When Tang Zheng saw him, he stared at him with a strange look, looking mean.

Ji Wei tried to cover up and said, "Uh, I'm just talking about something with your brother, it's business."

This is not a lie.

But Tang Zheng scratched his head and said, "Ah, I just wanted to say hello to you...it's impolite not to say hello."

He looked at Tang Xuen and asked for advice with a embarrassed face: "But, brother, will I call Ji Wei 'brother' or 'sister-in-law' from now on?"

Ji Wei: "?"